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Another daring caper
Topic Started: Jan 4 2008, 01:54 PM (286 Views)
New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Upon hearing of Esternarx's run-in with the law in Texas, I decided it was time to get the NS task force together, if for nothing else, than to have a dry run in case we actually had to spring E from a Texas Jail.

I went to contact my original partners on the Tower of London heist, CE and Nag, however it turned out, first, that CE was occupied with other things,

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and was unavailable.

Unfortunately, Nag was busy doing his internship with his x-ray skills at Heathrow:

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Aware that things might get hot, I decided to recruit two others to join me, travel to Texas, and pull off a test caper. Our target, the Alamo. My new partners in crime, Scythirus and Paradise.

I contacted them both, told them to find appropriate disguises, and meet me in San Antonio in 48 hours.

To be continued
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

I'm disappointed that you couldn't take twenty seconds to put "x-ray specs" into google and come up with something sexual.
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Here was my original choice:

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Draxis
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Captain
Awwww... I was hoping this would continue.

though thank god I'm not in it... :lol:
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Draxis
Jan 9 2008, 02:03 PM
Awwww... I was hoping this would continue.

though thank god I'm not in it... :lol:

It WILL continue. I just need some time!
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Assassin
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Field Marshal
Can I be the crazy guy? YOU NEED A CRAZY GUY! :gnarkgnark:
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
We decided that we best not meet in San Antonio as it may alert authorities to our plot, therefore, on the advise of Paradise, we agreed to meet just south of the Rio Grande, in Mexico. Nuevo Loredo would be our starting point, and from there we would cross the Rio Grande at night to avoid detection, and move North to San Antonio. I had arranged for transportation on the other side of the river, and arrived first.

Not wanting to call attention to myself as a Yankee, I chose my disguise carefully, as I had advised the others to do. I fugured the safest and most inconspicuous outfit would be to dress as a cowboy:

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I found a comfortable bar, ordered a frozen margarita (strawberry) with an umbrella, and waited for the others.

I didn't have to wait long. In through the saloon doors walked a cow. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was a very clever disguise. The cow walked up to me and took the place at the bar next to me:

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It was, of course, Paradise.

"Nice disguise!" I suggested.

"Thanks," said Paradise.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is the back half?"

"It's me!" came a voice from the rear of the cow. "It's me, AA! I couldn't resist. Paradise messaged and said he needed a partner, so I drove down and we hooked up. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," said I, to the cow's backside. "The more the marrier." With that, Paradise ordered a Lebats, and AA ordered a large pitcher of draft Corona, three shots of taquilla, five shots of vodka, a bottle of Jack, and a B52 shot.

Again, we had nothing left to do but drink and wait for Scy. After our third round (for the third round AA ordered a pitcher of Corona Light "I'm trying to cut back" he said) a band came out with some instruments and began to play:

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Then, a lovely senoritta came out to entertain us with her wonderful voice. While she was singing Paradise nudged me, and said, through his cow head, "Look. That singer, is it.........?"

I looked closer. "Why, yes! It's Scythirus!" :

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So there we were, all assembled in Nuevo Loredo, and ready for the next great Nationstates caper!
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Alberto
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Resident Italian
You should have called me ! You need a noisy, bastard cinical italian to distract other people while you make dirty things ! :)
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
It was time to cross the river. The four of us headed down to the waterfront where I had a boat waiting. Not wanting to take any chances, I chartered a boat of sufficient size as to be safe for the crossing:

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Also, the be on the safe side, I asked another Nationstater to pilot the boat. Kiensland kindly agreed to pilot us across the river, and he was cleaverly disguised as a local redneck:

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We all climed aboard, and Kiensland said, "Th ba na ned ta mo de boot! Ye kin jes wak cross!"

Paradise looked at him, then looked at me, and asked, "Qu'est-ce qu'a-t-il dit ?"

I looked a Paradise, then looked at Scythirus, and asked, "What are they saying?"

Scythirus looked at AA, who shrugged, and then slapped Kiensland, "Speak English you bastard!"

"I is spikn 'lish, ya bloody b'strd! I sad, Th ba na ned ta mo de boot! Ye kin jes wak cross."

Again, Paradise looked confused, but then a light went off over his head and he said, "L'eau est trop peu profonde pour nous pour naviguer. Le navire est trop grand et traverse le fleuve. Nous pouvons marcher à travers le bateau."

I looked at Scythirus, who looked at AA. Scythirus approached Paradise, then slapped Kiensland again, then asked Paradise, "In English you damn Canadian!"

"Oo, sorree!" said Paradise, "I sayed, the boot is too big, it stretches accross the shallow river already, we can simply prominade on the deck to the other side!"

"At's wh'i sed, ya batty poofs," said Kiensland, rubbing his red face. So, we simply strolled accross on the deck of my chartered boat, which was, after all, stuck in the shallow water, and touching both shores. In a matter of moments we had snuck successfully into Loredo proper, and were prepared for the next step of our journey. We waived good by to Kiensland, who told us we were number one in his mind by raising one finger in a salute to us, and went to find our transportation.
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Draxis
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:lol: :lol:

I'm loving this, I take back what I said about being glad I was not in it, now I want in... :lol:
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lebowski2123
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Resident?
Indeed, so far so good.
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
After crossing the Rio Grande, we located the transportation I hired to take us to San Antonio. Considering it was a trek through the Rio Grande Valley, I didn't want to draw attention to us, and it had to be sturdy enough to bring the Alamo back:

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So we took turns driving, however, the large portion of the driving was done by AA and Paradise. I must admit, I was a little too tired to drive myself, and Scy just didn't look right behind the harness. So those two really helped get us through:

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As twilight fell, it was obvious we weren't going to make the trip in one day, so, luckily, Paradise spotted a campsite for us with quiet neighbors:

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Just as we arrived, who should show up to welcome us to Texas, but Esternarx, dressed perfectly for a camping trip:

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and he was accompanied by some of his friends from Austin:

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They were in the mood to party, and opened up the trunk of their car and pulled out some fireworks. They had quarter-sticks of dynomite, and a bag of M-80's, and I must admit, they put on quite a show for a while.

That's when AA got up, and was just so thrilled, he decided to entertain us with a little dance:

AA's Dance

Then, Paradise decided to put on a little show of the famous French art of Mime:

Paradise's Show

That was enough for me, so E and his friends took off back to Austin, while the rest of us bedded down for the night. Tomorrow would be a long day.
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Pascoag
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 *  *  *  *  *
HAHAHA I actually dance like AA there.
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East Anarx
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Anarchitect

I'm digging this story so far. I'm definitely saving this when it's done.
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NRE
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman

Hey that redneck was my cousin B.... oh nevermind :lol: :P I love these stories :wub:
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
We woke up the following morning to discover Scythirus was planning to surprise us with a good, hearty breakfast before we got back on the road. He was out forraging for food:

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When he gathered enough he came back to camp and prepared us the most tasty breakfast ever.

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After the breakfast, it became time to get back on the road. We struck camp in record time and were moving toward San Antonio within the hour. I was driving first shift, and we were making excellent time.

Unknown to us, three of our southern Nationstates boys had decided to travel west and hook up with us outside of San Antonio to wish us luck. Pascoag, Menhad, and NRE were traveling as quick as they could, but someone was deturmined to prevent them from meeting with us.

The Southern Boys' trip

If we had known, he would have rushed to their aid. As it was, all we could do was push on. Suddenly, up in the distance, we spotted our destination -
Posted Image
The Alamo.
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Quaon
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A Prince Amoung Men-Shoot First and Ask Questions Later
lol, I want in!
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
We pulled the wagon into the street in front of the Alamo and started unloading. To make sure we wouldn't be disturbed, he put up signs at both roads entering Alamo Square:

Alamo Closed for Repairs
Detour


Then, I handed AA the concrete saw, so he could start dismantling the Alamo. He worked quickly, and we all began to load up the pieces. I used a wheelbarrow:

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Every once in a while, we'd hear an, "Oh, shit!" from AA, followed by an, "It's OK. I'm all right." But when I went to load up the next pieces, I found:

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Of course, Paradise, being young, had to show off when he was loading the huge stones falling from AA's cuts:

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On his next trip back to get anouther piece, he heard, "Damn!", followed by, "It's OK, just a flesh wound." However, he found:

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Scythirus pulled his own too, loading quicker and faster than any of us:

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but on one of his trips for stone, he heard, "Now that hurt!", followed by, "I'll live, don't worry, just keep loading!" He found:

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We took a break around noon, and managed to bandage up a couple of other cuts on AA:

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After that the work went fast, and by sundown, we had totally loaded the Alamo into our wagon, in pieces, so we could assemble it later. We started packing up our equipment, and I asked, "Now, where has AA gone?"

Paradise hollered, "Over here," and we came running. There was AA all right, lying down on the job:

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I said, "Well, don't just stand there, let's load him on the wagon, and get out of here!"

When we had AA safely in the wagon, we took down the road-signs and started our long drive north, where we would re-assemble the Alamo in Montreal.

We still had a long way to go!
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
The road ahead was long, but clear, and the wagon was full:

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However, when news got out about the theft of the Alamo, a posse was formed to chase down us thieves:

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Also, the San Antonio police department was in hot pursuit:

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But what really concerned us, what we knew would be our biggest threat, was the Texas Rangers. They sent out a group of Rangers:

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Then more Rangers:

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and more Rangers:

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And if that was not enough, even some of the locals were out to capture us themselves:

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But then a miracle occurred. Our good friend Esternarx and his group of merry men thought they could create a distraction with their fireworks, to take the heat off of us, so, miles off our path, the boys went to work, and definately distracted our pursuors:

E's distraction

Thanks to the boys, we were able to cross into Oklahoma, and make our way north.
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
With the help of E's distractions, we were able to safely avoid some of the most notorious folks in Dallas:

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Arkansas:

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Tennessee:

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Chicago:

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And Michigan:

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to finally cross under the Detroit River into Windsor, Canada. Once there, it was a breeze to get to Montrael, where the Alamo now stands, to this day.

The End
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Draxis
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Its over? Awwwwww...

I was hoping for more!

Like deranged Quebecois trying to stop you from placing a large shrine to non-franco society in their midst. Damn!
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