Jammi

Jun 3 2009, 08:59 AM

Undead....

The day we met in person
I looked into your eye's
And i saw where i wanted to be

You were loving, kind, sweet
And so very soft-spoken
How very contrary, to begin this journey in a cemetery

It was you, it was me
Words stuck in my throat
As you laid there,looking up at me

I wondered to myself
"Who IS this man?"
His very existance pierced through me

He has taken me
In a way no other ever did
Where am i? Who am i? And Why?

With the reminder of death all around
I was reminded of life
What it was like to actually be Alive

For up to this point
I was not...
But was only undead

I wish i would have known
That in your world,
You were some kind of celebrity

All of my walls
Would have been up
To protect my inner-most being

To be thought of, as one
Of many in your harum
Just isn't for me

I will always remember you
Always love you, always want you
You touched that special place and brought me to life, for a minute

I now must go back
Into a life of not living
Once again....Undead.


Story Of Us

I couldn't believe you looked my way
My mind was blank, I didn't know what to say
But you came on sweet and strong
I knew I'd fall for you before too long

You confided how you'd cried
The women you loved, how they cheated and lied
How could they hurt, one so loving and kind
You were so deep and tender, you just blew my mind

All I wanted to do
Was just get closer to you
Wanted you to see
All the good lovin inside of me

Somebody told me that you were just, a really bad man
I fell into your eye's, as you tenderly held my hand
You said that it was all just, untrue things
And I believed you because, you are my king

I wanted to love you till forever
And you know, I'd hurt you never
But you ignore and push me away
Still keep me hidden, I never wanted it to be that way

When I am with you, I have no doubt
I know that you love me, I cant even think about
The days gone by, when I was all alone and cryin
You don't call or write.....baby, I know you've been lyin

You might think its me, but baby its not
I gave it all to you, and I gave you alot
I waited patiently, for you to mean what you say
I just waited for your love to be proved, day after day

I think maybe it's love, that you can't understand
I'll look at you lovingly, while I hold your hand
I'll say that, it's breaking my heart and I don't wanna go
But, I will always love you and I just wanted you to know.


Stronger


I woke up today
Alot stronger than yesterday
But not as strong as I'll be tomorrow
I need to get rid, of all this sorrow

You don't like hurtin anyone
But givin it to me, was so much fun
You couldn't see, you never realized
Along with my love, so much pain was in my eye's

I thought I could wait, that you'd come around
But, I'm sick of my tears falling to the ground
I yearn for you night after night
I'm so tired of this emotional fight

You know that I'll always love you,
Babe, you know that I do
But I just couldn't do it
The "right" way for you...

I know you won't cry or beg me to stay
I understand, that's just not your way
I wish I had been good enough
Guess I just wasn't made, with all the right stuff

I gave you, all the very best of me
I gave myself to you, completely
I can no longer fight, this internal war
Babe, I don't wanna cry anymore

I never wanted to leave
And for you, I'll always grieve
Now, I stand alone at the door
I don't think I'm gonna love you, anymore


1/22/05~

My life is demanding
There is no understanding
The kind of woman I am
I do things that you don't understand
I feel what you can't see
But there are times when you should
Take a little time to
Look into my eye's, if you would
Look into my heart
Then you would know
My love for you is
As pure as the new-fallen snow
Under so many starlit skies
Every day of my life
I wondered who you were
And where it was that you might be
But I always believed that God
Would send you to me
Don't hold back now
Don't let this love pass
It could be our
Very last chance
You gotta trust someone
Let it be me
Just let me love you
I won't let you down
Take my hand now
My love is deep but you won't drown
Come baby, come along with me
I have wonderful things for you to see
Will everything turn out just fine?
Or am I just wasting my time?

5/16/05~

Late in the evening around eleven
I do believe that I'm in heaven
With you by my side
Naturally perfect, don't even gotta try

Somebodys dreaming
She thinks she's awake
You're nowhere near her,
But what a nice dream it makes
Somebodys dreaming
Dancing on moonbeams
Fountains of love dreams
Perfect Heaven, or so it seems

Passionate kiss, tender touch
Loving arms, we love each other so very much
We are one, divine perfection
Loving with so much affection

But she's asleep and she she sleeps alone
Let her not awaken, for dreams are all she's known
You love her and she's the only one
She prays for love to carry over, with the morning sun
The weeks passed to months, months to years
By now, she's already cried an ocean of tears

When somebodys dreaming
Dreaming she's awake
Giving all her love to the one who is fake
Receiving all your love, without having to plead
Every morning, to life she must concede
It's what gets her through
Till the next time, she's summoned by you...


6/10/05

I dont know what
to do about you
But I don't know what,
I'd ever do without you
You're driving me away from you
But I'm the one who will come
speeding back to you
You will never find....
another heart like mine
Look into my heart and you will see
Baby, you mean the world to me
I really don't know what to do
But, I'm never givin up on you.
Babe, I Love You.

Unspoken Things and another one

I can't face the day
Without you in the night
I can't stand the darkness
Without your smile to make it bright

I don't like cooking
Cuz it won't be for you
As for loving...
No other man will do

I am thirsty
I need your loving words to survive
I am hungry
I need you to fill me up inside...

I need to hold you,
Touch and take care of you
I wanna be the one
From whose love, you will never run

All of these things
I can't say in person
But all of these things
Are coming from my heart

Maybe this will
Come as an unwanted surprise
And i can't witness your reaction
Cause it will probably burn my eye's


So i wrote it here for you while i go hide
Take it or leave it
But don't leave me hangin
Not knowing how you really feel is what tears me all up inside....

Yeah, so we dated for 3 1/2 years before I moved in with him and then I was there for 1 1/2 years. I found out during that time that he was a sex addicted, narcisstic, sociopath. I never used to show my stuff to anyone but now that my days are "numbered" I guess I just don't care anymore. Thanks for reading 'em!