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Age Differences In Relationships
Topic Started: Jan 22 2010, 07:03 PM (1,516 Views)
Cleo
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Discussion split from "The Photo Thread" - seemed to warrant its own thread.

I like her short hair, it's very cute. She seems to be a nice girl who enjoys what you enjoy.

You know Lee, I am pro love, if people are in love, age, race, financial situation etc don't matter. I was in love with some ignorant men who didn't want a relationship with me because of my age. Biggest bullsh*t ever. Be happy with your girl, life is short.

People have a big mouth and they will talk, no matter what.
Edited by JeffLynnesBeard, Jan 26 2010, 12:03 PM.
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Dorfliedot
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Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 07:03 PM
I like her short hair, it's very cute. She seems to be a nice girl who enjoys what you enjoy.

You know Lee, I am pro love, if people are in love, age, race, financial situation etc don't matter. I was in love with some ignorant men who didn't want a relationship with me because of my age. Biggest bullsh*t ever. Be happy with your girl, life is short.

People have a big mouth and they will talk, no matter what.
I am kidding with lee. I was with someone younger then me before.
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Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 07:03 PM
I like her short hair, it's very cute. She seems to be a nice girl who enjoys what you enjoy.

You know Lee, I am pro love, if people are in love, age, race, financial situation etc don't matter. I was in love with some ignorant men who didn't want a relationship with me because of my age. Biggest bullsh*t ever. Be happy with your girl, life is short.

People have a big mouth and they will talk, no matter what.
In the beginning our age difference was a HUGE issue, but now that everyone sees how well we get along together, most people are very happy for us. I know I couldn't be happier and Tina feels the same way. :wub: :hug: :wub:
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Dorfliedot
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LapisLee
Jan 22 2010, 09:27 PM
Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 07:03 PM
I like her short hair, it's very cute. She seems to be a nice girl who enjoys what you enjoy.

You know Lee, I am pro love, if people are in love, age, race, financial situation etc don't matter. I was in love with some ignorant men who didn't want a relationship with me because of my age. Biggest bullsh*t ever. Be happy with your girl, life is short.

People have a big mouth and they will talk, no matter what.
In the beginning our age difference was a HUGE issue, but now that everyone sees how well we get along together, most people are very happy for us. I know I couldn't be happier and Tina feels the same way. :wub: :hug: :wub:
When I was with brandon it was an issue too.
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Cleo
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I don't know a relationship without issues. Love is above everything.
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Penny Lane
Jan 24 2010, 11:05 AM
Cleo
Jan 23 2010, 05:38 PM
Dorfliedot
Jan 23 2010, 08:09 AM
Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 09:45 PM
I don't know a relationship without issues. Love is above everything.
Of course, however me being a women with a younger man I was hit with comments and other things. Like why don't you go change you baby diaper. or isn't you boyfriend wet behind the ears. and other stuff. However, I got pass all that only to have him leave me later. However, I am happy he has moved on and wish him all the best.
I like younger men. 18, 19
Ive been in a relationship with a guy who was 11 years older than me, I was 20 and he was 31 when I met him. Now I try not to go for the older guys.. I think it doesn't work in the long run. But to each their own I guess, maybe some people can pull it off. Lapislee, you do seem very happy.
I am very happy. Some on this forum may remember last year when I was dating my dialysis nurse for the last four years until January 3, 2009. I was deeply unhappy in that relationship, although she was only 10 years younger.
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Cleo
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Penny Lane
Jan 24 2010, 11:05 AM
Cleo
Jan 23 2010, 05:38 PM
Dorfliedot
Jan 23 2010, 08:09 AM
Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 09:45 PM
I don't know a relationship without issues. Love is above everything.
Of course, however me being a women with a younger man I was hit with comments and other things. Like why don't you go change you baby diaper. or isn't you boyfriend wet behind the ears. and other stuff. However, I got pass all that only to have him leave me later. However, I am happy he has moved on and wish him all the best.
I like younger men. 18, 19
Ive been in a relationship with a guy who was 11 years older than me, I was 20 and he was 31 when I met him. Now I try not to go for the older guys.. I think it doesn't work in the long run. But to each their own I guess, maybe some people can pull it off. Lapislee, you do seem very happy.
I prefer older guys for many reasons. I dated same age, younger and older. I prefer older.

My mother said "As long as they are not older than me, it's fine. I will not call a 60 year old my son in law".
:rofl:

I will not date someone that old but 5-20 years older is ok.

My mother is 26 years older than me. This is the age limit. :P

Obviously when you are 20 and date someone who is 31 is a big difference. When you are 30 and date someone who is 41 is completely different.

Edited by Cleo, Jan 24 2010, 05:16 PM.
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Penny Lane
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Cleo
Jan 24 2010, 05:15 PM
Penny Lane
Jan 24 2010, 11:05 AM
Cleo
Jan 23 2010, 05:38 PM
Dorfliedot
Jan 23 2010, 08:09 AM
Cleo
Jan 22 2010, 09:45 PM
I don't know a relationship without issues. Love is above everything.
Of course, however me being a women with a younger man I was hit with comments and other things. Like why don't you go change you baby diaper. or isn't you boyfriend wet behind the ears. and other stuff. However, I got pass all that only to have him leave me later. However, I am happy he has moved on and wish him all the best.
I like younger men. 18, 19
Ive been in a relationship with a guy who was 11 years older than me, I was 20 and he was 31 when I met him. Now I try not to go for the older guys.. I think it doesn't work in the long run. But to each their own I guess, maybe some people can pull it off. Lapislee, you do seem very happy.
I prefer older guys for many reasons. I dated same age, younger and older. I prefer older.

My mother said "As long as they are not older than me, it's fine. I will not call a 60 year old my son in law".
:rofl:

I will not date someone that old but 5-20 years older is ok.

My mother is 26 years older than me. This is the age limit. :P

Obviously when you are 20 and date someone who is 31 is a big difference. When you are 30 and date someone who is 41 is completely different.

I think 15 years older would be my limit.. Never been into guys my own age or younger. I just dont pay attention to them, Im drawn to older men, can't help it! But the differences are just to big.
I was a student, he had a fulltime job as a teacher at a university (teaching people my age, lol) and had his whole life together, has a house, wanted to settle down. I liked being on my own too much, didnt want to feel tied down, didnt know what I wanted to do with my life.. so it didnt work. I agree that maybe its different when im older too, the differences will be smaller.
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Penny Lane
Jan 24 2010, 06:58 PM
Cleo
Jan 24 2010, 05:15 PM
Penny Lane
Jan 24 2010, 11:05 AM
Cleo
Jan 23 2010, 05:38 PM
Dorfliedot
Jan 23 2010, 08:09 AM

Quoting limited to 5 levels deep
I like younger men. 18, 19
Ive been in a relationship with a guy who was 11 years older than me, I was 20 and he was 31 when I met him. Now I try not to go for the older guys.. I think it doesn't work in the long run. But to each their own I guess, maybe some people can pull it off. Lapislee, you do seem very happy.
I prefer older guys for many reasons. I dated same age, younger and older. I prefer older.

My mother said "As long as they are not older than me, it's fine. I will not call a 60 year old my son in law". :rofl:

I will not date someone that old but 5-20 years older is ok.

My mother is 26 years older than me. This is the age limit. :P

Obviously when you are 20 and date someone who is 31 is a big difference. When you are 30 and date someone who is 41 is completely different.

I think 15 years older would be my limit.. Never been into guys my own age or younger. I just dont pay attention to them, Im drawn to older men, can't help it! But the differences are just to big. I was a student, he had a fulltime job as a teacher at a university (teaching people my age, lol) and had his whole life together, has a house, wanted to settle down. I liked being on my own too much, didnt want to feel tied down, didnt know what I wanted to do with my life.. so it didnt work. I agree that maybe its different when im older too, the differences will be smaller.
You should never put limits on love. Age really is just a number.
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LadyMacca
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I prefer older guys myself, some tend to be abit more mature then the one's my age, although some have surprised me!
I can't see myself with somebody much older than I.. like 20-30 years older (unless your name is Paul!) but 5-10 years, yeah that works. (James Macca?!!)
-Liz
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Cleo
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I can't see myself with a 63 year old unless it's one of the Daves :wub:

I would have to be careful with David Gilmour. My mother think he is hot.
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Kit_Kat
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Just to put my 2p in, I was 20 when I met Paul and he was 30. There has never been a problem with the age difference because it doesn't feel like he is 10 years older, because he doesn't look or act it and 4 years on we're still together
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LadyMacca
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Well Michelle, there is no chance in hell I'll ever be with Paul, and to be honest I'd rather be with the much younger version, lol. But yea I couldn't do it.. that's like dating my dad. :sick:
-Liz
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Great pictures Natalie! And to everyone who has a problem with age differences of more than ten years or so, tell me how much older Paul is than you and if you would turn him down if he was really, seriously interested in a romantic relationship with you for whatever reason? :devil:
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BeatleBarb
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I've dated someone 20 years older, married someone 10 years older and married someone younger (you get the idea). While there was plenty that went wrong, the quantity and quality of their brain cells had more to do with the failure than their quantity of years.
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wackadoo
Jan 26 2010, 12:40 AM
LapisLee
Jan 25 2010, 06:45 PM
Great pictures Natalie! And to everyone who has a problem with age differences of more than ten years or so, tell me how much older Paul is than you and if you would turn him down if he was really, seriously interested in a romantic relationship with you for whatever reason? :devil:
Now that you put it that way.... Seriously Lee, it's your business and you look happy so it's all good. I don't care about age differences.
It was a pretty big deal for me when I first met Tina because she was only 19 and I had no idea what I was getting into, I just knew that I had to get out of my previous relationship. Now, age is only a factor occasionally when Tina feels that I am too controlling, picking movies, restaurants and concerts or when she feels I have such a strong need to be right, but I am fairly certain I would still be doing all that even if I was the one that was 21.
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Bill
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LapisLee
Jan 26 2010, 12:54 AM
It was a pretty big deal for me when I first met Tina because she was only 19 and I had no idea what I was getting into, I just knew that I had to get out of my previous relationship. Now, age is only a factor occasionally when Tina feels that I am too controlling, picking movies, restaurants and concerts or when she feels I have such a strong need to be right, ....
Why-ever would she think that? :P

So has she taken you to any Pink concerts or dance clubs? ;)
Edited by Bill, Jan 26 2010, 01:00 AM.
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Bill
Jan 26 2010, 01:00 AM
LapisLee
Jan 26 2010, 12:54 AM
It was a pretty big deal for me when I first met Tina because she was only 19 and I had no idea what I was getting into, I just knew that I had to get out of my previous relationship. Now, age is only a factor occasionally when Tina feels that I am too controlling, picking movies, restaurants and concerts or when she feels I have such a strong need to be right, ....
Why-ever would she think that? :P

So has she taken you to any Pink concerts or dance clubs? ;)
She took me to see Blink 182, Weezer, No Doubt, Paramore, Halestorm and Chevelle. I loved all of them! We wanted to go see 1000-Foot Krutch and Switchfoot, but couldn't make it. I get more than my fair share of Disney films though...
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Personally, I don't give a f*ck how old someone is, it's all about their character, personality and loyalty... and every single person I've met has been lacking in one of those fields.

Don't worry, I'm sure they've felt the same way about me, too.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Bill
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 01:34 AM
Personally, I don't give a f*ck how old someone is, it's all about their character, personality and loyalty... and every single person I've met has been lacking in one of those fields.

Don't worry, I'm sure they've felt the same way about me, too.
Attraction (in any form) can occur between people of any ages, but a successful long-term relationship also depends on what people want out of life. It's more than just having things in common. I have seen many relationships come and go because one partner is in their early 20s and the other is mid 30s or older. One has their whole life ahead of them while the other has been around the block a few times. One is in their first serious relationship, the other has been through breakups before. One is set in their ways, the other is out for all the new experiences they can find. It's not a value judgement in any way, shape or form, but time-of-life is a factor. It's a question of whether both partners want the same things, both now and in ten years' time.

It's something that people in age-gap relationships really should consider. So long as they have and are prepared for those issues, good luck to them. Just don't shove it in my face every five minutes. ;)
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I think Tina just wants sex and I would like to outlive the cat. :yes:
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LapisLee
Jan 26 2010, 01:48 AM
I think Tina just wants sex and I would like to outlive the cat. :yes:
You know, I think that's fair enough!
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Cleo
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Bill
Jan 26 2010, 01:46 AM
JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 01:34 AM
Personally, I don't give a f*ck how old someone is, it's all about their character, personality and loyalty... and every single person I've met has been lacking in one of those fields.

Don't worry, I'm sure they've felt the same way about me, too.
Attraction (in any form) can occur between people of any ages, but a successful long-term relationship also depends on what people want out of life. It's more than just having things in common. I have seen many relationships come and go because one partner is in their early 20s and the other is mid 30s or older. One has their whole life ahead of them while the other has been around the block a few times. One is in their first serious relationship, the other has been through breakups before. One is set in their ways, the other is out for all the new experiences they can find. It's not a value judgement in any way, shape or form, but time-of-life is a factor. It's a question of whether both partners want the same things, both now and in ten years' time.

It's something that people in age-gap relationships really should consider. So long as they have and are prepared for those issues, good luck to them. Just don't shove it in my face every five minutes. ;)
I see but I am sorry to say that what you wrote is not a rule and should not be.

Some things in life are out of control including life itself. Things change, feelings change.

There will always be issues. If same age relationships were the best choice, people wouldn't separate.

The best relationship is a relationship where both live for today and both are in love. Being in love with each other is wanting the same things. We don't know if we will be alive tomorrow. When you play safe you lose.
Edited by Cleo, Jan 26 2010, 02:28 AM.
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Cleo
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 01:34 AM
Personally, I don't give a f*ck how old someone is, it's all about their character, personality and loyalty... and every single person I've met has been lacking in one of those fields.

Don't worry, I'm sure they've felt the same way about me, too.
I don't give a f*ck either. I prefer older men because I like long term relationships and 27 years old men just want to enjoy life. I want someone to share a life.

One person said that I like older men because I didn't have my father. I had a man in my life, my godfather was my father. My father didn't live with me, but he visited me.

Almost all my friends are older than me. My best friend is almost 80.

I just feel comfortable near older people what can I do? My soul is old.

If we didn't count the time, age wouldn't exist and maybe people would be happier.

Edited by Cleo, Jan 26 2010, 02:47 AM.
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temptressss

i agree with bill. 10 years from now one partner might just be cozy and settled and the other one still wants something more. from experience i know it's hard to be young and just be 'cozy and settled'...there's more out there to live and learn about and it's not easy to give up those fruitful and fun years by sitting in front of the fire!

sometimes i think younger women go with older men because they feel 'safe'...there's a stable kind of feeling with an older man that knows what he wants out of life and is confident in himself. the man's thrilled coz he's got some young chica and the girl feels safe in the mature comfort of his arms. til her wings start itchin'...

so much for zippin' it!!! muahahaha.
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Cleo
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I don't know 1 person who doesn't like to feel safe in a relationship.

By the way, when I want to feel safe, I stay with my family, I don't need a man. I´m speaking for myself, I can't speak for the whole mankind just like people can't speak for me.

Today I will stay with a man for love not for safety or whatever.

There is a big generalization of human beings motives and a false sense of right and wrong here.

There is not right and wrong just like there is no chance but there is freedom of choice.

The wise man believes in more than 1 truth. ;)

I believe same age and different age relationships can work and can't work. Every case is unique.
Edited by Cleo, Jan 26 2010, 04:54 AM.
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temptressss

of course everyone wants to feel safe. my point was...if a young person is living in a bad situation, neglect or abuse by a parent or spouse and someone comes along and 'saves' them... of course they will cling to them feeling that is the only safehaven they have. then when they feel safe enough they realise there ARE other places where they can be safe, too. maybe what i meant was it is a safe escape route when they feel there is none. sometimes you have to look at the full picture to be able to critique a situation. even though age is 'just a number'...living and experiencing life is what forms our true persona...that persona changes as we age. while love is beautiful and we feel it is "all you need", realistically, there is more to it than that. true love, i believe, is when each partner can grow and continues to accept the changes their partner goes through. love is really a test of time. i am one who really can't talk because i get bored 'easily' when i am with one person. sad but true. maybe it's the ADD in me. hehe.

on the other hand, if you are living for the here and now...then go for it. sweet nothings in the ear are always beautiful.
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Bill
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Cleo
Jan 26 2010, 04:53 AM
I don't know 1 person who doesn't like to feel safe in a relationship.

By the way, when I want to feel safe, I stay with my family, I don't need a man. I´m speaking for myself, I can't speak for the whole mankind just like people can't speak for me.

Today I will stay with a man for love not for safety or whatever.

There is a big generalization of human beings motives and a false sense of right and wrong here.

There is not right and wrong just like there is no chance but there is freedom of choice.

The wise man believes in more than 1 truth. ;)

I believe same age and different age relationships can work and can't work. Every case is unique.
I think you're right. We can't generalise about relationships. Just to clarify my earlier point, I wasn't suggesting that that's what happens all the time. I was just suggesting that it is a factor. People have many different reasons for being in relationships and every reason is valid. I think what's important is that two partners are in a relationship for the same, or at least compatible reasons. :)
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FamousGroupie
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I personally have always gotten along better and have tended to fall for men younger than me. I don't like to feel too controlled, which is what I have generally found with the older men I have dated. It's either that, or I act younger than I am and can't cope with 'grown-up' relationships yet.

Anyway, this man is the love of my life, and I can say that with no pretence or second thoughts.

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JeffLynnesBeard
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In my experience, the age difference in my relationship didn't matter at all - until, all of a sudden, it did.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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NickAdams2010

I have to admit it, it's the older woman that does it for me. Look at me i'm a young fresh 23 year old, i don't understand many people who are under 21 (different generation to mine altogether a lot has changed in 5 years) and i don't trust someone my age enough to be in a relationship with them.

But an older woman knows what she wants and she knows how to take care of her little soldier so to speak lol (no i don't have motherly issues) although they say a lot of guys who prefer the cougars do, it's not the case with me. I just like a woman who probably has more in common with me than my piers, just as Cleo said.

Also this day of age older women can be pretty darn attractive.
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temptressss

whoa, clare. you and your man look sparkly in love!!!!
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temptressss

JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 12:06 PM
In my experience, the age difference in my relationship didn't matter at all - until, all of a sudden, it did.


good 'excuse' although it was probably something that person realized as the relationship blossomed.
Edited by temptressss, Jan 26 2010, 12:49 PM.
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Kit_Kat
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LapisLee
Jan 25 2010, 06:45 PM
Great pictures Natalie! And to everyone who has a problem with age differences of more than ten years or so, tell me how much older Paul is than you and if you would turn him down if he was really, seriously interested in a romantic relationship with you for whatever reason? :devil:
I'm sorry I don't know what you are asking
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:48 PM
JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 12:06 PM
In my experience, the age difference in my relationship didn't matter at all - until, all of a sudden, it did.


good 'excuse' although it was probably something that person realized as the relationship blossomed.
Well, she took her sweet time realising it, that's all I can say.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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FamousGroupie
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:42 PM
whoa, clare. you and your man look sparkly in love!!!!
Thanks, Nancy. I have to say we are having some real big problems right now. We may not make it. But that won't stop me being so much in love with him.
I don't believe in Bondi. I don't believe in rugby league. I believe in Yoko, John Lennon, the Lost Weekend and me.
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temptressss

i'm not saying ALL age-different relationships end in disaster. but if there are some statistics out there i think those relationships would probably be higher risk.
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temptressss

JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 12:51 PM
temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:48 PM
JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 12:06 PM
In my experience, the age difference in my relationship didn't matter at all - until, all of a sudden, it did.


good 'excuse' although it was probably something that person realized as the relationship blossomed.
Well, she took her sweet time realising it, that's all I can say.
i totally understand, andy. the road of love is sometimes long and rough and not without detours and dead ends.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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No regrets, though. I had a few very happy years which I wouldn't trade for anything.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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temptressss

and i'm sure there'll be many more for you. life is made up of these many learning packets of information and experiences.
Edited by temptressss, Jan 26 2010, 01:31 PM.
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LadyMacca
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Kit_Kat
Jan 26 2010, 12:49 PM
LapisLee
Jan 25 2010, 06:45 PM
Great pictures Natalie! And to everyone who has a problem with age differences of more than ten years or so, tell me how much older Paul is than you and if you would turn him down if he was really, seriously interested in a romantic relationship with you for whatever reason? :devil:
I'm sorry I don't know what you are asking
I think he means Paul McCartney hun, not your hubby.
-Liz
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Cleo
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I don't remember starting this thread :P

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Cleo
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:57 PM
i'm not saying ALL age-different relationships end in disaster. but if there are some statistics out there i think those relationships would probably be higher risk.
If there are some statistics you will see that relationships end, same age and different age.


What did happen to your gaucho and carioca? :ponder: :P


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BeatleBarb
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 26 2010, 12:06 PM
In my experience, the age difference in my relationship didn't matter at all - until, all of a sudden, it did.
Yes, and when that happens, it's just an excuse. When it's over, it's over and one's breathing bothers you at that point.
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temptressss

Cleo
Jan 26 2010, 02:45 PM
temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:57 PM
i'm not saying ALL age-different relationships end in disaster. but if there are some statistics out there i think those relationships would probably be higher risk.
If there are some statistics you will see that relationships end, same age and different age.


What did happen to your gaucho and carioca? :ponder: :P


got bored with carioca and gaucho still here. it's been 8 years! :wub: LOVE THEM HOT BRAZEE'S.... :yahoo:
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NickAdams2010

Nick stars in the new movie

Nick - The Cougar Hunter :devil:
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 08:29 AM
of course everyone wants to feel safe. my point was...if a young person is living in a bad situation, neglect or abuse by a parent or spouse and someone comes along and 'saves' them... of course they will cling to them feeling that is the only safe haven they have. then when they feel safe enough they realise there ARE other places where they can be safe, too. maybe what i meant was it is a safe escape route when they feel there is none. sometimes you have to look at the full picture to be able to critique a situation. even though age is 'just a number'...living and experiencing life is what forms our true persona...that persona changes as we age. while love is beautiful and we feel it is "all you need", realistically, there is more to it than that. true love, i believe, is when each partner can grow and continues to accept the changes their partner goes through. love is really a test of time. i am one who really can't talk because i get bored 'easily' when i am with one person. sad but true. maybe it's the ADD in me. hehe.

on the other hand, if you are living for the here and now...then go for it. sweet nothings in the ear are always beautiful.
It's true that Tina was in a very bad situation when we first met: homeless (living in a van or motel rooms), taking care of nine younger children and being abused by her father and neglected by her mother. In good conscience I could not allow her to stay in that situation when I had the power to change it.

As far as being 'cozy and settled' goes, I wish Tina was more gregarious and ready to take on more activities, as am I, but I have gotten used to her being more of a stay at home person with few goals or ambitions. I have tried to help her get out more by encouraging her to get her Driver's License (check!), buy a car (check!), get a job (check!), go back to school and make more friends (check, check, check!) and, slowly but surely, she has achieved all of these goals.

I feel like I shouldn't be an anchor that holds her down, but more of a starting block that allows her the freedom to explore and find out who she really is and what she really wants out of life. I would never stop her from pursuing her dreams whether they included me or not.
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Cleo
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 05:06 PM
Cleo
Jan 26 2010, 02:45 PM
temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 12:57 PM
i'm not saying ALL age-different relationships end in disaster. but if there are some statistics out there i think those relationships would probably be higher risk.
If there are some statistics you will see that relationships end, same age and different age.


What did happen to your gaucho and carioca? :ponder: :P


got bored with carioca and gaucho still here. it's been 8 years! :wub: LOVE THEM HOT BRAZEE'S.... :yahoo:
Naughty :P

I like gauchos from the country side of Rio Grande do Sul. They have a pure heart and sexy accent.




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temptressss

lee, tina is very lucky to have found you. you have been an angel to her. she finally has the peace of having a real home and stability. it seems you are bringing her out of her shell and letting her know she has worth. that's so important. i loved your explanation on this. i wish something could be done to the 'family' she was supposedly raised by. what jerkoffs! how can they even sleep at night. how did you meet her?

while i frown on huge age-gap relationships, you have brought her something she might never have known. IF she should ever decide to spread her wings further, you know that what you have done was a positive in her life. and you seem accepting it might not be a forever kind of thing. a mature way to look at it.
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temptressss
Jan 26 2010, 11:27 PM
lee, tina is very lucky to have found you. you have been an angel to her. she finally has the peace of having a real home and stability. it seems you are bringing her out of her shell and letting her know she has worth. that's so important. i loved your explanation on this. i wish something could be done to the 'family' she was supposedly raised by. what jerkoffs! how can they even sleep at night. how did you meet her?

while i frown on huge age-gap relationships, you have brought her something she might never have known. IF she should ever decide to spread her wings further, you know that what you have done was a positive in her life. and you seem accepting it might not be a forever kind of thing. a mature way to look at it.
Thanks temptress. We had the Phoenix police investigate her parents for child abuse, but the mother and oldest daughter countered the testimony from Tina and her 19-year-old brother Erol, who has also escaped. The 14-year-old daughter had called the police originally, but once they sequestered her, she refused to back up her initial claims of child abuse out of fear for what her father might do, so nothing could be done. I am not sure how many of the other eight children have been sexually abused.
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Cleo
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Lee, it's nice what you are doing for her but how does she feel when you talk about her being abused by her parents in public?

I would not like it.
Edited by Cleo, Jan 27 2010, 02:40 AM.
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BeatleBarb
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My father's second wife was Native American and she was younger than me. Apparently she was use to much older men her life. Her mother had married a much older man. She was very nice and it didn't bother me or her in the least. I don't think it was any sort of issue with my dad either. Unfortunately they didn't stay married.
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NickAdams2010

BeatleBarb
Jan 27 2010, 02:42 AM
My father's second wife was Native American and she was younger than me. Apparently she was use to much older men her life. Her mother had married a much older man. She was very nice and it didn't bother me or her in the least. I don't think it was any sort of issue with my dad either. Unfortunately they didn't stay married.
Was it awkward for you having a younger stepmother?
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BeatleBarb
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NickAdams2010
Jan 27 2010, 03:09 AM
BeatleBarb
Jan 27 2010, 02:42 AM
My father's second wife was Native American and she was younger than me. Apparently she was use to much older men her life. Her mother had married a much older man. She was very nice and it didn't bother me or her in the least. I don't think it was any sort of issue with my dad either. Unfortunately they didn't stay married.
Was it awkward for you having a younger stepmother?
Nope, not at all. She didn't really "function" as a stepmother, but no, it didn't bother me at all. I quite liked her. Let's see I was 32 at the time I met her and she was 30!
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NickAdams2010

Not bad, it would be more of a good friendship then

I'm still trying to find the right girl out there for me, i wonder if it will be an older woman, but even if not, if she loves me for who i am why should it matter.
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Cleo
Jan 27 2010, 02:40 AM
Lee, it's nice what you are doing for her but how does she feel when you talk about her being abused by her parents in public?

I would not like it.
You're probably right. I have enough going on with my dad right now. Tina has been relatively stable since December 11, when they changed her medications. I hope it stays that way.
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LadyMacca
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-Imagine-
Yeah I agree with Cleo on this. Although what you did for her was awesome..
I wouldn't want that sort of information to be talked about amongst people I didn't know.
Because really it isn't any of our business.
-Liz
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JeffLynnesBeard
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I made an assumption that because Lee was talking about it, that he would have checked with Tina first. I hope that's the case.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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temptressss

i wasn't asking for details, really. just hoped it was something that was investigated because NO ONE should be able to get away with that. the important thing is they are both happy and she is safe.
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If anyone wants more details, please PM me. We are both on Facebook as well. Tina has no problems with my discussing her past issues in broad strokes, but does not like for me to discuss how it affects our current relationship, because my point of view is, of course, different from hers. She has been a godsend for me just as much as I have been helpful for her.
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A day in the life
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I could imagine there being problems in the long run - in many cases at least - if there is a very big age difference.

I prefer to date someone my age, give or take a couple of years.

But I know some girls who would never date someone younger, even if it's a year or two. I don't really see the problem, if the guy is mature, and both people involved are adults obviously..
Edited by A day in the life, Jan 28 2010, 01:41 PM.
We all wanna change the world.
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I do not recommend dating someone with a large age difference as the degree of difficulty is much higher and it takes a great deal of patience and understanding just to get through the first year. I guess Tina and I have had a lot of luck.
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A day in the life
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Yeah I don't think I would.

I would be interested to know - from anyone- if you feel there is a stigma attached these days to dating a younger man. (I'm talking a couple of years younger only at the most).

I've heard mixed opinions on this, depending on who I ask.
We all wanna change the world.
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BeatleBarb
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I'll let you know if I change my mind on this....
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A day in the life
Jan 29 2010, 12:47 PM
Yeah I don't think I would.

I would be interested to know - from anyone- if you feel there is a stigma attached these days to dating a younger man. (I'm talking a couple of years younger only at the most).

I've heard mixed opinions on this, depending on who I ask.
I can't imagine that anyone would care either way if the age difference was ten years or less.
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Jacaranda
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I'm four years older than my husband. We've been together for 12 years and it has never made a difference, except in a positive way!

I have a friend who is 10 years older than her husband; there's definitely more of an older woman dynamic there, but it's not made a difference either.

Funny sometimes when the man is older it makes more of a difference -- there is 7 years difference between one of my friends and her husband (he's older) and he seem MUCH older. Of course they've had four kids and maybe it's been harder on him than her! :rofl:
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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Catherine Zeta-Jones was on The View today and they asked her what it was like having a husband that is 25 years older and she said that it would have been a problem when she was one year old, but that it didn't matter at all now that she is 40.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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That reminds me of when Debbie McGee was on the Mrs. Merton show.

Mrs. Merton (Caroline Aherne) asked Debbie, "So what was it that first attracted you to multi-millionaire Paul Daniels?"

;)
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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DCBeatle64
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Wings nutter
who cares about age as long as its legal and both people in the relationship are happy then that must be all that matters
I'm a BIGGER Beatles fan than you and I'm an even BIGGER Wings fan than that...
'You're a Paul McCartney fan? No you're a Wings fan'. 'Thankyou Scotland' Ho Hey Ho...
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DCBeatle64
Jan 29 2010, 09:31 PM
who cares about age as long as its legal and both people in the relationship are happy then that must be all that matters
Thank you Dani! (Two free tickets to Paul's next concert with courtesy first class roundtrip airfare from anywhere are on their way... :whistle: )
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tinybubbleca
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I in in a relationship with a 15 year age difference.. .and its ruff... he thinks I am too young to know thing.. he is too old and stuck in his ways... there is A LOT of conflict because of age.
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kink
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on again, off again
I'm all for "if the people are in love" and blah blah, but I do often think about practical issues that may come up, that people here have already mentioned. Plus, to be really honest, I am not even attracted to men much older than myself.
When you fall in love, nothing really matters. When you get into a routine, everything seems to matter. Personally, I feel blessed that my... partner/ boyfriend/ (why are all these words horrible, anyway you get the idea) is only three years older than me. We have been going through - roughly - the same phases. In the past and again now. We met as wild youths, and now we're both looking for jobs and to settle down, we're old and tired... :P It's nice to be understood. I don't think I could be with someone younger who would want to get wasted every night, I've had my share of that, or with someone older who would talk about his job all the time. Stupid generalisations, but you know what I mean. For others it may work like a charm and I never frown upon any relationships, unless they are blatantly based on profit. My very first boyfriend was significantly older than me, and, really, did it go anywhere? I was still going to school and he had a job, sometimes when I think about it it seems quite perverse :mellow:
Strawberry Fields: We put the FUN in dysfunctional.
-BeatleBarb, 2007
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NickAdams2010

I guess its just how different people are
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Cleo
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When I am 60 I will think about dating someone who is 60.
While I wait for this important moment, I am moving to one asylum where grannies are wild and listen to 13th floor elevators.

Edited by Cleo, Jan 30 2010, 03:10 PM.
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BeatleBarb
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Cleo
Jan 30 2010, 03:09 PM
When I am 60 I will think about dating someone who is 60.
While I wait for this important moment, I am moving to one asylum where grannies are wild and listen to 13th floor elevators.

Michelle - that's where I want to be! (I'm practically there). Actually, I was reading an article in a magazine we have here in the library, called "The Utne Reader" and it has an article about fun, aging women who are interested in forming sort of a living arrangement where they all live together, support each other, trade services, take care of each other, wear purple, and do heroin....lol (just kidding about the last part).
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NickAdams2010

I probably wont make old age lmao!!!
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kink
Jan 30 2010, 02:00 PM
I'm all for "if the people are in love" and blah blah, but I do often think about practical issues that may come up, that people here have already mentioned. Plus, to be really honest, I am not even attracted to men much older than myself.

When you fall in love, nothing really matters. When you get into a routine, everything seems to matter. Personally, I feel blessed that my... partner/ boyfriend/ (why are all these words horrible, anyway you get the idea) is only three years older than me. We have been going through - roughly - the same phases. In the past and again now. We met as wild youths, and now we're both looking for jobs and to settle down, we're old and tired... :P

It's nice to be understood. I don't think I could be with someone younger who would want to get wasted every night, I've had my share of that, or with someone older who would talk about his job all the time. Stupid generalisations, but you know what I mean. For others it may work like a charm and I never frown upon any relationships, unless they are blatantly based on profit. My very first boyfriend was significantly older than me, and, really, did it go anywhere? I was still going to school and he had a job, sometimes when I think about it it seems quite perverse :mellow:
We are also wild youths, but we do not enjoy getting wasted. I think we understand each other very well, but we have no idea where 'this' is going and don't really care as long as every day is filled with fun, love and happiness. Tina is the one looking for a job and I am the one supporting her the best I can, although I am disabled and may depend on her more as I get older. It's entirely up to her if she still wants to be there for me in five or ten years. I would be happy for her either way.
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A day in the life
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Thanks for the opinions guys.

I wouldn't have thought people care about something that small of a difference in age either, but evidently some do. (I used to think it was 'weird' too to be honest..)

Same as other 'criteria' people may have for dating (or not dating) someone I guess. It differs.

Which leads me to an interesting point someone made to me recently (sorry, slightly OT) -
do people really have a 'type'? That person argued no, not really. I think I agree.

Because someone I like right now goes against everything I thought my 'type' was, physically speaking. (Light brown blondish hair, blue eyes for one thing - never thought I'd see the day..)
We all wanna change the world.
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Cleo
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I think we all have a "type" but love is a mystery. Today I prefer dark haired guys but in the past I liked blondes. When I see a handsome blond I look, lol. I don't like guys with muscles, never liked. I prefer chubby and funny. :P Chubby guys are warm and like to try new food. :P
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NickAdams2010

Cleo
Jan 30 2010, 11:08 PM
I think we all have a "type" but love is a mystery. Today I prefer dark haired guys but in the past I liked blondes. When I see a handsome blond I look, lol. I don't like guys with muscles, never liked. I prefer chubby and funny. :P Chubby guys are warm and like to try new food. :P
Well Well i'm a chubby guy me sen lol


I've always had a thing for the older woman though hehe
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A day in the life
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Cleo
Jan 30 2010, 11:08 PM
I think we all have a "type" but love is a mystery. Today I prefer dark haired guys but in the past I liked blondes. When I see a handsome blond I look, lol. I don't like guys with muscles, never liked. I prefer chubby and funny. :P Chubby guys are warm and like to try new food. :P
You and your food. :p

We all wanna change the world.
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ogoble
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I would not see a problem being in a relationship with you because of your age. A man would have to be a dummy to....
Posted Image Beatles/Paul McCartney & Wings Fan Posted Image
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NickAdams2010

Yeah i must admit i believe it's more of a woman thing
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pood for paul

I haven't dated anyone my own age since High School (a LONG time ago)
The man I am seeing now is 7 years younger.

Younger, older, your same age...whatever floats your boat~ ^_^
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad...
Take a sad song, and make it better..."
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Queenbee
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My husband is seven and half years younger than me. He is the only man i dated younger. I usually went for the guys who were seven-ten years older than me, so I really went backward. I remember the guy I was dating when I met Bert, he was worried I'd break off with him for someone much younger. I called him my Kenny Roger's boyfriend back in the late 90's because he looked exactly like Kenny when Kenny was good lookin'. I did end up breaking up with him and going out with Bert. Here we are going on twenty years this year and we were married 3 1/2 months after we met. :rofl:

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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LadyMacca
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-Imagine-
Age really is just a number, till you get the anna nicole and that old dude, then its just.. whoa.
-Liz
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LadyMacca
Feb 5 2010, 01:13 AM
Age really is just a number, till you get the anna nicole and that old dude, then its just.. whoa.
Even I would question the legitimacy of that relationship if a billion dollars was not involved.

Vickie Lynn Marshall (November 28, 1967 – February 8, 2007), better known under the stage name of Anna Nicole Smith, was an American model, sex symbol, actress and television personality. She first gained popularity in Playboy, becoming the 1993 Playmate of the Year. She modeled for clothing companies, including Guess jeans and Lane Bryant. She also starred in her own reality TV show, The Anna Nicole Show.

Born and raised in Texas, Smith dropped out of high school and was married at the age of 17. Her highly publicized second marriage to oil business executive and billionaire J. Howard Marshall, 63 years her senior, resulted in speculation that she married the octogenarian for his money, which she denied. Following his death, she began a lengthy legal battle over a share of his estate; her case, Marshall v. Marshall, reached the U.S. Supreme Court on a question of federal jurisdiction. She died at age 39, apparently as a result of an overdose of prescription drugs. In the months before her death, she was the focus of renewed press coverage surrounding the death of her son, Daniel Smith, and the paternity and custody battle over her daughter Dannielynn.
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LadyMacca
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-Imagine-
yea, she was just a pretty mess.
-Liz
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