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Topic Started: Sep 1 2007, 01:39 PM (6 Views)
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function getMessage() {
// create array of murphy laws
var ar = new Array(65) //65 = number of quotes
ar[0] = '"'+"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes."+'"'+" - Oscar Wilde"
ar[1] = '"'+"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."+'"'+" - Winston Churchill"
ar[2] = '"'+"Desperate times call for desperate measures"+'"'+" - Unknown"
ar[3] = '"'+"We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."+'"'+" - Douglas MacArthur"
ar[4] = '"'+"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."+'"'+" - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery"
ar[5] = '"'+"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."+'"'+" - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)"
ar[6] = '"'+"If I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape."+'"'+" - Unknown"
ar[7] = '"'+"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."+'"'+" - Lily Tomlin"
ar[8] = '"'+"You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play."+'"'+" - Warren Beatty"
ar[9] = '"'+"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."+'"'+" - Benjamin Franklin"
ar[10] = '"'+"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."+'"'+" - Samuel Butler"
ar[11] = '"'+"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."+'"'+" - Noel Coward"
ar[12] = '"'+"Someone's boring me. I think it's me."+'"'+" - Dylan Thomas"
ar[13] = '"'+"My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity."+'"'+" - George Bernard Shaw"
ar[14] = '"'+"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."+'"'+" - John Ruskin"
ar[15] = '"'+"In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat."+'"'+" - Robert Byrne"
ar[16] = '"'+"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?"+'"'+" - Charles M. Schulz"
ar[17] = '"'+"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."+'"'+" - William Dement"
ar[18] = '"'+"The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."+'"'+" - Franklin P. Jones"
ar[19] = '"'+"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."+'"'+" - Woodrow Wilson"
ar[20] = '"'+"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."+'"'+" - George Bernard Shaw"
ar[21] = '"'+"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."+'"'+" - Neil Gaiman"
ar[22] = '"'+"Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts."+'"'+" - Clare Booth Luce"
ar[23] = '"'+"A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward."+'"'+" - Jean Paul Richter"
ar[24] = '"'+"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."+'"'+" - Jules Renard"
ar[25] = '"'+"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."+'"'+" - Robert Benchley"
ar[26] = '"'+"All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often."+'"'+" - Stanislaw J. Lec"
ar[27] = '"'+"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."+'"'+" - Henry David Thoreau"
ar[28] = '"'+"A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them."+'"'+" - Unknown"
ar[29] = '"'+"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."+'"'+" - Tom Stoppard"
ar[30] = '"'+"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."+'"'+" - Thomas Jefferson"
ar[31] = '"'+"Only the educated are free."+'"'+" - Epictetus"
ar[32] = '"'+"There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity."+'"'+" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"
ar[33] = '"'+"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk."+'"'+" - Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider"
ar[34] = '"'+"The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it."+'"'+" - Carl Becker"
ar[35] = '"'+"To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level."+'"'+" - Bertrand Russell"
ar[36] = '"'+"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."+'"'+" - Elbert Hubbard"
ar[37] = '"'+"No."+'"'+" - Amy Carter"
ar[38] = '"'+"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."+'"'+" - Brian Littrell"
ar[39] = '"'+"I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading."+'"'+" - Zach Braff"
ar[40] = '"'+"Every increased possession loads us with new weariness."+'"'+" - John Ruskin"
ar[41] = '"'+"Ability will never catch up with the demand for it."+'"'+" - Malcolm Forbes"
ar[42] = '"'+"Against logic there is no armor like ignorance."+'"'+" - Laurence J. Peter"
ar[43] = ""+"The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth."+""+" - HL Mencken"
ar[44] = ""+"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."+""+" - Phyllis Diller"
ar[45] = ""+"The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him."+""+" - Henry Stimson"
ar[46] = ""+"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."+""+" - Isaac Asimov"
ar[47] = ""+"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches."+""+" - George Bernard Shaw"
ar[48] = ""+"Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box."+""+" - Italian Proverb"
ar[49] = ""+"Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."+""+" - Sir Winston Churchill"
ar[50] = ""+"It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously."+""+" - Peter Ustinov"
ar[51] = ""+"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."+""+" - George Santayana"
ar[52] = ""+"First secure an independent income, then practice virtue."+""+" - Greek Proverb"
ar[53] = ""+"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."+""+" - EF Schumacher"
ar[54] = ""+"When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest."+""+" - William Hazlitt"
ar[55] = ""+"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"+""+" - Ronnie Shakes"
ar[56] = ""+"Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night."+""+" - Philip K. Dick"
ar[57] = ""+"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend."+""+" - Jacques Derrida"
ar[58] = ""+"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault."+""+" - Henry Kissinger"
ar[59] = ""+"Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control."+""+" - Don Marquis"
ar[60] = ""+"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."+""+" - Oscar Wilde"
ar[61] = ""+"Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man."+""+" - J. Robert Oppenheimer"
ar[62] = ""+"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."+""+" - Gerald R. Ford"
ar[63] = ""+"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."+""+" - Peter Drucker"
ar[64] = ""+"A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat."+""+" - Katharine Whitehorn"
//...

var now = new Date()
var sec = now.getSeconds()

document.getElementById('ranq').innerHTML= ar[sec % 65] //65 = nb of quotes
}
getMessage()
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