Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]



This is an archived forum, so it is here for read-only purposes only. We are not accepting new members and members cannot post any longer. Members can, however, access their old private messages. Strawberry Fields was open from 2006 until 2011. There is a Strawberry Fields Beatles Forum on Facebook. If you are registered with Facebook, join us at the group there!

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Alcoholic Behavior
Topic Started: Aug 13 2010, 12:52 PM (321 Views)
pood for paul

Yesterday I had to let go of someone I have known for 5 years, because of his alcoholism.

Anyone have stories they could share, to help me realize this was the right thing to do?
I have read many "clinical" articles, but would like personal stories to relate to...
Thank You~
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
fab4fan
Member Avatar
Caretaker
My uncles Tim and Chris - God rest their souls, 55 and 53 years young. We had to be around for that. You don't have to.
Mnisthiti mou Kurie!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
BeatleBarb
Member Avatar

Too involved of a story to tell here, Judy, but I lost my best friend and only sister to alcoholism almost 5 years ago. No, she didn't die, but she might as well have. Without knowing your story, it is probably the only thing you could do.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
pood for paul

Thank you, John and Barb...
I had to walk away, I had no other choice.

I'm so sorry you both had to deal with this in your family.......
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beatlespud
Member Avatar

My dad was an alcoholic and went through treatment.. best advice is to be there for emotional support but not enable them... it's a fine line sometimes.



Dean
Save the whales, collect the entire set!!!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beatlechick
Member Avatar
In Paul's Arms!
When I was a little girl, I used to love to sing and dance - putting on a show for my family. I was doing just that, I think I was maybe 8 yrs old, in front of my great grandparents who I was visiting for a day or two. Their son, my great uncle lived with them and was an alcoholic. I was doing my act when we heard a thud on the porch. My great uncle had fallen off his rocker, literally, to the ground. I don't know what happened from that time to the time I saw him get in the back of a police squad car. I never saw him again. He died of alcoholism about 3 yrs later in a sanitarium.

Another time my mom's best friend was just leaving our house with her fiance' when they were hit by a drunk driver who had hit a couple of other cars prior to hitting them, splitting their car nearly in half. She died a couple of hours later and her fiance' was badly wounded but lived for many years afterwards. The driver was arrested but made bail and skipped.

A good friend of mine was killed while driving home with a friend when on the freeway a drunk driver hit the passenger side where my friend was sitting. She lived for about a week but, from what I was told by her family members, she was so swollen she was nearly unrecognizable.

None of these people had to die the way they did. My great uncle, however, pretty much chose his death by pickling his brain but my friend and my mom's best friend had no choice.

Jude, your friend needs help before they damage someone else's life. Dean's right, it is a fineline sometimes.
Posted Image Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Dorfliedot
Member Avatar
Beatlelicious
nothing to tell. except my mom was a drunk.
Posted Image
Add Glitter to your Photos
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
pood for paul

Thanks, Dean, Cathy and Dorothy.
I know I made the right decision.....
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
modgirl1964
Member Avatar

Jude, you did. I can say that honestly.

I've dealt with that from my ex-husband, who still had the "Peter Pan syndrome" through out our marriage. He still wanted to drink and party constantly every weekend or the first chances he sought. It was a big factor of our marriage failing due to his constant spending on lavish nights out of drinking. It was a never ending battle and my struggle to save him and our relationship nearly broke me down.

I'm still dealing with it slightly today. My current boyfriend, I love him so dearly and completely, has his own issues with drinking. Having been a former frat brother and in the army, he knows how to drink. It does put a strain sometimes on us when he'll just go for another beer right after another. But due to recent events in his family and with us speaking about marriage, as well knowing my past, he's working hard to change that behaviour to better our relationship. The fact he sees the pain he causes when he drinks and wants to change that makes me love him more.

It's a tough road. There are some people who want the help and to make the change and then there are those you just have to cut out of your life until they get the point. Sometimes they'll never get the point and that's just sad, but the way it goes.
Bridget

Posted Image

Imported from Detroit
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
pood for paul

Thanks for sharing, Bridget..
What got to me was the selfishness and total disregard for me and my feelings....
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
BeatleBarb
Member Avatar

My sister chose alcohol over a relationship with me, one that I never dreamed would end. I was always there for her. She is not there for me, for my mother who has Alzheimer's, not there for herself. She is 65 years old, lives in a pig sty, barely gets by, became abusive and jealous and I don't know what's to become of her. After all these years, I had to give up. I always accepted her and loved her anyway. Deep down I felt she had a good heart, but the disease took over and ruined her. I recently wrote her a good bye letter and of course received no response. I really don't think I'll ever speak to her again. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. The only saving grace about Alzheimer's is that my mother doesn't remember that my sister is absent from our lives. But I still remember and although I'm doing better, I am still hurt and mad and resentful. It's hard to just let go...easier said than done.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
pood for paul

So sorry, Barb :hug:
I finally got tired of being used, manipulated, and hurt.
He, too had a good heart-maybe somewhere down deep inside it's still there.....

I expect to hear from in in 2-3 months, maybe sooner-when he's feeling bad about himself again.
I won't be there for him this time... :no:
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beatlechick
Member Avatar
In Paul's Arms!
pood for paul
Aug 16 2010, 05:59 PM
I expect to hear from in in 2-3 months, maybe sooner-when he's feeling bad about himself again.
I won't be there for him this time... :no:
You will have to remember that when the time comes. Not only remember that but standfast on the conviction. I do think, however, that you need to tell him in no uncertain words why you're taking this position. He needs to be constantly reminded but that you do still care for him so if he should take the plunge and sober up, and stay sober, than perhaps you can resume your friendship.
Posted Image Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
pood for paul

Excellent advice, Cathy..
Thank you so much. :)
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beatlechick
Member Avatar
In Paul's Arms!
Good luck!
Posted Image Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · Things We Said Today · Next Topic »
Add Reply


"Treasure these few words"