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| Advice; 'cuz I need it. | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 11 2009, 09:21 PM (200 Views) | |
| A.Q. | Jan 11 2009, 09:21 PM Post #1 |
Beautiful Snowflake
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Alright, I need the think tank on this one. I've got no idea what I wanna do with my life, but maybe two months to decide it in. BACKGROUND: I'm 17, a senior in high school. I've always loved music, I'm a multi-instramentalist and good with theory. I've got some other knowledge I've picked up from odd jobs, like cooking and basic mechanics. I'm Bipolar and take meds (Aderall XR and Abilify), but mood swings still occur pretty commonly. I'm likable enough, young and strong. I was born in raised in Southeast Virginia all my life, specifically Chesapeake, a middle-class, racially diverse suburb where everybody was in the military at some point, and all my classmates are going to college. My parents can't stand each other, argue incessantly -with me caught in the middle, and have done so for years, but the idea of 'divorce' has never been brought up. THE CURRENT CRISIS: In the past few months, Senioritis has set in in a big way. My grades, which have never been stellar, have recently taken a nose dive. My sister's wedding was beautiful and I wouldn't take it away for anything, but the school does not recognize it as an excused absence, so there's a week of school gone. My Bipolar Disorder has grown worse as of late, and my brother, who also suffers from the disease and is knowledgeable about mental health issues, thinks that my abilify is no longer working, despite the shrink-advised higher dosage. I've had to leave school crying several times this semester crying, which is technically skipping school. I also suffer from occasional migraine headaches which occur for no explicable reason about once every two weeks. My absences total to about 10-15 days for each of my five classes, which is past the limit at which I can pass the class. The school is also accusing me of truancy, but I probably won't get charged (by the time it goes on the books, I turn 18 and it disappears). I learned over winter break that my parents were planning to divorce, even saving up a divorce account in the bank, when I was conceived (don't ask me how, I wasn't there). They decided to keep me and stay together, despite not loving each other any more. Neither my Mom or Dad are going to get involved in my grades or homework. My brother is a recently-graduated grad student from Mills College in Oakland, for a strange cocktail of music and psychology. He has offered me a place to live, after I move out. I love him to death. My grandmother, down in NC, has dementia and is barely cognizant. I learned tonight that she has pancreatic cancer and is probably going to die soon. With all of my home troubles, I've missed most of college-recruiting season. My grades probably aren't good enough to get in to anywhere I'd like to go anyway. I don't think I'm ready for college, if my "lackluster" performance in high school is any evidence. In Chesapeake, I was introduced to a patient of my Dad's named Mr. Berry. Mr. Berry is a retired computer technician from the 50's and 60's, and now spends his days building dulcimers. Over the summer, with his guidance, I built one of my own, and began to build another, until the school year gobbled up all of my time. It was a hobby I enjoyed, and I look forward to continuing it. On that thread, my current plans are to survive and graduate high school, build some more instruments under his tutelage, perhaps get myself certified as a luthier, and go from there. In a few years, I may return to college, or seek further training at a luthier school. Can I prostrate myself before this forum for advice on what I should do with my life? |
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| flumes | Jan 11 2009, 09:37 PM Post #2 |
CLEVELAND ROCKS!
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I really don't feel like I know enough (not about your situation, just what you should do) to give you any meaningful advice. I will say that if you don't go to college now, I would put the odds of you ever going as pretty low. That is a thought to consider, all I have for you really. |
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| Paradise | Jan 11 2009, 09:38 PM Post #3 |
Resident bureaucrat
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Hmm, I do not know too much the bipolarity disorder. If building dulcimers pays off in the long run, go for it. If you see that Mr. Berry has a hard time paying bills, then maybe this is not such a good idea. Anyway, I don't think this is the right time to start working. The recession seems to have hit you pretty bad down there. In these circumstances, I would rather advise to keep studying. And you know, you don't have to study in college, there plenty of fields you can study in and that won't even look to your grades.. If you like working with wood, then you could become a woodworker. |
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| Rhadamanthus | Jan 11 2009, 11:50 PM Post #4 |
Legitimist
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Study Byzantine history. |
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| Ulgania | Jan 12 2009, 12:10 AM Post #5 |
A better Zarathustra has never rode a horse
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From talking to you pretty much every time I see you online, and from your RP posts you seem like you're fully capable of getting through high school. My grades weren't great when I was 17 (19 now haha) but your RP style is much more enhanced than my own two years ago. While it seems like it's rather unlikely, taking a semester off after high school could be a great thing. Getting your life in order, straightening out whatever you need to straighten out could become a priority. A semester at a CC is by know means a negative thing (I don't get the general stigma around CCs... it's still an education and they are college classes), followed by transferring to a state or private school isn't out of the question. That's the nifty thing, it's never out of the question. And for what it's worth, most of my high school career was spent playing music and learning theory on a few different instruments. Everyone wanted me to do music, but I chose political science. I think (corny as it sounds) nationstates piqued my interest in the field of study |
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| Tristan da Cunha | Jan 12 2009, 01:34 AM Post #6 |
Science and Industry
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I think Paradise has sensible advice. If you master woodworking, you'll have a useful, practical skill, and it's great that you have an affinity for woodworking it since it's unfortunate many people look at their jobs like a ball and chain on their leg. However I don't believe this recession is a normal recession, and I think it is the mother of all recessions, and one which will last for years and years. Be mentally prepared for an exceedingly competitive job environment in any field you enter. |
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| New Harumf | Jan 12 2009, 10:23 AM Post #7 |
Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Let's look at your "opportunities" one at a time (I'd call them problems, but I am at work, and we never call things problems at work), and put them in perspective: 1. Your school is messing with you because of a disability. Solution (and I am dead serious here) - you are considered disabled by every definition the government has. Call today the American Civil Liberties Union, or the Federal Office for People with Disabilities, and have one of these organizations refer you to a free lawyer, and threaten to sue the shit out of your school district for NOT accomodating you because of your disability. Two things will happen if this is done right. One, they will see to it you get the grades and credits to get you out of their school because school districts are as desperate for money as everybody else and can't afford law suits. Two, You might win monetary damages, which could help with the other problems. 2. Your parents are divorcing. Welcome to the club, bub. Everybody's 'rents are divorcing. Tell them you love them both, and stay out of the middle. 3. Your bipolar problem. If your current crop of doctors aren't helping you, get new doctors. The area of Virginia you live in is surrounded by some of the best medical schools and facilities in the country. Don't put all your trust in one quack. 4. What next? I built my own dulcimer (tear drop, nice). Hone that craft, and if you love music, hell, take that in college. Most music programs I know of (like U. of Michigan) you get into through auditions anyway, not grades. Even if you take classes at the local J.C. pick one with a grand music department. Then, keep building instruments! Go on to guitars, Violins, Harps, Harpsicords, etc! People that craft fine instruments can certainly make a living. Musicians can make a living. Bipolar people can make a living. 5. Living situation. Finish high school, move in with bro, and go to school. BTW, I had very crappy grades in High School (2.45 GPA), but did well on the ACT (combined 28), got into the college of my choice, got scholarships, went all the way to a Master's Degree. It can be done. Good luck, and never be afraid to air things out here. |
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| lebowski2123 | Jan 12 2009, 02:44 PM Post #8 |
Resident?
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Isn't the dulcimer industry impervious to economic slowdown? I thought that was considered a staple industry, like food processing or playing card manufacturers... |
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| flumes | Jan 12 2009, 03:00 PM Post #9 |
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CLEVELAND ROCKS!
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Harumf sounds about dead on IMO. Honestly, after reading through your whole post, the thing the most surprising to me was the whole school thing... That is ridiculous. If you call the right people you can get some help there, at the least... Schools are scared as sh*t of lawsuits these days and you have a very legitimate claim. My guess is that them just getting one call from a lawyer will be enough for them to warm up to you. Never need to step foot into the courthouse unless you want to of course. I also fall into the crap grades in HS group. 2.1 GPA albeit at a crazy good public high school. 27 ACT... If you do alright with the standardized tests you can go to plenty of nice schools... Honestly, you sound intelligent enough from the way you write that I don't think this will be a problem with some work. I pulled a 2.9 my first quarter of college and I expect myself to do better this quarter. If your into music, go for that. |
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| Paradise | Jan 12 2009, 04:06 PM Post #10 |
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Resident bureaucrat
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Hum, I don't think any musical instrument is impervious to economic slowdown... |
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| Porcu | Jan 12 2009, 04:11 PM Post #11 |
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
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Where do you attend college? |
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| flumes | Jan 12 2009, 05:18 PM Post #12 |
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CLEVELAND ROCKS!
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Ohio University (Athens, Ohio).... Known for our crazy parties (Halloween especially) and our journalism school. Pretty good school all-around academically. |
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| New Harumf | Jan 12 2009, 05:34 PM Post #13 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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It's the "other" school in Ohio!!!! :) Just like the "other" Miami in Ohio! :lol: |
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| A.Q. | Jan 14 2009, 06:56 AM Post #14 |
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Beautiful Snowflake
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Alright, thanks guys. I need to think everything over. A lot. |
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| A.Q. | Jan 17 2009, 12:21 PM Post #15 |
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Beautiful Snowflake
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UPDATE: I've calmed down a little now, still wanna take a year off before I go to college. I talked to my shrink yesterday, and, with her advice, I'm going to pay one of my friends to tutor me through this last semester. Also, she started me on Lamictal. My dad was kind enough (as a dermatologist) to explain to me the risk that my skin might fall off. |
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| New Harumf | Jan 17 2009, 02:39 PM Post #16 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Well, be sure to get pictures if it happens! :shy: Taking time off is a good idea, and getting a tutor is a good idea too. I still think you should at least have a lawyer call your school and scare the bejesus out of them! |
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| A.Q. | Jan 20 2009, 10:56 PM Post #17 |
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Beautiful Snowflake
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I might be sorta missing for a couple of days while I sort some stuff out. |
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| Ulgania | Jan 20 2009, 11:19 PM Post #18 |
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A better Zarathustra has never rode a horse
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It's understandable. Hope to see you online here and on AIM soon man! Go do what you need to! |
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| A.Q. | Jan 25 2009, 11:31 PM Post #19 |
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Beautiful Snowflake
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Alright, I'm gonna say I'm back. Exams went well, all's good on me new meds, still got all my skin, things are looking okay, short-term. |
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| New Harumf | Jan 26 2009, 09:40 AM Post #20 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Oh, damn! I really wanted to see pictures of your skin melting off. ;) |
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