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The Darwin Awards
Topic Started: Jan 2 2008, 05:44 AM (331 Views)
JeffLynnesBeard
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The Darwin Awards were named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution. They commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. You can visit the site & vote for your favourite idiotic death - and even a kind-hearted soul such as myself finds it very difficult to feel sorry for some of these people! ^_^

Here are a few samples;


The Enema Within

2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin


(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.


Support Group

2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

"Gravity still works."


(28 July 2007, Czech Republic) A pack of thieves attempted to steal scrap metal from an abandoned factory in Kladno. Unfortunately for them, they selected the steel girders that supported the factory roof. When the roof supports were dismantled, the roof fell, fatally crushing two thieves and injuring three others.

(21 June 2007, Philippines) Three entrepreneurs planned to profit from stolen scrap metal. They entered a former US military complex and approached the prize: an abandoned water tank. Bedazzled by the potential upside, the three threw logic to the wind, and began to cut the metal legs out from under the tank. Guess where it fell? Straight onto the thieves. Their flattened bodies have not yet been identified.

(31 July 1997) Two teens were disassembling an electric tower with wrenches when it toppled to the ground. They apparently wanted to sell its aluminum supports for scrap, but they failed to realize the essential role the aptly named "support" plays in a 160-foot tower. One of the men was crushed by the collapse of the ten-thousand-pound tower, while the other dug himself out from under, a sadder but wiser man from his close brush with a Darwin Award. Reference: Associated Press


The Laptop Still Works!

2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin


(26 February 2007, California) 29-year-old Oscar was driving on Highway 99 near Yuba City, when his Honda Accord crossed into oncoming traffic and collided with a Hummer. The occupants of the Hummer were not seriously injured. California Highway Patrol officers found Oscar's laptop still running, and plugged into the car's cigarette lighter. Investigators believe that he was using it when his car crossed the center line.

"Driving is not a time to be practicing your multitasking skills," remarked CHP spokesman Tom Marshall.

Oscar is not alone. Last year, 510 California drivers were charged with reckless driving because they were using a TV, video, or computer monitor. A 2001 CHP study cites cell phone use as the top cause of crashes involving distracted drivers, followed by fiddling with music. "Anything that distracts you can kill you, whether it's eating lunch or working on a computer," an AAA spokesman said.

Oscar was a computer tutor. Hopefully his fatal lesson will teach others to surf on the information superhighway, not the asphalt superhighway.

---

There's plenty more on the Official Darwin Awards Website. If you come across any more that you really enjoy, feel free to post them here & share them with us all. ^_^
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Aimee Wilbury
STOP CHANGING THIS ADMINS
Always funny.
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kink
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on again, off again
Awesome :lol: As a wise man once said, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

I can't access the site right now, there must be a problem of some sort, but I can't wait to read more of these.
Strawberry Fields: We put the FUN in dysfunctional.
-BeatleBarb, 2007
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Samwise
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Ah, the Darwin Awards... I was just thinking about those recently, and how I used to love them so much, and how I haven't picked up the last few books in the series. That really should be remedied - after all, that wise man Olia mentions was near enough spot-on. :D
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My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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Bill
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kink
Jan 3 2008, 02:41 AM
Awesome :lol: As a wise man once said, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

I can't access the site right now, there must be a problem of some sort, but I can't wait to read more of these.

It was Einstein. B)
Put a puppet on it.
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kink
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on again, off again
I know :P
Strawberry Fields: We put the FUN in dysfunctional.
-BeatleBarb, 2007
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FamousGroupie
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
The guy who teased the tiger at San Francisco Zoo last year should be a shoe-in.
I don't believe in Bondi. I don't believe in rugby league. I believe in Yoko, John Lennon, the Lost Weekend and me.
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BeatleBarb
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Darwin Awards - Strawberry Fields Awards. :P
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SherryO
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FamousGroupie
Jan 3 2008, 03:46 AM
The guy who teased the tiger at San Francisco Zoo last year should be a shoe-in.

You've got that right!!Poor kitty!
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Blondie10
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I think I will need therapy and counseling after reading the Enema Within!!! :o :o :o

WTF????? :hyper: :hyper: :wacko: :wacko:
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. -- Douglas Adams <a href='http://eapr-1/@' target='_blank'></a>
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