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| My Poem; please rate my poem | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 23 2005, 10:07 AM (100 Views) | |
| flower_girl | May 23 2005, 10:07 AM Post #1 |
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hello friends and not friends. please rate my poem. undying hate is that all you do cause destruction make a mess ruin plans then try to make ammends well its not gonna work so dont even try i wont shed a tear this time i wont cry run away leave you cant have it both ways you cant always get what you want i wont come back no matter what you say this time things are different things are my way for once things are good im not not blinded i can see so turn your back see if i care im used to it its not as if you were ever there i wont pretend and i dont want to lie i hate you and thats that and i wish you would die copyright me aka flower_girl aka haley |
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| Mio | May 23 2005, 12:29 PM Post #2 |
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Everyone changes...
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its good^^ but i think it would be better if it were less, angry...it sounds as though this person is saten himself or something...remeber that hate is a very strong word. i rate 6/10 |
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| flower_girl | May 23 2005, 12:44 PM Post #3 |
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trust me, in this case its not strong enough... |
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| Tanya | May 23 2005, 12:50 PM Post #4 |
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[¤ Absolutely Lovely ¤]
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I like ur poem flower_girl^^ It's very nice and i don't have any prob with word 'hate' ^^; |
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| Lain-Chan | May 23 2005, 12:58 PM Post #5 |
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.::[[Molkoid]]::.
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I think your poem is in the eyes of the beholder, I mean, I agree with both Yomiko and Ino Arche, 'hate' after all is a very strong word, but no-one except you knows how you really feel. I think it's very expressive, and it definetaly shows your anger for this person, but not in an entirely bad way. I think from 1-10 I give it a 7 or an 8, it would be a 10, but maybe you could put more...passion I guess. ^^; |
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| flower_girl | May 23 2005, 01:01 PM Post #6 |
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thanx heaps. its to do with my dad- dont ask. |
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| Mio | May 23 2005, 01:09 PM Post #7 |
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Everyone changes...
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ahh, dont even get me started about disliking your dad (i know all about that!) but still, i would never say i hated him, after all without him i wouldn't be on this earth even if he isn't the Father of the Year i think you should put more genuine passion and less hatefull spite |
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| Shanni-chan | May 23 2005, 04:12 PM Post #8 |
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..Beauty is believing..
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Hate is indeed a strong word and I have to admit that I used it towards my father and for that matter, my friends and family. Anyways, it's a nice poem despite it being all angry and stuff. ^^; |
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| bleu blizzard | May 23 2005, 04:45 PM Post #9 |
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[Een en Alleen]
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to bad is all angry things... specialy its about your father. What every happed he is and stays your father. anyway the poem is oke. I will give it a 6.5/10 if I have to rate it. |
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6:44 AM Jul 13