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Down and Out (of TP); Oscar's debut and great adventure
Topic Started: Sep 7 2016, 10:28 AM (103 Views)
The Iron Wolf
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2Legit2Quit
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Five stepped out of the tent on his little slice of Dibshire heaven, yawning and stretching in the early morning sun. Phil was still asleep and still would be for some time, if his snores were any indication, tearing through the air like automatic weapon fire. Rubbing the back of his neck, Five gave it a couple of cracks, still sore from sleeping on the ground. He needed a bedroll, and probably a few other things, to make the tent home.

A few quick squeaks sounded as another small head popped out of the tent. On his return to Bucket Town, Five had apparently earned the respect of some Rat King, and now this one brown rat wouldn't leave him alone. Rat friend or rat foe, the thing stayed with him almost 24/7, so he had named it Oscar. Oscar seemed to give a yawn of his own before scurrying to climb up Five and settle on his shoulder. Ready now, the duo let the sand and dirt crunched underfoot as they stomped a trail through town to the well.

Five couldn't tell if Bucket Town ever really slept, but people were still doing stuff and looked like they'd been doing it all night and would keep doing it till the next night. La Ranchero was bustling, with a group of athletic looking dudes stepping out and exclaiming how they couldn't believe it was morning, or how they had a teacher or something who worked there. Sounded like part of some high school comedy movie, Five thought as he shook his head, passing them to get to the well.

The water was lukewarm and stale, and tasted more like the bucket he was drinking it out of than it should. But water was water, and he wondered if water tasted differently anywhere else as he filled his canteen before letting Oscar drink his fill. Leaving the bucket on the edge of the well, Five felt a certain rumbling from deep within his loins. Like some kind of antelope or gazelle, he bounded through the town, Oscar barely keeping hold with his tiny little claws and his cute little tail.

Finally there it is, the outhouse. on the outskirts of the tent-city it stands, resolute against the onslaught of the years and the stench it emits. Five had spent years getting used to the scent of blood and death, but the smell emanating from that wooden box was almost enough to break his will. Defiantly, he placed one foot in from of the other, and soon enough he was seated and concluding his business. That's when he realized it.

There was no more toilet paper.
Five Two -HC-
7.5.7.4.5.7.5 Lvl:5 K/D:35/0
BT +25, BY -25 CR +25
Inventory: Confederate Rough Leather Armor (T2),Confederate Renegade Jacket (T2), Confederate Repeater (T2), Deuce-Shot Pistol (T2/GC), Swamper Blow Dart Set (T1/GC), and much more...

Emile Arkwright
6.7.6.5.7.6.3 Lvl:2
Inventory: Post-War Formal Wear (T1), Homburg Hat, Corn-cob pipe, Twin Rudimentary Revolvers (T1), Dagger (T1), water skin, .357 rounds (x30)
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The Iron Wolf
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2Legit2Quit
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
This was it. This was the end of times. He couldn't go back to his tent unwiped, and he wasn't wearing enough cloth to rip strips from. Five rested his elbows on his knees and began to ponder his life to this point, wondering if he'd be content to let it end here. Of course, the answer was a resounding no, punctuated by a strong breeze blowing through the cracks of the outhouse door, riling up the stench yet again.

"This is it Oscar." Five told the rat. "I'm out of options. It's either give umps dignity or give up on life." He slammed his fist into the boards of the wall. "If only I could get more from somewhere, but I can't leave and I can't call for help." Five set his hand back on his leg. This was a puzzle, and it might take him a while, but he was going to solve it.

Oscar, meanwhile, had been squeaking his head off during Five's ultimatum, and at the end, had done something very close to shaking his little rat head and then skedaddling out the cracks in the outhouse boards. Five watched the rat go with mild interest. He was deep in a train of thought, only the train had a half trained conductor, limited crew, and was running out of railroad tracks fast.

He'd think of something.

****

It had indeed been quite the sight, thought Oscar, bearing witness to his owner and friend in such a troubled state. Verily, it had left an imprint forever upon his psyche, which would never fully recover. Nonetheless, twas quite the adventure he had now become conscripted for, a veritable foray into Terra Incognita for the intrepid rodent.

"Oh devils," Oscar squeaked to himself, having now passed within the limits of the Town of Buckets. "Wherefore am I to procure wastecloths for mine accomplice?" Twas a question what vexed him so, one which he pondered, his nose aquiver, hither and dither, seeking out such parcels as would not be missed. "Mine eyes shall not fall upon such bounties as they seek from without, and therefore, I must invariably venture within." The rat decided, scurrying to the nearest series of accommodations, fervently praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe that that which he sought was within.
Five Two -HC-
7.5.7.4.5.7.5 Lvl:5 K/D:35/0
BT +25, BY -25 CR +25
Inventory: Confederate Rough Leather Armor (T2),Confederate Renegade Jacket (T2), Confederate Repeater (T2), Deuce-Shot Pistol (T2/GC), Swamper Blow Dart Set (T1/GC), and much more...

Emile Arkwright
6.7.6.5.7.6.3 Lvl:2
Inventory: Post-War Formal Wear (T1), Homburg Hat, Corn-cob pipe, Twin Rudimentary Revolvers (T1), Dagger (T1), water skin, .357 rounds (x30)
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The Iron Wolf
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2Legit2Quit
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Oscar yet again dodged a glass which had been hurled at him by another person which had seen his intrusion into their domicile to be quite the most monstrous thing possible, and had been harried away from place to place like a leper. "Woe is me." Oscar lamented, huffing and squeaking as he rested wearily beneath the eaves of the adjacent accommodation. "Tis no great trouble to be monstrous when monstrosity is required, but to reveal yourself as a fellow soul in this heavenly body to another, then one must appear as less than monstrous."

He was still nowhere close to achieving his end of finding suitable bathroom tissue for the one who was addressed by himself and others as Five, a pseudonym of some sort undoubtedly. His own rat brethren had only heard his request before sauntering off to wallow in whatever black hole from whence they had crept. And so Oscar sought onward, his little pink nose wiggling it's way forward.

Mayhap he should try to follow a scent similar to the one he had encountered whilst beginning the quest, the rotten stench of human waste. Indeed, such a stench should lead to a veritable garden of eden for the procurement of such commodities. And, his heart steeled for that which he must avail himself to, Oscar began once again to seek such a horrid odor.

**********************

Either Five's hallucinations were starting to come back (which hadn't happened in a while) or the fumes were beginning to effect him. "Do you have today's copy of the Washington Times?" He asked the man sitting beside him on the train, before remembering he didn't know that newspaper, or even what a train was. The apparition vanished like a fart in the wind, which it almost certainly was.

Five grumbled to himself as he began losing feeling in his legs. "Great. I'm going to lose my mind before I die in the shitter." He pondered for a moment. "Maybe no one is around, and I can just go home unseen." The idea bore merit. He raised himself on unsteady legs to peek out of a crack in the door. Outside, the world bustled as adventurers went on adventures, and bakers baked, and drinkers drank, and people did what they did.

Falling back onto the seat, Five let out another groan of despair. This would be the end of him for sure, he thought, before another thought fired back with, oh no it ain't buddy boy. Would he make it? God and a rat only know.
Five Two -HC-
7.5.7.4.5.7.5 Lvl:5 K/D:35/0
BT +25, BY -25 CR +25
Inventory: Confederate Rough Leather Armor (T2),Confederate Renegade Jacket (T2), Confederate Repeater (T2), Deuce-Shot Pistol (T2/GC), Swamper Blow Dart Set (T1/GC), and much more...

Emile Arkwright
6.7.6.5.7.6.3 Lvl:2
Inventory: Post-War Formal Wear (T1), Homburg Hat, Corn-cob pipe, Twin Rudimentary Revolvers (T1), Dagger (T1), water skin, .357 rounds (x30)
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The Iron Wolf
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2Legit2Quit
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Now twas not merely a glass was projected at Oscar with violent force, but a firearm was sighted at his pour soul as he ran from the reeking edifice he had vacated, triumphantly wrapped snout to tail as a pharaoh of old in a soft pliable fabric he had witnessed the man with the firearm using to clean off his posterior. Oscar was not a genius, he would indeed be the first to profess himself a novice in many of life's mysteries, but even he could ascertain the purpose, and it was indubitably that which he sought.

Another round was fired at him, evaporating the dirt beside him in an explosion bearing the heavy stench of gunpowder. "You'll get yers, ye little varmint." The neanderthal hollered, obviously his skills of higher reasoning subpar. Oscar wished himself but a brief moment in which to attempt to imbue but a fraction of what which he had learned over the course of his brief existence, though he feared it would be lost upon one such as this. Thankfully he was returning to his allies, the indomitable and fearless one and the intelligent resourceful one. Though, as he ruminated upon such thoughts, he considered whether they were in fact merely a foolhardy and reckless one, and an arrogant smartass.

Diving through the gap in planks he had entered through, Oscar felt the region he had previously entertained with his being to dissipate in a shower of splinters. The crawlspace as a straight run to the end, and as the blessed light of day neared, Oscar queried to himself, "Forsooth, whyfore hast I taken upon myself this task of such deadly daring-do?" Though he found himself racing through the thoroughfare before having a chance to answer. Indeed, he must seem quite the sight to behold, wrapped such as he was. Hearing the door to the domicile he had pilfered the tissue from slam open, he set his heart upon the course. Racing nose forward, Oscar ran for his life toward the stench of the waste closet.

*************************

"And the Cubs win the World Series!" Five cried out, jumping out of his seat in the stands and storming the field with the rest of the crowd. "History in the making! The drought has ended!" He trailed off, realizing he was drooling crosseyed on the wall beside him, slumped in defeat. This was it. Hallucinating some of histories greatest moments that he didn't even know about. That was how he'd die.

Suddenly, there was movement in the bottom corner of the outhouse. Oscar was back, and for some reason he looked like the kind of thing that a dead person would be. Like, one of them sand kings Phil talked about. Probably a hallucination still, Five reach out to grab the fake rat. Surprisingly, he could feel it in his hand, real. And the stuff it was wrapped up in- Toilet Paper. Five was tearing up as he pulled it off the rat. "Oh you stupid little angel. How'd you get wrapped up in this stuff? Leave it to me to get the dumbest rat of the bunch. Thank god you came back here with this though."

Wiping himself and setting the unfortunately imbecilic rat on his shoulder, Five stood up on legs he thought he'd never use again. Kicking open the door, Five stepped out of the outhouse. He took a deep breath. Then another. As he took in the good air and exhaled the bad, he realized just how close he had been to losing it. Thank goodness his dumb rat was able to find its way back, and with that tp. It felt like that dump had taken months.

Phil was walking up to them as he continued breathing. "Hey, I was looking for you. Words going around that there was a mummy rat running through town. There's a hunt going on for it, and I feel like it'd be fun to do. Something to keep us occupied." He adjusted his glasses and shrugged his shoulders. Really, the fact he was so tall was disconcerting, and Five didn't even know what that word meant.

"Sure why not." Oscar seemed hesitant for some reason, but Five figured he just had no idea what was going on. Cause he was a rat. "I've got an idea too. Let's find the daddy rat and see if he'll help us find the mummy rat." The words were barely out of his mouth before Phil and Oscar both gave a heavy sigh. Five had no idea why. It was a great idea.
Five Two -HC-
7.5.7.4.5.7.5 Lvl:5 K/D:35/0
BT +25, BY -25 CR +25
Inventory: Confederate Rough Leather Armor (T2),Confederate Renegade Jacket (T2), Confederate Repeater (T2), Deuce-Shot Pistol (T2/GC), Swamper Blow Dart Set (T1/GC), and much more...

Emile Arkwright
6.7.6.5.7.6.3 Lvl:2
Inventory: Post-War Formal Wear (T1), Homburg Hat, Corn-cob pipe, Twin Rudimentary Revolvers (T1), Dagger (T1), water skin, .357 rounds (x30)
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identicalcurve
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Mad King of the Salmon
[ *  *  *  * ]
As this is a fairly short rp ill keep the grade short.

QUALITY: Despite a few minor spelling issues there are no major glaring flaws.

QUANTITY: This rp is a little short, but that is to be expected of a one-off like this.

USAGE: There's not really a lot of action here, but again it is to be expected.

REALITY: Despite the intelligent and sentient mouse this is fine.

ENJOYABILITY: I thoroughly enjoyed this rp.


QUALITY: 3/4
QUANTITY2/4
USAGE1/2
REALITY2/2
ENJOYABILITY2/2


TOTAL SCORE: 10/14

REWARDS:
A stolen roll of toilet paper.
Jamison "Jay" Reynolds
Special: S-5 P-5 E-5 C-5 I-7 A-* L-5
Inventory: Rudimentary Revolver, Pipe Rifle, Duster Coat, and Cowboy Hat.
Traits: Good Natured, Sex Appeal (Straight), Revolving Killer. White Oak Baseball Bat Stake (Teir 2 poor.) (Ownership of a mostly destroyed 57 Bellaire {Roof and frame intact)}
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I Hope You're Satisfied.
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