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NoVa's at Work Volume III
Topic Started: Feb 14 2005, 10:21 PM (432 Views)
Nova
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It's here again - NoVa's at Work!

This is the third installment of my useless rants. Last week Trauma and Havok gave me my own forum for all my useless nonesense. So I'm going to try and fill it with as much entertaining, boring, and utterly insane crap as possible.

Tonight's line up:

- Valentines Day with a bunch of hot nurses!
- "How to" look like an ass infront of hot nurses 101.
- Darts you say? With Needles? And a wheelchair?
- "The Smell" returns!

So that time of year is here again. It's the day that all men dread and all women (mostly all of them) love. I'm single and I had to work tonight. So not only am I saving money, but I'm also making money on Valentines Day. That has to be a first for me. I can't say that I'm sad. Every girlfriend that I've had this time of year always makes such a big deal out of it. I mean it's only a day for Hallmark, teddy bear companies, and chocolate factories to make millions. So yeah, I'm getting way off topic here. Back to me at work.

So I came into work tonight, and there were more hot nurses than usual. So I was thinking to myself, "What the hell are you looking at, you couldn't get laid if your life depended on it!" (That's the way it's been lately. Hell, right now I don't even think I could get a prostitute to sleep with me). But during my break a couple of the nurses, the hotter ones, came over to say hi to me. I didn't object to this, infact I welcomed it just like any red blooded man would (excluding Gaia). We all talked for like a half hour, and I endd up with 2 numbers! I was thinking to myself, "Hmmm, I should shower more often...". Okay that's a joke, but I don't know what happened. Maybe someone told them I was well endowed, which is true. But this was all about to come to a very abrupt ending.

About two hours later I was in the Emergency Room with a little old lady that was being beligerant. It was my job to make sure she didn't jump up and slap one of the doctors in the face. So while I was standing there beside her, this little old lady grabbed my ass. I don't mean she pinched it, GRABBED! As is how you would grab ahold of someone's throat when you want to kill them. Needless to say this freaked the crap out of me. I jumped probably about a foot or two in the air. I came down and twisted my ankle and fell on my ass. Everyone started laughing at me, not because I had fallen no. But because apparently it wasn't this little old lady at all. It was one of the male nurses. So then trying to act all cool infront of the ladies, I said, "No worries ladies, if you have enough booze anything can happen!" I'm still trying to remember why I said this, and I still have no idea. All I know is that it made me look like a complete jackass. One of the girls told me not too call her, and the other one wasn't there. But I'm sure she will hear about it by tomorrow and tell me not to call her as well. Like I said, this kinda stuff is the story of my life.

So by request of Ripley: Tonight I decided to play darts with needles. This I have never tried before, but I thought what the hell? So I gathered up about a dozen needles or so, and headed on over to the good old corkboard. I drew a bullseye on a peice of paper and tacked it up there. I was doing pretty good, had like 3 bullseyes out of like 10 shots. Not too shabby I told myself. So then getting all cocky (most of you know, I don't get cocky ;)) I decided to grab a wheelchair and start doing driveby's. So I have all these needles in my hands and I'm rolling down the hall in a wheelchair (I think they lock people up for this kind of behaviour). Anyways, I did about 11 or so and I was going on my last "run". I started off really nicely, had good speed - this was the total downfall. I ran into a chair that was sitting there against the wall. I went flying, about 10 feet from where the wheelchair stopped. Let's talk about something here. When you are travelling about 25kms an hour in a wheelchair, and instantly stop - it is not going too be pretty. I'm just thanking god that I dropped that last needle before I landed on my ass. Thanks Ripley - Ya Jackass!

So remember last week when I couldn't find out what that smell was? Well tonight it was back. But this time I figured out what it was. Remember how I told you the morgue is right beside me? Well I didn't mention that dead people, up to a weak after they pass on, can pass gas. Most people in the morgue have been dead at least 12 - 24 hours and that's when rigor starts to kick in. Their internal organs start to decompose. Mixed with gas, this is not a pretty smell. Have you ever smelled skunk? What about grabage that's been sitting in the sun? And how about vomit? Well take all those and that's what I was smelling, of course "Febreeze" isn't going to get rid of this odour. So tomorrow night I'm bringing a gas mask with me. That should keep the smell of those dead bastards out of my nose.

Anyways that's all for tonight LOA and visitors. There will be another Special NoVa's at Work tomorrow night. They screwed me into working two night shifts this week. So hense that's why it's special.

NoVa's at Work - Brought to you by:

Raz's Swedish Dildo Shop - Pleasuring Yourself is our Motto
Rose's Jawa Santuary - Rose wants you to have a jawa too!
Swift and 4:20's Smoke Shop - Dude, are we on yet?
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>|LOA|<Trauma
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>|LOA|<NoVa
Feb 14 2005, 10:21 PM
1.---
"No worries ladies, if you have enough booze anything can happen!"

2.---
Thanks Ripley - Ya Jackass!

3.---
NoVa's at Work - Brought to you by:

Raz's Swedish Dildo Shop - Pleasuring Yourself is our Motto
Rose's Jawa Santuary - Rose wants you to have a jawa too!
Swift and 4:20's Smoke Shop - Dude, are we on yet?

1. ROFL thats a classic now man, not only the other nurse will hear that one, but every girl on your town, you should move or something. Oh, I know, go help Raz with his harem. :lol:

2. LMAO who is more of a jackass? the jackass? or the jackass that follows the jackass? :lol:

3. ROFL :lol:
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Nova
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Way to go Trauma. You have just been labeled Jackass #2!

ROFL
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>|LOA|<Trauma
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LMAO you fucker... Seriously bro, what made you think playing darts with syringes was a good idea? LOL :lol:
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Nova
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Dude, you try spending 7 hours by yourself. IN a huge building with medical supplies. I was running out of things to do. Soon, I'm going to start shooting myself up with morphine.
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>|LOA|<Trauma
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LMAO... and yet another great idea :lol: But dont listen to me bro, its cool, I mean, every kid would like to get medical supplies and a wheelchair for his birthday :lol::rolleyes::lol:
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Nova
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No shit! I'm just living out every grown mans fantasy. lol
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omg....just...omg....what can I say?!!!! I cant stop laughing...the sad part...is I got a visual the whole time I'm reading this...so I see you in a wheelchair...with needles...and your crash helmet on....making a face that only your mother could love.....the one where you're retarded..but you're concentrating on somthing.*kinda looks like you're pooping in your diper*..and your tounge is sticking half way out.......


and the sponsers....HELL YAAAA...haha

I love you nova....you're awsome!!
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>|LOA|<Vamp
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That's just your body dying; pay it no mind.
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Uh, so Nova you let Male nurses grab your ass? I just need to know cause I graduate in a couple of months. ;)
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Nova
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Hey now! I didn't wear the helmet, which would explain the huge headache I have now. But if I only get one person to laugh, it's well worth it. :)
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Nova
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First off Vamp. I didn't let him. Second of all, what the hell do you mean? You're going to be a male nurse? That's cool and all. But if yougrab my ass, I'm going to break your fingers. lol
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>|LOA|<Vamp
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That's just your body dying; pay it no mind.
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Well......I thought about being a female nurse, but the surgery is awfully expensive. LOL :P
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ROFL
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Avis
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ROFL, I can't believe you took Ripleys suggestion ROFL
I was laughing the whole time I read your post!

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ROLF man, this was a very good story, specially because you twisted your ankle, now you may have a real excuse to be in a whellchair lol

Now you gotta admit that you want that the old lady grab yer ass man, admit it, and right now when you discover it was a male nurse, you wanna be in one of the hospital rooms, or maybe that's why you wont be on the server until monday or tuesday, admit it man, the swedish dildo, the nurse telling you that do not call her, everything fits... lol

take care of teh headache, it might turn in to something huge, i know that you are with the male nurse fixing it...

Well nice one man cya and take care
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