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| Akai Yume (red Dream); UPDATED JUNE 17TH | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 25 2004, 04:11 AM (1,185 Views) | |
| Sinia | Jan 15 2005, 02:36 PM Post #31 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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Thanks, all this love makes it worth while! ^^ |
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| Jon | Jan 15 2005, 02:58 PM Post #32 |
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Member for more than a year
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thats good work
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| King of Darkness | Jan 15 2005, 04:49 PM Post #33 |
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Leader
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The chapter was short, but good ^^ Keep 'em coming! |
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| Sinia | Jan 15 2005, 06:10 PM Post #34 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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Sorry, for that. I thinking about adding more. Cause im starting to remeber more detail from the original one. The virus ate it..... |
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| Renjaku | Jan 15 2005, 06:19 PM Post #35 |
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I'm back, suckers! ;D
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Yay! You Updated!It's so good! Can You Add Zeo in the next chapter? |
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| nessi | Jan 16 2005, 01:06 AM Post #36 |
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Elite
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An update!^^ Loved this chap, more interesting then the others. Update soon! ^^ |
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| Sinia | Jan 20 2005, 10:58 PM Post #37 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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Okay, now it gets interesting! ^^ This chapter is titled, Oukami. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Akira. Wake up!" A voice whispered. Akira reconized it at once. "Masha?!" She whispered back. "Yes! Ryou-san is waiting. He knows I came for you." "I knew you would have gone back. After they took me again-." "Come on Akira. Grab your stuff." Said the girl, her voice strained. Masha was in a hurry. Akira didn't want to leave, but Masha was practically her family. Quickly, she wrote a note. Everyone, I'm fine. I just had to leave, thank you. Nakira "EVERYONE! WAKE UP!" Kai was jerked from his sleep by this yell. "Nakira! She's gone! And she left this note!" Kai opened his eyes to see Mariah. She held a small peice of paper and waved it around insanely. "She's what?" Asked Tyson sitting up and gaping. "Gone. It says she's fine, but she left!" Said the female neko-jin. She seemed paniced. "Mariah, calm down." Said Ray as he stood. The boy calmed her while Hilary read the note over and over again. "She's gone, who cares." Said Kai, returning to his old demeaner. ~A Few Months Later~ "So Mr. Dickenson, why are we coming here again?" Asked Tyson. "My old friend, Ryou Ishiyama, has made a few discoveries. He wanted me to se them." "Then why did you bring half of the White Tigers, Demolition Boys, and the All Starts?" Asked Hilary. "Why not share what we learn with them?" Said the elder man with a smile. "Ah! Here we are." The rolled up to a beautiful home. Or should it be mansion? The house was a beautiful Victorian, two story mansion. Atleast 35 rooms! "Ah! So good to see you Dickenson!" Smiled a man with black hair as he strode down the front stairs. "Ryou! Ah! So good to see you." Smiled Mr. Dickenson. "Come in, come in! It's a bit chilly today is it not?" Asked Ryou. "Yes. Oh, and Ryou. This is Kai, Yuriy, Tyson, Max, Hilary, Kenny, Daichi, Mariah, Ray, Emily, and Hiro." Mr. Dickenson indicated to each person. "Very good to meet you all, now in. In!" The younger man ushered them in. "Please make yourselves at home." They looked around. Beautiful paintings, crystal chandeliers, fine vases and china everywhere. "It does seem abit fragile. If anything is broken, don't worry. I have two here of my own." Said Ryou, "Oh, and just call me Ryou if you please." The man was very kind and gentle as they could see. He was about as old as Mr. Dickenson, but his youth seemed more of mind that body. "This way, to the lab." He beckoned them to foloow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLIFF-HANGERS! Don't ya hate me? ^^ Too bad. |
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| lyrikkal | Jan 22 2005, 03:10 AM Post #38 |
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return those bitter days
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Wah. Evil cliffhanger. D: It's really good so far, though I do agree that Kai was a bit OOC for a while.. but you gave good reason for it, and being OOC isn't necessarily a bad thing in the context of your story, so that's okay. It's your story and you should write it the way you want. (But by posting, you give others the right to criticize the way they wish, so don't take anything personally.) Write more soon! ^__^ |
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| Sinia | Jan 22 2005, 01:45 PM Post #39 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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Fank wu Lyri-chan! ::huggles:: |
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| nessi | Jan 23 2005, 01:19 PM Post #40 |
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Elite
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Good chappie.^^ But I don't consider it that much of a cliff-hanger... they're usually worse. <.< But that doesn't mean you have to make them! ^^; Update soon! |
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| Sinia | Jan 23 2005, 05:23 PM Post #41 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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This is chapter what... 5? Anywho it's called Houou. Okay this is not about pokemon, but Houou was a pheonix in japanese mythology. Oh, wow, just gave you a lesson! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Okay. Welcome and make yourself comfy." Said Ryou, indicating to some couches. "This may take a second to load up." He quickly went into some folders and selected a few things. Ring! Everyone jumped as the silence was broken. The phone was ringing. "Excuse me for a moment." Said Ryou touching the hnads-free button on his phone. "Hello. Is this Ryou Ishiyama?" A lady's voice asked. "This is he." "Hello, I am Mrs. Motosuwa from the Alexandros School For Girls. I have your daughters here." "What happened?" "There was a fight between a teacher and the two." "Excuse me?" "Yes. The teacher, Ms. Hiyame, threw the first punch and the girls were merely defending themselves. I'd rather not have this discussion over the phone. Would you mind coming in sir?" "Not at all. I will be there in an hour or so." "Okay." Click. "Mr. Dickenson, I severly apologize." Said Ryou. "Don't! Your daughters are more important than this." Said the old man back. "Thank you for understadning. But, I wanted to know. Would you stay by yourself, or would you rather go?" Ryou had picked up his keys and was now looking at them. "Well, do you have enough space? I mean in a car." Mr. Dickenson indicated to the children. "Yes. The girls and I travel often, and we have plenty of space. Please, come with me." Ryou walked upstairs and into his garage. Ryou pointed to a bus. Only thing was, it was pracitcally a tour bus. "Enough space?" The good-natured man opened the door and let them in. "Jump on the beds, raid the mini-fridge, be at home." He smiled and sat in the driver's seat. Mr. Dickenson took the passengers seat besides him. ~ An Hour Later~ They went through the schools gate and entered the huge estate. "This their school." Ryou called back to them. The building was three stories tall, and from atleast the early 1800 hundreds. Vines covered a few places and grew across the roof. The grounds were a lush green, and had a beautiful garden growing on the eastern side of the building. A fountain was in the middle of the courtyard. "Come on. I want to make sure they are okay." Ryou jumped out of the bus, everyone else at his heels. "Mrs. Motosuwa?" Asked Ryou walking into a large office. Two girls sat in a corner. One had lavender hair and ice blue eyes. The other, however, had black hair and pale, crimson-mid night blue0violet mixed eyes. The children's eyes widened and Tyson opened his mouth, "Na-!" Hilary's hand shot out and covered his mouth. "Yes. Your girls are there. Masha has merely a few bruises. Akira-Ri may need to go to the hospital, but she wouldn't go when we asked her." The Headmistress explained. "Akira-Ri. Why wouldn't you?" Asked Ryou walking over to her. The dark-haired looked up at him with respectful eyes. The read fear though. "Okay." Ryou turned from ehr to the woman behind the desk. A fan rotated overhead. "So. What happened?" "Please, I think you should ask them. I did not go throught the fight." She pointed to the girls. "Fifth period had just ended. Ms. Hiyama doesn't like Akira-Ri. A girl in our class had started trouble, and we knew Ms. Hiyame saw the girl do it. But she still blamed Akira-Ri. She called her after, but I stayed like any good sister would. Hiyame said she would be putting a bad mark on her report card. Akira-Ri asked why, and the teacher called her a 'stupid, worhtless slut not worthy of this school'. Akira-Ri said something under her breath, but I didn't hear-" "I told her this was a school for refined, young woman. Not b*&^$es and w&*^%s like herself." Muttered Akira-Ri. "Oh. Anyway, after she said that, Hiyame punched her. Akira naturally defended herself." She stopped. "That's what happened?" Mr. Ishiyama asked his girls. Both Nodded in agreemnt. "Akira-Ri has a cute on her cheek, a gash in her chest, and another gash down her arm. I bandaged her cuts, but when she stood up, she hurt alot. Akira-Ri, as I told her, may have a few broken ribs. She was knocked into a few desks." Masha threw a you-should-have-went-to-the-hospital look at Akira-Ri. The girl shook her hand and winced slightly. "Good thing it is the beggining of summer break. They both can go home and get some rest, and Ms. Hiyame will be 'retiring'." The Headmistress smiled, "And good news. Here are your excelent report cards." The girls took them and looked them over as they got onto the bus. "As soon as we get home," Said Ryuou looking at her."We shall be going to the hospital. And if you do have broken ribs, off your feet. No matter what, understood, my little Houou?" "Yes sir." Cam her reply. "Little Oukami, when we get home, I want you to take shower. You're covered in...?" Ryou broke off. "Chalk. I went into the chalkboard." She replied lamely. "I see." Ryou stopped the bus, they were infront of the hospital. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There, now the chapter is finsihed! ~^^~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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| arndisb | Jan 23 2005, 08:39 PM Post #42 |
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The most powerful sorceress there ever was
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It's so cool Nakira...all of the chapters are so cool....keep it up....... |
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| nessi | Jan 23 2005, 08:47 PM Post #43 |
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Elite
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Cool chappie!^^ I wish I could update as often as you. x_x Keep up the good job!^^ |
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| lyrikkal | Jan 23 2005, 10:51 PM Post #44 |
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return those bitter days
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I can't wait to read more! x___x That was an awesome chapter btw.
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| Sinia | Jan 25 2005, 01:15 PM Post #45 |
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I can save the Universe with a kettle and some string, and look
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Thank you! Thank you one and all! ~^^~ |
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(But by posting, you give others the right to criticize the way they wish, so don't take anything personally.) Write more soon! ^__^
2:40 PM Jul 11