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Yellow Submarine
Topic Started: Jan 23 2009, 04:47 PM (362 Views)
East Anarx
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Anarchitect

Somewhere in the Caribbean, a shining, golden submarine emerges from the watery depths and sails across the horizon. A black flag, emblazoned with a golden apple, flaps in the wind. As the submarine comes to rest in a shallow lagoon off the coast of some unnamed island, Hagbard Celine climbs up on deck for a smoke. He stands nude, unashamed, triumphant, and takes a long draw from his octopus-shaped glass pipe.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Thomas Morehead was on watch. He was just a cabin boy of some fifteen years, but occasionally he would relieve the normal watch so they could rest their eyes. He had a spyglass to his eye and was scanning the coastal area of some small tropical atoll when he spotted something. At first he took the glass away from his eye and rubbed it, not sure if he actually saw anything, but there is was again! A small red glow, flashing for a second or two, and then going out.

He quickly grabbed the speaking tube and said, "Alert. A light off of the starboard bow!"

Within seconds the regular watchman came topside and grabbed the glass. "Where?" asked the gruff pirate.

"There," pointed Thomas, "just in the lagoon in that atoll. A faint light."

"I don't see . . . . ", began the pirate, then, "ahh, I saw it! Sharp eyes, me hearty. Someone above deck, I would say, smokin a pipe in the warm breeze. Boy, run, get the King, he will want to investigate."

Thomas ran off toward the Anaconda's quarters. As he reached the stairs he heard the faint sound of the engines slow, and felt the slow turn toward starboard. Ole Patch McMichaels wasn't waiting for the King's orders. He was closing in on the position. Thomas knocked on the cabin door, but before it was answered, he saw the rush of the entire crew toward their battle stations, silent as cats, effecient as always. Ole Patch wasn't taking any chances. Then the door opened, and out stepped The Anaconda, already in full uniform. He patted Thomas on the head, and said, "Good job, Morehead. Good eyes." Let's see what riches you have found for us!"
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East Anarx
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Hagbard finished smoking and put his pipe away. He stretched and yawned like a happy cat and then spent untold moments just gazing up at the star-filled night sky, contemplating infinity.
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
The armored cruiser The Anaconda, cut engines at 500 yeards, and allowed itself to slide another 200 yards closer to the banana-colored strange vessel before dropping anchor. The King, The Anaconda, looked dismayed at the sight before him. "Some sort of underwater boat, but it can't go below the surface in this shallow lagoon. Lower the boarding boats."

With that, the silent crew worked furiously to get the six boarding boats loaded and into the water. The men, armed with revolvers, rifles and cutlass positioned themselves stelthily halfway between the cruiser and the sub, poised and ready.

"Fire across their bow!" commanded The Anaconda. "He turned to his faithful cabin boy, Thomas, more like a son than a mate, and whispered, "we'll wake 'em up, and see if they'll fight or surrender." At that moment, the two forward turrents turned and the two big guns fired high across the submarine's forward end. The "boom" was earth-shattering from the cruiser's deck, and the concussion that followed as the shells slammed into the coral on the other side of the sub almost knocked them off their feet! Before any sign of life could be seen the men on the boarding boats already had their grappling hooks fastened to the small tower of the yellow sub, and were beginning to climb onto the narrow deck. If any sailors tried to resist, they would cut them down.

"Yield or die," came the voice of The Anaconda through his speaking horn, a familiar call to all the crew. Everyone waited tensely for the reply.
Edited by New Harumf, Jan 24 2009, 02:06 PM.
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East Anarx
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"What in Eris' name was that!?" Hagbard could see ropes fastened to the conning tower, and men climbing them. He reached for his gun, and remembered he was naked. A head popped up from the hatch and said, "What's going on?"

"Get down! Get back inside!" cried Hagbard as he scrambled toward the hatch. The head disappeared and Hagbard dove in after it, just dodging a shot from one of the pirates. "Defensive positions! We're under attack!" Hagbard commanded, now inside the sub.

"The Illuminati!?" some sailor asked.

"Oh, Eris help us!" cried another.

"Shut up and get ready to fight, you fools!" Hagbard said, still nude but now holding a sword in one hand and a smoke bomb in the other. The footsteps clanking on the roof were getting nearer. The crew of the Leif Ericson was still scrambling to arm themselves when Hagbard tossed the smoke bomb just up and out of the hatch, where it landed right in front of the advancing pirates. Eerie green smoke burst forth from both ends of the little cylinder. Soon, a green cloud encompassed the entire deck, and filled the lungs of the invading pirates with a hallucinogenic compound extracted from peyote and psilocybe mushrooms.
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New Harumf
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At first, the green cloud confused Duffy, a common seaman and one of the first to get on the deck of the sub, but his blood was up, and he was on an adreneline high, so he charged toward the conning tower, revolver in his left hand and cutlass in his right. Just as he reached the tower he heard a voice from behind.

"Damn, this smoke is foul!"

Duffy turned to look for a mate, only to see a lizzard-headed potted palm climbing up a rope onto the deck. His eyes widened, and then he felt rage! "There be monsters here! This be a haunted island."

Rooney, another of the boarding party, was just getting up on the deck when he stared hard, rubbed his eyes, and saw a demon with horns at the conning tower, with a trident in his right hand and a rose dripping blood in his right. The demon seemed to speak to him, then pointed the rose toward him as if to say, "here, smell it." Rooney leaned in with his nose, took a sniff, and imediately took a .44 slug into his brain, dieing instantly and falling into the water.

Back on the Anaconda, Thomas was watching the activity through the glass, aside The Anaconda, who also had a glass at his eye. "What are they doing?" puzzled Thomas. "They're shooting each other."

"There is something wrong," said The Anaconda. "Recall the boarding parties."

Thomas began ringing the bell, three short rings, followed by a pause, then two more short rings. The one boat not in the green cloud started turning, and returning toward the cruiser, but the other five were either already boarding, or pulling along the devil sub. Thomas moved the spy glass to look at the fourth boat, just now starting to climb their lines. Two sailors, not even half-way up on the sub began hacking wildly at each other with their cutlasses. One lost an arm, and his hold on the rope, but managed to cut the rope of the other, and both fell into the water. Thomas could hear their screams, "I'm on fire! It burns!" before bullets from the deck blasted them silent. It was a massacre, and in a few short minutes almost every member of the five boarding ships were dead. Slowly, the green cloud drifted away in the light breeze, away from both ships, revealing the total carnage in the water and on the deck.

As the only returning boat reached the cruiser, and it's men started climbing back on board, the yellow sub started it's engines, and was turning to come directly toward the Anaconda. The King started shouting to his men, "Prepared to be boarded men, they are coming for us. Every man-jack to arms! To arms!" He looked at Thomas, suddenly seeing how young the child was. "Better go get yourself a cutlass and a gun boy, and be prepared to use them."

"Yes, sir!" said Thomas, and he ran toward the armory below deck.

The Anaconda scanned his men, now all armed and assembled on deck. He has started with a crew of 350 men. Now, he could barely count 70, and that included cooks, firemen, stoffers and officers.

"This be some sort of Devil work, by God," thought The Anaconda. Then, to the men, "We fight to the death, men. Take no quarter. Whoever these Devils be, they will not take my ship!."
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East Anarx
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Twenty-three men and women were now on the deck of the Leif Ericson, firing shots at the enemy while the sub itself churned towards them. Just as it seemed the sub would crash head-on into the Anaconda, it slowed to a stop, and the men and women from Hagbard's submarine swarmed down onto the enemy amidst a battle cry of "For Eris! For the Glory of Discordia!"

Of the twenty-three Discordians, seventeen fell, before they managed to either kill or subdue all the enemy pirates. Despite being outnumbered, those twenty-three were disciples of Eris, and so knew that the battle would follow the law of fives. The Anaconda himself, and the boy at his side, were the only ones left alive and armed.

Hagbard joined the remnants of his crew, now clothed, and now holding his second favorite sword.

"The boy is coming with me."
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"You'll never take the boy," was all the Anaconda said. With that, he threw down his pistol and drew his cutlass, made from the finest watered steel in all of Asia.

Everyone, pirates on both sides, knew what this meant, and they all stepped back. A challenge, from one captain to the other, on the deck of a ship. This was a tradition as old as the sea, and no one would interfere. The Anaconda, well beyond his youth, but strong and powerful, and sober and imune to the mushroom gas, as a result of years in ports where such recreation was considered passe, was faced off against Hagbard, young, strong, but possibly intoxicated with an evening's worth of drugs.

Although the "Anaconda" crew now outnumbered the crew of the "Leif Ericson" it didn't matter. Who ever won this duel would be the victor. All new. All agreed.

The Anaconda circled right around Hagbard, being left-handed, he kept his sword-hand to his foe. They circled, Hagbard trying to reverse the circle to his advantage, but he could not, so he knew he would have to try to attack under The Anaconda's thrust. Just as Hagbard tried to reverse to his left, the Anacnda made an advance, then a thrust, and cut Hagbard on his thigh. The Anaconda tried to follow with a lunge, but found Hagbard's quick parry blocking, and knocking down his attempt. The Anaconda retreated on step, and faced his opponent, and began circling again.
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Oblivious to the bleeding cut on his thigh, (whether from adrenaline or some other drug,) the Discordian captain took a step back, tossed his sword up into the air, caught it with his left, and all part of the same motion, swung low at his opponent. The Anaconda jumped, barely dodging the blade. His quick reflexes had prevented him from losing a leg, but the sudden change had caught him off guard, and it showed on his face. Suddenly, Hagbard laughed; a great, booming guffaw. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he easily parried the next two attacks by the Anaconda before continuing to circle.
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
The Anaconda was left-handed, and already knew the advantage that gave him, even against another left-hander, but now his advantage has been neutralized! An ambidexterous fighter? Unheard of.

Now, The Anaconda was retreating as this madman charged with a flurry of thrusts and parries. He felt young Thomas backing up behind him, but every time he thought he saw an opening into Hagbard's defences it was quickly filled with an advancing thrust. The conditioning of this pirate was supurb as well, not losing any of his initial speed.

Suddenly, a thrust low from Hagbard, followed imediately by a lunge toward the left shoulder, and another, with no advancing step, toward his mid-section, and another toward his face, brought The Anaconda's blade too high, and the quick-as-lightening Hagbard was imediately under his steel, giving a hard beat upward, almost driving the blade from The Anaconda's grip. Hagbard finished off the move with a high-to-low thrust, and the Anaconda only managed to turn enough to not take the full hit to his vital organs. Instead he received a nice slash to his side, and from the amount of blood, it was pretty deep. Thomas screamed, seeing his King cut so badly, and fell to his knees.

Now, The Anaconda was backed up to the rail of the ship, with nowhere to retreat. Hagbard attempted a slashing top-to-bottom blow, trying to cut the King from head to groin, but at the perfect moment, the King spun, not even attempting to block the cut, and stepped around to Hagbard's left, around his sword arm. The pirate's blow was too fast and too hard, and not hitting steel brought his edge right into the rail's wood . For only half a second his cutlass was stuck in the wood, but in the time it took him to yank it out The Anaconda was able to slash Hagbard's right shoulder blade.

Now, Thomas was down on the deck, watching both men circle. "What does this evil man want with me?" thought Thomas. "Why me? He doesn't even know who I am?"

Suddenly, Hagbard, who was closest to Thomas, reached out and grabbed the frightened boy, yanking him to his feet. He threw Thomas accross the deck toward his men and said, "Hang on to him, men. I don't want him getting hurt between us."

"Damn you!" shouted The Anaconda. "You will not get the boy, I will see to it." With that the King began a long and complicated series of lunges, so extended were they that several times all Hagbard could do was fend them to the side. On the last lunge, Hagbard tried to beat the Anaconda's blade to his left, but at the last minute, the cutlass went limp in the Anaconda's hand, allowing Hagbard's perry to miss, and as the King brought the cutlass back he sliced deep into Hagbad's left ankle, just missing the Achille's tendon.

Now, the Anaconda was breathing heavy. That last assault had spent every bit of stored energy he had saved, and Hagbard knew it. "Now", he thought to himself, "to play cat and mouse, or just go for the kill?"
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East Anarx
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The pain was starting to set in, but Hagbard gave one more mighty upward thrust, knocking the Anaconda's sword out of his grasp. His opponent now disarmed, Hagbard leveled his sword to the man's throat and asked, "Any last words, snake?"
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Thomas broke free and ran to the downed Anaconda. "No!", he screamed, and threw himself over the King to protect him.

The Anaconda pushed the boy away, slowly, and looked him in the eyes, and then spoke to Hagbard, "Here, take the boy. If he stays here my crew will just rape and kill him. They have been jealous of his special place in my confidence, and will do him most foul." Then, the Anaconda pushed Thomas completely away from him.

Thomas was crying, and kept saying, "no. no. . . . " over and over. What no one had seen was the boy slipping a loaded revolver into the Anaconda's left hand. Several of the crew grabbed Thomas, and Hagbard came forward, sword prone to strike.

"You have talked enough, Anaconda. Prepare to die," said Hagbard.

As Hagbard raised his sword, The Anaconda pulled out the revolver and aimed it at the victorious pirate's face. Everyone inhaled, and then all was quiet. "You must learn how to be a gentleman, Thomas. I have lost. Been bested. My time here is over. Giving me this revolver was a noble jesture, but if I use it, then I am a scoundrel. Learn your lesson well, boy." With that, he dropped the revolver on the floor in front of him, and tore open his shirt. "My heart is open to you. Make it quick."

Without a word, Hagbard plunged his cutlass into the Anaconda's heart. He then turned quickly to his crew, "Take all the spoils you can, and the healthy seamen who will be loyal to us. Take the boy below and place him in my cabin."

"I'll kill you," shouted Thomas.

Hagbard ignored him. "Any crewmen here unfit to serve or unwilling, kill them."
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