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| Aiden Pierce | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 8 2013, 10:36 PM (183 Views) | |
| Aiderp | Oct 8 2013, 10:36 PM Post #1 |
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Vault idiot
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Character Name: Aiden Pierce Character Stats: S-7 P-9 E-5 A-7 I-7 L-5 (All together this will add to 40.) Character Race: Human (Human, Ghoul) Approx. age: 19 Character Personality: Aiden, born and raised by his raider father and vault dweller mother, you can guess he's more in the neutral side with morality. He prefers the logical and opportunistic approach but will not do anything illegal nor immoral such as stealing from anyone but raiders, slavers, or evil cultists alike. He is quiet most of the time and would rather avoid contact with people. He keeps to himself when he does various bounties as he does for caps to survive. He does not discriminate against Ghouls or mutants. He prefers quiet, less noticable approaches to things. Never deviating from his original plan unless he finds it nessassary. His lust for a former love interest causes him to be wary of women that try to get close with him. His tone is a soft, yet confident tone. He speaks in short sentences, keeping the topic sweet and to the point, never including past relations. Or atleast trying not to. Character Appearance: Aiden has black hair, kids a like a surfer. He has a huge car running across his left eye down to his cheek. His skin is a dark, islander brown. He has brown eyes. His build is 5'9". His shoulders, stomach, legs, and arm muscles are well toned. His arms are bruised, cut, and scraped along with his legs and chest. His clothing consist of a pair of black cargo shorts, a black shirt, his mother's pipboy (updated to march his biometrics), and a plastic mask to cover his face(Much like J3T's mask from Hollywood Undead). His hands are covered with finger less gloves. His mask has a color scheme of a dark grey base, a red stripe on his left side, a filipino star on his right, and an engraving on the forehead saying Familia. During his later years he gained many wounds and scars. His first scar was listed above. On his torso he has two bullet wounds to his stomach, three on each of hiss shoulders, a huge cut in the middle and shrapenal that is visible on his back. On his legs his right thigh has a bullet wound, his left minor discoloration to his knee from acid.. Starting equipment: Aiden has a 9mm pistol, a knife with a rope atrached to it, and a pair of brass knuckles. Character story: As a child, Aiden never worried to much about the hellish ordeal of a wateland he was brought into. He always played as a child would. Loving his mother and father deeply. His mother taught him how to read, his father how to shoot and basic survival skills. He inherited his mother's pipboy at age 10, like most children did in the vault. But, instead of the vault he had the wastes to greet him. At the age of 12 his mother and father died by the hands of a tribe called the 'Hewawino' since they were at Hawaii at the time these men resorted back to their tribal natures of killing and pillaging. They took Aiden in as one of their own after he slaughtered their cheif for raping his mother before she died. As he reached the age of 15 he killed his tribemen from a psychotic episode. He then took a boat and though he could exile himself from the world, little did he know he would drift over to the NCR. Two years his voyage took, his first reaction to this world was excitment, couriousity. Having knowledge about barter and survival he quickly adapted to his new surroundings, changing from his tribal clothing to his new outfit. He took various bounties, courier jobs, and once was a body guard for freeside when he visited the Mojave. Throught the two years it took for him to travel to the setting this rp is based on. He has adapted, killed, and been shoot various times. He hasnt gotten used to the whole wasteland and bartering. We are now in the present, Aiden is currently wandering the area, looking for ways to earn caps to try and travel to the capitol wasteland, he keeps to himself and never harms nor helps the towns he visits. He wakes up in the middle of the desert, arms with his pistol and knife, he tries to find his way to any settlement. His gear, left due to strange metal men, shooting sunlight at him. His pistol having no effect to them he runs far away. Character strengths and weaknesses: Aiden's particularly good with melee, hand to hand, and pistols. He can handle firing a rifle but doesnt use them for their weight and size. His father's tribal stories and teaching as a raider helped him with survival, combatives, and shooting his pistol. His mother's lesson teached him about barter and how to read. He knows about barter and knows how to spend his caps wisely. He can not be a leader, he is only able to think for his own survival, not as a group. He is distant and does not have a major impact with people, causing his speech skill to be lowered. He has a soft spot for women, if they are in trouble or in need, his sexual desire doesnt help that either. And his lack of reputation leaves him unknown to most. It was very late when i typed it up, tell me what i need to improve on please. |
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| Midnight Rider | Oct 9 2013, 05:18 AM Post #2 |
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The Super Cereal
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Okay, well not bad for your first attempt. I do have a few notes for you to work on. The first one being your equipment, we have equipment tiers on this site. You can select 2 or 3 tier 1 weapons for yourself. Typically if they're small you get 3 if one of things is a big gun or two handed weapon you get two. Here's a link to our weapons selection. Make sure you also get yourself a set of tier 1 armor too. We also don't start with pipboys here, but you won't really need one so don't worry. Equipment aside the backstory needs to be longer and as a rule we do not directly reference other game locations and factions. I actually had to talk to another application yesterday about this, so it a common enough issue. If you want to talk about him being in the Mojave desert that's fine, but saying he was at Freeside is a different matter. You also could use a few more weaknesses, it seems a tad unbalanced. |
![]() Gordon "Stone" Hennigan, SPECIAL: 5.6.9.3.5.10.3. Level: 6 HC Peter McCullough SPECIAL: 4, 4, 4, 10, 10, 4 , 4, Level 3 HC THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY The spirits have taken an interest in you for all the wrong reasons! Unexpected challenges will come to you during your RPs but the rewards doled out will be much juicier. It is possible to live with such a curse, but if you would rather live curse free, you could simply sell the corpse and wash your hands of the whole situation. Lmgthev: MBP is handsome LonesomeDrifter23: Sometimes I think MBP is a being made entirely of satire. | |
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| Aiderp | Oct 9 2013, 01:16 PM Post #3 |
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Vault idiot
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Character Name: Aiden Pierce Character Stats: S-7 P-9 E-5 A-7 I-7 L-3 (All together this will add to 40.) Character Race: Human (Ghoul) Approx. age: 19 Character Personality: Aiden, born and raised by his raider father and vault dweller mother, you can guess he's more in the neutral side with morality. He prefers the logical and opportunistic approach but will not do anything illegal nor immoral such as stealing from anyone but raiders, slavers, or evil cultists alike. He is quiet most of the time and would rather avoid contact with people. He keeps to himself when he does various bounties as he does for caps to survive. He does not discriminate against Ghouls or mutants. He prefers quiet, less noticable approaches to things. Never deviating from his original plan unless he finds it nessassary. His lust for a former love interest causes him to be wary of women that try to get close with him. His tone is a soft, yet confident tone. He speaks in short sentences, keeping the topic sweet and to the point, never including past relations. Or atleast trying not to. Character Appearance: Aiden has black hair, cut like a surfer. He has a huge car running across his left eye down to his cheek. His skin is a dark, islander brown. He has brown eyes. His build is 5'9". His shoulders, stomach, legs, and arm muscles are well toned. His arms are bruised, cut, and scraped along with his legs and chest. His clothing consist an old Tribal Uniform he obtain from us ex-tribe mate and a plastic mask to cover his face(Much like J3T's mask from Hollywood Undead). His hands are covered with finger less gloves. His mask has a color scheme of a dark grey base, a red stripe on his left side, a filipino star on his right, and an engraving on the forehead saying Familia. During his later years he gained many wounds and scars. His first scar was listed above. On his torso he has two bullet wounds to his stomach, three on each of hiss shoulders, a huge cut in the middle and shrapenal that is visible on his back. On his legs his right thigh has a bullet wound, his left minor discoloration to his knee from acid. http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/fallout.ga...Tribal_Garb.png -his tribal wear, his mask will have to be made by your imagination Starting equipment: Aiden has a Boom box (9mm pistol) and Kalimana (Hatchet). His Tribal Wear and mask. Character story: As a child, Aiden never worried to much about the hellish ordeal of a wateland he was brought into. He always played as a child would. Loving his mother and father deeply. His mother taught him how to read, his father how to shoot and basic survival . At the age of 12 his mother and father died by the hands of a tribe called the 'Hewawino' since they were at Hawaii at the time these men resorted back to their tribal natures of killing and pillaging. They took Aiden in as one of their own after he slaughtered their cheif for raping his mother before she died. As he reached the age of 15 he killed his tribemen from a psychotic episode. He then took a boat and though he could exile himself from the world, little did he know he would drift over to the NCR. A freak accident involving nuka cola quantum ghoulified him. During age 18 his stay in the capitol tought him more of survival and how to use his firearm to be more effectively. His hatchet and hand to hand skills was perfected as he was as he practices his Hewawino techniques, adapting to threat of the raiders. After about a year he hears word of an area down south that catches his attension, seeing as he has no purpose to live in the capitol wasteland, being that it is being rebuilt by the kid from vault 101, coincidentally his age, he ventures down south. Caught off guard he and a sales caravan is ambush just north of his destination, he was shot 3 times before collasping and left for brahmin meat. His items were taken from him, he was however able to hide his fathers pistol, the Boom box, and his knife. He finds refuge in a cave, bandaging his wounds. Weeks after the incident he heals up fully, he obtains a hockey mask thst he painted it to match his father's tribal markings. Looking for those men who left him for dead he wanders city to city, looking for anything that can lead him to those men. Character strengths and weaknesses: Aiden's particularly good with melee, hand to hand, and pistols. He can handle firing a rifle but doesnt use them for their weight and size. His father's tribal stories and teaching as a raider helped him with survival, combatives, and shooting his pistol. His mother's lesson teached him about barter and how to read. He knows about barter and knows how to spend his caps wisely. He is also very agile and can move like a cat. His intuition for melee attacks makes him a superb melee fighter. He can not be a leader, he is only able to think for his own survival, not as a group. He is distant and does not have a major impact with people, causing his speech skill to be lowered. He has a soft spot for women, if they are in trouble or in need, his sexual desire doesnt help that either. And his lack of reputation leaves him unknown to most. His isolations gives him a depression from time to time him giving a lack of charisma. This also gives in game his speech skill is very low. His makeshift patchwork causes his wounds to open up from time to time. His lack of a substantion source of food forces him to be weaker than normal, during his stay in the Capitol he drank plenty of irradiated water, causing him to be sick. His main attacks are close range, since his pistol only has 10 rounds, which leaves him defenseless against other with heavy weapons. Same thing, reply with suggestions por favor |
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| Aiderp | Oct 9 2013, 08:46 PM Post #4 |
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Vault idiot
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Hoping a mod looks at this |
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| Johnny | Oct 9 2013, 09:25 PM Post #5 |
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Scavenger
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I'm NOT a mod, but I did notice some things that might help you. First on the thread that you created, there should be a tiny red box at the top of the text that you wrote that says edit, you can use that so you don't have to make a whole new post, and then you don't have to copy everything over and makes it a little easier to read. Then once you edit just make another post saying you edited it, that makes it a little easier when you go back and to keep your character updated with his equipment and stuff. Your character drifted to the NCR at age 15, but you might want to add he made his way over to the D.C. by the time he was 18, although I'm not sure if you want him to travel that far while he is still pretty young to make it more realistic, I would just use one or the other. Your character is a ghoul so he really wouldn't be affected by irradiated water, but that's not a big deal. Your Special only adds up to 38, which is fine, you can be below 40 but it wouldn't hurt to add 2 more points wherever you desire. Oh and for your knife, Combat knife is still a tier 3 weapon so I would just change the text in the parentheses to kitchen knife or switchblade. We generally don't use Pip-Boys, it's just one of our rules. In my newest character that I made he was former NCR, which I wasn't even aware that was against the rules so things like that are pretty common. Lastly there are numerous spelling errors which could be fixed but that is minor so far. If you ever want to talk just scroll down to the chat box at the bottom of the page and ask us some questions. Good luck, hope to see you on an adventure with us soon. I'm sure a mod will read this soon enough, but maybe not until tomorrow. |
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James O'Connor Level: 1 Bucket Town Reputation: 10 Special: 4,7,4,8,5,7,5 _________________________________________________ Patrick Flynn Level: 1 Bucket Town Reputation: +25 Special: 4,8,4,4,5,8,7 | |
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| Midnight Rider | Oct 10 2013, 06:15 AM Post #6 |
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The Super Cereal
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Johnny pretty much hit the nail on the head there. Also back story needs to be four paragraphs. |
![]() Gordon "Stone" Hennigan, SPECIAL: 5.6.9.3.5.10.3. Level: 6 HC Peter McCullough SPECIAL: 4, 4, 4, 10, 10, 4 , 4, Level 3 HC THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY The spirits have taken an interest in you for all the wrong reasons! Unexpected challenges will come to you during your RPs but the rewards doled out will be much juicier. It is possible to live with such a curse, but if you would rather live curse free, you could simply sell the corpse and wash your hands of the whole situation. Lmgthev: MBP is handsome LonesomeDrifter23: Sometimes I think MBP is a being made entirely of satire. | |
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4:55 PM Jul 10