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"Dear Me"
Topic Started: Mar 31 2010, 02:13 PM (1,034 Views)
JeffLynnesBeard
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Last week, I read a book called "Dear Me" which was a collection of letters written by a range of people to their sixteen year old selves. Contributions were made by such people as Elton John, Stephen Fry, Joanna Lumley and many more. Some were funny, others quite heart-wrenching.

Apart from recommending the book, I was thinking that it would be an interesting exercise for anybody to do and so, if you have the time, I'd like to invite everyone to write a letter to their sixteen year old self. :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Mr.Mustard
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what now? on this thread?
Dear 16 yrs. old self. Go to that therapy agency your mums friend told your mum about. Do NOT at any point whatsoever say to the thearpist 'I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT TO SIT THERE LISTENING TO THE DREGS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S MINDS'.
That's all you need to know.
good luck...you're gonna f*ckin' need it!
p.s
As you know, somewhere in the back of your mind, right now, you are a pathological liar. You're going to end up being pathologically honest. I'd stick to the formerif i was you...which i am so...just do it!

pps.
When your about 24/25 you'll go on a walk one sunny sunday morning with your friend Pat to see his 'favourite tree'. On the way he'll stop off at his friends house to drop some 2000 A.D magazines off at his friends. While you're there having a coffee a girl will arrive called Sarah. In 2 days time when you go to the local pub music quiz with Pat and another friend called Pete, which you always do and usually win btw, Sarah will appear with her ex-b/f and join you. For the record she will be wearing a sexy short skirt and even sexier pink tights...i can't remember what top she had on or if she had a nice rack but she has got a nice, what i'd call plainly pretty face. Now, this is the important bit... As she's sitting down she says something like 'i'm having lager and lime...the tarts drink'. THIS IS A HINT!!! Not long after she says 'all my friends say i'm fickle'. This is code for 'all my friends say i'm easy'. THIS IS ANOTHER HINT! Not long after that she starts to rub her leg up against you'res under the table!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS, YES, YOU GUESSED IT ANOTHER HINT!!! NOW. LISTEN! Unless you're life is radically improved and saved, so to speak, by the warning given earlier this is your one and only... I REPEAT...ONE AND ONLY chance to have sex with a girl who is not a-ugly or b-a prostitute! I don’t know how you can get her into bed but the fact is that that girl Sarah, who you only saw once before and will NEVER see again actually does want to have sex with you!!! For krissstss sake try and find someway of making that happen!!
ppps. Pat will be the only person you ever meet in your life who you don't end up loathing. Even people you will add as friends on facebook ( see n.b)are people who at some point or other you have detested and still deeply resent for their callous and vindictive treatment of you. a/w Pat will be the best friend you ever have and he will be the only person you know who dies young. Tell him to keep away from Brighton beach!

ppps. In 2 yrs. time you will predict Paul McCartney wants and will get a knighthood. NINE YEARS later he does. You will have forgetten this prediction but your brother didn't!!

n.b
Facebook is a website. A website is a thing that is on a thing called the WWW which is a thing that links up every computer in the world and will revolutionise society from the early 90's onwards.
Edited by Mr.Mustard, Mar 31 2010, 09:09 PM.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Yes, now (or when you're ready), on this thread.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Dear Andrew,

This is the 34 year old version of yourself writing to you from the future. I'm living in London now, working as a train driver and, all-in-all, life isn't treating me bad at all. You can stop reading now and keep your current trajectory in life if that doesn't sound too terrible – and it's not, but if I can make anything easier for you, then I will certainly try. Well, if you're still reading then you must want to know what I have to say, although, to be honest, given that I know you make most of your decisions for emotional reasons, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to follow any advice I may give.

First of all, I know that you're desperate to be loved and to fit in somehow and I know you're a lot more scared than you'll ever admit. I know you don't understand why life and people can be so cruel and, to be frank, I still don't, but you learn to live with and accept it. Being loved is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn't solve all your problems. Being with someone isn't the be-all and end-all of life and it can actually make your problems worse if you're with the wrong person. People will let you down badly – and, believe it or not, you're going to let people down badly too. That probably sounds alien to you right now, but your perspective changes when you've been dumped on and felt as if you've had your heart ripped straight from your body.

Actions have consequences, sometimes serious. Live for the future as well as the moment. I know you won't like them, but, I implore you, use condoms or at least make sure there is some form of birth control being used – never just chance it. Don't take any decisions which seem like a good idea when you've consumed alcohol or, indeed, any other drug. In fact, try to avoid alcohol as much as you can – it isn't your friend. Always, always hold your temper – nothing good comes from lashing out in any way. Police cells aren't nice places to end up in and you give people reason to dislike and even hate you. Learn to deal with your emotions, don't repeat any destructive behaviour you may have witnessed throughout your life, and, for your own sake, get counselling for the things that have happened in your life so far, before being repeatedly told that you need it. It really works.

Oh – and one last thing – you're going to pass your 'A' levels, just about – it's a close thing, so don't feel as if you can relax now I've told you this. If anything, make more of an effort. If you work harder, you'll do much better. As for higher education, choose a course that you're actually interested in instead of worrying about what job it will lead to and, please, don't go to University with Helen – it doesn't work out. Break up before you go. It'll hurt, but in the long term it'll be worth it and, that way, you may just end up with a degree at the end of it, because – I'm sorry to say – you don't have one now. That action, no matter how painful it may seem, will probably change your life for the better in so many ways.

You're a sensitive, bright and likeable young man, Andy (I know you don't like that shortened version of your name but that's what everyone calls you now – and it sounds really nice coming from the lips of the woman you love). You may think that others can be cruel, but in fact you're your own worst enemy. Be kinder to yourself and you'll be a little less uptight about everything you're doing. It's something you still struggle with, but it gets better over time.

Look after yourself, kid. (I just threw that in because I knew it would annoy you!)

Andy.
x

p.s. You're definitely straight, so don't fret about that. If your parents send you to an all boys school, you're bound be slightly confused. The feeling will pass.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Mr.Mustard
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JeffLynnesBeard
Mar 31 2010, 03:01 PM
Dear Andrew,

This is the 34 year old version of yourself writing to you from the future. I'm living in London now, working as a train driver and, all-in-all, life isn't treating me bad at all. You can stop reading now and keep your current trajectory in life if that doesn't sound too terrible – and it's not, but if I can make anything easier for you, then I will certainly try. Well, if you're still reading then you must want to know what I have to say, although, to be honest, given that I know you make most of your decisions for emotional reasons, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to follow any advice I may give.

First of all, I know that you're desperate to be loved and to fit in somehow and I know you're a lot more scared than you'll ever admit. I know you don't understand why life and people can be so cruel and, to be frank, I still don't, but you learn to live with and accept it. Being loved is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn't solve all your problems. Being with someone isn't the be-all and end-all of life and it can actually make your problems worse if you're with the wrong person. People will let you down badly – and, believe it or not, you're going to let people down badly too. That probably sounds alien to you right now, but your perspective changes when you've been dumped on and felt as if you've had your heart ripped straight from your body.

Actions have consequences, sometimes serious. Live for the future as well as the moment. I know you won't like them, but, I implore you, use condoms or at least make sure there is some form of birth control being used – never just chance it. Don't take any decisions which seem like a good idea when you've consumed alcohol or, indeed, any other drug. In fact, try to avoid alcohol as much as you can – it isn't your friend. Always, always hold your temper – nothing good comes from lashing out in any way. Police cells aren't nice places to end up in and you give people reason to dislike and even hate you. Learn to deal with your emotions, don't repeat any destructive behaviour you may have witnessed throughout your life, and, for your own sake, get counselling for the things that have happened in your life so far, before being repeatedly told that you need it. It really works.

Oh – and one last thing – you're going to pass your 'A' levels, just about – it's a close thing, so don't feel as if you can relax now I've told you this. If anything, make more of an effort. If you work harder, you'll do much better. As for higher education, choose a course that you're actually interested in instead of worrying about what job it will lead to and, please, don't go to University with Helen – it doesn't work out. Break up before you go. It'll hurt, but in the long term it'll be worth it and, that way, you may just end up with a degree at the end of it, because – I'm sorry to say – you don't have one now. That action, no matter how painful it may seem, will probably change your life for the better in so many ways.

You're a sensitive, bright and likeable young man, Andy (I know you don't like that shortened version of your name but that's what everyone calls you now – and it sounds really nice coming from the lips of the woman you love). You may think that others can be cruel, but in fact you're your own worst enemy. Be kinder to yourself and you'll be a little less uptight about everything you're doing. It's something you still struggle with, but it gets better over time.

Look after yourself, kid. (I just threw that in because I knew it would annoy you!)

Andy.
x

p.s. You're definitely straight, so don't fret about that. If your parents send you to an all boys school, you're bound be slightly confused. The feeling will pass.
Problem is, imo, with you're Andy is it's too generalised philosophical/psychological. You're 16 yrs. old self might just see it as boring wiseacres stuff.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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I think the idea is to try to write a letter that your 16 year old self would understand and relate to. I've attempted to avoid specifics because the one specific I have mentioned would change the path of my life dramatically.

I was still fairly deep, even back then.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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One which I particularly enjoyed from the book was from Stephen Fry;

---

Dearest Absurd Child,

I hope you are well. I know you are not. As it happens you wrote in 1973 a letter to your future self and it is high time that your future self had the decency to write back. You declared in that letter (reproduced in your 1997 autobiography Moab Is My Washpot) that "everything I feel now as an adolescent is true". You went on to affirm that if ever you dared in later life to repudiate, deny or mock your 16-year-old self it would be a lie, a traducing, treasonable lie, a crime against adolescence. "This is who I am," you wrote. "Each day that passes I grow away from my true self. Every inch I take towards adulthood is a betrayal."

Oh, lord love you, Stephen. How I admire your arrogance and rage and misery. How pure and righteous they are and how passionately storm-drenched was your adolescence. How filled with true feeling, fury, despair, joy, anxiety, shame, pride and above all, supremely above all, how overpowered it was by love. My eyes fill with tears just to think of you. Of me. Tears splash on to my keyboard now. I am perhaps happier now than I have ever been and yet I cannot but recognise that I would trade all that I am to be you, the eternally unhappy, nervous, wild, wondering and despairing 16-year-old Stephen: angry, angst-ridden and awkward but alive. Because you know how to feel, and knowing how to feel is more important than how you feel. Deadness of soul is the only unpardonable crime, and if there is one thing happiness can do it is mask deadness of soul.

I finally know now, as I easily knew then, that the most important thing is love. It doesn't matter in the slightest whether that love is for someone of your own sex or not. Gay issues are important and I shall come to them in a moment, but they shrivel like a salted snail when compared to the towering question of love. Gay people sometimes believe (to this very day, would you credit it, young Stephen?) that the preponderance of obstacles and terrors they encounter in their lives and relationships is intimately connected with the fact of their being gay. As it happens at least 90% of their problems are to do with love and love alone: the lack of it, the denial of it, the inequality of it, the missed reciprocity in it, the horrors and heartaches of it. Love cold, love hot, love fresh, love stale, love scorned, love missed, love denied, love betrayed ... the great joke of sexuality is that these problems bedevil straight people just as much as gay. The 10% of extra suffering and complexity that uniquely confronts the gay person is certainly not incidental or trifling, but it must be understood that love comes first. This is tough for straight people to work out.

Straight people are encouraged by culture and society to believe that their sexual impulses are the norm, and therefore when their affairs of the heart and loins go wrong (as they certainly will), when they are flummoxed, distraught and defeated by love, they are forced to believe that it must be their fault. We gay people at least have the advantage of being brought up to expect the world of love to be imponderably and unmanageably difficult, for we are perverted freaks and sick aberrations of nature.They - poor normal lambs - naturally find it harder to understand why, in Lysander's words, "the course of true love never did run smooth".

Sexual availability, so long an impossible dream in your age, becomes the norm in the late 70s and early 80s, only to be shattered by a new disease whose horrors you cannot even imagine. You would little believe that I can say to you now across the gap of 35 years that we are the blessed ones. The people of Britain are happy (or not) because of Tolpuddle Martyrs, Chartists, infantry regiments, any number of ancestors who made the world more comfortable for them. And we, gay people, are happy now (or not) in large part thanks to Stonewall rioters, Harvey Milk, Dennis Lemon, Gay News, Ian McKellen, Edwina Currie (true) et al, and the battered bodies of bullied, beaten and abused gay men and women who stood up to be counted and refused to apologise for the way they were. It has given us something we never thought to have: pride. For a thousand years, shame was our lot and now, turning on a sixpence, we have arrived at pride - without even, it seems, an intervening period of well-it's-OK-I-suppose-wouldn't-have-chosen-it-but-there-you-go. Who'da thought it?

I know what you are doing now, young Stephen. It's early 1973. You are in the library, cross-referencing bibliographies so that you can find more and more examples of queer people in history, art and literature against whom you can hope to validate yourself. Leonardo, Tchaikovsky, Wilde, Barons Corvo and von Gloeden, Robin Maugham, Worsley, "an Englishman", Jean Genet, Cavafy, Montherlant, Roger Peyrefitte, Mary Renault, Michael Campbell, Michael Davies, Angus Stewart, Gore Vidal, John Rechy, William Burroughs.

So many great spirits really do confirm that hope! It emboldens you to know that such a number of brilliant (if often doomed) souls shared the same impulse and desires as you. I know the index-card waltz of (auto)biographies, poems and novels you are dancing: those same names are still so close to the surface of my mind nearly four decades later. Novels, poetry and the worlds of art and ideas are opening up in front of you almost incidentally. You spend all your time in the library yearning to be told that you are not alone, and an unlooked for side-effect of this just happens to be a real education achieved in a private school designed for philistine bumpkins. Being born queer has given you, by mistake, a fantastic advantage over the rugger-playing ordinaries who surround you. But those rugger-playing ordinaries have souls too. And you should know that. I know you cannot believe it now. They seem so secure, so assured, so blessedly normal. They gave Cuthbert Worsley the Kipling-derived title of his overwhelmingly important (to you) autobiography The Flannelled Fool: "these are the men that have lost their soul/ The flannelled fool at he wicket/ And the muddied oaf at the goal".

You look down at the fools almost as much as you fear them. The ordinary people, whose path through life is guaranteed. They won't have to spend their days in public libraries, public lavatories and public courts ashamed, spurned and reviled. There is no internet. No Gay News. No gay chatlines. No men-seeking-men personals. No out-and-proud celebs. Just a world of shame and secrecy.

Somehow, as you age, a miracle will be wrought. You will begin by descending deeper into the depths: expulsion, crime and prison - nothing really to do with being gay, but everything to do with love and your inability to cope with it. Yet you will, as the Regency rakes used to say, "make a recover" and find yourself at university, where it will be astonishingly easy to be open about your sexuality. No great trick, for the university is Cambridge, long a hotbed of righteous tolerance, spiritual heavy-petting and homo hysteria. You will emerge from Cambridge and enter a world where being "out" is no big deal, although a puzzlingly small number of your coevals will find it as easy as you to emerge from the shadows. Before you damn anyone for failing to come out, look to their parents. The answer almost always lies there. Oh how lucky in that department, as in so many, you are, young Stephen.

But don't kid yourself. For millions of teenagers around Britain and everywhere else, it is still 1973. Taunts, beatings and punishment await gay people the world over in playgrounds and execution grounds (the distance between which is measured by nothing more than political constitutions and human will). Yes, you will grow to be a very, very, very, very lucky man who is able to express his nature out loud without fear of hatred or reprisal from any except the most deluded, demented and sad. But that is a small battle won. A whole theatre of war remains. This theatre of war is bigger than the simple issue of being gay, just as the question of love swamps the question of mere sexuality. For alongside sexual politics the entire achievement of the enlightenment (which led inter alia to gay liberation) is under threat like never before. The cruel, hypocritical and loveless hand of religion and absolutism has fallen on the world once more.

So my message from the future is twofold. Fear not, young Stephen, your life will unfold in richer, more accepted and happier ways than you ever dared hope. But be wary, for the most basic tenets of rationalism, openness and freedom that nourish you now and seem so unassailable are about to be harried and besieged by malevolent, mad and medieval minds.

You poor dear, dear thing. Look at you weltering in your misery. The extraordinary truth is that you want to stay there. Unlike so many of the young, you do not yearn for adulthood, pubs and car keys. You want to stay where you are, in the Republic of Pubescence, where feeling has primacy and pain is beautiful. And you know what ... ?

I think you are right.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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manon
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JeffLynnesBeard
Mar 31 2010, 03:01 PM
Dear Andrew,

This is the 34 year old version of yourself writing to you from the future. I'm living in London now, working as a train driver and, all-in-all, life isn't treating me bad at all. ....
Andy, your letter is very touching. I can feel all the road you came through. "Your little Andy" can be proud of the man you are now.
"Listen to the color of your dream."
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temptressss

GREAT THREAD, ANDY!!

Dear Me,

stop crying about ringo. you won't believe it but in about 2 years you're gonna switch your love over to paul and have a great old ride for some years. after that, you will fall in love and have a child and THEN your tears will really be worth it. when you become a mom the best advice i can give you is to CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES wisely and be consistent. add some discipline in and let your child know who is boss.

as long as life seems there will be a day when you'll be going backwards and realise that life is really short. that the years before you have slipped away. so enjoy every aspect and take every challenge that comes towards you. all the emotional aches you feel now as your hormones are hopping will one day slow down enough for you to have a clear vision of life. for every bad thing you feel has come your way you will have learned a lesson from it making your far stronger than you will ever know that you are.

as you get older you will find out what life is really about and you will realise your childhood was probably better than most. the puzzle pieces will all fit eventually. slow down and enjoy the littlest things. those little things make up the grand picture.

your older self still loves you.

p.s. i had a dream recently where i was on a highway that suddenly ended and i was driving off a cliff. i said aloud, "omg, this is it. thank you, god, for giving me such a wonderful life".
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Monkey Chow
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beep beep m beep beep yeah
Dear Me,

This is me much older. First of all, lighten up a little. Grab a girl, ask her out. Don't worry about whether it will lead to anything serious. It probably won't. When you go to college, ask a lot of girls out. Don't waste your time on Amy thinking she is the love of your life. She isn't. Deep inside she is a horrible person. Whatever you do, it will all work out later. Most everything does end up working out so again, lighten up a little.

You are going to really enjoy playing music later. Lighten up a little.
Everybody's got something to hide 'cept for me and my monkey.
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Dear Me,

Stay away from the cocaine, get a real job after you graduate from college and start saving for the day that you go on dialysis for 14 years in 1991 and lose everything. You will survive once you get a kidney transplant in 2005 and you will have a super hot smart young girlfriend by the time you turn 50, so make sure you have all of your ducks in a row.

Signed,

Stupid (Yourself)
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JeffLynnesBeard
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temptressss
Mar 31 2010, 06:31 PM
when you become a mom the best advice i can give you is to CHOOSE YOUR BEATLES wisely and be consistent.
Crafty edit. :innocent:

Thanks for the responses so far, didn't know how many of you would take the time. :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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A day in the life
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Dear V,

You are now only just starting on a very long road of self-discovery. 16 isn't an easy age, but there's a lot of good things happening this year for you. You will pass your GCSEs and go on to college and University.

Right now you still feel like a kid in so many ways, and that's fine. Believe me that, although you think 25 is "ancient" now, even by the time you are 30, you will still feel like a kid at times.

One thing that won't change is that you love music. You love the Beatles, are crazy about Queen and are into Oasis and Britpop. These are the days you will feel nostalgic about one day in the future. I know you just started playing guitar last year. One piece of advice: keep practicing, a lot. Don't get lazy. Barre chords are possible even if you don't think so right now. Remember the songs you wrote over the last two years. When you're 30, you will still think they aren't all that bad.

You will soon move overseas again, and then move a few times more. This will give you many new insights and experiences, but in 2004 you will end up back almost exactly where you are right now. Second time round you'll grow to like this town much more than the first time round.

You don't know what you want to do in your life and that's fine. It's a process of growth. You won't believe me, but it's actually only between the ages of 28-30 that you find out which path you truly want to take when it comes to your career.

You won't be married by then, or have had children- not that that's on your mind at all right now- but somewhere in there you probably expect this is at least a possibility that will have happened by then. Maybe it's only social convention that makes you, unconsciously, feel that way. They say patience is a virtue so maybe you'll have to wait a while longer. Or maybe it won't happen. (Perhaps a follow-up letter, in a few years, would have more to say about that).

Those moments of overthinking things- anything- will mean nothing in a couple of things. It's mostly temporary rubbish, although the tendency to overthink (often very hypothetical 'problems') will stay with you, but the less you worry, the less they will stay.

You know you don't follow crowds. That's a good thing. But you need more confidence in yourself. You will grow to be more comfortable in your own skin when you are ready. You still won't like dresses when you are 30, and despite what people tell you, that's fine.

You will suddenly - seemingly out of nowhere- realise that much of that shyness will be gone. That will happen through communicating with people, starting work, travelling, and not all at once.

Boys, men.
Still a embarrassing subject for you, and will be for quite a while. You don't need or want a boyfriend now. You'll make a male friend this year though who you will - completely platonically- be in touch for a long time.

It is - yet again- only in your 20s that you can communicate properly with men, let alone think about dating. The first time you fall deeply and completely in love will actually not happen for a long time after that. Whether it will lead to anything in the long run is something for the follow-up letter yet again.

Anyway this is getting kind of long so let me close this by saying- don't waste so much time. Be confident that you will find elements of yourself somewhere, sometime, somehow.

Love,
V
We all wanna change the world.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Wonderful, thank you, V. :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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A day in the life
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Thanks. Kind of therapeutic.
We all wanna change the world.
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FamousGroupie
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
Dear Me,

You're 16 and should be having the time of your life. Enjoy it now, because soon you will be me - 34, unemployed, living in public housing and single with a six year old.

As great as that probably sounds to a teenager (hey, no work? Sweet!) it really isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact, it's more work than going out of the house for eight hours a day.

So here's my advice: study. Hard. You will only just pass your VCE, so don't slack off.

Your parents will separate and divorce in three years time. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your mother will come out as a lesbian around about the same time. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your father will still hate your mother 16 years later. THIS IS STILL NOT YOUR FAULT AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

As for yourself, you are struggling to find a place to belong, as most teens are. You feel disconnected and totally alone, even in a crowd. I hate to tell you - it doesn't get any better. This is because you have as-yet-undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome - this will make a lot of sense of the emotions and rages you are feeling. I am still feeling those same emotions. Make your daughter the centre of your world, and you will survive.

One more thing - he is not worth it. You may think he is, but he will break your heart and take from you the thing you wanted most at that point in your life. But you will survive that, too. It's amazing how resilient you are - remember that.

Don't think that you are a worthless person. The world will beat you down, but you will bounce back stronger than ever, every time.

Love

Me.

PS Exercise. Every day. And stop eating red meat. Trust me.
I don't believe in Bondi. I don't believe in rugby league. I believe in Yoko, John Lennon, the Lost Weekend and me.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Thank you, Clare. Slightly sad, but quite inspirational in a way.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Bill
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It's been really touching reading these. I wanted to write mine before I read them, so it's typed out and ready, but I wanted to applaud everyone else's contributions. It's interesting how some common threads emerge among some very different lives.
Put a puppet on it.
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Bill
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Dear Bill,

This may have arrived too late, but first of all, forget about Gennie. It’s never going to happen. You’re in love with a poet and that’s all very cool and artistic, but there are other facets to her that aren’t as attractive. It might suit your style to have a tragic, unrequited love story, but please don’t waste these precious years being heart-broken for her. Especially not when there are people who really do love you. I know you can’t feel it and you think I’m talking sh*t but remember, I’m you so I must be right. Just stop pushing people away and let love in. After all, it’s not easy banging your heart against some mad bugger’s wall.

While we’re on the subject, you’ll be wasting your time with Jane too, but that’s probably necessary preparation for what comes afterwards. Use it as a learning experience. You’ll see the writing on the wall, so pay attention and don’t try to delay the inevitable. It’s all leading to something much, much better.

You’re not part of the in-crowd, but in reality, you’ve got a wild-card entry, so you might as well use it. You will turn out to be right about a lot of things and people will realise it. If you were the same person at school ten years later, you’d be one of the coolest without even trying.

Study harder in maths. I know you don’t need to now, but you’re not going to be able to cruise on natural ability for much longer so you’d better get used to having to try.

You’re a talented guy. And that means everyone thinks they know what’s best for you, pulling you in all different directions. They’re all full of sh*t. Don’t take advice from people who care more about what’s best for them. If you tell them all to stick it and follow your dreams, then even if it’s a disaster, you won’t be any worse off than if you didn’t. The risk you regret the most is the one you didn’t take, so stop playing it safe and stop considering the feelings of those who don’t care about yours.

You WILL get to see Paul McCartney, Roger Waters and World Party, so stop worrying about that.

Spend more quality time with your grandparents and Godmother. You don’t know when you might lose them.

Don’t go mouthing off about being a manic depressive like there’s something artistic about it. Maybe it would have happened anyway, or maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ve always known you’re not normal, but there’s good not-normal and bad not-normal, and you have a bit of both. You should probably get help for the shyness, and please tell me how it worked out.

If you think the world is small now, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Things are a lot easier than you think they are, from telling a girl you like her, to travelling to the other side of the world. It’s not as hard as you think it is – you just have to push through the mental barriers that you’ve allowed other people to put in front of you.

Life gets better. It takes a long time, but it gets better.

And whatever you do, don’t go writing letters to your younger self. It’s kind of depressing.

Love,
Bill

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Queenbee
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Great thread Andy ~ I'll have to write something to myself when I get a bit of time.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Cleo
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Dear Mi,
You're only 21, don't get married. You know marriage is not for you. I know you are curious about a man but you are not ready for it, you need to have some fun, you have been responsible for everything forever, it's time to be young and not responsible.
Don't be afraid of the world, the world is not that big. Study, study and study. In 2010 you will meet the love of your life, you have to be ready for it, don't let him go and don't sabotage yourself. Visit your father everyday because you will lose him in 2007 and you will feel bad forever if you are not there when he dies.
Darling stop wasting time and energy with people who don't feel anything about it. The world is huge, there are other guys who love you and you don't know.
Now go and be happy or you will be a psycho 27 years old dreaming of what life could have been.
Now f*ck off!
Yours truly
Michelle
Edited by Cleo, Apr 3 2010, 07:08 AM.
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A day in the life
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I've enjoyed reading these. Really insightful.
We all wanna change the world.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Same here, I'm glad I started this thread. Many thanks to everyone who has contributed - and I hope you got as much out of this 'exercise' as I did. :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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ohnotjimagain
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Dear Me,

It's now seven months since you left school without a single qualification. Remember how your teacher and headmaster told you that you will find it hard to get a job and you proved them wrong by not only getting a job straight away but in an industry where it's very difficult to get into because it's a closed shop (strong unions). I know you only took this job until you are eighteen and then you want to work in the transport industry but that will never happen. You will be there for the next forty years! Don't worry about that as it's not as bad as it seems and there will be several changes to the place so it will be like working in a different place at times and, believe me, time will fly by and you will wonder where all those years have gone.

At the time of writing this you will realize how lucky life has treated you. You will have gone through life without any worries, unlike many people. The only upset you will have is losing mum and dad at an early age, so spend more time with them.

I know how shy you are right now but don't fret. You will be more confident as the years pass and will one day get married, have a beautiful daughter and wonderful grandson. They will upset you by moving to Spain but again don't worry. By the time they move there you will be able to get on a plane with no problem and have many holidays in the sun.

I know how much you like to travel and that will never diminish. You will always keep your interest in Railways and london buses. You will travel all around Britain by train and walk many, many miles on country rambles. and early in the next century will travel to many countries that you can only dream about now...and yes, you will go to the USA! The city you dream about, New York, you will go to in 1996.

That pop group you like, The Beatles. I have news for you. They will break up in 1970. But here's the funny thing. You will follow their solo careers but, in 1995, they will release an anthology and be top of the charrts again! They will always be around through every decade.

In the next century computers, which are just being invented and are the size of a house will become so small and cheap that almost eveyone will have access to one and that will amaze you. Not only will you be albe to talk to anyone in the world but you willl be able to look at places from above and even go down streets all without moving from your desk. There will be many message boards and you will join Beatles related ones. Yes The Beatles will still be around well into the next century! You will meet many fans who, not only are they not all yet born, but their parents are the small kids you see around. Last May The Beatles went round London taking pictures in what became known as 'The Mad Day Out' Well in 2009 you will go to the same locations and in April 2010 will go to a few more with other fans. Oh and one location is a minutes walk from you old school.

Thats about it Jim. Enjoy life.

Love

Jim

With every mistake we must surely be learning.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Excellent Jim, thanks! :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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manon
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Wow, I really enjoy resding all those letters. Really moving. I may try...
"Listen to the color of your dream."
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DCBeatle64
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Wow this has been cool reading all these...hmmm I kind of want to say something to my 16 year old self but I'm only 23 now although so much has changed since there. I do have a few thoughs and there have been some little changes here and there

Dear me,

well its only been 7 years since you were at that strange time in your live worrying what you are going to do for the rest of the live, brilliantly you still dont actually know, which right now I am no longer worried about like I was back when I was doing my GCSE's. You'll still be panicking about passing your science GCSE which amazingly you end up acheiving because you are kind of smart even though you blagged your way through school and later sixth form. Maybe you could do with working a bit harder rather than just being easy going about your education, but still be thankful it doesnt stress you to much until you start thinking the worst. You can do it. Although you shouldnt have worried about University and that you must do it and in a time frame. You are still there. You took time out, you worked and you have a more general idea of what you want to do, your live long ambition of becoming a teacher has faded because you have gained other interests. When your teacher says you should do politics you will listen and you will end of loving it which will completly change your path although you know as well I do how that will end or where it will go because I'm still unsure myself, it may end up taking you somewhere else completly different but thats ok, well I think thats ok now anyway, but we'll both see.

Best of all you do end up going to University in Scotland, you're back home and its good but even though you love home you end up changing from that kid who wasnt bothered about traveling around and exploring to someone who ends up going on holiday a lot. You explore places you never gave much regard for because it wasnt at the front of your mind and you know what thats part of the best experience and education you have had so far. Its helped you gain in confidence and knowledge, you still know some random general things and this has helped. You have friends from all over the world and have a good time coz of it. You now want to live somewhere else for a while, but we still have over a year before we make that decision so we shall see where this year takes us.

You end up losing touch with most your friends (until facebook takes over anyway) even though you all tell eachother you will be best of friends forever, well thats not true, but you still talk. They were your best friends at school and that was great but you have changed and they havent so much or the the other way round maybe.
In about a years time you will jokingly slag a girl you like for being veggie and about 2 years after that you'll end up going veggie yourself (in your face, dont judge. I know you were joking but be a bit nicer dont be an arse), so far you arent looking back, who knows in a year or more time, but right now you are a veggie and you get on with it, some of your friends dont like it or get it but when has that ever stopped you, you make new friends who are in that same way like minded which is good fun. Keep loving meat until you suddenly realise actually this is no longer for me, it does come quite sudden but just roll with it, you become more caring and more involved in social issues and helping deprived people, you def become a bit more lefty because you can now, you dont have to reign in your ideas anymore because you arent in that judgemental right wing area anymore when you have to listen to ignorance. I wish sometimes you would have said something more after being shot down and accused of being to young to understand. You are never to young to understand that some things are just wrong and stop letting people say that.

You are still so shy, when I say to people now that I am shy they laugh, apparently you are no longer shy and have grown in confidence thanks to many things, over time you just talk to anyone and get on with it, so you will get better, you will take the moment even though as a 16 year old you are still that off the track loner. You are still a bit of a loner in some regards and you are still a bit odd ball but more people talk to you now which is nice, well done for sticking up for the underdog and not caring what others think about you, its still an important quality which you have, you do still manage to p*ss people off, try not to be to much of an arse, maybe you should try and be a bit more careful, but you still havent got that side of your character totally fine tuned so we shall see how that goes.
Hey you are now able to tell people older than you that that they are wrong and you are able to lead a team or tell a grown man to behave himself, I didnt think that would happen back when I was 16.

Ah and that thing you were set against doing and everyone said it wont last long or thought you were really weird well be proud you still havent touched alcohol and still have no plans to. You dont need it and you are strong for saying no, I'm thankful you said no to that, because you dont need it. People are still in shock you dont drink, 'well then what do you do' but there are more people out there who have similar thoughts than you think. You arent a party animal, but thats ok you dont need to be, your friends understand that.

You are still happy in yourself and thats pretty important to you still. You have always so far anyway managed to still have that confidence and I am very thankful for that and from what I remember you were thankful back when you were 16 too. All the stuff you have already gone through and continue to go through does make you stronger...Now heres to the future, I wonder how we are when we reach 30 and then older.

p.s one last thing. Your love for Sean Connery is still there but you discover a new man and it starts around about this age but doesnt go mental until a couple years later. Your love for Paul McCartney. That changes you but you have one hell of a ride even if you discover early on in your love that he is in fact a massive tool, but that helps open many doors for you

Good luck 16 year old self. So far you are ok. I'd be friends with you :P
I'm a BIGGER Beatles fan than you and I'm an even BIGGER Wings fan than that...
'You're a Paul McCartney fan? No you're a Wings fan'. 'Thankyou Scotland' Ho Hey Ho...
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Deleted User
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Great letter Dani! :clap:
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Mark Stephen Baker
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Dear Mark,

I know you hated reading at age sixteen so I sharn't waste my time writing anymore.
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Mark Stephen Baker
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Was that a bit of a cop out?
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Deleted User
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Dear Me,

Invest everything you have into Microsoft and Apple stock.

Signed,

Older, Wiser You (and You're welcome!)
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Bill
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PS: ^ He doesn't mean orchards!
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Bill
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Mark Stephen Baker
Apr 7 2010, 01:12 PM
Was that a bit of a cop out?
:yes:
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Mark Stephen Baker
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Bill
Apr 7 2010, 01:31 PM
Mark Stephen Baker
Apr 7 2010, 01:12 PM
Was that a bit of a cop out?
:yes:
I'll think of a better one.
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Bill
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Since it's time travel, he will probably be more interested.
But as we all know, you can't change history. 'Tis a paradox.
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BlueMolly2009
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I like this idea.

Dear Young Molly,
You've had it rough since you're one of the only disabled kids in your school in a small town. You've lived a sheltered life due to your disability, but don't let it get to you.
You're going to go through a LOT of rough patches and do several things you're going to regret, but things will get better in a way. You pass high school, but only with a C average and you'll try college twice, but it's just not for you.
Don't let certain people mess with your head, because it's only them that are the losers. Also, don't show yourself to be a know it all because you'll lose a lot of friends that way because they'll get tired of it. And DON'T whine and complain about things you can't have, because that won't get you anywhere.
You'll think you find love, but it won't last, but you'll find someone who you are friends with and you're happy with it. Single life is good. :)
You'll lose a couple people you love and you'll have a difficult time dealing with it, but you have a good support systme that will get you through it.
Just remember that "Life is what you make it." and don't forget it.

Love,
Adult Molly
Molly
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Mariele
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Dear Maz (that's what people called you then although it was hideous and you hated it!)

You have changed a lot in the last fourteen years, but you should feel proud that you are a lovely and fairly level headed girl already, although you could dress a bit better. What are those purple DMs?!?!

This group of friends you have now, will stick with you, all of them right up until today - and hopefully beyond. Through weddings and babies and all sorts of good and bad times. They are like family to you.

You are smart but your strength is your creativity and that is where you will flourish. You will love sixth form and that is where you will FINALLY get your first boyfriend. Don't worry! It does happen, you won't be "BEHIND" forever. But when he hurts you, try not to be too upset, as plenty more come along ;) and you have the best parents in the world to help you through that awkward first break-up...which is really soon, by the way!!

I would probably suggest skipping uni and going straight to drama school, as it is where you slightly lose your way and become uncharacteristically shy and depend too much on Andre and Emma - neither of whom do you any good at all. In reality, as much as you wish you were more like her - in fact behind all her confidence and bravado, she wishes she were more like you.


Apart from uni however, you get back on track quickly and meet some wonderful people. The best thing you will ever do is take a pay cut to start working at The London Dungeon, where you will meet even more wonderful people who you are still friends with today and have two very special relationships.

Who knows what will happen in the future, but just so you know - that aged thirty when I am writing this, you are very happy and carving a successful career in radio producing. Don't worry, you still act sometimes.

Here are a few things you should know:

~ The scatty/clumsiness never goes away so don't beat yourslef up about it so much - you can't change it.

~ BE PATIENT - Your impatience has got you into a LOT of trouble and STILL does now.

~ Have faith in your own ability.

~ Don't get so many tattoos - you will end up regretting some of them.

~ Say YES to the braces!!

~ You're right, he is gay, and make sure you are there for him when he comes out. It's a lot later than you all think it will be.

~ BE PATIENT.

~ That band that you are just getting really serious about - The Beatles - will, at times, be your only comfort!

~ Don't bother with the sax, harmonica or piano lessons. Your sh*t at music.

~ If you are with someone, it is not OK to cheat on them, even if you know they won't find out - coz actually it just f*cks with your head. And none of them deserve it.

~ SLOW DOWN!! Seriously, what's the rush?!

~ Enjoy going out with your fit boyfriend now, coz later on you get a fetish for fat comedians!

:lol:

Just do what you're doing Mazza, and you'll be fine!
M x


Edited by Mariele, Apr 21 2010, 03:41 PM.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Excellent, Mariele - thanks for that - you too, Molly. :)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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