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| Pick up lines | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 17 2006, 12:27 PM (2,139 Views) | |
| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 12:27 PM Post #1 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Apparently, some British research institute published a paper of successful, and unsuccessful, pick-up lines. With spring in the air, I thought it might be fun to share our success/failure stories in this area. Here's my favorite: I was attending a sales conference in Atlanta, titled "The Close" and one of the instructors suggested the following as a full-proof way to get a yes or a no out of your prospective buyer. Simply ask him, on a scale of 1 to 10, with one, you throwing me out of your office, and a 10 having you sign on the dotted line, where do we stand? If he answers a 1, you know to pack up, and quit wasting your time. If he answers somewhere in the middle, you say, "What will it take to get you to 10?" Then, he'll tell you what you have to do to make the sale. I went to the hotel bar that evening, and was thinking how I thought that made a lot of sense. Then I spotted a beautiful thing sitting all alone at the end of the bar, and ythought, what the hell. I saddled over, sat down, and said, "Miss, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 you telling me to drop dead, and 10 us going up to my room and making passionate love, where would you say we are?" She smiled and said, "Oh, about an 8." Wow, I thought. An 8? That's great. So I asked, "What would it take to get us to 10?" She smiled, and said, "Fifty dollars." |
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| Nag Ehgoeg | Apr 17 2006, 04:55 PM Post #2 |
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The Devil's Advocate
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Ah pick up lines here's my experience: "Hey my friends over there paid me a total of £2 just to come over here and ask you out. I know that's not the best pick up line, but we can do whereever you want because they're paying. Interested?" - Failure (After listening to them complaining about their boyfriend) "That's really harsh, I think you're being treated really badly. If I had someone as special as you I- *sound of a tounge being jammed down my throat*" - Success "ASL" - Failure. "Dom(me) or Sub?" - Success (no really) "Ten Ton Polar Bear! ... Broke the ice" - Failure. At life. (Said by my sister) "My brother likes you." - 100% Success rate. "If I said you had a cute body, would you dance arround naked?" - She held it against me. Ok that last one was a joke. I can't get "pick up lines" to work for me. Either we have a meaningful conversation, find out we like each other and form a relationship... or s/he wants it and the only "pick up line" needed is being a good kisser (which I like to think I am). |
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| Catholic Europe | Apr 17 2006, 05:11 PM Post #3 |
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Spammer
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I've never used a pick-up line myself. Normally I 'pick up' through actions rather than words (and because the music is so loud I probably can't hear if anything is being said to me). |
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| The CNNP | Apr 17 2006, 06:21 PM Post #4 |
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Enforcer
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I am not going to lie; I really don't trust the "women" at the club... :unsure: |
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| Noriega | Apr 17 2006, 07:03 PM Post #5 |
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Resident Hobbit
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Paranoid! :P |
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| The CNNP | Apr 17 2006, 07:04 PM Post #6 |
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Enforcer
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You damn right...<<Look at those shoul...owww shiaaat!>> :D |
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| Noriega | Apr 17 2006, 07:06 PM Post #7 |
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Resident Hobbit
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:lol: |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:11 PM Post #8 |
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Anarchitect
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Yeah... those are always the best... catch em on the rebound... :P |
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| Noriega | Apr 17 2006, 07:12 PM Post #9 |
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Resident Hobbit
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*bows to the most wise and astute guru Esternarx* :rolleyes: Sorry, but we all knew that. :shy: |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:14 PM Post #10 |
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Anarchitect
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What? You all already knew that? *shock* :wacko: |
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| Noriega | Apr 17 2006, 07:15 PM Post #11 |
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Resident Hobbit
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^_^ |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:23 PM Post #12 |
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Anarchitect
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Okay, a little off topic, but hell, this is the off topic thread right?... anyways... here goes: You see, theres this one girl... you know the type, bicurious (enough to kiss another hot girl at least) , sado-masochist, animal rights activist, psychotic bitch, but hotter than hell... (emo as fuck too) She likes me... but, sadly, not enough to tear my clothes off and rape me where I stand. Normally, I would just ask her out and be done with it, I'd have my answer, but she has this really bad habit of avoiding all conversation that seems like it might lead to me doing such a thing. To make matters worse, her last boyfriend treated her like shit, and now whenever any guy compliments her, she automatically assumes that they are trying to get into her pants (honestly, they are... but she isn't supposed to just assume that... right?) Anyways... I don't know what to do... any suggestions? |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 17 2006, 07:27 PM Post #13 |
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Legitimist
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First of all, kissing another girl doesn't make her bicurious. It might mean that, but it might also mean that she just knows how to get men's attention. And second, of course she assumes that! Women aren't stupid. They know exactly what guys are up to! |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:29 PM Post #14 |
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Anarchitect
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by assume, I mean, she gets angry and avoids them for days on end... EDIT: shes bicurious, if you knew her, you'd know.. |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 17 2006, 07:32 PM Post #15 |
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Legitimist
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Well then, it doesn't sound like you're going to have any sort of relationship with her beyond friendship. |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:34 PM Post #16 |
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Anarchitect
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:cry: yeah... i know... I've always known... *proceeds to cutting his own wrist and crying* |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 17 2006, 07:36 PM Post #17 |
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Legitimist
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I think what she needs now, from the sound of it, is somebody who will listen to her, rather than some guy hitting on her. Perhaps you could do that instead? |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:37 PM Post #18 |
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Anarchitect
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I do... when she lets me... in fact, I haven't hit on her in almost two weeks.. :lol: |
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| Rhadamanthus | Apr 17 2006, 07:38 PM Post #19 |
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Legitimist
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lol, i think that's all you can do. |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 07:40 PM Post #20 |
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Anarchitect
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sigh... i know... this whole post was just kind of an emo moment for me... :lol: |
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| Paradise | Apr 17 2006, 07:51 PM Post #21 |
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Resident bureaucrat
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Wait for New Harumf. He will solve your problem ^_^ |
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| Kiensland | Apr 17 2006, 08:27 PM Post #22 |
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Apathetic Lizardman
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There's nothing wrong with animal rights activists. On the other hand, there's everything wrong with me trying pick up lines. |
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| NRE | Apr 17 2006, 08:47 PM Post #23 |
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Map Tsar and Southern Gentleman
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I can't say I've ever used pick-up lines, we here in the south do things different you know. All you gotta do is bring out your tractor, because everyone knows she thinks my tractors sexy and it really turns her on.
:rolleyes: I hardly see how you would call it rape :P As for her assumptions, yes....yes she is. Don't ask, just know that asnwer will always be yes As for your problem in general, it does seem like to me you're only going to get to be the "Good friend" or the "shoulder to cry on." But don't worry, New Harumf will eventually see this and impart to us his immortal wisdom. |
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| East Anarx | Apr 17 2006, 09:17 PM Post #24 |
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Anarchitect
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I dunno... shes kinda into the bondage thing... actually thats kind of an understatement, to put it another way, she giggles when I bleed... EDIT: not that I don't like it when she bites me... :wub: |
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| New Harumf | Apr 17 2006, 09:31 PM Post #25 |
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
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Boy, be blunt. Simply ask my first example. If, when you say, "What will it take to get to 10?" she replies, "having you strapped spread eagle on the bed, helpless, while my girlfriend and I use you in every possible way imaginable......", well, at least you'll know. Then, take out life insurance and say "OK", or move on. No sense wasting time with someone who "wants to be a good friend." You don't want to marry her (having a wife that bites is NOT cool), so find out, and then move on, because if you don't find out, you'll WILL kill yourself. I was pining for months over someone once, and finally used that line, and got the "1" answer. I shrugged, and moved on. |
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