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My Poem; please rate my poem
Topic Started: May 23 2005, 10:07 AM (100 Views)
flower_girl
Unregistered

hello friends and not friends. please rate my poem.

undying hate

is that all you do
cause destruction
make a mess
ruin plans
then try to make ammends
well its not gonna work
so dont even try
i wont shed a tear
this time i wont cry
run away leave
you cant have it both ways
you cant always get what you want
i wont come back
no matter what you say
this time things are different
things are my way
for once things are good
im not not blinded
i can see
so turn your back
see if i care
im used to it
its not as if you were ever there
i wont pretend
and i dont want to lie
i hate you
and thats that
and i wish you would die

copyright me aka flower_girl aka haley
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Mio
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Everyone changes...
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its good^^ but i think it would be better if it were less, angry...it sounds as though this person is saten himself or something...remeber that hate is a very strong word.

i rate 6/10
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flower_girl
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trust me, in this case its not strong enough...
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Tanya
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[¤ Absolutely Lovely ¤]
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I like ur poem flower_girl^^ It's very nice and i don't have any prob with word 'hate' ^^;
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Lain-Chan
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.::[[Molkoid]]::.
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I think your poem is in the eyes of the beholder, I mean, I agree with both Yomiko and Ino Arche, 'hate' after all is a very strong word, but no-one except you knows how you really feel. I think it's very expressive, and it definetaly shows your anger for this person, but not in an entirely bad way. I think from 1-10 I give it a 7 or an 8, it would be a 10, but maybe you could put more...passion I guess. ^^;
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flower_girl
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thanx heaps. its to do with my dad- dont ask.
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Mio
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Everyone changes...
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
ahh, dont even get me started about disliking your dad (i know all about that!)
but still, i would never say i hated him, after all without him i wouldn't be on this earth even if he isn't the Father of the Year i think you should put more genuine passion and less hatefull spite
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Shanni-chan
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..Beauty is believing..
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Hate is indeed a strong word and I have to admit that I used it towards my father and for that matter, my friends and family.

Anyways, it's a nice poem despite it being all angry and stuff. ^^;
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bleu blizzard
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[Een en Alleen]
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to bad is all angry things... specialy its about your father.
What every happed he is and stays your father.

anyway the poem is oke. I will give it a 6.5/10 if I have to rate it.
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