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| Man shags picnic table; Where do these people come from? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 11 2008, 06:58 PM (448 Views) | |
| scottycatt | Jul 11 2008, 06:58 PM Post #1 |
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Nude man charged with having sex with table Monday, March 31, 2008 Art Price Jr: alleged table-sexer A married father of three faces indecency charges after allegedly having sex with a picnic table. Art Price Jr, 40, was seen doing the dirty with the garden furniture at his home in Bellevue, Ohio, on four occasions by a neighbour. The neighbour, who hasn't been named, says that he saw Mr Price turning the table over before performing the sex acts on it. Police officer Matt Johnson said: 'He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.' Just to add a touch of class to his furniture-copulation, Price reportedly carried out his naked table-boffing in broad daylight, very close to a local school. The fourth time, the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence. Officer Johnson commented: 'Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around.' |
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Why? | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 11 2008, 07:03 PM Post #2 |
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Update to story Art Price Jr: may or may not have done it with a table Charges have been dropped against the man who was accused of repeatedly having sex with a picnic table while naked in broad daylight – but he may yet face prosecution over the alleged table-sexing. Federal indecency charges had been filed against Art Price Jr – but they have now been dismissed, after the prosecutor decided that the evidence didn't support felony charges. However, Russell Leffler, the prosecutor in Huron County, Ohio, said that his office would re-examine the case to see if other charges could be filed. Price was reported to have engaged in sexual congress with the garden furniture on four occasions at his house in Bellevue, OH - the last of which was video-taped as evidence by neighbour. Price reportedly used the hole into which the table's umbrella would normally slot to achieve his goals with the table. I love this author's way with words. "Table-sexing"? Will this be added to the dictionary next year? My favorite part of the article is the bit about using the table's umbrella hole to "achieve his goals with the table." |
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Why? | |
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| Dorfliedot | Jul 11 2008, 08:05 PM Post #3 |
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Beatlelicious
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The umbella hole had the golden showers benefits..
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| Mark Stephen Baker | Jul 11 2008, 08:44 PM Post #4 |
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Administrator & Moderator
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I blame his wife, she did tell him to lay the table. |
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| theonlyfab4fan | Jul 12 2008, 12:28 AM Post #5 |
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
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Egads!
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You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' ! I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN | |
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| mspeel 007 | Jul 12 2008, 12:36 AM Post #6 |
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I've been wondering what my ex-husband has been up to!!!! :hmm: |
| [AND IN THE END.....THE LOVE YOU TAKE...IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE | |
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| theonlyfab4fan | Jul 12 2008, 12:37 AM Post #7 |
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
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All I can think is that either his table has a really large umbrella or he has a really tiny hoohoo. |
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You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' ! I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN | |
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| mspeel 007 | Jul 12 2008, 12:38 AM Post #8 |
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By jove, that IS my ex!!!!!!
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| [AND IN THE END.....THE LOVE YOU TAKE...IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 12:46 AM Post #9 |
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Then thank God he's your EX!!!
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Why? | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 12:47 AM Post #10 |
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I keep wondering if it was a wooden picnic table. I'm thinking a splinter could put him out of business!
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Why? | |
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| theonlyfab4fan | Jul 12 2008, 12:57 AM Post #11 |
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
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![]() I was thinking same thing ! |
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You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' ! I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN | |
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| Queenbee | Jul 12 2008, 01:00 AM Post #12 |
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Moderator
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You mean *Four Sisters on Thumb Street* weren't good enough that a picnic table umbrella is better? Some people have really bad sex habits!!!
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PEACE and love to my friends, Judy When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace. -Sri Chinmnoy Ghose Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind. | |
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| bluemeanie | Jul 12 2008, 01:03 AM Post #13 |
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is now a happily married woman x
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we call it pam and her 4 sisters over here lol
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Jayne x is loving life and is so happy xxx | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 01:05 AM Post #14 |
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Hey Judy, you must not have heard about the guy who used to dip his wick in fish food and then stick in his aquarium. Or the guy who used to use his Hoover hose on his own hose.
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Why? | |
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| theonlyfab4fan | Jul 12 2008, 01:06 AM Post #15 |
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
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Do tell us more Bev! I always heard it called, having a date with Rosey Palm.
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You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' ! I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 01:09 AM Post #16 |
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I can see where this thread is headed. Olen, where are you? Time for you to weigh in! Johnson. Paging Mr. Johnson . . . . . |
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Why? | |
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| Queenbee | Jul 12 2008, 01:17 AM Post #17 |
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Moderator
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There are soooooooo many ways of saying this. Here is the web site. http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/masturbation-male |
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PEACE and love to my friends, Judy When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace. -Sri Chinmnoy Ghose Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind. | |
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| BeatleBarb | Jul 12 2008, 02:28 AM Post #18 |
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Have you seen just how sexy lawn and patio furniture can be those days...can't blame the man. Nothing like some plastic and a gawdy floral pattern to turn a person on! |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 02:30 AM Post #19 |
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Oh, so that's why all those men are at Home Depot.
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Why? | |
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| BeatleBarb | Jul 12 2008, 02:34 AM Post #20 |
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Hell yeah, throw a weed wacker in the mix and it's quite the partay!!! |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 02:39 AM Post #21 |
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I know a big weed that I'd like to whack!
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Why? | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 04:25 AM Post #22 |
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I say it's time to get to the meat of the matter here. Now, without further ado, I present to you the world's biggest wiener ![]() |
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Why? | |
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| BeatleBarb | Jul 12 2008, 04:27 AM Post #23 |
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A bright orange weiner - my favorite! |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 04:30 AM Post #24 |
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And now it's even beefier & juicier! ![]() |
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Why? | |
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| Mia Culpa | Jul 12 2008, 07:34 AM Post #25 |
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This space intentionally left blank.
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If you have to think long and hard about what charges to file, was a crime really committed? |
| If you read my posts backward there's evidence that Paul is dead. | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 07:57 AM Post #26 |
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Who cares, as long as it's long and hard.
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Why? | |
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| Deleted User | Jul 12 2008, 09:31 AM Post #27 |
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Deleted User
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Other than being nude in public what was the real crime here? Was the table underage? Did the table say no? Was it drunk, stoned, or dead? It is a freakin table! The crime is masturbation in public, thats all. And when I think about it the real crime was the peeping tom neighbor who videotaped it. However it does make one thing crystal clear, use a table cloth you don't know who are what that table has been with. Safe eating this summer people. |
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| Bill | Jul 12 2008, 11:05 AM Post #28 |
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No-one's used the woody joke yet.
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| Put a puppet on it. | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 05:00 PM Post #29 |
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OK, I'll bite . . . .
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Why? | |
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| scottycatt | Jul 12 2008, 05:03 PM Post #30 |
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No more picnics for me! ^o) :X
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Why? | |
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8:34 AM Jul 11