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I hate my penis
Topic Started: Jun 5 2006, 07:19 AM (342 Views)
Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

No seriously.

Ok I find myself in a good and loving relationship... and I can't help but lust after a lot of other people! :angry:

I am not amused.

One of the girls on my uni course... she's such a bitch. I really dislike her... but she has that undefinable "queen bitch" quality - best illistrated by the fact she gets an older woman in our class to massage her after every "taxing" lesson. Definately the "chav" kinda girl that the popular kids go for.

The second girl on my course... well there's a lot of potential between her and some of the other people on my course (and she's firmly stuck in orbit of Queen Bitch above). But she has just about every quality I'm attracted to (unlike Queen Bitch)! If she was a guy, I'd still want her - which bugs me because I wouldn't be attracted to my girlfriend if she was a guy.

Then there's this one guy on my IPL course... he's just so... ! He's definately not my normal type - but he's sporty and rugged without being an obnoxious cock so what's not to like?

All of the above, I can dismiss as unimportant - these are people I see everyday compared to my girlfriend who has exams and I miss. But the thing that gets me is that there's an unobtainable girl who lives half the country away who... she just drives me wild! Unfortunately as well as living far away she's also underage (bad Andy). She's like the perfect innocent Lolita. While I can dismiss the others as "I'm just looking because they're there" I can't really use that here. My only real difference is that I like her for the exact same reasons as I like my girlfriend. I don't even like her more than my girlfriend... but the only trouble is that she's (ironically) more accessable to me - and I talk to her more than I am talking to my girlfriend (because she has exams).

If that's not enough, I'm starting to get really horny really easily. It's almost as bad as being 14 again. I won't gross you guys out with details but lets just say I really miss seeing my girlfriend!

ARGH! I hate my sex drive!

Ok sorry about that, just had to vent...
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Kiensland
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Apathetic Lizardman
 *  *  *  *  *
I hate your penis too.

But hey. You're not the one with half a gig of *chan-worthy material.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Kiensland
Jun 5 2006, 07:44 AM
I hate your penis too.

But hey. You're not the one with half a gig of *chan-worthy material.

I don't know your penis well enough to have an opinion.......

However, this is why CE is wrong about masturbation being a bad thing: The mind is the most powerful sex organ, and, to be honest, some of the best sex I have had has been through masturbation, generally with others. Also, as Nag has demonstrated, you can do it any where, and any time. So, if you need to clear your mind for other things, it is a wonderful way to accomplish that. So, Nag, keep on keeping on. Eventually your lady's finals will be over and you can get back to normal (whatever "normal" is for you, however, we can only guess).

Also, remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Stick with what you got, keep your faraway friend a secret, and all will be well.
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

I just spent the last hour in a lecture looking down my friend's top! :angry: :angry: :angry:

I was sure we where in the "friend zone", but I couldn't stop looking at her because she's changed her hair and it now looks exactly like my girlfriends! And we where wearing matching outfits (colour scheme wise). And she just kept showing off her (rather pretty) chest.

She was wearing a vest top which didn't leave too much to the imagination. That was bad enough, but she kept leaning over damn it!

That was uncalled for!

To stop myself staring I started thinking about Michael Shanks (why are all the pretty boys straight?) which then lead me into thinking of thinking of my girlfriend (she doesn't like Stargate... it made sense at the time). Needless to say, thinking of what is probably the most attractive girl and (second) most attractive guy to me didn't do much to turn me off.

Fortunately, this forum is anything but a turn on! :D

New Harumf
Jun 5 2006, 09:34 AM
Kiensland
Jun 5 2006, 07:44 AM
I hate your penis too.

But hey. You're not the one with half a gig of *chan-worthy material.

I don't know your penis well enough to have an opinion.......

However, this is why CE is wrong about masturbation being a bad thing: The mind is the most powerful sex organ, and, to be honest, some of the best sex I have had has been through masturbation, generally with others. Also, as Nag has demonstrated, you can do it any where, and any time. So, if you need to clear your mind for other things, it is a wonderful way to accomplish that. So, Nag, keep on keeping on. Eventually your lady's finals will be over and you can get back to normal (whatever "normal" is for you, however, we can only guess).

Also, remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Stick with what you got, keep your faraway friend a secret, and all will be well.

And this is why I think you're a great guy and seriously value your opinion. Thank you for that.
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Catholic Europe
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Spammer
Who is Michael Shanks? The guy you fancy? Got a picture we can see of him lol.... :rolleyes:
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Paradise
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Resident bureaucrat

Posted Image
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NRE
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman

There is a pic of Micheal in the "this" thread CE.

Sorry you hate your pennis Nag, I sometimes hate mine as well and in a interesting way I had a similar situation however, it was my girlfriend I couldn't see.

But anywho keep up the the behind the pants action and hopefully everything will work out.
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

Posted Image

Michael Shanks - Hotness on Three Legs!
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Malkav
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Banned
 *  *  *
I hear he only has one leg. The other dangly things are just tendrils. Homoerotic overtones aside however, I believe Nag is in a dilemma. One I can't help but chuckle out loud about.
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cromn
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nag are you a bisexual because its hard to think otherwise due to the fact your alking about micheal keaton and your girl freind
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Quaon
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A Prince Amoung Men-Shoot First and Ask Questions Later
cromn
Jun 5 2006, 05:09 PM
nag are you a bisexual because its hard to think otherwise due to the fact your alking about micheal keaton and your girl freind

I believe so...
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Paradise
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Resident bureaucrat

cromn
Jun 5 2006, 06:09 PM
nag are you a bisexual because its hard to think otherwise due to the fact your alking about micheal keaton and your girl freind

Actually, he is :lol:
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Catholic Europe
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Spammer
Who knows?!
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

cromn
Jun 5 2006, 05:09 PM
nag are you a bisexual because its hard to think otherwise due to the fact your alking about micheal keaton and your girl freind

What a first post!

I mean take everyone else's first posts on this forum:

Paradises - crap
Mine - crap
CE's - crap

But cromn? Je suis LOVING IT!

Nag are you a bisexual, because it's hard to think otherwise!

LOVE IT WITH BELLS ON!

One other thing: never confuse Michael Shanks with Michael Keaton again. Or I will find you, and I will... *Good natured chuckling*
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
cromn
Jun 5 2006, 05:09 PM
nag are you a bisexual because its hard to think otherwise due to the fact your alking about micheal keaton and your girl freind

I agree. Probing. Now, ask me about being gay!! Come on, keep it going, please!
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Catholic Europe
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Spammer
And me lol!

And, Nag, you avoided answering that question.
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

The answer is yes.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
So, are your girlfriend's finals over yet? Are you back in the saddle? Can yo start drilling for oil again? Can the monkey find a friend???
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

... Uh...

Well funny you should say that.

No, her exams are not over.
I saw her yesturday though, we went to see X-men 3. Gonna see her again tomorrow.

There's no need to be that crass :P
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Nag Ehgoeg
Jun 8 2006, 04:20 PM
... Uh...

Well funny you should say that.

No, her exams are not over.
I saw her yesturday though, we went to see X-men 3. Gonna see her again tomorrow.

There's no need to be that crass :P

That wasn't crass. It was code to confuse the thirteen year olds!! :lol:
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Nag Ehgoeg
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The Devil's Advocate

Nice work.
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Syawla
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Pleasuring a cucumber with butter
 *  *  *  *  *  *
Nag Ehgoeg
Jun 5 2006, 09:49 AM
I just spent the last hour in a lecture looking down my friend's top! :angry: :angry: :angry:

I was sure we where in the "friend zone", but I couldn't stop looking at her because she's changed her hair and it now looks exactly like my girlfriends! And we where wearing matching outfits (colour scheme wise). And she just kept showing off her (rather pretty) chest.

She was wearing a vest top which didn't leave too much to the imagination. That was bad enough, but she kept leaning over damn it!

That was uncalled for!

To stop myself staring I started thinking about Michael Shanks (why are all the pretty boys straight?) which then lead me into thinking of thinking of my girlfriend (she doesn't like Stargate... it made sense at the time). Needless to say, thinking of what is probably the most attractive girl and (second) most attractive guy to me didn't do much to turn me off.

Fortunately, this forum is anything but a turn on! :D

New Harumf
Jun 5 2006, 09:34 AM
Kiensland
Jun 5 2006, 07:44 AM
I hate your penis too.

But hey. You're not the one with half a gig of *chan-worthy material.

I don't know your penis well enough to have an opinion.......

However, this is why CE is wrong about masturbation being a bad thing: The mind is the most powerful sex organ, and, to be honest, some of the best sex I have had has been through masturbation, generally with others. Also, as Nag has demonstrated, you can do it any where, and any time. So, if you need to clear your mind for other things, it is a wonderful way to accomplish that. So, Nag, keep on keeping on. Eventually your lady's finals will be over and you can get back to normal (whatever "normal" is for you, however, we can only guess).

Also, remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Stick with what you got, keep your faraway friend a secret, and all will be well.

And this is why I think you're a great guy and seriously value your opinion. Thank you for that.

There's nought unnormal about that mate. Everyone has these thought now and then. Just learn to revel in the fact that all is working nicely.

Long live my penis!
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