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lol Bianchi hates on Christie; But he bashes the team too
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Topic Started: Mar 25 2005, 12:36 PM (282 Views)
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iceveins333
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Mar 25 2005, 12:36 PM
Post #1
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Rocks blocking shots on guys with dreadlocks
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Weisbrod's club has image of expansion team Published March 25, 2005
If I knew who he was, I might just call for Chris Jent's firing.
And I'm not sure, but I think I saw Magic General Manager John Weisbrod on the phone with ousted coach Johnny Davis midway through the fourth quarter Thursday night. I believe the first words out of Weisbrod's mouth were: "Just kidding, Johnny."
I'm joking, of course, because what else can you do after watching the withering Magic get blown out 108-94 by the expansion Charlotte Bobcats? The Magic have become so bad that courtside photographers will soon start kicking the players when they fall into press row.
Playoff team?
Puh-leeze.
The Magic are much closer to an expansion team. Actually, they are now officially an expansion team's tackling dummy. The Magic are 1-3 against the Bobcats, who came into Thursday night with an 0-19 road record in the Eastern Conference.
There was talk before Thursday's embarrassing, humiliating, wretched defeat that the Magic were embarking on their own version of the NCAA Tournament. Jent (he's the anonymous guy in the suit standing in front of the bench) said every game would take on do-or-die implications.
You want a postseason Cinderella? The Magic are wearing glass slippers but, unfortunately, Steve Francis is using them as a weapon to kick courtside photographers.
You want March Madness? How about an angry Stacey Augmon assaulting reporters with projectile body lotion?
You want the Final Four? How about the number of NBA-caliber Magic players remaining who haven't either been suspended, fined or injured?
You want a bracket-buster? The University of Orlando Fighting Magicians are a 16 seed in the NBA Albuquerque Regional, which is where the Magic might be relocating if the team continues its downward spiral into oblivion.
Who needs Wisconsin-Milwaukee when we've got Orlando-Dysfunction right here?
"We're on the bubble," Magic star Grant Hill said before Thursday's loss.
The bubble burst Thursday, and the Magic have Bubblicious all over their faces. They lost the play-in game. They are Alabama A&M losing to Oakland (Mich.).
When last we saw the Magic at home, they still bore a faint resemblance to a playoff team. But since their last home game on March 13, a coach has been fired, two players suspended, another player fined and still another injured and lost for the season.
"We've had a season-full of misfortune and turmoil in one week," Hill said. "This has been one of the toughest stretches I've ever been through."
Honestly, this was like expansion team versus expansion team. Without Francis (suspension, out for three games), Hedo Turkoglu (broken wrist, out for the season) and Doug Christie (hurt feelings, out until his wife tells him he can come back), the Magic starting lineup Thursday night was made up of Hill, two rookies, Kelvin Cato and DeShawn Stevenson. Chris Jent, Johnny Davis or Red Auerbach couldn't win with that lineup.
By the way, will somebody please tell Christie to phone home? With the lineup the Magic had on the floor Thursday night, they could have used Christie -- bone spurs and all. In fact, they could have used Christie with bone spurs, shin splints and one arm tied behind his back.
In the last week, the Magic have had games at Sacramento (where Christie played for six years), Los Angeles (where Christie was supposedly getting a second opinion from a doctor on whether he needs surgery) and Seattle (where Christie and his wife own a home). And Christie wasn't at any of the games. Can you say AWOL? Can you believe the Magic are actually paying this guy $8 million a year to not be part of the team?
Memo to Rich Crotty: Can the Magic at least have $413.37 of the tourist tax money to maybe get some new carpet in their locker room?
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zuppafly
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Mar 25 2005, 02:49 PM
Post #2
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Drafting Marbury + Foyle = Championship. \o/
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ahahah, this giu makes great articles! And he's right on what he says on this one.
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Black and Blue
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Mar 25 2005, 07:05 PM
Post #3
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Have You Hugged Your Van Gundy Today?
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Hilarious article. I like it. Sounds like he would fit right in at our boards. The Christie stuff about him not showing up to games is hilarious, yet very thought provoking. What a jackass.
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iceveins333
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Mar 25 2005, 08:00 PM
Post #4
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Rocks blocking shots on guys with dreadlocks
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yeah but he's a bandwagon whore too
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zuppafly
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Mar 25 2005, 11:14 PM
Post #5
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Drafting Marbury + Foyle = Championship. \o/
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ok, but he's a funny badwagon whore. Someone find his email and send him the link of this board
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TheFalcon
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Mar 27 2005, 07:33 PM
Post #6
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Air Gortat
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I agree 100% on Christie. The man is a whiner, and when things go wrong he heads out to his garage, pounds his shin with a rubber mallet and WHAM - shin splints. This guy doesnt need surgery, he needs a backbone.
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