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| Canadian Sarcasm | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 30 2012, 09:17 PM (72 Views) | |
| Skookum | Jun 30 2012, 09:17 PM Post #1 |
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AsVancouver was hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, here are some silly questions that were asked by people from all over the world. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Web site. Obviously the answers are not to be taken seriously, but the questions were indeed asked and are now another addition to the collection of Canadian jokes! Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England) A: What, did your last slave die? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. How do you spell Canada? Answer: C-Eh!-N-Eh!-D-Eh! This Canadian joke originated as follows: The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was "Cold North Dominion," but that was too long, so they abbreviated it to C.N.D. The King's Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, but they didn't say a word. "Well, what do you think?" asked the Royal Governor? "C, eh?" said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor. "N, eh?" says the second guy. "D, eh?" says a third one. Then silence. "Hey," says the Governor. "I like that. It's a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way." And that's how Canada got its name. 
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| Mirage | Jul 1 2012, 02:22 AM Post #2 |
Infinite One
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Very dry. Good find, Skookum!
Edited by Mirage, Jul 1 2012, 02:23 AM.
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 I find fear to be an unproductive filter through which to view the world. ~ Sherlock | |
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| Navi | Jul 1 2012, 03:10 AM Post #3 |
Just an odd bit of Universal Fluff
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 Loved 'em. |
My choice? All the way down the rabbit hole!High Road Low Road | |
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| Sean_ | Jul 1 2012, 09:20 AM Post #4 |
Infinite One
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Now you guys know where i get my sense of humour from. Hang on, i need to patch my igloo again. |
It has happened before. It will happen again.  | |
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| earthist | Jul 1 2012, 11:32 AM Post #5 |
Geezer
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I didn't know they had hippo races in Canada. Wow! Learn something new every day. Thanks, Skook. 
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If you treat everyone like a criminal, pretty soon, everyone will become a criminal. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. My Blog | |
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| grumpychick | Jul 1 2012, 06:02 PM Post #6 |
Moon over NV
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 Those are great! |
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"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." - Katharine Hepburn. "I carried a watermelon." - Frances Houseman "Everyone deserves the chance to FLY!" - Elphaba Thropp | |
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| Kamalam | Jul 2 2012, 05:05 PM Post #7 |
Advanced Boop
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Skookum, you have outdone yourself!! (In honor of Canada, I'm typing this naked). :can-fireworks:  |
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