Welcome Guest
[Log In]
[Register]
| Welcome to The Wastes. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Beast of Paddlesack [Solo, Past-RP]; Traveling off-path was not a wise decision | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: May 1 2018, 12:53 PM (86 Views) | |
| Wake | May 1 2018, 12:53 PM Post #1 |
|
Lana~
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Many years ago... ...Paddlesack Mountain, Texas Wasteland Over the Texas Wasteland, a blazing sun scorched the dry ground relentlessly. Beyond roads of broken concrete and paths of eroded soil was the forgotten wilds where only beasts dare roam. It was never a good idea to take such routes through the wilderness, but in the mind of Graham Wake it was a genius strategy. His boots walked across the solid ground in confidence, head high and a smile to outshine that sun itself. "And you mean to tell me that he walked up to a Brotherhood Knight and... poked him?" Graham asked a long-haired man walking alongside him with a laugh. "Did he survive?" "No" the man replied with a smirk. "Man did not survive. Man dies. Melt into red goop." Graham winced. "ouch." Behind Graham and the long-haired man was a pack brahmin, carrying several large containers. Alongside the brahmin was a very young, long-haired blonde. Glancing around at everything around her, she seemed curious of the lands. At the very moment of looking, they were hiking past a rather large mountain with a flat top. Dead shrubs and tumbleweeds went past every moment as they made progress in their journey. On an elevated area, in the far distance, she could see with her piercing youthful blue eyes giant bees flying around. They were too far to pose a threat, but she kept an eye on their distant movements through the mirage of heat anyway. "What have you spotted, Lana?" The girl turned her head behind her where a heavily armoured ghoul with a rifle in her hand was walking. She gave the girl a reassuring smile. "Giant Bee" the girl answered and pointed roughly in the right direction. Cautiously, the ghoul looked in the direction and spotted the bee. "Ah, I see it. Seems busy doing something else. But keep an eye on it for me, okay?" "mhm" "Good girl." Lana was only twelve. Cassandra may have been a ghoul, but she knew the importance of youth that had left her over two hundred years ago. The smoothskins were friendly to her- especially her new boss, Graham, the girls father. When she was hired, Cassandra believed the little girl was a burden. But now, all these years later working under Graham, she saw the girl grow into a helpful survivor. She was paid quite a lot to look after the caravan, but also a little extra to keep an eye on Lana... his innocent daughter. Her deep black eyes kept looking behind them from time to time. Traveling off the path was a strange idea- but being so close to a mountain was not a good idea. Creatures of untold horror live in those mountains. Not a place for a caravan, let alone a little girl. "How is it looking back there, Cass?" Graham turned his head to ask. Lana's eyes lit up with a wide smile as he turned. He had been talking with the new guard for so long that she felt slightly left out. "Lana spotted a bee" Cassandra smirked. "I did, I did!" "Did you now? You know they used to make honey before the War. Your mother told me that once." "Honey?" Lana's youthful inquisitive tone questioned her dad. "It was so sweet..." Cassandra stated in a dreamy voice. "People used to eat honey. Drink it, too. Bees were smaller back then. Some people kept them as pets to make honey so eat themselves." "Hun-ee?" the long-haired guard laughed. "Sound weird." Lana knew this man as 'Walks.' Graham and Cassandra also called him 'Walks,' since his full name was 'Walking-Glory.' It was a gamble for Graham to hire a tribal from somewhere in North Texas, but his knowledge of natural flora was extremely helpful. It was a bit odd that he spoke in broken English, however... and his lack of armour and shirt made him an easy target should they ever get attacked. He did not even have a gun. Walks fought with a tomahawk, which was a piece of fictional comedy to Cassandra. To Graham, it was perfect. Lana was traveling with a pre-war Ghoul and a tribal. The knowledge she would learn from them both and their differences would help her develop. And, thus far, it has proven a success. She has been learning so many things from Cassandra and Walks. It made him proud. The brahmin made a rather loud 'MoooOOOO' with one of it's mouths, which startled Walks. Lana giggled at the leaping tribal, who, in turn, laughed at himself. "Brahmin makes sudden, funny noise!" "Walks is scared of the brahmin! Walks is scared of the brahmin!" "Oh who isn't scared of Old Bessy? Even Raiders fear Old Bessy!" "She didn't help much back in Mason..." "She was tired!" The four laughed in unison as they continued their journey across the mountainous plains just within the shadow of the mountain. Their destination was in the east and it was several days journey yet. It was only mid-day and the unbalance of personality made for good laughs. The last few weeks have been relatively peaceful aside from the odd raider attacks. They were too far south for The Crag raiders to affect their journey thus far. But they were unaware that, above them, about half a mile away, the sound waves of the brahmin and their laughter was heard. In the darkness of a small cavern within the Paddlesack Mountain, a creature stirred, awakened by the noise. In the darkness, two glowing red eyes squinted open... |
![]() ~Lana "Luck" Wake~ Hardcore Mode: Enabled Level: 2 S:4 - P:5 - E:6 - C:8 - I:8 - A:6 - L:4 Perks: Revolving Killer, One-Armed Bandit and Sex Appeal Lana- the bombshell blonde- 5'7, blue eyed and intelligent gunslinger. Fierce, caring and stoic. Physically, Lana appears to be an athletic attractive blonde with long hair going down to her large chest. With piercing blue eyes, she focuses on situations with her full attention. See Profile for Inventory!
| |
![]() |
|
| Wake | May 3 2018, 11:27 AM Post #2 |
|
Lana~
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
"I don't believe a word of it" the ghoul shrugged her shoulders, the armour clanking with the sudden movement. "A Vault Dweller is painted on your historical walls of your tribe? Blue and yellow jumpsuit? It sounds like a lie your tribe made up to seem more connected with the Wastes." "Is true!" the tribal guard argued. "Man in blue! Help tribe against deathclaw!" "Right. A deathclaw." Cassandra shook her head in disbelief, humoured by the tale. Graham Wake looked down at his daughter with wide, blue eyes. She glanced back up with curious blue eyes, not saying a word. While Lana had blonde hair, he had brown. She took mostly after her mother- which eased Graham's mind as he still saw bits of his lover within his own daughter. He tried to outfit her the best he could for a girl her age, but the jackets were often too long sleeved. Her hands were covered by them. He also had more tanned skin then Lana. He was once pale himself, but had long since spent too much time in the sun. "How're you holding up, my little flower?" he asked her with a warm smile. "Good" she answered, laconically. Her eyes moved back ahead once answering the question, like a solider going back to their duty once answering the commanding officer. "You, ah.. learned anything new?" Graham asked another question. It was the only way he could usually get a conversation out of Lana. Her mind was always elsewhere, thinking about something else... or watching something else. Such an alert child. "I... read a book you gave me. It told me that an old Empire in Mexico was invaded by a European Country called Spain. They were called the Az.... the ahz... th-the... Ahz-teks. The man who took over Mexico gave them diseases and killed them with guns that they didn't have." Graham's smile weakened at this. "That is why we carry guns and Walks doesn't~" It was slightly awkward for Graham. He, himself, could not read. But Lana could. When he used caps to buy her magazines and books, there is no way of knowing what he is buying her. Most of the covers are too worn to even be readable. Amazingly, Lana read these books and learned wondrous things from before the war. It was quite enjoyable to listen to when walking and over the campfire. But half the time, Graham had no idea what Lana was talking about. He knew where Mexico was... but he had never even heard of an Aztec. Nor a place called Spain, for that matter. Yet, somehow, the word sounded familiar to him... "Hey Cass-?" Graham called out behind. "Yeah, Boss?" she answered, turning her attention to Graham. "Lana just told me that Mexico was once invaded by a country called Spain. Where do I know this word from?" Pre-War Ghouls. They often knew the answer to most things. Sadly, two-hundred years often made many ghouls bitter and hateful. Cassandra was certainly bitter for being thrown out of nearly every town she arrives at just for trying to find a job. But she was thankful to Graham for taking her in. She had once told her own life story to Graham. Once a girl bought up in a state called Kansas north of Texas, she got involved in a life of crime before the War. Mostly chem-dealing and thievery, she described. When the bombs dropped, she somehow survived and became a Ghoul. Since then, she had used feral ghouls as target practice and became talented with a rifle. Once 'smoothskins' realized there were two types of ghouls, she worked as a mercenary. In some twisted fate, Cassandra regretted her life of crime. Missing her family, Graham guessed. "You are thinking of 'Spanish'" Cassandra stated with a proud smile for knowing such a thing. "It's the language the Mexicans speak." Lana lit up like a firework, jumping up and down in excitement. "That is because people from Spain invaded!" "Clever girl" Graham chuckled. "Spade?" Walks asked, looking confused about the entire conversation. "Spain, Walks. Spain." The brahmin stopped. Graham turned without missing a beat, glancing back at Cassandra. Walks and Cass both stopped to a halt as they watched their boss do so. Lana was delayed in stopping, but her eyes instantly turned to her father. "Old Bess tir-" "shh" Graham waved a hand at Walks with a wary look on his face. His smile was entirely gone. "Lana- behind me." The small blonde moved behind her father in a quickened motion. Walks, slowly beginning to understand what is happening, pulled his tomahawk from his belt. Cassandra, on the other hand, lifted her rifle upwards to her shoulder, glancing around the grounds around them for any threats. Graham pulled an old revolver from his holster. When Old Bess stops... it means there is something nearby. A deep growl came from the north... the mountain in which they were passing. It was deep, from the belly of a beast of large size... yet distant. Echo-like. "Wiinuk... Hellcat" Walks said in a serious and worried voice. "I fight!" From a nearby elevated stone hill, a large figure emerged. Very large. "Stay behind me, Lana-" "Fuck- Graham, I've got a shot-" "-Hellcat! New coat! Haha!" As Walks laughed at the incoming challenge, a louder, more fierce growl was heard. Lana could not see anything, hiding behind her father and the pack brahmin. She tried to see from her fathers side and pass the brahmins head, but Old Bess's heads were too big. Another growl was heard, followed by a large 'thud' sound. "Graham, give me the word-" "-wait for it-" Lana could see it's paws from afar. A soft brown, torn flesh, mutated like other beasts... giant claws, thinner then a deathclaws but somehow sharper looking... the paws were larger then half of Lana herself. The brahmin backed away slightly, revealing the beast to Lana's view. It was a giant beast... like a monster cat. Brown fur grown in patches, rotting flesh exposed, a damaged left ear like another creature of equal horror had taken a bite out of it. Lana could see her own reflection in it's horrific red eyes. It was circling them- watching them carefully, growling, it's intentions made clear. The growl itself was enough to put a shiver in your bones, a loud, distant warcry from a creature from Hell itself. It hissed at Walks, who stood before the rest of the traveling caravan, shirtless, ready with his tomahawk. "Now-!" And the first shot from Cassandra's rifle echoed up the entirety of Paddlesack Mountain. |
![]() ~Lana "Luck" Wake~ Hardcore Mode: Enabled Level: 2 S:4 - P:5 - E:6 - C:8 - I:8 - A:6 - L:4 Perks: Revolving Killer, One-Armed Bandit and Sex Appeal Lana- the bombshell blonde- 5'7, blue eyed and intelligent gunslinger. Fierce, caring and stoic. Physically, Lana appears to be an athletic attractive blonde with long hair going down to her large chest. With piercing blue eyes, she focuses on situations with her full attention. See Profile for Inventory!
| |
![]() |
|
| Wake | May 20 2018, 08:26 AM Post #3 |
|
Lana~
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Lana would never forget that day. She was just a young child, one year away from being a teenager. Jumping down from the rock whilst the echoing sound of a automatic rifle echoed throughout the mountain rocks, it's body lunging from side to side mesmerizingly. The fur of the beast took the bullets, but no noise other then it's almighty growl could be heard. Blood certainly dripped from it's pelt, spraying in the air as it leaped towards the caravan. Walking-Glory gripped his tomahawk and felt fear as his doom approached. It was in that last moment of brief thought and reflection that he, the pride tribal, wished he had at least put some clothing on. His tomahawk swung with both hands into the side of the Hellcat as it lunged at him, but... it did not appear to have any stopping effect. The axe pressed itself into the side of the mutated demon and froze in place, as if stuck in stone... whilst the Hellcat itself forced Walks onto his back with it's crushing weight. Cassandra continued to fire at the Hellcat with her rifle until it clicked from being out of ammunition. Lana watched in horror from just behind her father as the giant mountain cat ripped half Walks neck apart in a single second. Graham himself had only just pulled his revolver out of his holster and prepared to fire at the beast. "Ge-Get behind Bessy, Lana!" With hesitation, the child walked slowly backwards to get behind the brahmin. Old Bessy herself realized the threat far before the others and was swaying side to side in panic, it's feet stamping in a defensive manner- yet frightened. "Reloading-" Cassandra warned Graham as she pulled an ammo case from her pouch around her belt, the empty case falling to the desert floor. Finished with murdering the weakest of the pack, the Hellcat leaped to face the remaining threats- hissing at them with a noise which made all spines shiver in unison. It intended to kill all of them- either for sport, territory or food... and there was no mercy in it's glowing red eyes. Graham fired his revolver at the beast- the bullet ripping through its front left leg, causing it to screech in pain. Cassandra's rifle clunked affirmatively as she had reloaded her weapon and took aim. Enraged, the Hellcat began its pained approach through leaps and sprints towards the two remaining fighters. Rifle and revolver fired in unison, echoing through Paddlesack Mountain among the growling. It was hurt badly, incapable of escaping from the firing squad. The Hellcat soaked in the bullets, bleeding from its legs, its side, its neck-- yet unstopping, the creature was set upon desire to kill them, no matter its own worsening condition. Upon reaching them, the Hellcat swiped its paw at Graham- making him fly to the side, dropping his revolver in the air as the creature had cut into his side slightly. It turned its attention to Cassandra as the brahmin began to run a short distance away. The armoured ghoul proved harder to defeat, as her automatic rifle was firing relentlessly into the Hellcat, unmissing, from right next to the creature. Yet it clicked. It was the worst time to run out of bullets. The creature lunged whilst the ghoul met its attack by shoving the rifle into the beasts mouth. She was forced to the ground, like the previous victim-- but the rifle prevented the Hellcat from tearing her life away in an instant. It gave her time to pull the combat knife from her belt and stab the creature directly in the underbelly whilst over her. In pain and confusion, the Hellcat shook its head violently from side to side, unable to resist the intense pain that the knife and bullets had caused any longer. It extended it's claws out, digging into the ghouls shoulders, causing Cassandra to scream out in pain. The Hellcat tossed away the rifle, its red eyes peering down at the ghoul, showing her it's yellow, sharp teeth- breathing toxic, heavy breath into her face as she grimaced and panted in pain as it's claws crushed her armour into her. She knew that there was no coming back from this. But it was not the end of Cassandra, who watched as the beast fell from ontop of her to the side of her by a single gunshot into the side of the head. It was still as a statue, intimidating her, for long enough for Graham to get a shot to it's brains! It fell to her side, twice as large as she was in width and height, dead. And yet, when she sat up in both joy and intense pain, she saw that Graham was laying some distance from her, holding a bleeding cut wound... unarmed. Cassandra's black pupils turned slowly to the direction of the brahmin, to where Lana, a twelve-year old small blonde was holding a revolver with shaking hands, tears going down her cheeks, scared for her own life and theirs. Upon being seen by the ghoul- whom stared in awe at her childish saviour- Lana lowered the empty revolver and dropped it, running over to her bleeding father. "How're you... holding up... little flower?" Graham said in a soothing, pained voice to his daughter as she knelt next to him. She just cried upon seeing blood staining his clothes. "Don't worry, Lana... Ju-Just... fetch... Old Bessy and ... Alcohol and band-bandages.." "Graha-argh..Graham?" Cassandra called out from the floor, slowly standing and inspecting the crushed armour which was causing her so much pain. The Hellcat had entirely forced the combat shoulderpads down into her skin, causing friction with her bones and probable internal bleeding. "You-- Good?" "Dandy" he gave a weak chuckle. "...Walks?" The Ghoul briefly looked over to the corpse just a small distance away, blood poured everywhere around it, originating from it's neck. "Dead." Little Lana had quickly fetched the scared brahmin. It was no longer scared upon seeing the dead, unmoving corpse of the Hellcat. Sat on a small rock, Graham injected a stimpack into Cassandras arm before injecting himself. He poured alcohol over his wound-- an old brand of whiskey he drank from time to time. They had to stay near the corpses of both the tribal and the Hellcat for a little while whilst Cassandra stitched up Graham's claw wound before bandaging it. Throughout the entirety of this process, all parties- including Old Bessy- were silent. Lana stared at both the dead Hellcat and Walking-Glory, still in shock. Standing next to the Hellcat, she was tiny. Insignificant. It made her scared there were more around, to which she kept a watch out for. Eventually, her father and the ghoul made their way over to her- both smiling at her, rubbing her back. "We best move on" Cassandra stated in a softened tone, her crushed shoulderpads removed. Lana stared at her injured shoulders, which were a mixture of bent and bloody, torn clothing. "Another day and we'll be at Falkenstein Castle. They'll have people to help us heal and... give us beds to sleep in." "Lana." Innocent blue eyes, worn with constant streams of tears, focused on their fathers own eyes. They were comforting. Nobody had eyes like her fathers. He had two different colour eyes. One blue- one green. She knew this was called heterochromia... and it always comforted her. "...You saved Cassandra. Feel proud. Feel happy we are alive. Hellcats are very dangerous. And for you, a small girl, to survive... it..." He sighed. "...Let us keep going. Keep an eye on the mountains." As the group began to walk away from the corpses and disappear into the distance-- a giant bee investigated the scene. It was the same giant bee that Lana had spotted from before, scavenging. Attracted to the corpses, it found itself upon a very good feast of a dinner. Later that week, they arrived at Falkenstein Castle and described the Hellcat tale to people there. They nicknamed the tale 'The Beast of Paddlesack.' Over time, the story became twisted from the original tale of an armoured ghoul shooting an automatic rifle at a Hellcat... into how a young blonde girl killed a Hellcat in a single shot. Despite the fact there was no Hellcat corpse to prove it as the caravan was unable to carry it without a cart... the wounds matched the stories. And it was believed. Probably never forgotten. Probably. ------------------------ Twelve Years Later... Stood behind the bar, Lana daydreamed as there was nobody around. She watched the outside of the door. Passing by was a trading caravan with a dead Hellcat on the back of a cart, being dragged by a mutated donkey. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight, having a dreadful flashback. But slowly, she calmed. Time makes a person stronger. Seeing death and being exposed to dangers at a young age made her stronger, more stoic. While a Hellcat was still a fear in her mind, whose mind was it not a fear to? Twelve years ago, Lana fired a revolver for the first time and killed a Hellcat. She would never forget. ~Fin. |
![]() ~Lana "Luck" Wake~ Hardcore Mode: Enabled Level: 2 S:4 - P:5 - E:6 - C:8 - I:8 - A:6 - L:4 Perks: Revolving Killer, One-Armed Bandit and Sex Appeal Lana- the bombshell blonde- 5'7, blue eyed and intelligent gunslinger. Fierce, caring and stoic. Physically, Lana appears to be an athletic attractive blonde with long hair going down to her large chest. With piercing blue eyes, she focuses on situations with her full attention. See Profile for Inventory!
| |
![]() |
|
| Skyhawk347 | May 23 2018, 02:45 PM Post #4 |
|
Wastelander
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Jr. Mod reporting for the first grading. Here we go... The fight scene was competently done. The Hellcat felt like a valid threat, I was genuinely concerned for the characters, and the whole thing was well-paced. The descriptions of what were happening were good as well. You said that you're not used to writing action scenes but I think you did a good job. And don't worry if you think you could have done better. One of the fundamental things about writing is that you get better with practice. This might feel like nitpicking, but some of your sentences did contain some parts that I thought were unnecessary like the example below.
You could have just said, "with her rifle until it clicked". Having us be completely "shown" rather than "shown and told" I think would add to the sense of urgency. But again if it feels like I’m nitpicking it’s only because there isn’t much for me to criticize. I love 12-year-old Lana’s personality. She’s watchful, a little impish, cheerful, and innocent. The only thing that bugs me is that Lana’s personality seems a bit young for 12 years old. I’d say that it’s more appropriate for someone who’s 8-10, but maybe Lana’s innocence gives way to a bit of immaturity? Still, it doesn’t detract at all from the overall experience. I’d also like to see her do more to help out. You said that Cassandra thought of her as a “helpful survivor.” Sure maybe this wasn’t the best circumstance to show that but I would like to see more instances of it in the future. On the positive side, I like how you developed the personalities of the people in the caravan and how their personalities played off each other. Graham seems like a competent caravanner and a loving father, Cass seems like a hardened badass with a heart of gold, and even Walks had a good amount of personality even if he was a bit of a redshirt. I also like the descriptions you gave the characters. Like instead of saying “Lana had blue eyes full of innocence”, you brought up the characters’ features as they became relevant. That’s good. In the same vein, I also loved how descriptive you were with the environment. On to rewards
|
|
Ryan Hawkins - Level 1 SPECIAL: 5, 8, 7, 3, 6, 9, 3 Equipment: "Talon" (customized rifle), handyman's auto revolver (PC), knife, throwing knives x5, duster coat (desert camo), tan wide-brimmed hat, biker goggles, blue bandana, blue jeans, gloves, gecko-skinned boots 21 years old, 6'1" and wiry; boyish face with shaggy blonde hair, grey eyes, and a mutilated left ear (upper part has been bitten off) Traits: Scatterbrained, Small Frame http://s3.zetaboards.com/The_wastes/topic/9048978/1/ Companion Blue Collins - Level 3 thefortunepsker: Youre like thefortunepsker: What we need thefortunepsker: In the cbox dynamic thefortunepsker: A straight man JewsphGordonLevitt: I need to get in my writing zone, so activate my thot powers thefortunepsker: skyhawks like the old man of the cbox | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · In the Wastes · Next Topic » |
| Theme: Zeta Original | Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
11:32 AM Jul 11
|





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)





11:32 AM Jul 11