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| James Darnok | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 5 2013, 08:59 AM (164 Views) | |
| Carmana | Dec 5 2013, 08:59 AM Post #1 |
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Vault idiot
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Character Name: James Darnok Character Stats: S: 7 P: 5 E: 4 C: 6 I: 7 A: 6 L: 5 Character Race: Human Approx. age: 18 Character Personality: James is a calm and calculating person, rarely missing a beat when it comes to things like hacking computers, picking locks, and even social issues. He is cold and ruthless when in combat, often showing no mercy, killing his enemies with shear brute force and strategy, but when he is alone or with friends he is a very relaxed guy, chatting and joking like anyone else. He is over protective and instinctively tries to take on a 'big brother' sort of roll when in a group. Despite his usually calm nature, he does have an explosive temper and it runs on a short fuse, if you hurt his friends, you will be hurting soon after. Raiders beware if you are spotted by the 'Red Claw'. Some might call him 'unstable', others call him 'a menace to everyone around him'. He doesn't get mad over it though, because he knows why they say stuff like that. He has always been a bit paranoid and untrusting, often keeping to himself or the group he may be in at the time, and his temper doesn't help people's view of him at all. James is bipolar, which, once again, does not help, this causes him to become overly emotional, not many know it, but James has always worn his heart on his sleeve, just below that chip on his shoulder. He has a great respect for the Brotherhood of Steel. Character Appearance: James is a rather tall boy, standing at about 5ft 8in. He is thin and pale skinned, his brown hair is medium length, it is usually in a somewhat messy style, he has a scraggly beard and a thin mustache. His eyes are a milk chocolate brown with emerald green swirled in. James has a few scars covering his body. He has a cut on his left cheek and a slash over his right eye. His upper back is burned from a raider's flamer, and his right hand has a skull shaped brand on it, leaving the skin around it red. There is a large bruise on his right knee, he limps slightly on that leg when he walks, it doesn't hinder him too much, though it does hurt when he climbs stairs or any sort of ledge that requires him to step onto it with that leg first, but over all it is just annoying to him. For casual wear, James wears a pair of purple pre-war tennis shoes, pre-war blue jeans, and usually a black t-shirt. He wears a belt made of red cloth, with a pre-war seatbelt buckle for...well, what else...the buckle. James has three dog tags hanging from his belt. He wears a black leather jacket with a red stripe wrapped around it, and he is never seen without the ring on his right middle finger, the cross and chain necklaces around his neck, and the chain link bracelet around his right wrist. Starting equipment: Homemade Laser Pistol, Baseball Bat. Tattered leather Jacket. Character Story: James was born in Bucket Town, his mother and father were active hunters who helped supply the town with food, because of this, James learned to shoot rather easily. His parents never forced him in one direction or the other when it came down to how he wanted to live his life, this gave him a great opportunity to become his own person. He would always be reading pre-war books on science and weapons, or tinkering with small electronics and machines in his spare time, his parents were actually very proud to have such a son. The only major downside to this was that James didn't really have a lot of opportunity to make friends, he usually stayed inside or was out looking for spare parts. As James got older, he felt the need to balance out his brain power with physical power, in order to do this he decided to start playing sports. He joined up with a group of kids who played baseball every Saturday, and, after a few games, it turned out that he was already just as strong as he was smart. He kept playing till he was 12 years old, and stopped so he could continue helping his family. As weeks passed, his parents kept talking about a group called, The Brotherhood of Steel, and James was completely fascinated by the concept of a group centered around technology. Somewhere along the line, James had developed a habit of going up to the roof of his house at night to watch the sky, and one night he got far more than he had expected. He was laying back on the roof, arms behind his head, looking up at the moon and the stars, when he heard something, it sounded like laser fire. James looked over the edge of his roof and gasped at what he saw, three Brotherhood Paladins, one on the ground, a large gash in the side of his armor, with the other two in front of him, firing laser rifles. James looked in the direction they were firing in, three dead Deathclaws were on the ground, with two more being shot at by the Paladins, James watched this bloody scene with great eagerness, couldn't help but let out a whoop of happiness when the last of the death claws finally fell, the downed Paladin turned his head in the direction of the sound, and James just sat there on his roof, the Paladin gave him a nod. As the two healthy Paladins carried their wounded brother back to base, James lay back down on the roof, and spent that night out under the stars. Less than three years had passed since the night of the fight with the Deathclaws, and it was now James' 15th birthday. He, his family, and his old baseball team, all got together and celebrated, James had been waiting for this day for a long time, he was finally old enough to start traveling on his own. He opened his presents one by one and smiled wider with each. After the party, he said his good byes, gathered his gear, which at the time had been a 10mm pistol and a switchblade, and left out into the wastes. He traveled without incident for a solid month, gathering some decent loot too! But then, as that first month drew to a close, he was caught by a group of raiders, he killed a few but there were too many, he was captured, stripped of all his gear, and sent to work in one of the raider slave camps, where his right hand was branded with a skull. For two long and grueling years, James was forced to do some of the most unspeakable things for the raiders, and with each passing day his hatred for them grew. But everything changed on his 18th birthday, the day he got free. James and all the slaves in the camp had been called into the central area, James gasped at what was waiting for them, it was and execution, a female slave had accidentally dropped the tools she was using for her task, and had been 'too slow' to pick them up. The slave in question was one that James had gotten to know very well, they had actually been developing a relationship, and as the raider leader raised his shotgun to the slave's head, James rushed forward, trying to stop him. He was too late, the slaves body hit the ground, and James felt his heart break, and that wasn't the only thing that broke, James' limit had been reached. He yelled out at the top of his lungs, and tackled the raider nearest him to the ground, beating him senseless, he took the raider's rifle and started shooting, picking off raiders one by one, rage having subsided to a cold contempt, other slaves joined in, grabbing anything they could find and beating their captors to death, slave and raider alike were fighting for their lives, but the raiders were out numbered, and the slaves had a lot more motivation than the raiders did. Soon only the raider leader was still there, most of the vile savages had run away, and the other slaves surrounded the leader and James, creating a circle for them to finish the fight in. The leader of the raider camp went down slower than the average raider, but he went down none the less. He had underestimated James because he looked so weak, and that meant that he had not braced himself properly for James' first strike. James picked up the raiders shotgun, and pointed it at the leader's head, looking him dead in the eyes with a look of unimaginable hate, and pulled the trigger, ending the man's pathetic excuse of a life. James looted the camp, making his new outfit, including the dog tags, three slaves had been military, including the slave he had loved. James found some old electronic components, and made a homemade laser pistol, he etched the brotherhood symbol into the side, and named the gun 'brother'. He did the etching with the bat he found as well, as a sign of respect for the brothers who had inspired him that night when the Deathclaws fell. He left the camp, and buried the slave's body when he got back to his home town. It has been three long months since that day, and now he is about to leave the town of Bucket once again. Character strengths and weaknesses: James has always been good with anything technical, though he has gotten more than a few electrical burns before, but that has only served to make him better at what he does. He may seem like a skinny little twig when you look at him, but if you need some heavy hitting or lifting, he can help you out. Not saying he isn't good with mental tasks as well, he has had some good practice with hacking and lock picking. He has a gift with fire arms in general, and his hatred for raiders makes him even more deadly when there is a gun of some sort in his hands. But his real strength, is how, even after all the things he has seen, he manages to keep sane most of the time, and has actually been known to become cold and robotically efficient in battle. But James isn't perfect, not by a long shot. His bipolar disorder causes him to become too attached to things, be them people, places, or items. This can lead to him being forced to do things he wouldn't normally do, IF someone can get ahold of something/someone that he cares about. Then there is his temper, being someone who gets mad easily, he can get reckless, often times when this happens, he ends up hurting himself or others, and then when he calms down he feels so bad for loosing his temper that he goes into a form of depression. He doesn't just have mental and emotional weaknesses, physically he is thinner that normal for his age, even in the wastes, and while he can still carry quite a bit more than expected, he gets worn down a bit quicker in combat, meaning that he has to finish fights quickly. He also has chronic pain coming from the large burn on his back, this spot is also a weak point if hit in battle. His right knee is another weak point like this, but instead of chronic pain, he has to make sure he doesn't turn quickly when weight is on that leg, or his knee will pop in a way that sends him down for a bit. Up to three Traits: finesse, improv artist, small frame |
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James Darnok SPECIAL: 7 5 4 6 7 6 5 Lvl: 1 Equipment: Homemade Laser Pistol, Baseball Bat Armor: Pre-War Mashup, Tattered Leather Jacket Inventory: | |
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| Zilabus | Dec 5 2013, 04:34 PM Post #2 |
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Er'ry day I'm overseein'
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Well I will spare you the majority of an analysis just because we've talked a bit about it in the chat. All in all though I think you've put together a pretty solid character here, at least from a nuts-and-bolts perspective. He needed a little polish and you where good about putting the work in that needed to be done. That's typically the most important factor, and it's good to see that you worked with the advice you're given. Like I said, I won't go into a very deep analysis on it, but again I think you have a good amount of content here and your nuts and bolts as a writer are quite polished. Although not the freshest concept for a story, it was told fairly well, and although there are some less than perfect elements, I think as a whole it is quite good for a first character and your work changing this application shows me you have promise as time goes on and as your character can develop over RPs. But yeah, that was a longwinded way of saying, You pass! This topic is going to be moved to the database. There you will be expected to keep track of your character as their status changes due to injuries, new equipment, different appearances ect. This is also a great place to keep track of missions he's been on which will help other people find the stories he's been in easily. This topic is also a great to talk about your character and the direction you want to take him with other people. You are encouraged to place your character stats and info in your signature like I have and most of the members here have done as well. Browse through a few users signatures to get the idea of what to do. Have fun out there in hell! |
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Eli "Slim" Ambrose SPECIAL: 3, 9, 2, 7, 9, 3, 7 Level: 5 Bucket town reputation: -175 Equipment Weaponry: Molotov, Cherry bombs, Combat Knife, Laser pistol, Tack Mines, Smoke grenades, Syringes. Armor:Post-war suit Tattered leather jacket Inventory Homemade shotgun, Gumballs, Bedspread Mentats x3, Psycho x2, Jet x1, Wiskey x2, vodka 4 1/2 x Hides, 15 LSB dollars Appearance Caucasian Very tall, lanky, and slim, jet black hair in a greased into a subdued pompadore style. Dark eyes and a cleanshaven face. Brown Windowpane suit. Kelly "Featherweight" Capozzi | |
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4:55 PM Jul 10