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At One Point Do You Consider Someone a Friend?
Emails only 1 (16.7%)
Chatroom 0 (0%)
Members of same forum(s) 1 (16.7%)
Instant (or Private) Messaging 0 (0%)
Phone conversations 2 (33.3%)
Met in person at neutral location once 1 (16.7%)
Met in person at neutral location multiple times 1 (16.7%)
Visited person's home once 0 (0%)
Visited person's home multiple times 0 (0%)
Person has been in your home once 0 (0%)
Person has been in your home multiple times 0 (0%)
Total Votes: 6
Levels of Friendship; What Level of Friendship Is Sufficient?
Topic Started: Jan 19 2009, 11:26 PM (885 Views)
Deleted User
Deleted User

There are many different levels of friendship and everyone defines it differently. Let's see how the members of this forum define friendship based on some arbitrary criteria. Assume that this poll is referring to someone that you really like and that you have known for about one year. The first choice in the poll that is sufficient enough contact for you to call that person a 'friend' is the box that you would mark. Boxes that come afterwards assume contact through some or all of the boxes listed previously.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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What do you want from me? If the answer is nothing and you still want to know me, then I'll gladly call you my friend.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Thanks Andy, but actually this is just a poll to supplement SuperBet's thread on friendship. I do a lot of social experiments just because I am curious. Actually, I do feel as though you are my friend, but I haven't decided which box to check yet.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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I don't think that, however this poll has originated, it is valid. None of those things qualify as criteria as levels of friendship for me.

However, I think that maybe it has for some other people and that's where I've been going wrong. Or right.

...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Deleted User
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Could you please give me some additional criteria that you use to determine friendship? I was really just concentrating on methods of communication. I don't feel as though people I meet in chat rooms using anonymous names are actually my friends, but once I see them post on a forum and see their picture and learn more about them I begin to feel as though a certain level of friendship has developed. Emails, IMs and PMs all add to the level of trust I have for a person, but a new level is achieved, for me, after the first phone call. If I have talked to someone on the phone many times over the course of a year, I truly begin to call them my friend. I think meeting them is the icing on the cake and the confirmation of 'real' (I also hate that word) friendship. What do you think?
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There's no levels of friendship for me. A friend is a friend, a person who have things in common with me, a person who shares things with me, a person who feels comfortable to talk about his personal problems, everything spontaneously. When these things don't happen, when there's no chemistry, there's no friendship. Friendship is just like the phrease I love you. I don't call anyone a friend the same way I don't say I love you without feeling it.

:peace:
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JeffLynnesBeard
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What do I think? I think that people who you consider to be your friends are your friends. I think you know by the connection you make with them, but how much you hit it off, by how much they're there for you when you're sad, lonely or at your worst... that's how you know who your friends are.

Friends aren't people who will give you support when you're being an asshole. They're the ones who will tell you when you're being an asshole. It doesn't matter whether all you've seen of them are some letters on a screen or whether you've shared a beer with them and have seen the wrinkles around their eyes when they smile - you know when you've found a friend.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Quote:
 
you know when you've found a friend.


So intense and true.

Some people try to be our friend and we don't feel the connection with them. It's strange.
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Love Sculpture
Jan 19 2009, 11:52 PM
There's no levels of friendship for me. A friend is a friend, a person who have things in common with me, a person who shares things with me, a person who feels comfortable to talk about his personal problems, everything spontaneously. When these things don't happen, when there's no chemistry, there's no friendship. Friendship is just like the phrase I love you. I don't call anyone a friend the same way I don't say I love you without feeling it. :peace:
So, if you met someone in a chat room and you did not know their name, where they lived or anything else about them for certain other than what they told you, would you consider that person to be a friend if you felt comfortable around them and had things in common? What if later you found out that everything that person told you was untrue? Would they no longer be a friend or would they have never been a friend in the first place? I think a certain level of trust and certainty are required in order to establish a friendship.
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LapisLee
Jan 19 2009, 11:59 PM
Love Sculpture
Jan 19 2009, 11:52 PM
There's no levels of friendship for me. A friend is a friend, a person who have things in common with me, a person who shares things with me, a person who feels comfortable to talk about his personal problems, everything spontaneously. When these things don't happen, when there's no chemistry, there's no friendship. Friendship is just like the phrase I love you. I don't call anyone a friend the same way I don't say I love you without feeling it.

:peace:
So, if you met someone in a chat room and you did not know their name, where they lived or anything else about them for certain other than what they told you, would you consider that person to be a friend if you felt comfortable around them and had things in common? What if later you found out that everything that person told you was untrue? Would they no longer be a friend or would they have never been a friend in the first place? I think a certain level of trust and certainty are required in order to establish a friendship.
No Lapis, I won't call a friend a person I met in a chatroom.
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 19 2009, 11:53 PM
What do I think? I think that people who you consider to be your friends are your friends. I think you know by the connection you make with them, but how much you hit it off, by how much they're there for you when you're sad, lonely or at your worst... that's how you know who your friends are.

Friends aren't people who will give you support when you're being an assh*le. They're the ones who will tell you when you're being an assh*le. It doesn't matter whether all you've seen of them are some letters on a screen or whether you've shared a beer with them and have seen the wrinkles around their eyes when they smile - you know when you've found a friend.
Was Lissa aka mozart8mytoe your friend? I am just asking for the purposes of this exercise. I know nothing about your relationship with her other than what has been posted recently about her mysterious death.
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Love Sculpture
Jan 20 2009, 12:01 AM
LapisLee
Jan 19 2009, 11:59 PM
Love Sculpture
Jan 19 2009, 11:52 PM
There's no levels of friendship for me. A friend is a friend, a person who have things in common with me, a person who shares things with me, a person who feels comfortable to talk about his personal problems, everything spontaneously. When these things don't happen, when there's no chemistry, there's no friendship. Friendship is just like the phrase I love you. I don't call anyone a friend the same way I don't say I love you without feeling it. :peace:
So, if you met someone in a chat room and you did not know their name, where they lived or anything else about them for certain other than what they told you, would you consider that person to be a friend if you felt comfortable around them and had things in common? What if later you found out that everything that person told you was untrue? Would they no longer be a friend or would they have never been a friend in the first place? I think a certain level of trust and certainty are required in order to establish a friendship.
No Lapis, I won't call a friend a person I met in a chatroom.
What if you met them in a chat room, but then began to exchange emails and you learned more and more about them. Would that person ever be your friend, even if you had no idea if what they were telling you was true?
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JeffLynnesBeard
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No, she never was. In fact, at the time, that was one of my big regrets, that I never got to know her and was able to call her my friend. I liked her and admired her, but she wasn't a friend, really.

I still think of her as if she was real - and she may have been. Who knows? Not me.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 20 2009, 12:03 AM
No, she never was. In fact, at the time, that was one of my big regrets, that I never got to know her and was able to call her my friend. I liked her and admired her, but she wasn't a friend, really.

I still think of her as if she was real - and she may have been. Who knows? Not me.
I think the entire Lissa aka mozart8mytoe controversy gets to the root of the difficulty of basing a friendship exclusively on internet contact, because it's too easy to be deceived, even over a period of time as long as a year or so. I think a phone conversation or actual meeting is necessary to establish a friendship in the strictest most meaningful sense of the word, although there are lots of people here and on Sean's forum that I have never met or spoken to by phone that I would consider my friends. It's a very grey area. Was anyone on this forum 'friends' with Lissa? I think that if they were then there would be no mystery.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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You make some excellent points, Lee.

I don't think she was anybody's 'friend' here, but many of us here profoundly affected when "she died".

Who knows what anybody felt, but I honestly thought that I was mourning someone I would have liked to have called a friend.

If mozart8mytoe, Rev. Dave, Adiliah & Mia Culpa are actually one person then they'd be an incredible member of the board if they were just being themselves. Who knows how many people they'd have as friends right now if they were just being themselves?
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Bill
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It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection.


Can you cry on their shoulder, either figuratively or literally?

Will they stay with you until they know you're okay?

Do you contact them - in any way - merely for the pleasure of their company?

Will they, as Andy said, dare to tell you when you're being an arsehole?

Can you embarrass yourself in front of them without judgement?

Can you disagree passionately without ever souring the friendship?

Are they there when you need them?

Are you there when they need you?

That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant. That was my point on the other thread. Perhaps we need a [rhetorical question] tag.
Put a puppet on it.
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So if you could do all of that with an anonymous person named toejam1982 in a chat room over a period of about a year without knowing their actual name, location or what they look like, they would qualify as your friend?
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Bill
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Lee, you're turning into a college w*nker again. If you can't understand what I said, then there's nothing I can do for you.

I say that as a friend. :P If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother.
Put a puppet on it.
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Bill
Jan 20 2009, 01:04 AM
Lee, you're turning into a college w*nker again. If you can't understand what I said, then there's nothing I can do for you.

I say that as a friend. :P If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother.
Sorry. I only mention it because, you know that chat room you go to occasionally? I just wanted you to know that I am actually RedHotLover58 and I will marry you! :wub:
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BeatleBarb
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I have lots of friendly acquaintances, but once there is a deeper level of connection, loyalty and/or intimacy, and something that develops over time, I would consider that a friendship regardless if we've actually met in the flesh. However, I prefer fleshy encounters. :)
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BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 01:35 AM
I have lots of friendly acquaintances, but once there is a deeper level of connection, loyalty and/or intimacy, and something that develops over time, I would consider that a friendship regardless if we've actually met in the flesh. However, I prefer fleshy encounters. :)
Can you develop a 'deeper level of connection, loyalty and/or intimacy' in a chat room or via email or Instant Messenger? I would grant that a forum, such as this is far more intimate than those modes of communication and, unlike Bill, I think that different modes of communication are more intimate than others. I nearly added webcam to the choices for this poll, but I felt that would be too salacious for this group. :o
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Jacaranda
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Well you know that webcam can be used for other than salacious purposes.

Surprise, surprise. :peace:
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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Bill
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LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 01:56 AM
unlike Bill, I think that different modes of communication are more intimate than others.
Leaving the gross oversimplification aside for a moment, it ain't what you've got, it's how you use it.

Believe me, I should know. ;)
Put a puppet on it.
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BeatleBarb
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There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
Edited by BeatleBarb, Jan 20 2009, 03:11 AM.
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I am just agreeing with MonkeyChow in the other thread when he said there are degrees of friendship and I am also adding that these degrees of friendship are dependant, to a certain extent, on the mode of communication. I guess you can have great anonymous friends in a chatroom or via email, but will they really be there when you get deathly ill or will they simply move on to one of their other online friends?

Did anyone here attend Lissa's funeral? I understand that people were greatly hurt by the news of her death, which would imply some form of friendship, but if you don't even know how she died, where she died or if she died, how great of a friend were you to her? Is there anyone on this forum, whom you have never met face-to-face, that you would make a special effort to attend their funeral or wedding?
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beatlechick
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In Paul's Arms!
Sometimes you do get that connection with online people, the same type of connection you'd get as if you met them face-to-face for the first time. On the old pm.com board, when it was Wingspan, Dotty, myself, and a couple of hours started an insane and crazy chat about Charmin. We went on for a couple of hours, long enough to get some of the Brits on early in their morning. I have never met Dotty face-to-face but did talk to her on the phone a couple of years later. Even though I have never completely met her, and the others that were on that crazy night, I care for her just as much as I do with friends that I have known since high school.

No matter where you make that connection, a friend is a friend. If I like you, we're friends. If I don't, than we're mere acquaintances who chat from time-to-time.
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I don't like morbid things so I would never attend to anyone's funeral or wedding.

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BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:10 AM
There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
I agree about the webcam, but how do you communicate with these friends? Just posting on forums or have you called or met them? I have a friend online that lives in Santiago, Chile that I have known since 2001 and we have never met, but we have sent emails, chatted on forums and in chat rooms, snail-mailed each other and spoken on the phone many times. Even though the odds of us meeting in person are remote, I still feel that it is a strong possibility and that it would take our friendship to a different higher level. I think it's completely natural to feel a closer bond to those who are physically present around you than to those that are only available electronically.
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BeatleBarb
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I agree there are degrees of friendships and different types of friendships. I have co-workers who I consider to be friends, I am friendly with the neighbors, etc. And within those relationships, some are closer than others. Not one friend fits all.

I did not consider Lissa to be my friend. In fact, I don't think we ever shared a pm. I'm not usually big on the pm feature anyway. There were very few comments directed at each other I was, however, very entertained by her and ultimately saddened by her death and the story of the daughter she was to adopt. I don't have to be personal friends with someone to be saddened by their misfortune and yes, there are people here that I would make the effort to attend their funeral or wedding. Of course, I would much prefer happier get togethers and because of this forum, have been fortunate to do just that.
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LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 03:24 AM
BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:10 AM
There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
I agree about the webcam, but how do you communicate with these friends? Just posting on forums or have you called or met them? I have a friend online that lives in Santiago, Chile that I have known since 2001 and we have never met, but we have sent emails, chatted on forums and in chat rooms, snail-mailed each other and spoken on the phone many times. Even though the odds of us meeting in person are remote, I still feel that it is a strong possibility and that it would take our friendship to a different higher level. I think it's completely natural to feel a closer bond to those who are physically present around you than to those that are only available electronically.
I have a friend from Santiago too and we "met" on myspace. He liked my songs and added me as a friend. We are so spontaneous, it's so beautiful our friendship. Our connection is so strong that we made some few songs together. His wife is adorable too and she understands our friendship and telepathy. We are like brother and sister. It's been 1 year since we started chatting and it feels like 20 years. I don't have this type of friendship with other online people I know more than 5 years.
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BeatleBarb
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LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 03:24 AM
BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:10 AM
There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
I agree about the webcam, but how do you communicate with these friends? Just posting on forums or have you called or met them? I have a friend online that lives in Santiago, Chile that I have known since 2001 and we have never met, but we have sent emails, chatted on forums and in chat rooms, snail-mailed each other and spoken on the phone many times. Even though the odds of us meeting in person are remote, I still feel that it is a strong possibility and that it would take our friendship to a different higher level. I think it's completely natural to feel a closer bond to those who are physically present around you than to those that are only available electronically.
Yes, meeting in the flesh would increase the connection for me. Then again...maybe it would lessen it, who knows for sure. But as I mentioned before, I prefer fleshy encounters. :hug:
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BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:33 AM
LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 03:24 AM
BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:10 AM
There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
I agree about the webcam, but how do you communicate with these friends? Just posting on forums or have you called or met them? I have a friend online that lives in Santiago, Chile that I have known since 2001 and we have never met, but we have sent emails, chatted on forums and in chat rooms, snail-mailed each other and spoken on the phone many times. Even though the odds of us meeting in person are remote, I still feel that it is a strong possibility and that it would take our friendship to a different higher level. I think it's completely natural to feel a closer bond to those who are physically present around you than to those that are only available electronically.
Yes, meeting in the flesh would increase the connection for me. Then again...maybe it would lessen it, who knows for sure. But as I mentioned before, I prefer fleshy encounters. :hug:
That is my point precisely: meeting people in person changes the relationship significantly and the friendship can either be greater, lesser or end completely.
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Love Sculpture
Jan 20 2009, 03:30 AM
LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 03:24 AM
BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:10 AM
There's just something creepy about a webcam - I envision the Unabomber hunched over a milkcrate in a smoke filled room.

But to answer your question Lee - I do have people I consider to be friends with that developed on-line. I'm not big on chat rooms or instant messenger. Again, the mode of communication is not as critical as the quality of the connection.
I agree about the webcam, but how do you communicate with these friends? Just posting on forums or have you called or met them? I have a friend online that lives in Santiago, Chile that I have known since 2001 and we have never met, but we have sent emails, chatted on forums and in chat rooms, snail-mailed each other and spoken on the phone many times. Even though the odds of us meeting in person are remote, I still feel that it is a strong possibility and that it would take our friendship to a different higher level. I think it's completely natural to feel a closer bond to those who are physically present around you than to those that are only available electronically.
I have a friend from Santiago too and we "met" on myspace. He liked my songs and added me as a friend. We are so spontaneous, it's so beautiful our friendship. Our connection is so strong that we made some few songs together. His wife is adorable too and she understands our friendship and telepathy. We are like brother and sister. It's been 1 year since we started chatting and it feels like 20 years. I don't have this type of friendship with other online people I know more than 5 years.
You do not have this type of friendship with other people online, but do you have friendships like that in person and how would your friendship change if you met your friend from Santiago in person? Would his wife still be as understanding?
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BeatleBarb
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Now go pour that glass of wine, slip into something more comfortable and meet me in front of the webcam and we'll see how it goes. B)
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BeatleBarb
Jan 20 2009, 03:40 AM
Now go pour that glass of wine, slip into something more comfortable and meet me in front of the webcam and we'll see how it goes. B)
I think that we are gong to be very good 'friends'. Bill, I am sorry to report that RedHotLover58 has called off the wedding. My condolences. :P
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Yes she would understand, she is not 15 years old.

I have friendships like that in person and online too.

I'm sure our friendship would change for better.




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Bill
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There are opportunities for deception everywhere. That hot chick you try to pick up at the bar might have been the champion quarterback in high school.

As for RedHotLover, I got what I wanted. Name, IP address, street address, credit card number and remote access to his/her computer. Seeya, suckers!
Put a puppet on it.
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ogoble
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JeffLynnesBeard
Jan 20 2009, 12:12 AM

I don't think she was anybody's 'friend' here, but many of us here profoundly affected when "she died".
I felt the same way when Paul died... :cry:
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I am now thinking that chatrooms are the lowest form of friendship and should have been listed before emails. Everyone in a chatroom is completely anonymous unless you get their IP address, which only gives you the location of their ISP.
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ogoble
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Bill
Jan 20 2009, 03:49 AM
There are opportunities for deception everywhere. That hot chick you try to pick up at the bar might have been the champion quarterback in high school.

As for RedHotLover, I got what I wanted. Name, IP address, street address, credit card number and remote access to his/her computer. Seeya, suckers!
Please share... ;)
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Bill
Jan 20 2009, 03:49 AM
There are opportunities for deception everywhere. That hot chick you try to pick up at the bar might have been the champion quarterback in high school.

As for RedHotLover, I got what I wanted. Name, IP address, street address, credit card number and remote access to his/her computer. Seeya, suckers!
Don't forget that I said 'Assume that this poll is referring to someone that you really like and that you have known for about one year. '
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Queenbee
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Bill
Jan 20 2009, 12:28 AM
It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection.


Can you cry on their shoulder, either figuratively or literally?

Will they stay with you until they know you're okay?

Do you contact them - in any way - merely for the pleasure of their company?

Will they, as Andy said, dare to tell you when you're being an arsehole?

Can you embarrass yourself in front of them without judgement?

Can you disagree passionately without ever souring the friendship?

Are they there when you need them?

Are you there when they need you?

That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant. That was my point on the other thread. Perhaps we need a [rhetorical question] tag.
Bill ~ Well said, I couldn't have said it better. True friendship doesn't judge you by how you look, the size of your home, or your bank book or what you can do for them.

My friends can see me at my worse, my house not in order, and I don't have to worry what their going to say when they leave. I'm not perfect and neither are they and none of us expects the other to be perfect. We all have good and bad days.
But we know we're there for each other and our relationship is based on trust and honesty. We don't even think about the little stuff, but based on everything Bill said so well. I know if I was having a crisis, my family and girlfriends would be there in a heart beat and I love that quality in them. I would do anything for them too. We don't wait to see if someone needs help, we all just react. I know I'm very fortunate for my family and friends. We don't take each other for granted and we know life is too short to waste on the trying to impress someone with BS.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 09:43 PM
Bill
Jan 20 2009, 12:28 AM
It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection.

Can you cry on their shoulder, either figuratively or literally?

Will they stay with you until they know you're okay?

Do you contact them - in any way - merely for the pleasure of their company?

Will they, as Andy said, dare to tell you when you're being an arsehole?

Can you embarrass yourself in front of them without judgement?

Can you disagree passionately without ever souring the friendship?

Are they there when you need them?

Are you there when they need you?

That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant. That was my point on the other thread. Perhaps we need a [rhetorical question] tag.
Bill ~ Well said, I couldn't have said it better. True friendship doesn't judge you by how you look, the size of your home, or your bank book or what you can do for them.

My friends can see me at my worse, my house not in order, and I don't have to worry what their going to say when they leave. I'm not perfect and neither are they and none of us expects the other to be perfect. We all have good and bad days.
But we know we're there for each other and our relationship is based on trust and honesty. We don't even think about the little stuff, but based on everything Bill said so well. I know if I was having a crisis, my family and girlfriends would be there in a heart beat and I love that quality in them. I would do anything for them too. We don't wait to see if someone needs help, we all just react. I know I'm very fortunate for my family and friends. We don't take each other for granted and we know life is too short to waste on the trying to impress someone with BS.
If they have seen your house then that is the highest level of friendship contact according to the choices I gave for the poll. Do you think that Bill's criteria for friendship could be established if you only knew the person from a chatroom, a forum or by email exchanges?
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Queenbee
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It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Kit_Kat
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Lennon's Mummy xx
I chose phone conversations, as I like to think i`d be at that "level" after a year
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This can be summed up in one word - organised crime
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Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Then you would be disagreeing with Bill because he says 'It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection. That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant.'
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Kit_Kat
Jan 20 2009, 10:22 PM
I chose phone conversations, as I like to think i`d be at that "level" after a year
I was really torn between phone conversations and meeting in person, but after I thought about it very carefully, I really believe the best friends, that you know the best and can trust the most, are the ones that you have actually met. There is something about seeing, hearing, feeling and smelling someone in person that tells you so much more than just a voice over the phone.
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Kit_Kat
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I can see what you are getting at LapisLee and I would probably feel the same but at the moment I can`t come over and meet you guys, as much as i`d like to!
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Bill
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LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 11:51 PM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Then you would be disagreeing with Bill because he says 'It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection. That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant.'
So what you're really saying is that everyone else is wrong about what they consider friendship to be?

I know you didn't say that. I know you didn't even come close. I just enjoy twisting people's words beyond recognition just for the sake of being argumentative. :P
Put a puppet on it.
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SuperBet
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IF v_count_days_not_posting_here GT 365. Write 'HELLO!!!'. ENDIF.
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Skype?

MSN Messenger and GTalk also allows you to talk with your contacts...
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Skype is very good. If both have it, it's free. I only use skype to call my mother.
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Queenbee
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LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 11:51 PM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Then you would be disagreeing with Bill because he says 'It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection. That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant.'
Do you know how it is when someone you were friends with a long time ago and you haven't spoken to in over 10 years. One day you pick up the phone and you pick up talking just as if you seen them or talked to them yesterday. It's the connection you make with a person.

I'm adding FOR ME actually meeting a person is the icing on the cake. I can eat the cake without the icing but with the icing it's even better.

This is my last comment on this subject because it can get picked apart.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Queenbee
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SuperBet
Jan 21 2009, 12:44 AM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Skype?

MSN Messenger and GTalk also allows you to talk with your contacts...
Thanks bet, I'll have to check it out.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Bill
Jan 21 2009, 12:11 AM
LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 11:51 PM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Then you would be disagreeing with Bill because he says 'It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection. That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant.'
So what you're really saying is that everyone else is wrong about what they consider friendship to be?

I know you didn't say that. I know you didn't even come close. I just enjoy twisting people's words beyond recognition just for the sake of being argumentative. :P
Actually, I was just quoting you verbatim, but if you stay in contact with your BFF using Morse Code over a telegraph and you feel this person is your most trusted friend, then who am I to disgree? :lol:

Edited to say: The first really hot girl that checks the box marked chatroom and says webcam is my new best friend... :whistle:
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Queenbee
Jan 21 2009, 01:04 AM
LapisLee
Jan 20 2009, 11:51 PM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
It would be a different level of friendship for me but you can still feel close to someone. Everything Bill said can be done without actually meeting the person. I do feel being able to put a face to their voice wouldn't hurt either.

I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Then you would be disagreeing with Bill because he says 'It's got nothing to do with how and where and how much you communicate, it's all to do with your connection. That's friendship. The method of contact is irrelevant.'
Do you know how it is when someone you were friends with a long time ago and you haven't spoken to in over 10 years. One day you pick up the phone and you pick up talking just as if you seen them or talked to them yesterday. It's the connection you make with a person.

I'm adding FOR ME actually meeting a person is the icing on the cake. I can eat the cake without the icing but with the icing it's even better.

This is my last comment on this subject because it can get picked apart.
We are in complete agreement. I think that you actually have to meet someone to really, truly call them a close trusted friend. I don't think it has to be at their home or yours, but it may have to be more than one time.
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Jacaranda
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Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
If you have a microphone Judy you can have a voice connection for free through the computer at Yahoo Messenger and "phone" someone for as long as you want. And that is excellent.

To communicate with the UK, Vonage offers long-distance service that includes free phone calls to Britain from the U.S. for $25/month, and that includes all of your national long-distance calls.
Edited by Jacaranda, Jan 21 2009, 01:20 AM.
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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Bill
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LapisLee
Jan 21 2009, 01:06 AM
Actually, I was just quoting you verbatim, but if you stay in contact with your BFF using Morse Code over a telegraph and you feel this person is your most trusted friend, then who am I to disgree? :lol:
I was actually referring to the way you twisted Judy's comment.
Put a puppet on it.
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Bill
Jan 21 2009, 01:43 AM
LapisLee
Jan 21 2009, 01:06 AM
Actually, I was just quoting you verbatim, but if you stay in contact with your BFF using Morse Code over a telegraph and you feel this person is your most trusted friend, then who am I to disgree? :lol:
I was actually referring to the way you twisted Judy's comment.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :duh:
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Aimee Wilbury
STOP CHANGING THIS ADMINS
for me, it more depends on "how often i communicate" then "how i communicate."
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Queenbee
Jan 21 2009, 01:06 AM
SuperBet
Jan 21 2009, 12:44 AM
Queenbee
Jan 20 2009, 10:08 PM
I need to find out how to phone over seas without breaking the bank book.
Skype?

MSN Messenger and GTalk also allows you to talk with your contacts...
Thanks bet, I'll have to check it out.
I just use a webcam with a headset and mic and talk over AIM, MSN messenger and Yahoo messenger. It's much better than using the phone and it's free. I talk with Santiago, the UK, Italy, Croatia, Brazil and within the US all of the time using that arrangement.
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Queenbee
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Thank you for the suggestions which I plan on trying one of these days. Watch out oversea members. :hug:

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Aimee Wilbury
Jan 21 2009, 08:03 PM
for me, it more depends on "how often i communicate" then "how i communicate."
same here Aimee.
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Oops! Accidentally bumped my own poll for the people who might have overlooked it... :innocent:
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mspeel 007
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Speaking of friendships.....how did it go with your "friend"??????
[AND IN THE END.....THE LOVE YOU TAKE...IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE
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BeatleBarb
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Good night, friends.

I'm tits up :P
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mspeel 007
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BeatleBarb
Jan 23 2009, 06:31 AM
Good night, friends.

I'm tits up :P
I'm about to follow......Hope I can sleep!!!!! :wacko:
[AND IN THE END.....THE LOVE YOU TAKE...IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE
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mspeel 007
Jan 23 2009, 06:30 AM
Speaking of friendships.....how did it go with your "friend"??????
She arrives in 12 hours, but I have to buy tickets to the Grateful Dead at 10am tomorrow so I am crashing soon also.
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mspeel 007
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Have a GREAT time!!!! :yes:
[AND IN THE END.....THE LOVE YOU TAKE...IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE
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mspeel 007
Jan 23 2009, 06:35 AM
Have a GREAT time!!!! :yes:
Thanks! I will chronicle everything here. We have some really great plans for this weekend. I am over and out. -_-
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