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| The Most Depressing Songs You'll Ever Hear; Songs to top yourself by | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 17 2007, 02:42 AM (1,792 Views) | |
| FamousGroupie | Oct 17 2007, 02:42 AM Post #1 |
Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
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Yet another gem offering, this time from Q Magazine. In much the same vein as the 101 Greatest Beatles Songs thread, all comments are welcome. |
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Youth truth beauty fame boredom and a bottle of pills | |
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| FamousGroupie | Oct 17 2007, 02:55 AM Post #2 |
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
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There are ten different genres of depressing songs: I Was A Teenage Car Crash collects songs about selfless (and shockingly stupid) adolescents who sacrifice themselves so they can die for someone whose school locker just happens to be next to theirs. I Hate Myself And Want To Die gathers together self-pitying songs in which the singer is under the delusion that his or her personal problems are of great interest to everyone. Pretentious songs where excessive blather is mistaken for wisdom and sensitivity are found in the category I'm Trying To Be Profound And Touching, But Really Suck At It. If I Sing About Drugs, People Will Take me Seriously: 'I'm jamming a needle into my arm! Lemme tell you allllll about it!' In She Hates Me, I Hate Her, a couple's crumbling relationship is put to music,then dumped on listeners, who are expected to act as unpaid therapists. For Horrifying Remakes Of Already Depressing Songs, a singer takes a mildly gloomy tune and transforms it into a thing of utter horror. Think Mary Shelley's Frankenstein with a rhythm section. Narrative songs based on the kind of babble you hear from the drunk guy next to you who won't shut up are collected under the banner I'm Telling A Story Nobody Wants To Hear. I Had No Idea That Song Was So Morbid: the most deceptive of depressing songs, these camouflage unbelievably depressing lyrics under upbeat happy music. A depressing song Hall of Fame, I Mope, Therefore I Am collects songs by artists who've built their entire careers on bumming the sh*t out of everyone. Finally, Perfect Storms: the absolute most depressing. Only a handful of tunes qualify as perfect storms, where numerous factors unite to create a depressing song of Live Wolverine Shoved Down My Pants proportions. |
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Youth truth beauty fame boredom and a bottle of pills | |
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| Hey Jude | Oct 17 2007, 08:11 AM Post #3 |
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Sounds interesting, Clare - I expect to see plenty of my favourite artists & songs in there! :P |
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| Bill | Oct 17 2007, 09:36 AM Post #4 |
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Well, not exactly upbeat tunes but I still nominate The One I Love by REM and One by U2 - both inexplicably used at weddings. |
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| Merry | Oct 17 2007, 04:49 PM Post #5 |
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Seasons In The Sun by Terry Jacks is a real downer! |
 G, I love you. | |
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| Mark Stephen Baker | Oct 17 2007, 05:14 PM Post #6 |
He likes cheese
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Isn't there a song by Billie Holiday that is offically the most depessing song ever? Sunday something or something Sunday? |
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| FamousGroupie | Oct 17 2007, 08:22 PM Post #7 |
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
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I WAS A TEENAGE CAR CRASH Tell Laura I Love Her Released 1960 Stories of teenagers prematurely shuffling off their mortal coils have been around since Romeo And Juliet and the rise of American car culture during the 1950s and early 1960s inspired the dispiriting Teenage Car Crash songs. These involve a young couple who are madly in love until one of them perishes in a fiery car wreck, leaving the other alone to grieve. These are noble fatalities, mind you, none of them ever involving booze, drugs or carjacking. The young protagonists of TCC songs die because of selfless love and a preternatural lack of brains. Tell Laura I Love Her was the first major TCC song - a weepy ballad about a love-struck teenage boy named Tommy who ends up getting cremated on a race track for the love of his girlfriend Laura. Tommy is especially gaga about his Laura and wants to buy her an engagement ring but, alas, doesn't have the money. That's when he sees a poster advertising a stock car race with a first prize of $1000. That's the ticket, Tommy tells himself. I'll enter the race, compete in a sport I know nothing about, and come in first so that I'll win the thousand dollars. Ah, good plan. Flushed with excitement, Tommy hurriedly calls Laura. She isn't home so the doomed lad leaves a message with her mother: 'Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her, tell Laura I may be late, I've something to do that cannot wait.' Tommy is completely clueless as to the basic strategies of auto racing ie, slamming into a wall is generally not a good idea. Within a few laps, he rolls the car, which becomes engulfed in flames. He is pulled out of the wreckage, coughing up carbon before proclaiming his love for Laura and uttering with his last breath: 'Tell Laura not to cry, my love for her will never die...' By the last verse, Laura is alone in the church, praying for her Tommy. In the chapel's echo-filled acoustics, she can still hear his haunting cries of how he still loves her - and it's just as creepy as it sounds. Why It's Depressing Like all TCC songs, Tell Laura is a relic from a time long vanished. Today's teenagers eat it in car wrecks while reaching for their cell phones or going off a cliff leaving an all-night rave. As for $1000, it's going towards a laptop or a surround sound stereo system. In retrospect, the song is more about futility than sacrifice. True, Tommy dies for his Laura but let's face it, if he had survived and won the race, he'd be unbearable. Tommy getting scorched on the track saved Laura from a future with a reckless idiot who thinks every one of his harebrained ideas is a sure-fire winner. Nine years into their doomed marriage, Laura, seven months pregnant with their third child, would be rolling her eyes at Tommy, bankrupt from his third failed business venture, stands in the backyard by the barbecue regaling the neighbours with the story of his race track victory for the 143rd time. Later, during the trial separation, Tommy would be sulking at the local downing Pabst Blue Ribbon while whining to the bartender, 'Can you believe she threw me out? I won a stock car race for her. Hey, did I ever tell you that story? See, what happened was, I saw this sign....' Good riddance. Watch The Video |
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Youth truth beauty fame boredom and a bottle of pills | |
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| Nick2006 | Oct 21 2007, 08:35 AM Post #8 |
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anything by an emo band |
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| FamousGroupie | Oct 22 2007, 08:04 PM Post #9 |
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
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Hmmm, I'm thinking this thread isn't as interesting..... |
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Youth truth beauty fame boredom and a bottle of pills | |
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| kink | Oct 23 2007, 07:01 AM Post #10 |
on again, off again
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Although I believe Q is the sh*ttiest magazine in existence, I am rather curious about:
and
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Strawberry Fields: We put the FUN in dysfunctional. -BeatleBarb, 2007 | |
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| Deleted User | Nov 1 2007, 12:02 AM Post #11 |
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Deleted User
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Well, the critics who work for magazines and newspapers, media, think they know everything about music and I BET their songs would be as "depressing" as the ones they criticized, once they arent super humans and use less than 10% of their brain like everybody else. Their standards are unreal. Hellow, we are humans and we are supposed to write about humans feelings, we dont have a supernatural incredible perfect perspective. I dont know what kind of lyric and music they expect, really. Anyway, this is their job, to like or dislike, which is a personal taste, not a rule. |
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| Mark Stephen Baker | Nov 1 2007, 03:01 AM Post #12 |
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He likes cheese
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Gloomy Sunday, that was it. |
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| Bill | Nov 1 2007, 06:27 AM Post #13 |
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Personally I find the Veronicas extremely depressing, but perhaps not for the reasons you might think. |
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| FamousGroupie | Nov 6 2007, 06:15 AM Post #14 |
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Obsessive Saddo Fangirl
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Teen Angel Released 1960 Released in January 1960, the inane Teen Angel followed closely on the heels of Tell Laura I Love Her and stayed faithful to the TCC template: the victim sacrifices herself to demonstrate her eternal love for her boyfriend. In other words, she dies from an appalling lack of common sense for which she not called to task later during the memorial ('We are gathered here today to remember the Teen Angel who passed away because she had the brains of a fly...'). The songs up the tragedy level of Tell Laura a few degrees by giving the adolescent girl a chance to escape her grim fate. Alas, the Teen Angel makes a decision that leads to her getting flattened in front of her boyfriend's eyes. Teen Angel may be the only love ballad that nobody can slow-dance to. The beat is all over the place as Mark Dinning sets up the situation at hand, that being a stalled car on the railroad tracks. Teen Angel, all of 16 and nameless, is pulled out of the car by her boyfriend as a speeding train races towards it..... and then she realises she's forgotten something.... Let's recap - car stalls on railroad tracks, train approaches, couple gets out safely, girl runs back to car. There is a serious problem in narrative logic here because unless she's left a weapon of mass destruction behind, there is no logical reason why anybody would do such a thing. This clearly wasn't a wise decision. The chorus pines Teen Angel, can you see me? Are you somewhere up above? It's official: the Teen Angel got smashed by the train only 40 seconds into the song. What was it she was looking for? A coroner, someone who normally doesn't make an appearance in any pop song, reveals the answer. He finds something in the Teen Angel's tiny fist that is returned to the bereaved boyfriend with great solemnity: the boy's high school ring, which was 'clutched' tightly in her fingers. So there it is. The girl willingly stepped into the path of an oncoming White Freightliner to retrieve the high school ring he gave to her. That's his story and he's sticking to it. Dinning mournfully tells us how he'll never be able to kiss her lips again, those same lips that uttered her last words to him: "Oh damn, I forgot something. I'll be right back." It's difficult to get past the implausibility that any girl would jump in front of a speeding train to retrieve a class ring. As high school rings haven't changed much sinch the Louisiana Purchase, this means the Teen Angel sacrificed herself to retrieve one of those thick banded sterling silver monstrosities you can use to punch open a safe. There's only one logical explanation: the Teen Angel was murdered. That's right, this is a clear-cut case of homicide. If Mark Dinning thinks anyone is buying his claim that she ran back to the car on her own, he's dreaming. The theory is this: after months of malt shops and clammy hand-holding, the guy grows tired of his teen angel, if only because she insists on being addressed as Teen Angel. After telling her he wants to break up, she threatens to tell the school he's a Communist, a very big deal in 1960. Frustrated, the boy hatches a devilish plot and takes her for a car ride under the guise of reconciliation. He then knocks her out, parks in the middle of a railroad track, puts his class ring in her hand and gets out of the car just as a train is approaching. Crash! No more Teen Angel. This is what make Teen Angel so depressing, because justice has not been served. The little SOB got away with murder. Watch The Video |
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Youth truth beauty fame boredom and a bottle of pills | |
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| BeatleBarb | Nov 6 2007, 10:26 AM Post #15 |
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I know it's not intended to be morose, but The Long and Winding Road sort of depresses me. |
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