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Harumf Begins its Campaign
Topic Started: Oct 19 2005, 04:28 PM (166 Views)
New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
On the Border

There is a dead silence in the air on the eastern border of Western New Harumf. A farmer can be seen working in his field, and the plop, plop, plop of his horses hooves are the only thing to resonate off of the low hills. Suddenly the Horse stops, and cocks its ears. The farmer, behind his plow lifts his head, hears nothing, and spirits his horse on.

Then, a flock of pheasants bolt from a nearby bush, and the farmer stops the horse and listens again. Off in the distance, there is a sound, a low rumble, almost inpercievable. A deer darts suddenly accross the field. More birds take flight, and the noise begins to pick up.

The farmer stares toward the west, waiting in anticipation. Suddenly, ith a roar, the first tank breaks over the low hill, followed by another, and another. He stares and watches while these massive marvels of modern warfare continue by in a single line. One after another, after another.

He looks north, and sees another column off in the distance, and turns south to see a third. An hour passes and tank after tank continues to roar by, kicking up a cloud of dust that blackens out the sun. How many are there, how long will it continue?

On the other Border

Mrs. Goody Gootch, a good Amish wife, sits in her small, modest kitchen in her small, modest house near the Western border of Eastern New Harumf, contentedly working on a huge quilt for her neighbor. She and her husband build this house with their bare hands after they returned to their homeland from their exile in Nag Ehgoeg with their three children. Life was good, their small 250 acre farm was producing, and the children were growing.

Suddenly, Jonah, her youngest, runs through the front door, all out of breath, "Mama, ist der man at der yard. He ask to sprechen mit mine mama."

"What ist it, boy? Vat man?"

"At der front yard, Mama. Come quick."

So, Mrs. Gootch lays down he quilt, and goes out on the porch. Sure enough, there is a stranger in her yard, dressed in a uniform, and with a rifle. She looks closely, and then recognises her neighbor, Mr. Lovey. "Lovey, what are ya playin at? Why ere you dressed so odd?"

"Goody Gootch, we ere off to war, in the West, and need some supplies from yer farm."

"Who is dis we?", she asks?

"Look beyond yer nose, Goody!"

She looks toward the horizon, and almost falls over. From horizon to horizon, as far as the eye can see are thousands, nay, hundreds of thousands of armed men, marching toward the West, accompanied by huge guns, trucks and cannon. She looks overhead and sees squadrions of aircraft moving west as well.

"Yes, Goody Gooch, we Amish are going to war, to reclaim our lands. Now, we are going to help ourselves to what we need, and I don't want any fight from ya. Oh, and that older boy of yours, Abner?? He's close to 17 now isn't he? You best call him so we can suit him up. The Bishop commands all the elegible to join the Army. Now call him, so he can join us!'

At that, Goody Gootch let out a scream, and finally did faint dead away.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
A sleek ship is entering the port of Abu-Dahbi. It docks, without hostilities, and an armed guard on the dock approaches and asks, "What is your business?"

A man abord the ship addresses him, And says, "We seek a conference with Hirak-Al Voramix. We are an official delegation from New Harumf."

The guard looks suspiciously. "Wait here" he says.
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Comrade Queen
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Comrade Bitchqueen
After about half an hour, several guards return to the dock and escort the Harumfian delegation into an armored vehicle. Another hour passes as they are driven through the streets of Abu-Dahbi to the royal mansion that currently held as Prince Hirak-Al Voramix's headquarters in Scythirus. They're led through several lavishly decorated hallways of the mansion before being brought into a conference room with Prince Hirak-Al Voramix himself.

"Greetings, honorable delegates," the prince said from behind his old oak desk. "I trust your journey here was a fitting one? As you can see, security is being tripled here as we're under threat of attack by the vile armies of the usurping traitor, Jorzo Mafil. He currently fancies himself ruler of Scythirus, and will stop at no end to recapture this port and see me dead.

"I understand you came here for other matters than this, and we'll discuss them now. What proposal will you put before me?"
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
A handsome man in his mid-twenties steps forward, bows low to Prince Voramix, and begins to speak:

Your royal highness, a blessing to you and your family. I am Prince Thomas, son of His Holy Catholic Majesty, King Thomas of New Harumf. I come to seek favor with your Highness, and seek remedies for old wounds. When the People of New Harumf went into hiding, we left behind our beautiful land, but more important, we left behind some very dear and charished places.

We left behind the tomb of St. Elizabeth Rose, and the Cathedral built upon it. We left behind the sight of the miracle of Sts. Emmanuel and Elizabeth, that converted the people of The Amish Children, and we left behind my father's palace in New Rome.

We have no interest in removing you from the lands you occupy - our interest is in recovering these holy sights. All three of these sights lie just within the borders of what we now call Western Scythirus, the furthest just 17 miles beyond our Western Settlement. We request, nay, demand that you shift your border to the east so we may retain control of our most sacred sights.

As restitution for this action, you may have noticed huge armies massing on the eastern and western borders of Western Scythirus - we will provide these forces for the purpose of removing Jorzo Mafil from his illegal seat in Old Scythirus! Our army is huge, well armed, and ready to strike. After you regain your rightful place on your father's throne, we will enter into a non-aggression pact with all of Scythirus, and live in peace and friendship.

If you shun us, and reject this offer, then again, I suggest you look toward your borders at the huge military factions being deployed, and I suggest you also consider what sort of negotiations could take place with Jorzo Mafil to obtain our objectives, because obtain them, we will.

What say you, Prince of Scythirus?
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Comrade Queen
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Comrade Bitchqueen
The Prince was nobody's fool, and he would need all the help he could to remove the great evil of Jorzo Mafil from power. He stroked his chin as if to show the Harumfian delegates that he was thinking over the pros and cons of the situation deeply, but the truth was he had already made up his mind halfway through Prince Thomas' speech. He would accept their proposal, and use their aid to crush the demon Mafil.

"Honorable Prince Thomas," he said, "you will have your land that you request. I swore that I would reclaim my birthright at any cost, and this proposal of yours is a fair and honest trade. Consider us full allies."
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Scythirus
Oct 20 2005, 09:01 PM
The Prince was nobody's fool, and he would need all the help he could to remove the great evil of Jorzo Mafil from power. He stroked his chin as if to show the Harumfian delegates that he was thinking over the pros and cons of the situation deeply, but the truth was he had already made up his mind halfway through Prince Thomas' speech. He would accept their proposal, and use their aid to crush the demon Mafil.

"Honorable Prince Thomas," he said, "you will have your land that you request. I swore that I would reclaim my birthright at any cost, and this proposal of yours is a fair and honest trade. Consider us full allies."

Prince Thomas bows low, and says:

A wise choice, my lord. May I suggest I send my King's commander of the New Harumfian forces, and the Amish forces to meet with your military commanders to plan strategy?

With that, the entire New Harumfian delegation bows low, and departs the prince's chambers.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
Albert Van der Kleet is sitting in his small general store, just inside the Eastern border of Western Scythirus, listening to some old Anrew Geoghegan tune on his small radio, and reading a Nagian porn magazine, when he hears horrible noises coming from outside his place of business.

A rush to the door reveals columns of armor pouring out of Scythirus, all bearing New Harumfian marking, and crossing the wilderness beyond his store heading east toward the no-man's land. There, in the distance, he can see a huge army on foot and in mechanized transports welcoming the tanks. The entire force looks headed east and north accross the wasteland in front of him. He shrugs his shoulders, and heads back to his store.

"I'm so smart........." continues to wail on the radio, and Albert gets back to the section on furry marsupial sex in his magazine. "Not my concern" he thinks to himself, and shakes his head.
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New Harumf
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Bloodthirsty Unicorn
OK, Your Majesty, we have our route into Scythirus. Where would you like us to go??

OOC: Do posts regarding this war go into the Second War of Succession post??
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Comrade Queen
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Comrade Bitchqueen
Preferably.
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