| "Shadows" Feedback | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 9 2010, 03:05 PM (335 Views) | |
| Jps101 | Jun 9 2010, 03:05 PM Post #1 |
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Supreme Pokemon Champion!
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Hey guys. Here's a thread for all feedback on my story, so we can keep the story thread, strictly to the story ![]() Also, feel free to submit ideas for characters, or plot ideas. But try and keep them a bit more sensible ![]() Name: Gender: Age: Description: Information: Edited by Jps101, Jun 9 2010, 04:55 PM.
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| Jimmy | Jun 9 2010, 03:43 PM Post #2 |
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Mayor
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good story i want more!
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PM Me if you need help! IRC Chat | Daily Polls | Ask The Staff Bulletin Board | Rules | |
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| Bacon Boy | Jun 9 2010, 04:04 PM Post #3 |
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A True Innovator
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You repeat the main character's name too much without using pronouns. It sounds unprofessional and repetitive when you do that. Other than that, it sounds cool. |
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| Jps101 | Jun 9 2010, 04:55 PM Post #4 |
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Supreme Pokemon Champion!
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Thanks bacon boy I edited it to suit what you said a bit more, tell me if you think it works a bit better now.Also remember guys, feel free to submit a character. I've added an example form to the first post. so.... |
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| Jimmy | Jun 9 2010, 04:57 PM Post #5 |
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Mayor
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Name: Jimmy Gender: Male Age: 14 Description: Owns a website Information: Owns a website |
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PM Me if you need help! IRC Chat | Daily Polls | Ask The Staff Bulletin Board | Rules | |
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| Jps101 | Jun 9 2010, 04:59 PM Post #6 |
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Supreme Pokemon Champion!
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... Jimmy by description I mean what he looks like. And I need more information than "Owns a website" |
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10:34 AM Jul 11