Love's Road

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Love's Road; Sappy poem written for my girl
Topic Started: Nov 2 2007, 11:13 PM (178 Views)
mcfaster	Nov 2 2007, 11:13 PM Post #1
Wisdom is just practical knowledge Posts: 187 Group: Editor Member #12 Joined: October 18, 2007	Name of Piece: Love's Road Copyright/credits to author: © Josh McMaster Is the piece finished: No, first draft Rating and Reason for rating: G. Poem I wrote my girl Notes: Its the time we spend on other and not that which we save for ourselves that defines us. Life hasn't been easy God knows I've cried my share But i will always smile When I smell your hair Or rejoice every time I kiss you And don't wanna let you go Because my love I'll miss you, Every time you go And even through the sorrow And especially through the pain It is you I'll always follow Just to hear my name And if by chance I lose you I'll count my life a lie And in truth I'll always miss you Until the day I die So lets take the time we have now Before that sad day comes And maybe I'll find a way how To make our two hearts one.



Oh Wise One	Nov 3 2007, 11:04 AM Post #2
Administrator Posts: 549 Group: Owner Member #1 Joined: September 20, 2007	I thought it was really sweet and really sappy. Seriously, it flows well together, the word arrangement works, the rhyming seems a bit forced, but other than that, good work!



mcfaster	Nov 3 2007, 09:08 PM Post #3
Wisdom is just practical knowledge Posts: 187 Group: Editor Member #12 Joined: October 18, 2007	Not much I can do about the rhyming I don't think. yah probably the most sappy thing i've ever written in my life. Don't think it is going to happen again. I'll try to knock out the kinks sometime later. Thank you for your opinion Oh Wise one. I might someday arrange a book of poems to be published just for fun. I just need some more topics to write on. If you ever want a poem written or a short rhyme for the site i can help you out.



Jober68	Nov 3 2007, 09:34 PM Post #4
Hypocracy FTW. Posts: 363 Group: Inkslinger Member #11 Joined: October 17, 2007	you helpless romantic you. Nice poem but very cheezy. now if you'll excuse me I've got a psych paper to write up!



Default	Dec 19 2007, 02:05 PM Post #5
Interested Observer Posts: 11 Group: Inkslinger Member #19 Joined: November 4, 2007	I agree with Old Wise One, the rhyming does seem a little forced but nevertheless, great poem.



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