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How to Summon Pigeon Satan:; A Begginer's Guide
Topic Started: Jun 6 2012, 09:48:19 PM (71 Views)
TheBurrowingHippo
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Shady Dude Doing God Knows What in the Corner
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Ever needed to contact the Dark Lord of Birds? Well, with this handy guide, you can in three easy steps!

The first step, which is essential to completing the other steps, is to find and murder someone. You want to make the corpse as clean as possible, so I would recommend slitting their throat. Remember to not brutally mutilate them. If you're taking breaks in between steps, which is recommended for people new to the art of summoning Our Cawing Overlord, remember to put the body in a freezer, or find some other way to keep it fresh. Also remember to keep the heart intact, as you'll need it later.

The second requires their blood. I'd recommend propping them up in a chair, slitting their wrist, then quickly but carefully putting their wrist over a jar. Then, use the collected blood to make a Skwaking Satanic Star.

Now that you've collected their blood, you can do whatever you want with the corpse. But the essential next step is to bake their heart into bread. This will usually take about 36 hours. Then, take out their heart and break it into crumbs. Darken the room containing the Skwaking Satanic Star, and sprinkle the Heart Bread crumbs over it. Sit in a meditative position and wait for Our Feather'd Omnipresence to come in all his Feathery Fury.
Edited by TheBurrowingHippo, Jun 6 2012, 09:57:44 PM.
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Vidguysteve
Nov 28 2011, 04:08:11 PM
Well, fuck you, Vidguysteve, because you don't know shit.
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X-Naut
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FUUUUUUUUTURRRRRRRRRE
You forgot to mention the signal of his arrival:

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Edited by X-Naut, Jun 7 2012, 05:11:08 AM.
SoulofHachi
 
I officially hate Demomen who go around with their sword, swinging it like a limp dick.

The rules.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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