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|Santa Claus; Why didn't we see the signs?|
|Topic Started: Nov 1 2011, 11:54 AM (41 Views)|
|Jimu113||Nov 1 2011, 11:54 AM Post #1|
After lengthy consultation of legends and scientific data, we have came to a frightening conclusion:
Santa Claus is a Goa'uld.
Let us examine the facts:
1) His extended life, as well as his followers (obviously Jaffa), as well as the lack of deterioration in his health despite his girth denotes the presence of Goa'uld symbiotes.
2) The speed with which he travels (around the world in one night). Evidence of a Ha'tak mothership with advanced holographic and cloaking technologies (in order to perpetuate the illusion of a sleigh and 8-9 reindeer).
3) The ability to "fit himself down a chimney" (or, even, appear within a domicile lacking such an entry point) is the result of a ring transporter.
4) The "rewarding" of "good children" (Chosen Ones) and punishing of "naughty" ones.
5) His girth, despite tales of consumption of vast quantities of sweets and milk, could potentially be ascribed to multiple Goa'uld larvae.
If you see this supposedly jolly fellow, do not approach. Contact Stargate Command at Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, Immediately.
(For those not familiar with Stargate SG-1, refer here
The worthy GM never purposely kills players' PCs, He presents opportunities for the rash and unthinking players to do that all on their own."
- Gary Gygax
Blesed are the cracked, for they let the light in
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away". Tom Waits.
come on, I been through so many editions, I'm 10th level just from character creation
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