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| The Next Life...; a new poem | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 19 2005, 05:26 PM (109 Views) | |
| Ida | Apr 19 2005, 05:26 PM Post #1 |
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We don't claim to be perfect, but we're free
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here! I have a new poem! The next life In the end I may not cry… In the end I may fly! Yeah… Maybe even right up in the sky! But if that would happen… Will you do the same? Will you not cry? Because we are together when we go? And will you fly? And to the same place? Will we be angels? And…Why? Will we have a next life? Or will it just be the same? The same place, the same… Will we start a new life as the one we was in the past? Do the life better? Until we have done nothing wrong? Will we? Please tell me… what do you think? |
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| Elisa | Apr 19 2005, 07:12 PM Post #2 |
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I think it's very good ^^ Be wary of using ellipsis (...) in poetry though, it's not commonly used. But it doesn't really matter, good poem! |
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| Dark_Devil | Apr 19 2005, 10:46 PM Post #3 |
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Leader
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Ooh that's great ^^. I like how you added the dots though but like Elisa said it isn't really used but still looks cool. I like how in the first stanza there was a bit of a rhyme =3. Good job ^__^. |
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| Driger_5 | Apr 20 2005, 02:15 AM Post #4 |
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=^.^=
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That's quite, good, keep it up. |
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| Ida | Apr 20 2005, 04:36 PM Post #5 |
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We don't claim to be perfect, but we're free
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thanks for the coments! It's a bit longer than the other I made...werry motsh longer... |
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