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Learning Languages; why is it so frustrating?
Topic Started: Jan 18 2009, 02:20 PM (246 Views)
~LovelyRita~

Hey all, I got to Switzerland (Geneva) about a week ago and I'll be here until May. I opted to take the homestay option instead of living with other American students in the dorms at my school. I've been taking french all through high school and college, and I hoped to reach a much higher level of fluency while staying here. However, this first week has been beyond frustrating. I thought my french was decent enough to understand what people are saying for the most part and be able to respond in most cases. However, having discussions with my host family is incredibly frustrating; I have a horrible time understanding them and I have found that I can't say nearly what I want to. I realize that I've only been here a week, but I feel like I'm never gonna improve!

I'm curious to see if others here have had similar experiences and what you've done to feel more comfortable with foreign languages. I know this is silly, but I'm at the point where I avoid the family cause I find speaking French so stressful. It's so much easier to do in classes where the teacher speaks all nice and slow....

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Bill
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Is this the first time you've used your French in a real world situation?

If so, that might be the explanation. In classes, people tend to e-nun-ci-ate very carefully whereas people who are completely fluent tend to relax and stringtheirwordstogether a bit more.

You'll get used to each other soon enough, I'm sure. :)
Put a puppet on it.
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~LovelyRita~

Yes, this is my first out of class experience. I guess I shouldn't have expected to be able to jump right into it no problems, but it's been much more frustrating than I thought it would be.
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~LovelyRita~
Jan 18 2009, 02:20 PM
Hey all, I got to Switzerland (Geneva) about a week ago and I'll be here until May. I opted to take the homestay option instead of living with other American students in the dorms at my school. I've been taking french all through high school and college, and I hoped to reach a much higher level of fluency while staying here. However, this first week has been beyond frustrating. I thought my french was decent enough to understand what people are saying for the most part and be able to respond in most cases. However, having discussions with my host family is incredibly frustrating; I have a horrible time understanding them and I have found that I can't say nearly what I want to. I realize that I've only been here a week, but I feel like I'm never gonna improve!

I'm curious to see if others here have had similar experiences and what you've done to feel more comfortable with foreign languages. I know this is silly, but I'm at the point where I avoid the family cause I find speaking French so stressful. It's so much easier to do in classes where the teacher speaks all nice and slow....

My mother lived there. She didn't speak any French when she went there. In the begining she said it was hard because if you go to stores and don't speak a little bit of French people ignore you. She was lucky to be near some Portuguese people and she learned French naturally.

It's hard to express ideas in another language, you feel like you are not yourself, you feel stupid and ignorant but if you want to learn you have to deal with that. For a person who's first language is English, Latin languages aren't easy to be learned. Don't give up, I think speaking more than 1 language is very important if you want to understand the world the way it is.

You shouldn't feel so stressed. You will never be fluent in a language in 1 week. I'm here in US almost 2 years and my English didn't improve. :wacko:
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fab4fan
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Exactly what Bill and Michelle said!

If it makes you feel any better: My first language was Greek, I went to Greek school for 6 years and when I was able to visit Greece I experienced the same things you are going through.

Plow into interaction with the family. Enjoy your once in a lifetime experience.

I look forward to your future comments about the differences in cultures, you'll have plenty.

Will you be able to take sidetrips to any other countries? I know of a really neat one a little south of you.
Mnisthiti mou Kurie!
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A day in the life
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Yeah, I agree with what's been said.

I think the way to go is just to keep trying and keep asking people to repeat/ speak slower to try and at least get a gist of what they're saying. I'm sure they'd do the same if they were in your shoes.

I should listen to my advice really. I'm of Italian descent (but raised speaking English/German), so find myself resorting to speaking English when I visit the place and can't think how to explain certain things. You kind of don't want to look too silly.

Languages in the real world can be difficult, no matter how much you've studied before. Good luck hope things get better.

We all wanna change the world.
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manon
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I understand it is not easy. I use to write and read in english here. I went to London alone last summer for a month and it wasn't always easy. Often I guessed what people said to me and I restrained myself of speaking because I didn't knew how to say things sometime. Much more easy in front a computer ! But I have to admit that after the first week it was easier and after a month I was enough comfortable. But I am still not bilingual.
Bonne chance !! :)
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A day in the life
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That takes times. I bet if you'd go back for a fair while, it'd get easier and you'd pick up new things all the time.

I speak several languages mainly because my family moved a lot when I was a kid. Somehow you just kinda pick them up when you speak them everyday for a while. It was the same for several of my cousins, in some cases very young.
Edited by A day in the life, Jan 18 2009, 05:01 PM.
We all wanna change the world.
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kink
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on again, off again
I agree with everyone :P You'll be alright, Grace, you'll pick it up sooner or later. It's always more difficult outside the classroom, but don't give up! Tell your host family of your problem, I'm sure they'll understand and try to speak slower.

My mother's greek and my dad's russian, so I grew up bilingual. However, I've spent most of my life in Greece, and I don't live with my dad, so now every time I try to speak Russian I sound like a complete retard. If I went to Russia, I'm sure I would improve greatly with time.

Good luck! And may I just say how jealous I am of you being in Switzerland!
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BeatleBarb
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It's tough Grace, but don't give up on your experience. Your host family will understand. I hosted a German student a few years ago and it was great, even though he was somewhat odd! Don't be so hard on yourself, learning a language takes so much time for most of us. I know when I was learning Spanish, I asked my Spanish speaking friends to never speak English to me. It helped me a lot, but of course it gave them all a great laugh. Because I almost never use what I learned, I have lost most of my Spanish speaking ability.

Good luck and have a great time!
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~LovelyRita~

Thanks for the comments guys, it makes me feel a little less like an idiot. :) I did manage to have a decent conversation at dinner with my family about soccer, which made me feel a little better.

I will definitely be visiting other countries when I have time, though I am taking classes and doing an internship at the same time. It's a little overwhelming, but it'll be awesome too.

And as for cultural differences, the first big one is nothing being open on Sunday! I couldn't find food anywhere, thank goodness my host family fed me today!

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ThirdHarmony
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I agree fully with all of the comments above and also keep in mind that people will understand that you are making an effort and will often be much more patient and understanding than it might sometimes feel when you are trying to keep up with them in conversation.

I took French throughout school and high school and I used to spend most summers in France growing up, and despite that I found it very difficult when I first went to stay there on my own and had to cope with everyday conversation - but sure enough it got better and better. I tried to let people know I was new to the language and that was often helpful. You're doing exactly the right thing to improve your spoken language skills simply by getting into it. You'll be glad you did! :yes:

And don't be discouraged if you sometimes have a "bad language day" - it happens. Sometimes I've found that the french-speaking part of my brain can get locked up even though it was fine the day before. I once got a new dorm neighbour in college, an exchange student, and when she introduced herself in French I could barely get any words out at all! (though it may also have had to do with the fact that she was very pretty)
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BeatleBarb
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My Spanish language teacher insisted that everyday we got in front of the class and spoke in Spanish, telling of our morning before we came to class. I remember one day, proudly rambling on about all the things I did before class. The teacher burst out laughing as I calmly reported to her and my classmates that I ate all of my children, my cats, my dog, and my 22 rabbits - all before 9:00 a.m. Of course, I meant to say I "fed" them.
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FamousGroupie
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Sorry. Wrong thread. :blush:
Edited by FamousGroupie, Jan 18 2009, 10:36 PM.
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DCBeatle64
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I didn't think my French at school was to bad until I had to go to France and look all confused.Even if you learn it its still not that easy, but its a lot easier when you are there and have to speak it. Good luck
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