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| Pick up lines | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 17 2006, 12:27 PM (2,150 Views) | |
| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 09:32 PM Post #26 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Hmm, or failure, depending. :lol: :lol: :o |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 09:33 PM Post #27 |
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Anarchitect
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*squirms about in his computer chair for several moments contemplating it* okay... *gulps* ... I'll do it... :shy: Thanks NH... I think... |
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| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 09:35 PM Post #28 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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I know EXACTLY how you pick-em up, trust me, I know you way too well! :gnarkgnark: Also, wouldn't you have more success if you did all your waxing and preening, and enemas and what-ever BEFORE you got to the club, instead of right at the bar?? |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 09:36 PM Post #29 |
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Anarchitect
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If I don't appear on the server for a while, it will be either because 1) she got a little bit too rough with the spread eagle bed fantasy, or 2) I've committed suicide... |
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| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 09:37 PM Post #30 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Oh, don't worry, you'll probably get the "I thought you were different" answer, but you really don't need another sister right now, do you? And if you commit suicide I will hunt you down and kill you, so stop that! |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 09:38 PM Post #31 |
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Anarchitect
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I dunno, I've never had a sister... and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't say "I thought you were different..." but, I know what you mean... |
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| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 09:39 PM Post #32 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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You had best be joking about the suicide part. If you do that, I'll hunt you down and kill you! |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 09:40 PM Post #33 |
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Anarchitect
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I was just kidding... But the death penalty for attempted suicide... :P |
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| NRE | Apr 17 2006, 09:49 PM Post #34 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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The worst is having to live with a pregnant sister, but that's a different story entirely. On a similar note, does anyone know how to become an "Marriage officiant" if that be the correct term. It's something I've wanted to look into for a while but not sure where to go for information within my area. |
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| Al Araam | Apr 17 2006, 11:20 PM Post #35 |
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Demigod of Death & Inactivity
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The bearing your soul thing is always risky and difficult. In my opinion, NRE's option carries much less risk of rejection and would have a much higher success rate. Buy the largest piece of farm machinery you can afford, park it in a large public place at school and sit. Soon the women will flock to you. You may even want to bring a large stick to shake at them or beat them away from you as they attempt to throw themselves at you. You only have to hold out until the particular girl you are looking for finds you and then you can give the stick to her, so that you can drive your tractor off into the sunset. |
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| Nag Ehgoeg | Apr 18 2006, 07:26 AM Post #36 |
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The Devil's Advocate
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Having a wife that bites isn't cool? Way to kill my dreams! I feel I must disagree with Harumf on this one. While usually his relationship advice is sooo much better than mine - I'm speaking with more than a bit of experience on this. First off, how old is she? Secondly, when did she break up with her boyfriend? Thirdly, how long have you known each other? You're biggest concern here is finding out if you're trapped in the "friend zone" - if she thinks of you as a brother... well you're screwed (ok bad choice of words). Otherwise take the monkey catching route (softly, softly). Make no secrete of the fact that she's hot as hell and that you really like her, but at the same time don't hit on her. Wait a respectable amount of time. If she gets annoyed with men complimenting her, don't compliment her. There are other ways to be nice and show you care - and that all men aren't bastards. The most important thing to do, however, is show you accept her for who she is - that you like her (for more than sexual reasons) - and that she's not going to shock you or drive you away if she opens up to you. If she doesn't trust men and is worried about being hurt then coming out and saying you want to take her to bed probably isn't the best stratergy. Flirt a little, don't be too obvious though. Don't be desperate and try not to be pathetic. Phrases like "sorry I shouldn't have said that" (and perhaps adding "I forgot you don't like compliments") are your cake icing - it lets you hit on her then 'take it back' safely, but it's something that should be used sparingly as it does make you look pathetic (or a bastard) if over used. |
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| New Harumf | Apr 18 2006, 10:16 AM Post #37 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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That's a southern thing, isn't it? Could you elaborate? Also, having a preggers sister at home sounds sooooo very redneck! :D Unless you are the daddy, then it IS redneck! :lol: :lol: :lol: :o Now, E, you have advise from Nag, and me. Both worthy, but you must pick one, grasshopper! Also, remember, Nag has admitted having lots and lots of sex with his hand. Keep that in mind. |
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| New Harumf | Apr 18 2006, 10:18 AM Post #38 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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NR Minister Officiant |
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| Noriega | Apr 18 2006, 01:32 PM Post #39 |
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Resident Hobbit
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Works for me all the time! :D The ol' reel 'em in, and then let 'em go. Throws 'em off the ir "A" game. You'll know then when its time to strike. But as for E's particular type of girl, I have no experience. Wouldn't be the one I'd go for, smokin' hot or no, but to each his own I guess. |
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| NRE | Apr 18 2006, 01:33 PM Post #40 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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Yeah that about the same sites as I found too. However, I wasn't looking to become ordained, just be able to legally marry people. You know, the same guy who the in love teenagers seek out at midnight and marries them in his living room with his elderly wife as their witness. Justice of the peace always comes to mind when I think about it but I know that's not right. Oh well, I guess I just didn't know enough about it to no you had to be ordained.
What's a southern thing, the tractor? Yeah it's a southern thing alright and you wouldn't believe the amount of women you get with one. Of course size matters so you should always hope to own the biggest one on the lot. ;) :lol: :o Well pa said I could have her :D :uglysmile: Yes yes yes, I know it does sound redneck but her husband is in the construction business and she certainly couldn't continue to travel with him, and my mother would have never allowed her to be pregnant and live alone at their home, so she came home to us. |
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| New Harumf | Apr 18 2006, 01:41 PM Post #41 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Justice of the Peace is correct, but I think that has to be a judge. |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 18 2006, 02:07 PM Post #42 |
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Legitimist
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NRE, here is a list of who can preform a marriage in each state. For the most part, it seems to be clerics, judges, and perhaps some other civil officials. Your best bet would be clerical ordination, as there seem to be plenty of religious groups started just for that purpose, some of whom seem to offer to ordain you for free. |
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| NRE | Apr 18 2006, 03:35 PM Post #43 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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Interesting, well tnaks NH and RD..I know it seems a bit odd, but I have always wanted to be able to marry people, even if it were merely a side job :lol: |
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| Catholic Europe | Apr 18 2006, 03:54 PM Post #44 |
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Spammer
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Esternarx, I say get her really drunk and then just take advantage of her. |
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| New Harumf | Apr 18 2006, 04:13 PM Post #45 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Erm, there are consequences for that type of action, and one of them is ending up with a cell-mate named Bubba that thinks you'd make a good girl-friend. No, E, not an option. |
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| Catholic Europe | Apr 18 2006, 04:18 PM Post #46 |
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Spammer
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And how exactly do I pick them up (A PM might be in order)? ;) And, I do do all my preening and waxing before I go out. :unsure: :wacko: :huh: |
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| Nag Ehgoeg | Apr 18 2006, 05:34 PM Post #47 |
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The Devil's Advocate
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ZING! Oh man that was an old school zinger. Now usually, the direct approach is a good one to use - make no mistake I have nothing but respect for it. But if she's recently ended a crappy relationship and hates men, it might not be the best idea. Otherwise, I usually would fully support NH's way 100%. |
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| East Anarx | Apr 18 2006, 05:55 PM Post #48 |
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Anarchitect
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Hmm, having a wife that bites... nothing wrong with that.. :D Age: She's 16... no wait, 15... it doesn't matter anyways cuz I'm 16... Last Boyfriend: Capono broke up with her because he came out of the closet while dating her last summer. How long I've known her: We've known each other since the beginning of the school year, and I've liked her secretly the whole time. I feel I should probably mention this: I wrote her a letter, I think sometime around halloween, telling her how I felt and what-not... it was kind of a peer pressure thing, we have the same friends, and one of them told me that she liked me back.... <_< ... either he lied or she changed her mind because she avoided me for a day and then things went back to EXACTLY the way they were before I wrote her the letter. The one friend insists that she was just scared or something and that she really does, or at least did, like me... This probably ruins my chances... doesn't it? As far as the friend zone thing... I'm not sure... she hasn't said the worst possible phrase in the english language yet: "You're just like a brother to me." luckily... but she does treat me like a friend, which is also a good thing, I think... :unsure: she bites me and "stuff" too which makes me think that I have a chance... but sometimes I just don't know.. I haven't tried to make a move on her since the letter though... Does this change your advice? |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 18 2006, 06:00 PM Post #49 |
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Legitimist
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What kind of guy breaks up with a hot girl because he finds out she's bisexual? Am I missing something? |
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| East Anarx | Apr 18 2006, 06:03 PM Post #50 |
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Anarchitect
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yes, you misread the thread... the guy was gay... period. |
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