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| Jon; The Mysterious Drifter | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 3 2013, 02:18 PM (235 Views) | |
| Jon | Dec 3 2013, 02:18 PM Post #1 |
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Vault idiot
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EDIT! Now with a much more elaborated... EVERYTHING! Character Name: Jon Character Stats: Strength- 6, Perception- 2, Endurance- 8, Charisma- 3, Intelligence- 9, Agility- 5 Luck- 7 Character Race: Ghoul Approx. age: 307 Character Personality: Before the War, albeit his harsh childhood, he was a happy boy most of the times. When he enrolled as a scientist in the Army, he became a bit more serious, and after the war, he fell into a deep depression because of his amnesia and sudden realisation that everyone he knew was killed, and he became a walking abomination. He is now distant, sad, and overall an alone character. He like being alone because he saw how people react to such differrences from the normal look, such as being Ghoul, and because of the sadness he can't seem to get rid of. The only things keeping him happy for a short time the very rare memories of his past life. Character Appearance: His apparel at time makes him look like a cloaked cult member or some such. He wears a sealed, modified Nupont chemical suit. He also wears a classic, Pre-war gas mask, a pair of black golves stuck onto the armor, A Cortical Voice Synthesizer he made as a prototype before the war, covered by a scavenged MP helmet. Armor, mask, gloves and boots all sealed. He used to have better armament and ammo, but after decades of usage, things tend to get weak. He lost most of his proeminent physical features behind that suit of his. The only things remaining of that kind are his slim and tall body archetype, and his dark green eyes that surprisingly have maintained most of their colour. The hint that leads to him being a Glowing One is the faint green glow coming from behind his gas mask's visor. Starting equipment: A rudimentary revolver and a somewhat sharpened kitchen knife. Character story: After Jon was born, his mother died, leaving him in the hands of his caring father, a friendly and loving person, who just wanted to make his son happy and well-raised as much as he can. His father's job wasn't a very rewarding one, so he didn't have enough money to send Jon to better public schools, but it didn't matter. Jon was very good at school and aced everything. But when he turned 15, his father passed away because of lung cancer, leaving Jon as an orphan. The only thing left from his dad was a trenchcoat that he gave him when he was younger. Until he finished high school, he lived in an orphanage, continuing to ace at school for his dad. When he finished high school, he afforded to go to a good college where he studied Nuclear Physics, Chemistry and Biomechanics. After finishing college as well, he went on and earned enough diplomas to join the US Army as a scientist. One notable invention of his was a prototype Cortical Voice Synthesizer, which allowed mute soldiers to communicate just by thinking, which he invented just before the Great War. On that 3rd of October, the bombs dropped, but he wasn't prepared. When a nuke hit the centre of his town, the rest of the city was killed and pulverized, leaving no man behind, except Jon. When he miraculously recovered from the blast, he looked around, and the truth struck him worse than the bomb: everyone he knew was killed along with everyone else. He was alone. He then looked at himself. He became an abomination, a walking lightbulb of radiation. Afraid of venturing too far unprotected, thinking that he might die breathing normal rad-free air, so he managed to find an intact SWAT armor along with a gas mask and some gloves. He modified them to withstand the radiation he emits and slipped them on. He put on the Voice Synthesizer, and then ventured out into the Wasteland that once was his home, trying to find memories of the Before Times, and his own history with it. He traveled, he visited, and he saw. He saw how humanity rose again from the ashes of it's own wars, how it started rebuilding it's home, and how it started waging war on itself once again. He just sat and watched. Character strengths and weaknesses: His strengths are the ability to sneak past enemies easily (how do you think he made it this far?), and his marksmanship abilities. His weaknesses are his constant depression and unstable emotional status, his staggering social departure, and his inabillity to carry any type of Big Guns. He also has a soft spot for machinery and robots, and is easily fooled, especially by more... Charismatic females. Aother weakness could be that, since his suit is pretty old and damaged, small amounts of radiation would leak from inside the suit, and every weapon he would use would break down faster. Traits: Creep, Marksman and Skilled. |
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Jon SPECIAL: 6 2 8 3 7 5 9 LEVEL 1 ARMOR: Damaged Nupont Chemical suit covered by a brown, dusty, worn and patched trenchcoat, black gloves glued to the suit Classic Gas Mask, Cortical Voice Synthesizer covered by MP helmet. ARSENAL: A rudimentary revolver and a kitchen knife. OTHER: He seems to care alot about his trenchcoat, maintaining it constantly. Brutally murders dogs who bite on it. Also, there seems to be a faint green glow from behind his mask's visor. Constantly makes sure that his suit is completely sealed. MORE DETAILED CHARACTER SHEET: z3.invisionfree.com/The_wastes/index.php?showtopic=1669&st=0#entry22303754 | |
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| Ronto | Dec 3 2013, 03:05 PM Post #2 |
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Capt. Procrastinate
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I'm just gonna leave these here.
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[align=center]Joe Pera 7,9,7,4,5,5,3 Level: 1 [/align] | |
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| Johnny | Dec 4 2013, 11:35 AM Post #3 |
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Scavenger
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Hey Jon, welcome to the site. I'm not a mod so I can't actually grade or pass your character but I do have some tips for you. First I would just point out that for your Character's Personality, you should really beef it up, use full sentences and paint a more detailed image for us. Imagine painting and image and the words you use are your paints, the more words you use the more color and details that we begin to see and in the end, the more interesting your character becomes. Same with Appearance, that subject should be at least 3 paragraphs long. In the same manner, really describe what he looks like. This can be one of the hardest parts, especially for a ghoul, but also don't be afraid to tell us what he would look like without the armor. Talk about his height, gait, girth, and muscularity. Show us what you picture him as in your mind. Describe all that you see when you close your eyes and picture him. I would like to see this so detailed a Forensic Artist could come to this site and draw a picture of him using your details and it would look exactly like how you picture him. Think of the character customization in the Fallout games, you can change everything from height of your cheek bones to size of your nose. Keep working on this part. Now on to equipment. Here is a link to the Items page. Here you can find your weapons and armor to choose from. As a starting character you have to choose a Tier 1 but soon you will rise through the tiers and you can obtain some of the more advanced items. Character Story: This should be at least 4 paragraphs long, make sure you break up your posts into paragraphs. I like to do a double space or triple space to break up my paragraphs. This makes it much easier for the grader to read and organize. This is the same as the others, use as much detail as possible. Imagine a story and let it unfold before us. If I asked you to tell me about the timeline of your life, the events you would list would be colossal! In the same fashion, help us out here and make a really detailed back story. Maybe talk about how he showed up in Bucket Town or whichever town he is starting in. Make it detailed and make it believable too. I would say read over the rules a bit, make sure you got them all. There are a lot but in the end they are there to benefit your writing. And lastly it looks like we are down to strengths and weaknesses. This should be 2 paragraphs, one for strengths and one for weaknesses ideally. For this I really want you to vamp up your weaknesses. It's easy to make a character good at a lot of things but to give a character weakness shows strength in the writer. Take myself for example, I can sit here and tell you all the things I'm good at, or how handsome I am (I am), or how I once defeated the evil spirit Chtulu (may be an exaggeration) but it takes more strength for me to say all the things I am not good at. And in the end, do my strengths make me a person? Somewhat, but they don't show my whole story. So give him some weaknesses, maybe hes not an accurate shooter, maybe he is arrogant or strong-headed, or maybe he can't carry very much. My point is that, although I like how you mentioned he can't wield Big Guns and gets depressive, you should delve into that a little deeper. Maybe he becomes an alcoholic or shoots up with Med-X when he gets depressed. Or maybe he is always depressed. I made a character once, and I did the same thing. I said maybe sometimes he get "____" but the problem was, I never implemented his weakness. It became a crutch that I could say he had a weakness but it never really affected him in the stories I told. Edit: Also these are the traits that we use. Just scroll down a little. Basically I want you to go back and do as I corrected you on but also imagine you writing stories about him. You need to be able to implement his strengths and weaknesses, his background story and his appearances into these tales that you tell. I know it seems like a lot and it is a daunting task,, but later on you will appreciate this a lot more because your character will be able to develop as you tell us these stories. Welcome to the site, I hope you enjoy your time here. |
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James O'Connor Level: 1 Bucket Town Reputation: 10 Special: 4,7,4,8,5,7,5 _________________________________________________ Patrick Flynn Level: 1 Bucket Town Reputation: +25 Special: 4,8,4,4,5,8,7 | |
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| Jon | Dec 4 2013, 04:32 PM Post #4 |
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Vault idiot
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Thanks for the tips Johnny! But the armor I recommend to keep. Although it's supposed to be pretty protective, Jon basically melted in the suit, so when he gets shot, it's almost like it's hitting his skin, if it would be a bit harder. Plus, years and years of using it made it not that protective anymore, so there's another drawback, turning the big and OP SWAT armor into nothing more than a a-little-harder-than-normal skin. Hope that made any sense. |
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Jon SPECIAL: 6 2 8 3 7 5 9 LEVEL 1 ARMOR: Damaged Nupont Chemical suit covered by a brown, dusty, worn and patched trenchcoat, black gloves glued to the suit Classic Gas Mask, Cortical Voice Synthesizer covered by MP helmet. ARSENAL: A rudimentary revolver and a kitchen knife. OTHER: He seems to care alot about his trenchcoat, maintaining it constantly. Brutally murders dogs who bite on it. Also, there seems to be a faint green glow from behind his mask's visor. Constantly makes sure that his suit is completely sealed. MORE DETAILED CHARACTER SHEET: z3.invisionfree.com/The_wastes/index.php?showtopic=1669&st=0#entry22303754 | |
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| Cewebwalz | Dec 4 2013, 06:52 PM Post #5 |
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Henshin a go-go baby
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Woah there friend I think we have a misunderstanding! Only tier one weaponry and equipment is allowed, I'll let the gasmask and synthesizer slide of course, but please reconsider the weaponry and SWAT armor at the very least. We have some adequate replacements of course! Weaponry topic! Armor topic! Johnny did a real good job going over the other stuff though, listen to him and post here when you finish rolling through those little fixes. |
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Jesse Winters - Penitentiary Pugilist 8(+2).5.7.5.5.8.4, Level: 4 -HC- Grace Van Vliet - Indie Incinerator 5.7.7.5.5.4.7, Level: 3 -HC-
full-sized avatar "What is Adderal, anyhow?" - Funky Fan | |
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| Jon | Dec 14 2013, 04:49 AM Post #6 |
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Vault idiot
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I hope this minor update is good enough. |
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Jon SPECIAL: 6 2 8 3 7 5 9 LEVEL 1 ARMOR: Damaged Nupont Chemical suit covered by a brown, dusty, worn and patched trenchcoat, black gloves glued to the suit Classic Gas Mask, Cortical Voice Synthesizer covered by MP helmet. ARSENAL: A rudimentary revolver and a kitchen knife. OTHER: He seems to care alot about his trenchcoat, maintaining it constantly. Brutally murders dogs who bite on it. Also, there seems to be a faint green glow from behind his mask's visor. Constantly makes sure that his suit is completely sealed. MORE DETAILED CHARACTER SHEET: z3.invisionfree.com/The_wastes/index.php?showtopic=1669&st=0#entry22303754 | |
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| Midnight Rider | Dec 14 2013, 03:56 PM Post #7 |
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The Super Cereal
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Okay you worked on the things we talked about. Your weaknesses are theoretically sufficient. Keep in mind that we will be paying attention to how well you play to them. If these issues are not coming up than your stories will likely take a grading penalty. Enough of that though. You pass! This topic is going to be moved to the database. There you will be expected to keep track of your character as their status changes due to injuries, new equipment, different appearances ect. This is also a great place to keep track of missions he's been on which will help other people find the stories he's been in easily. This topic is also a great to talk about your character and the direction you want to take him with other people. You are encouraged to place your character stats and info in your signature like I have and most of the members here have done as well. Browse through a few users signatures to get the idea of what to do. Have fun! |
![]() Gordon "Stone" Hennigan, SPECIAL: 5.6.9.3.5.10.3. Level: 6 HC Peter McCullough SPECIAL: 4, 4, 4, 10, 10, 4 , 4, Level 3 HC THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY The spirits have taken an interest in you for all the wrong reasons! Unexpected challenges will come to you during your RPs but the rewards doled out will be much juicier. It is possible to live with such a curse, but if you would rather live curse free, you could simply sell the corpse and wash your hands of the whole situation. Lmgthev: MBP is handsome LonesomeDrifter23: Sometimes I think MBP is a being made entirely of satire. | |
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