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| NoVa's at Work Volume IV | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 15 2005, 11:38 PM (283 Views) | |
| Nova | Feb 15 2005, 11:38 PM Post #1 |
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Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum...
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Well it's time for the fourth installment of my work rantings. A few different things happened tonight, nothing major, but pretty funny. So here we go; Tonight's Line Up: - Old man forgets gown. - Lost and Found: Tricycle ----- Alllllllriiiighht! - NoVa loses boot in snow. - White Snake does not impress the ladies. I was walking down the hall tonight, before eating my supper (thank God), when some old man came out of one of the bathrooms buck naked. I said, "Sir, you forgot to put on your gown." He replies, "No I f**kin' didn't. That bitch nurse didn't give me one. So I'm going to walk around naked and they can't f**king say anything about it." I was trying so hard not to laugh at this point, but I couldn't contain myself. I started laughing and the old guy walked away and went back into his room. I later asked the nurse what the problem was, she said, "That man wasn't even a patient here. He was just visiting his wife who was here with chest problems." So this guy, wasn't even registered in the hospital, and was just here to visit his sick wife. Now do you people understand what kind of crap that I have to deal with? So there I was, standing outside in the parking lot when I found a tricycle just sitting there. I brought it into the Security Office thinking that someone would come and claim it before they left. I was wrong. So after everyone had left, I said to myself, "Self, ya know what would be fun?". Before I even got to answer myself, I was carrying the tryke down to the long hall. Now you must picture this. I'm 6'5" and 225lbs. These bikes are made for like 2-3 year old children. Anyways, I couldn't pedal the damn thing, my legs were too long. So what I decided to do was to just push it, and then hop on. Man, am I ever an idiot. That doesn't work, no matter how much you think it can, it doesn't! So just like last night, I fell. But this time my left index finger broke my fall. Luckily for me, I work in a hospital. So I went and got some supplies and splintered that bad boy up. Hurts like crazy, but I got some Motrin. Literally just before I came in to type this up, I was outside. We have to go outside to check the outside doors, just too make sure no one is going to come in and rape me in the middle of the night while I'm taking my nightly nap. So I was out by the garbage bins checking the doors to the laundry rooms. Guess what? One of them was open. Half a dozen sheets whent flying out into the snow. We got some pretty deep snow here too. (Now before you say, how can you lose a boot in the snow if they are tied properly? I losen them up, cause after 12 hours in combat boots, your feet tend to get sore and stinky.) So while gathering the sheets, one of my boots fell off and I fell face first into the damn snow. It's not that soft snow either. It's that -- It's been raining for a few days and everything just froze over -- kinda snow. It hurt, a lot. I got a little cut on one of my ears, and a scratch on my cheek. But I think it was my pride that got hurt the most. Got the boot back though! Tonight, when I THOUGHT everyone was gone. I came into my office and started playing some music (pretty loud too). I was sitting here, singing along with some of the songs, when White Snake - Here I Go Again came on. I love that song, and I know all the words. So I started singing it, being I was the onyl in here. I was wrong, just like. While singing at the top of my lungs, "Here I go again on my own goin' down the only road I've ever known..." I heard a, "Ahem!". Once of the rather hot nurses was standing there, I felt like such an ass. But she did say that I can sing, just to pick a better song. :/ Well I know tonight hasn't been as entertaining as the last few, but it's been getting pretty boring here lately. Hopefully something good will happen soon, maybe for my next shift. As Always: NoVa's at Work has been brought to you by: Trauma's Yaw Shop - They'll never know it's not yaw! Vamp's Blood Collection - What? It's Pig's blood! Fig's Fig Emporium - Not only do we sell em - We eat a shit load too! |
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| >|LOA|<MJay | Feb 16 2005, 12:06 AM Post #2 |
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Okay. I think I peed my pants! WOW. I have a Great Idea! You should call up NBC or someone, and tell them you have the funniest damn reality show out there. Just let em follow you around....but wait, if everyone peed in their pants at once, would the world drown in piss? hmmmmm think about it....... as always with nova's stories. LMAO-MJ |
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| Nova | Feb 16 2005, 12:08 AM Post #3 |
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Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum...
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LMAO - Thanks MJay! lol |
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| Guest | Feb 16 2005, 01:10 AM Post #4 |
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ARGH YOU FUCKER, I DONT USE YAW Anyway, that was cool man, what made you think a tricylce will be able to hold you :rolleyes: LMAO |
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| Nova | Feb 16 2005, 01:11 AM Post #5 |
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Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum...
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Hey fucker! It held me, I just have horrible balance! ROFL! |
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| >|LOA|<Rose | Feb 16 2005, 01:33 AM Post #6 |
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please please please....nova...please...tell me you were wearing the crash helmet!!! |
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| Nova | Feb 16 2005, 01:37 AM Post #7 |
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Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum...
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To tell you the truth Rose, I can't honestly remember :/ |
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| >|LOA|<Vamp | Feb 16 2005, 01:43 AM Post #8 |
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That's just your body dying; pay it no mind.
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i will have u know that neither myself nor my customers dine on swine.
Great rant tonight bro. |
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| Nova | Feb 16 2005, 01:44 AM Post #9 |
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Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum...
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That's the whole point Vamp. Can't let the authorities know that it's human blood... Sheesh... lol |
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| >|LOA|<Raziel | Feb 16 2005, 08:04 AM Post #10 |
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So basically, you got into a fight with a snow bank and it whipped your ass. How embarassing for you. Unfortunately Radar, I'm all out of gold stars! I hope that male orderly didn't see that happen, he may start a full love embargo on your tender ass! And while I'm at it; from now on you've lost all lapdog privilages. No more walkies, no more treats, no more following me around the server and no more humping my leg. And any girl that doesn't like White Snake (especially that song) obviously has no taste. Just tell her that Clay Aiken is doing a cover for it and she'll love it! And, for the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense? Oh, gosh, maybe you were running late that day 'cause you just couldn't find the right thong for those low-rider jeans that you love so much, or maybe you were busy bopping along to whatever boy band really makes your heart race nowadays, and you just drove on by. 'Course, I don't know, I'm just guessing, but one things' sure-shootin': you wound up at the dumb-dumb store and you just went ahead and put so much of that into the car that you could fit, didn't ya? :lol: I have a poem for ya.... A husband may kiss his wife goodbye, A rose may kiss a butterfly. Bubbling wine may kiss the glass, But you my friend..... farewell! |
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| Avis | Feb 16 2005, 08:57 AM Post #11 |
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Semi-n00b
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The poem doesn't rhyme
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| >|LOA|<Vamp | Feb 16 2005, 11:13 AM Post #12 |
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That's just your body dying; pay it no mind.
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oh, now I get it. It was a defensive statement.
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| >|LOA|<Raziel | Feb 16 2005, 01:52 PM Post #13 |
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It's not supposed to rhyme - that's what makes it a innuendo. Like this: I was driving around in my pickup truck, I picked up my girl 'cause I wanted to... Show her my gloves as I had on my mits, and I blushed brightly when she showed me her.... Perfume she buys whenever Avon calls, So I took off my pants and showed her my... POLKA-DOT UNDIES!!!!! |
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| Avis | Feb 16 2005, 05:56 PM Post #14 |
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Semi-n00b
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ROFL |
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| LOA shawn | Mar 2 2005, 11:07 AM Post #15 |
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Dude that was so funny i almost pissed my pants. Keep on keepin on.
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