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Economic Stimulus
Topic Started: Jun 22 2010, 11:59 AM (236 Views)
New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q. Where will the government get this money?

From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:



If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka.


If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.


If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or
China.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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Tristan da Cunha
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Science and Industry
:lol: Brilliant

God Bless America.
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Rhadamanthus
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Legitimist

Hilarious.
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Aelius
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Norman Warlord
Awesome. :lol:

If I actually receive one this time, it will probably go to college tuition or into my savings account.
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Filo
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General
Ah should i tell you the italian situation?

We have a tatooed prostitute as premier and he has gave himself an economic stimolus!

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Menhad
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ET2(IDW)
Filo
Jun 22 2010, 01:03 PM
Ah should i tell you the italian situation?

We have a tatooed prostitute as premier and he has gave himself an economic stimolus!

In the immortal words of Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain."

EDIT: I doubt I will get one, year before last year I had about $1000 go into federal withholding, got $40 back. Considering I made waaaay under minimum wage (About $5000 dollers, but I was still in high-school.), this pisses me off. This amout ($1000) did not include social security or medicare taxes....

ARG!

SIMS SMASH!
Edited by Menhad, Jun 22 2010, 01:32 PM.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
T.O.
Jun 22 2010, 01:27 PM
Filo
Jun 22 2010, 01:03 PM
Ah should i tell you the italian situation?

We have a tatooed prostitute as premier and he has gave himself an economic stimolus!

In the immortal words of Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain."

EDIT: I doubt I will get one, year before last year I had about $1000 go into federal withholding, got $40 back. Considering I made waaaay under minimum wage (About $5000 dollers, but I was still in high-school.), this pisses me off. This amout ($1000) did not include social security or medicare taxes....

ARG!

SIMS SMASH!
That's what you get for being your parent's tax deduction. But, you gave them about a 2500 deduction, but lost the 1000 for yourself, so you should hirt them up for the $1000 (except they will point out the food you eat, the rent you don't pay, the electricity you use, the water bill, gas bill, etc, and you'll end up feeling like shit).
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Filo
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General
Seriously talking (so not talking about Berlusconi :D ) The problem is not the direct taxes, which in theory would be paid according to the census.
But the indirect ones, such as the Italian IVA, value added tax is a tax equal to all social classes there on all products.

Should be abolished because it is very unjust, changing the value of an asset than its real value.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Filo
Jun 22 2010, 04:33 PM
Seriously talking (so not talking about Berlusconi :D ) The problem is not the direct taxes, which in theory would be paid according to the census.
But the indirect ones, such as the Italian IVA, value added tax is a tax equal to all social classes there on all products.

Should be abolished because it is very unjust, changing the value of an asset than its real value.
All I can say, Filo, is "Please tell Obama!"
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Paradise
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Resident bureaucrat

New Harumf
Jun 22 2010, 11:59 AM
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.
Canada is the first oil supplier of the US...

Of course, on the behalf of Canadians, I thank the Americans for spending their economic stimulus payment in canadian products :D
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NRE
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman

I nor my parents got a stimulus check so I suppose I'll be going to the ballpark with my tattooed prostitute on my own dime.
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Comrade Queen
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Comrade Bitchqueen
Yep.
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flumes
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CLEVELAND ROCKS!
NRE
Jun 22 2010, 08:18 PM
I nor my parents got a stimulus check so I suppose I'll be going to the ballpark with my tattooed prostitute on my own dime.
I'll be joining you on my own dime.
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NRE
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman

flumes
Jun 22 2010, 09:09 PM
NRE
Jun 22 2010, 08:18 PM
I nor my parents got a stimulus check so I suppose I'll be going to the ballpark with my tattooed prostitute on my own dime.
I'll be joining you on my own dime.
:lol: I'll save you a seat!
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Two seats! Prostitute, remember?
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

New Harumf
Jun 23 2010, 09:18 AM
Two seats! Prostitute, remember?
They don't need seats.
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NRE
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman

Nag Ehgoeg
Jun 23 2010, 11:43 AM
New Harumf
Jun 23 2010, 09:18 AM
Two seats! Prostitute, remember?
They don't need seats.
exactly, what do you think our laps are for ;)
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
NRE
Jun 23 2010, 12:41 PM
Nag Ehgoeg
Jun 23 2010, 11:43 AM
New Harumf
Jun 23 2010, 09:18 AM
Two seats! Prostitute, remember?
They don't need seats.
exactly, what do you think our laps are for ;)
Dances????
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Holy Catholic Imperium
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Turd Burgalur
 *  *  *  *  *  *
Do Canadians get an economic stimulus?
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Paradise
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Resident bureaucrat

Yeah, it's called "Canada's economic action plan".

Although, it's very small relatively to the US one.
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Hastine
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Universi enim hic sumus.
 *  *  *  *  *  *
New Harumf
Jun 23 2010, 12:47 PM
NRE
Jun 23 2010, 12:41 PM
Nag Ehgoeg
Jun 23 2010, 11:43 AM
New Harumf
Jun 23 2010, 09:18 AM
Two seats! Prostitute, remember?
They don't need seats.
exactly, what do you think our laps are for ;)
Dances????
From the moment this thread title was posted, it had the potential to become sexual.
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