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What I Did On My Summer Vacation
Topic Started: Aug 20 2017, 04:37 PM (41 Views)
The Whether Man
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Would you believe besides catching a cold I caught up on creative writing? Here's a comic industry/super hero cartoon/classic comedy spoof I whipped up as a takeoff on current events --

CTUSCOIC : Countdown To Ultimate Secret Crisis Of Infinite Continuities!

1 "The Peril And The Power"


The threat of empire lust heading westward engulfing 'civilized' cultures rears its ugly head, as from his subterranean control center deep in the bowels of a secret bunker, somewhere beneath the steel and brick of a nondescript tower in the northern capital of a bifurcated SE Asian country, a dastardly rogue hatches his most fiendish plot yet


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The Hollow Menace (none too bright bastard son of Chu 'Yellow Terror' Manfu)

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Doctor Disorder, His Right Hand Man / Mad Scientist Strategist

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His Horsemen Henchmen Militia
General Nuisance - Sergeant Snafu - Major Cockup - Colonel Confusion

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AND Earth's Mightiest Protectors, THE POWER PROS


In an effort to both destabilize the free world and ripen Western civilization for conquest, Hollow Menace manages to obtain the legendary 'Canon Crystal,' an ancient artifact said to hold the key to coherency (and/or lack thereof) in realities

Doctor Disorder determines reductive neutrino bombardment of the crystal into fragments creates quantities of the element "Discordium" in good measure for creating an arsenal of bombs to erase mankind from existence but nothing else

As the news spreads and polite societies reel from the Hollow Menace and his global "Retcon Bomb" threat, ***The call goes out to Earth's Mightiest Protectors***

To 'divide and conquer' the Power Pros, Hollow Menace dispatches Doctor Disorder and his four Horsemen henchmen armed with miniaturized 'De-Canonizer' cannons, powered by crystal shards, each to separate locations across the Western world

Sans their combined might and every D-C cannon blast causing the boys to switch to alternative versions of themselves, will all the disorienting repetitious reality shifts ultimately mark the end of the line for our heroic team? -Perish the thought!--

Just as it seems infinitely-pronged continuity errors and snarls will get the best of the Pros, in a twist of irony the prolonged exposure to residual retcon radiation from their cannon's crystal shards causes the unprincipled foes to blink out of existence.

2 "The Crystal Maze"

The Power Pros regroup and Wild Man, using his marvelous birobonic grip, fuses the recovered shards together restoring the Canon Crystal to normal. Back to their usual selves with the bonus of retaining memories from their parallel universe versions, in another twist the team uses them to glean the location of Hollow Menace's secret lair

Meep Man: 'What's he talking about?'

Wild Man: 'I don't remember anything!'

Middle Man: 'You never did know anything'

Owly Man: 'Spread out, you lamebrains! Let me handle this! So, are you gonna tell us where he is, Mr. Narrator or do me and the boys tear your tonsils out?'

Stinky Man: 'Oh, you crazy!'

The Narrator: 'OK, OK!'

What they don't know is back in SE Asia, Doctor Disorder and the 4 Horsemen blink back into existence and upon learning plot "A" was foiled and the jig is up in a last ditch effort the tyrannically insecure man-child hatches his next fiendish threat ever

Doctor Disorder determines if all the Discordium in the bombs is put back in the retcon reactor, set to overload, it will open a continuity black hole that will wipe out all reality. With the bastard's blessing and the 4 Horsemen's help, he sets the "B" plot process in motion but before they complete the job, the Power Pros arrive --

The boys engage the 4 Horsemen but are held off long enough Doctor Disorder flips the switch, with what-all fuel already in the reactor in 60 seconds the resulting rift will be big enough to retcon the entire solar system. Surely the end is here?

Not so fast! Having brains and brawn, a quick witted Wild Man tosses the Canon Crystal in, crisis reversed and averted -

Wild Man: 'Huh?!'

Owly Man: 'This is no time to act stupid'

Wild Man: 'Who's acting?'

Owly Man: 'You chowderhead! You heard what he said! Toss the thingamajig'

Wild Man: 'Ok, here goes! BOMBS AWAY'

"U NOT beat ME!" Stupidly clutching the remaining fuel intent on re-igniting the rift, Hollow Menace futily scurries up to the open reactor chute as the crystal absorbs the retcon radiation in it, his direct Discordium exposure traps him in the Canonical Event Horizon, dooming him to an eternity of unreality spent hopelessly on the tortured edge of existence in a maze of his own making....

And SO, WITH the cosmos returned to order, Doc D and the Horsemen captured and all encased in Carbonite, and the would-be planetary ruler suffering an even worse yet fully apropos fate, ridiculously happy hordes around the world pour into streets and avenues with a resounding 'Hip Hip HOORAY' in honor of the savers of the day

Owly Man: 'OK, that's our cue, boys. Time to fly off into the sunset.'

Middle Man: 'But it's the middle of the day'

Owly Man: 'Oh, a clock watcher, eh? Why, I oughta...'

Wild Man: 'I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!'

Meep Man: 'What's the matter?'

Stinky Man: 'Nothing. He's got his eyes closed'

Wild Man: 'Oh, so THAT's it? I thought it was an eclipse'

Owly Man: 'Yeah? I'll eclipse you, you morons!' (QUADRUPLE HEAD SMACK)

Protecting Earth and its "Good Havens" is ALL IN A day's work for THE POWER PROS

-- Never The End

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