Parted Together

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Parted Together; by our very own writersblock242
Topic Started: Jun 6 2009, 05:29 PM (67 Views)
aerodynamics	Jun 6 2009, 05:29 PM Post #1
Gang Leader Posts: 500 Group: Senior Member Member #401 Joined: October 14, 2008 Favourite Outsiders Character Dallas Winston Favourite Outsiders Character Steve Randle Fanfiction.net Username aerodynamics	As some of you may know, writersblock242 has posted a oneshot. I urge you to read it, and if you've read it, I urge you to check out the changes. Quite a bit of work went into this one, and I'm sure writersblock242 would love any reviews ;) Parted Together by: writersblock242
	"Well, that's crappy."


rileysmomma	Jun 6 2009, 05:55 PM Post #2
Gang Leader Posts: 1,897 Group: Senior Member Member #317 Joined: July 27, 2008 Favourite Outsiders Character Tim Shepard Favourite Outsiders Character Darry Curtis Fanfiction.net Username RileysMomma	Just read it. Found one tiny little thing that ought to be fixed but it's nothing major. “Curly ~~got~~ broke his arm after you got hauled in. Fell of a fucking telephone pole,” The word "got" should be deleted for the sentence to make sense and "of" should be "off". Or, if casual speech is the goal, try something like: “Curly got his arm broke after you got hauled in. Fell off a fucking telephone pole,” But aside from that, it was nice to see an exchange between Dallas and Tim. Edited to add: And I have left a review as well. Edited by rileysmomma, Jun 6 2009, 06:01 PM.
	Put on your big girl panties and deal with it! Don't be the person who lights up a room by leaving it. The wisdom of chocolate: "Smile. Everyone will wonder what you're up to." - the message inside my Dove Promises wrapper


writersblock242	Jun 7 2009, 06:39 AM Post #3
Greaser Posts: 237 Group: Senior Member Member #552 Joined: April 20, 2009 Favourite Outsiders Character Dallas Winston Favourite Outsiders Character Tim Shepard Fanfiction.net Username writersblock242	Thanks! I feel so honored. (I fixed the changes you suggested RM)
	I have left borderline obsession and I am driving away in my blue 66' mustang, laughing at the borderline for being so far away. -Me about The Outsiders (shoot, Randy got a new car.) "Remembering. Remembering a handsome, dark boy with a reckless grin and a hot temper. A tough, tow-headed boy with a cigarette in his mouth and a bitter grin on his hard face. Remembering-and this time it didn't hurt-a quiet, defeated-looking sixteen year old whose hair needed cutting badly and who had black eyes with a frightened expression on them. One week had taken them all."


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