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| Economic Stimulus | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 22 2010, 11:59 AM (236 Views) | |
| New Harumf | Jun 22 2010, 11:59 AM Post #1 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment? It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan. If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1) Spending it at yard sales, or 2) Going to ball games, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.) Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. |
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| Tristan da Cunha | Jun 22 2010, 12:04 PM Post #2 |
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Science and Industry
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:lol: Brilliant God Bless America. |
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| Rhadamanthus | Jun 22 2010, 12:05 PM Post #3 |
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Legitimist
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Hilarious. |
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| Aelius | Jun 22 2010, 12:17 PM Post #4 |
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Norman Warlord
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Awesome. :lol: If I actually receive one this time, it will probably go to college tuition or into my savings account. |
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| Filo | Jun 22 2010, 01:03 PM Post #5 |
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General
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Ah should i tell you the italian situation? We have a tatooed prostitute as premier and he has gave himself an economic stimolus! |
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| Menhad | Jun 22 2010, 01:27 PM Post #6 |
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ET2(IDW)
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In the immortal words of Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain." EDIT: I doubt I will get one, year before last year I had about $1000 go into federal withholding, got $40 back. Considering I made waaaay under minimum wage (About $5000 dollers, but I was still in high-school.), this pisses me off. This amout ($1000) did not include social security or medicare taxes.... ARG! SIMS SMASH! Edited by Menhad, Jun 22 2010, 01:32 PM.
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| New Harumf | Jun 22 2010, 01:49 PM Post #7 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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That's what you get for being your parent's tax deduction. But, you gave them about a 2500 deduction, but lost the 1000 for yourself, so you should hirt them up for the $1000 (except they will point out the food you eat, the rent you don't pay, the electricity you use, the water bill, gas bill, etc, and you'll end up feeling like shit). |
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| Filo | Jun 22 2010, 04:33 PM Post #8 |
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General
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Seriously talking (so not talking about Berlusconi :D ) The problem is not the direct taxes, which in theory would be paid according to the census. But the indirect ones, such as the Italian IVA, value added tax is a tax equal to all social classes there on all products. Should be abolished because it is very unjust, changing the value of an asset than its real value. |
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| New Harumf | Jun 22 2010, 04:37 PM Post #9 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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All I can say, Filo, is "Please tell Obama!" |
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| Paradise | Jun 22 2010, 07:33 PM Post #10 |
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Resident bureaucrat
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Canada is the first oil supplier of the US... Of course, on the behalf of Canadians, I thank the Americans for spending their economic stimulus payment in canadian products :D |
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| NRE | Jun 22 2010, 08:18 PM Post #11 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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I nor my parents got a stimulus check so I suppose I'll be going to the ballpark with my tattooed prostitute on my own dime. |
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| Comrade Queen | Jun 22 2010, 08:30 PM Post #12 |
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Comrade Bitchqueen
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Yep. |
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| flumes | Jun 22 2010, 09:09 PM Post #13 |
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CLEVELAND ROCKS!
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I'll be joining you on my own dime. |
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| NRE | Jun 22 2010, 10:46 PM Post #14 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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:lol: I'll save you a seat! |
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| New Harumf | Jun 23 2010, 09:18 AM Post #15 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Two seats! Prostitute, remember? |
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| Nag Ehgoeg | Jun 23 2010, 11:43 AM Post #16 |
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The Devil's Advocate
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They don't need seats. |
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| NRE | Jun 23 2010, 12:41 PM Post #17 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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exactly, what do you think our laps are for ;) |
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| New Harumf | Jun 23 2010, 12:47 PM Post #18 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Dances???? |
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| Holy Catholic Imperium | Jun 23 2010, 12:52 PM Post #19 |
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Turd Burgalur
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Do Canadians get an economic stimulus? |
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| Paradise | Jun 23 2010, 05:45 PM Post #20 |
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Resident bureaucrat
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Yeah, it's called "Canada's economic action plan". Although, it's very small relatively to the US one. |
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| Hastine | Jun 23 2010, 06:58 PM Post #21 |
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Universi enim hic sumus.
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From the moment this thread title was posted, it had the potential to become sexual. |
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11:53 AM Jul 13