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Any parents of kids with special needs?; A place to share.
Topic Started: Dec 26 2006, 02:27 PM (922 Views)
iscreamer1
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I have a son with a form of Autism. I don't want anyone to come here and tell me they are sorry to hear that. That's not the reason for the post. My son is so precious to me but there are times when my heart breaks for him and I wondered if there were any other parents with exceptional kids that might be interested in starting a thread to share, discuss and maybe even vent.

My post is prompted by a few stressful events over the weekend and it always helps to talk to others that can relate.

So if anyone is interested please join or if you want to keep it private, PM me.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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BeatleBarb
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Well, I don't have any children with special needs, but I do have some that come to the library. A few of them are my favorite people, I can tell you that! I just finished reading Thinking in Pictures, by Temple Grandin and am now reading Animals in Translation. As you may know, she is a gifted animal scientist who has autism. Her life is extraordinary and her work fascinating. She has designed one third of all livestock handling facilities in the United States with the goal of decreasing the fear and pain animals experience in the slaughter process. She has also said that she wouldn't change her condition for anything.

It's also interesting to note that so many researchers consider that we are in the middle of an epidemic of autism. How do you feel about that assertion? From her observation, she does feel that autism has increased. I'm wondering if we have just got better at managing data and more astute in diagnosis. Whether we are experiencing an epidemic in autism or just getting better in recognizing this developmental disorder, it's clear from reading her books that autism manifests itself on a great continuum with very low functioning individuals on one spectrum and the likes of Temple Grandin on the other.
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iscreamer1
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I agree that we are in the midst of a significant increase in the disorder. The problems that some of these people have are not unrecognizable. My son has the same disorder as Temple Grandin, Aspergers Syndrome, and though he is very high functioning (I hate that term) there is no way he could slip through the cracks. I see the kids in our school district coming up behind him and there are many more as each year passes. I believe it is environmental. I don't know what but something is effecting the developing fetus. I read somewhere that there is a disproportionate amount of these cases in the Silicon Valley in CA. My husband works in the computer industry. I also wonder if pot smoking has anything to do with it. Just a theory.

Anyway, they are certainly special kids.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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JanaW
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Autism, ADD, ADHD...they all seem to be the 'buzz words' for kids so far during this century. I have three grandsons, ages 10, 9, 7 who are all diagnosed with ADHD. They are all my daughters sons.

I have noticed that it seems the more we learn about such problems, the less the public at large seems to believe it. I am constantly hearing things like "that is just an excuse for kids who act up", if they don't know what else to call it, they call it ADHD", "there is nothing wrong with those kids that a good beating wouldn't cure", "its just and excuse for not paying attention". All three of these boys are little angels....unless they are off their meds. Then it is hard to live with them. They make straight A's, while they are on their meds.

Do any of the rest of you all face these same kinds of reactions from the public, and even other family members?'

What do you all think of the labels that are put on kids? These boys are labeled as learning disabled, but they are extremely bright, as their grades will prove. They all work above their grade level. They have a problem with focusing, mot learning. What do you all think?
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iscreamer1
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I think there are labels given by lazy or ignorant people who don't know how to handle a difficult child and then there are truly children that suffer from this disability. Having a child with such problems I am well aware that there is a huge difference.

My son is very bright, CAN work above grade level but even on meds struggles because they school system doesn't recognize a need to teach these children differently. Even the medical community has difficulty addressing these issues. Why have we been blind for so long? Why is this only know being paid attention too? So I wouldn't say learning disabled I would say teaching impaired!

And to answer you question Jana my family did have the same attitude until it became very apparent that we were dealing with much more than bad behavior.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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Sandra

Jana - My feeling is, it depends very much on who applies the label. An important consideration must be what is the purpose of the label. If the child(ren) is/are properly assessed educationally, psychologically and medically and a label applied then it should result in treatment or educational support which has some beneficial effect on the child (such as you describe for your daughter's children in terms of medication.) I know it is not a solution and there is a great deal of hard work and heartache involved as well as a lot of pride and achievement too.

Addressing Barb's point about the increase in numbers of diagnoses I believe that awareness and assessment is better nowadays than in years gone by, this undoubtedly partially accounts for the rise in numbers of children being diagnosed with disorders such as Autism ADD ADHD. (I was very interested to read Irene's comments about Silicon Valley) I do think however that as awareness has increased in the general population about these disorders some people have applied labels inappropriately. Sometimes times I believe to excuse poor parenting skills. This does everybody concerned a dis-service but unfortunately it is an inevitable consequence of increased general awareness.
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Dorfliedot
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My sister son is downsyndrom. I don't know if I spelled that right or not.. I watch him once in awhile.. He love to say dorphy, you beautiful. I love you.. and tammy me girlfriend.. I love that kid.. :) :wub:

I just remember he use to say my ex boyfriend was my poopoo.
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~LovelyRita~

Well, I'm a "kid" with ADD (although at 18 I guess I'm technically an adult). I was diagnosed in 4th grade. My grades shot up as soon as I was put on medication for it. I went from almost having to repeat 3rd grade to becoming an honor student. I'm quite willing to accept the label of ADD owing to the fact that it allowed me to take medicine that changed my life for the better.
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Dorfliedot
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~LovelyRita~
Dec 26 2006, 04:32 PM
Well, I'm a "kid" with ADD (although at 18 I guess I'm technically an adult). I was diagnosed in 4th grade. My grades shot up as soon as I was put on medication for it. I went from almost having to repeat 3rd grade to becoming an honor student. I'm quite willing to accept the label of ADD owing to the fact that it allowed me to take medicine that changed my life for the better.

My son and my daughter both had adhd..
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MarthamyDear
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My dear youngest son has autism............on the severe end of the spectrum. My older son also has "issues". I wouldn't catagorize ADHD or ADD as "special needs". However, it certainly doesn't mean those individuals don't have their own obstacles and hurtles to overcome (my brother-in-law has it)..................There HAS to be an environmental trigger for the explosion in autism cases, probably coupled with a genetic defect (my own theory with my son). All I know is, when I was much younger noone knew of anyone with this disability...............now, almost everyone you speak to is aware of someone, whether it's a family member (close or extended), friend, co-worker or acquantance with autism. I also am convinced it was due to my son's immunizations...........he was born normal and was doing just fine until after 1 yr. of age. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and withhold those darn shots until he was a few years old and had hit the important milestones................unfortunately, you can't take those back once adminstered.
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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Emilee
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No, but I do have a friend with Downs Syndrome. She's a doll.
I wished I could save her in some sort of time machine.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Sandra
Dec 26 2006, 09:37 PM
Jana - My feeling is, it depends very much on who applies the label. An important consideration must be what is the purpose of the label. If the child(ren) is/are properly assessed educationally, psychologically and medically and a label applied then it should result in treatment or educational support which has some beneficial effect on the child (such as you describe for your daughter's children in terms of medication.) I know it is not a solution and there is a great deal of hard work and heartache involved as well as a lot of pride and achievement too.

Addressing Barb's point about the increase in numbers of diagnoses I believe that awareness and assessment is better nowadays than in years gone by, this undoubtedly partially accounts for the rise in numbers of children being diagnosed with disorders such as Autism ADD ADHD. (I was very interested to read Irene's comments about Silicon Valley) I do think however that as awareness has increased in the general population about these disorders some people have applied labels inappropriately. Sometimes times I believe to excuse poor parenting skills. This does everybody concerned a dis-service but unfortunately it is an inevitable consequence of increased general awareness.

Fantastic post, Sandra. :yes:
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Dorfliedot
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I am skidso........I always think people out to get me.. does that count..That why i get nut check..
my son has mild Autism
they think my grandson zach might have it..
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LadyMacca
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Well, I dont have any kids with special needs.

But, I do have A.D.D and bits of Ausbergers (sp?) and some of my good friends
have A.D.H.D and Autism. Infact most of my friends live on the same property as I do, because its an apartment complex full those with special needs. It's not a group home either, it's just apartments where ILS workers and such come an visit when scheduled with their individual clients :)
-Liz
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iscreamer1
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LadyMacca
Dec 27 2006, 03:15 PM
Well, I dont have any kids with special needs.

But, I do have A.D.D and bits of Ausbergers (sp?) and some of my good friends
have A.D.H.D and Autism. Infact most of my friends live on the same property as I do, because its an apartment complex full those with special needs. It's not a group home either, it's just apartments where ILS workers and such come an visit when scheduled with their individual clients :)

Wow Liz you could be a great resourse for parents like me. I worry so about my son for when he grows up. I know with each year that passes he gets more mature and recognizes things but he still has trouble contoling some of his impulses. I hope you don'y mind if I ask questions.


Martha, you are the type of parent I'm looking for. It's a common bond and I know we can understand each other. I don't feel the shots had anything to do with my son. He had unusual behaviors from very early on and I am convienced he was born this way. I hope someday we will know for sure and of course I pray for some real treatment some time soon. It's so great to see that finally more attention is being paid to this effliction.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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iscreamer1
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~LovelyRita~
Dec 27 2006, 12:32 AM
Well, I'm a "kid" with ADD (although at 18 I guess I'm technically an adult). I was diagnosed in 4th grade. My grades shot up as soon as I was put on medication for it. I went from almost having to repeat 3rd grade to becoming an honor student. I'm quite willing to accept the label of ADD owing to the fact that it allowed me to take medicine that changed my life for the better.

Maybe you can give me some hints on how to get my son to swallow his pill. I have to open it every day and mix it with ice cream and yell at him not to chew it. It is so stressful. I only give it to him on school days.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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iscreamer1
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Dorothy
Dec 27 2006, 07:37 AM
I am skidso........I always think people out to get me.. does that count..That why i get nut check..
my son has mild Autism
they think my grandson zach might have it..

Dorothy sounds like you have your hands full. Does everyone get services?
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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Dorfliedot
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iscreamer1
Dec 27 2006, 07:49 AM
Dorothy
Dec 27 2006, 07:37 AM
I am skidso........I always think people out to get me.. does that count..That why i get nut check..
my son has mild Autism
they think my grandson zach might have it..

Dorothy sounds like you have your hands full. Does everyone get services?

yes, they do..
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JanaW
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Iscreamer, my oldest son was a severe asthmatic. He took 6 different meds a day. I used to open his one time released capsule...which is the only one I had trouble getting him to take....and I would sprinkle it in a teaspoon of honey or jelly. That is what the doctor suggested. He did not mind it at all that way.
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Linda McCartney
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MarthamyDear
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iscreamer1
Dec 27 2006, 03:45 PM
LadyMacca
Dec 27 2006, 03:15 PM
Well, I dont have any kids with special needs.

But, I do have A.D.D and bits of Ausbergers (sp?) and some of my good friends
have A.D.H.D and Autism. Infact most of my friends live on the same property as I do, because its an apartment complex full those with special needs. It's not a group home either, it's just apartments where ILS workers and such come an visit when scheduled with their individual clients :)

Wow Liz you could be a great resourse for parents like me. I worry so about my son for when he grows up. I know with each year that passes he gets more mature and recognizes things but he still has trouble contoling some of his impulses. I hope you don'y mind if I ask questions.


Martha, you are the type of parent I'm looking for. It's a common bond and I know we can understand each other. I don't feel the shots had anything to do with my son. He had unusual behaviors from very early on and I am convienced he was born this way. I hope someday we will know for sure and of course I pray for some real treatment some time soon. It's so great to see that finally more attention is being paid to this effliction.

Believe me..............I can SO relate to your worries and concerns!! I lie awake at night worrying about my 11 yr. old son down the road. Unless there is some miracle breakthru for him, he will need assisted living for his entire life. A huge emotional and financial challenge to say the least...................And not one I can expect to dump into my older son's lap either :( I'm here if you need to vent some more! :)
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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tagandolfo
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Sandra
Dec 26 2006, 09:37 PM
Jana - My feeling is, it depends very much on who applies the label. An important consideration must be what is the purpose of the label. If the child(ren) is/are properly assessed educationally, psychologically and medically and a label applied then it should result in treatment or educational support which has some beneficial effect on the child (such as you describe for your daughter's children in terms of medication.) I know it is not a solution and there is a great deal of hard work and heartache involved as well as a lot of pride and achievement too.

Addressing Barb's point about the increase in numbers of diagnoses I believe that awareness and assessment is better nowadays than in years gone by, this undoubtedly partially accounts for the rise in numbers of children being diagnosed with disorders such as Autism ADD ADHD. (I was very interested to read Irene's comments about Silicon Valley) I do think however that as awareness has increased in the general population about these disorders some people have applied labels inappropriately. Sometimes times I believe to excuse poor parenting skills. This does everybody concerned a dis-service but unfortunately it is an inevitable consequence of increased general awareness.

Sandra this is a great post. As a teacher of special needs children for 30 years and a sister to a man with special needs, I have walked both sides of the coin. My brother requires a label so he can get the services we as a family desparately need for him. Without these services I don't know how we would cope. Yet if you were to meet him not knowing his label you would just enjoy him for who he is. The labelling issue has been discussed a lot in professional literature. Most professionals would rather not see a label on a child. We would rather that the child be identified, assessed and treated educationally as an individual because for us the labels do not mean a lot.
However, I can't agree more or stress that when it is comes to applying those labels it must be done responsibly and carefully because there are live time consequences - good and bad.
As for the comments on Silicon Valley, its interesting that you should bring up environment as a reason for the increase in children with autism. My special interest has been in the treatment and education of children with autism for the last several years. About 6 years ago our district started to see an increase in the numbers. These were children who had been, for the most part, born and raised here. The question our state has is why the pocket of cases in this area and three other areas in the state. Our commonality is ranching and mining - both known for releasing toxins in the environment.
Like Irene, I believe that these toxins are having an effect on developing fetuses.
I was glad to see that the government is giving more money for research into the causes of increase in autism but I am also concerned because states and school districts desparately need support in the treatment of these children. Most school districts do not have the expertise nor the money to get the expertise to help children adequately.

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Sandra

Thanks tagandolfo and Andy.
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My nephew has Asperger's
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LadyMacca
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iscreamer1
Dec 27 2006, 09:45 AM
I hope you don'y mind if I ask questions.



Not at all :) Ask away! ^_^
-Liz
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iscreamer1
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JanaW
Dec 27 2006, 06:18 PM
Iscreamer, my oldest son was a severe asthmatic. He took 6 different meds a day. I used to open his one time released capsule...which is the only one I had trouble getting him to take....and I would sprinkle it in a teaspoon of honey or jelly. That is what the doctor suggested. He did not mind it at all that way.

Thx Jana, I already give it to him in ice cream. I just whish he could learn to swallow. So much easier.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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iscreamer1
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MarthamyDear
Dec 29 2006, 12:57 AM
iscreamer1
Dec 27 2006, 03:45 PM
LadyMacca
Dec 27 2006, 03:15 PM
Well, I dont have any kids with special needs.

But, I do have A.D.D and bits of Ausbergers (sp?) and some of my good friends
have A.D.H.D and Autism. Infact most of my friends live on the same property as I do, because its an apartment complex full those with special needs. It's not a group home either, it's just apartments where ILS workers and such come an visit when scheduled with their individual clients :)

Wow Liz you could be a great resourse for parents like me. I worry so about my son for when he grows up. I know with each year that passes he gets more mature and recognizes things but he still has trouble contoling some of his impulses. I hope you don'y mind if I ask questions.


Martha, you are the type of parent I'm looking for. It's a common bond and I know we can understand each other. I don't feel the shots had anything to do with my son. He had unusual behaviors from very early on and I am convienced he was born this way. I hope someday we will know for sure and of course I pray for some real treatment some time soon. It's so great to see that finally more attention is being paid to this effliction.

Believe me..............I can SO relate to your worries and concerns!! I lie awake at night worrying about my 11 yr. old son down the road. Unless there is some miracle breakthru for him, he will need assisted living for his entire life. A huge emotional and financial challenge to say the least...................And not one I can expect to dump into my older son's lap either :( I'm here if you need to vent some more! :)

Is your son in assisted living now? That must be so tough. I too wish for a miracle cure but I'd settle for some for of treatment that would actually help. My heart breaks for this kid on a daily basis. Mind you he is happy as can be but I know it will be a difficult life.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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iscreamer1
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tagandolfo
Dec 30 2006, 12:16 AM
Sandra
Dec 26 2006, 09:37 PM
Jana - My feeling is, it depends very much on who applies the label.  An important consideration must be what is the purpose of the label. If the child(ren) is/are properly assessed educationally, psychologically and medically and a label applied then it should result in treatment or educational support which has some beneficial effect on the child (such as you describe for your daughter's children in terms of medication.) I know it is not a solution and there is a great deal of hard work and heartache involved as well as a lot of pride and achievement too.

Addressing Barb's point about the increase in numbers of diagnoses I believe that awareness and assessment is better nowadays than in years gone by, this undoubtedly partially accounts for the rise in numbers of children being diagnosed with disorders such as Autism ADD ADHD. (I was very interested to read Irene's comments about Silicon Valley) I do think however that as awareness has increased in the general population about these disorders some people have applied labels inappropriately. Sometimes times I believe to excuse poor parenting skills. This does everybody concerned a dis-service but unfortunately it is an inevitable consequence of increased general awareness.

Sandra this is a great post. As a teacher of special needs children for 30 years and a sister to a man with special needs, I have walked both sides of the coin. My brother requires a label so he can get the services we as a family desparately need for him. Without these services I don't know how we would cope. Yet if you were to meet him not knowing his label you would just enjoy him for who he is. The labelling issue has been discussed a lot in professional literature. Most professionals would rather not see a label on a child. We would rather that the child be identified, assessed and treated educationally as an individual because for us the labels do not mean a lot.
However, I can't agree more or stress that when it is comes to applying those labels it must be done responsibly and carefully because there are live time consequences - good and bad.
As for the comments on Silicon Valley, its interesting that you should bring up environment as a reason for the increase in children with autism. My special interest has been in the treatment and education of children with autism for the last several years. About 6 years ago our district started to see an increase in the numbers. These were children who had been, for the most part, born and raised here. The question our state has is why the pocket of cases in this area and three other areas in the state. Our commonality is ranching and mining - both known for releasing toxins in the environment.
Like Irene, I believe that these toxins are having an effect on developing fetuses.
I was glad to see that the government is giving more money for research into the causes of increase in autism but I am also concerned because states and school districts desparately need support in the treatment of these children. Most school districts do not have the expertise nor the money to get the expertise to help children adequately.

As a parent I wanted the label, not so much a label as a concrete diagnosis. For so many years I felt like we were floundering because no one would give it a name. I felt like looks like, sounds like, lets name it but because he is considered borderline they didn't want to label him. I wanted a direction, I wanted to take action but without anyone saying "this is what it is and this is what we should do." I felt helpless. Now he has it on paper and I feel like everyone involved can focus and do the best job we can for him.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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theonlyfab4fan
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
It is so frustrating sometimes just trying to get the problem identified. My youngest daughter has some minor disabilities as well. She was born with a hearing impairment which I noticed almost immediately but the Dr.s pooh poohed me. Every check up I would mention that I don`t think she hears very well and the Pediatricians would say, now now mom, you cannot compare her to your other 3 children. Just because she is not as verbal as they were at this age doesn`t mean there is anything wrong with her. By the time she was 3 and still couldn`t speak intelligabley (only family could understand her) I went in and pitched a fit and asked for a referral to a hearing specialist or I would pay out of my pocket if they weren`t going to, because I wanted an answer from an expert in that field. Sure enough when they put the little earplugs that are attached to a device that measures movement of the eardrum when air pressure is applied printed out almost flat in both ears. The hearing specialist was surprised she could speak as well as she was under those circumstances. she was 80% deaf in one ear and 65% in the other. She had surgery with cochlear (sp) implants put in place and then spent 2 years in speech therapy to catch up. We got that hurdle behind us and I noticed that while she seemed to be a bright child she didn`t learn and grasp things as easily as my other 3 did. So I began to worry and question the Dr.s about a learning disabilty and again I got the same condescending attitude about not comparing her to the others. This time I insiisted that we weren`t going to waste 3 more years of her life like we did over the hearing and it would be in their best interest to shut me up, and have her tested. Turns out she is also Dyslexic. So from day one she was in special programs in elementary school. She could memorize anything that you could tell her verbally but she couldn`t read. All of her tests had to be given orally. It took until she was in 5th grade before she finally mastered reading. She had a wonderful 3 years in middle school and now she is enjoying her first year of high school. She is in the national honor society and the Beta Club.

I really really wish the Dr.s would be better listeners and realize that no one knows their child better than mom.

All you moms who are struggling with special needs children are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. Sounds like you all are doing a fine job of being advocates for your children and making sure they get the help they need.
You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand
John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' !

I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN

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tagandolfo
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theonlyfab4fan
Dec 30 2006, 09:55 PM

I really really wish the Dr.s would be better listeners and realize that no one knows their child better than mom.

All you moms who are struggling with special needs children are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. Sounds like you all are doing a fine job of being advocates for your children and making sure they get the help they need.

Your statement is sooooo true. Mom's know their kids better than anyone. That's why everything needs to be a partnership between parents and professionals. Dr's haven't figured this out yet. I know when I am working with my little ones (I teach 3 to 5 year old special needs children) I spend a lot of time - almost on a daily basis- questioning and talking with moms - so I can address the child's needs better.
Everyone on this board is doing a great job advocating for their children. I know it seems endless but it is so necessary.
My older brother came of age at a time when there were no services for children with special needs (he is 66 and mildly mentally retarded). My parents, especially my mom, worked tirelessly to help him become self sufficent. Unfortunately, he still needs the services as he has medical needs and housing needs. So through our local regional services he is working part time in a sheltered workshop and lives in a group home with 3 other individuals. It's been a long road though. All I can say is as hard as my mom worked, she didn't take advantage of services that are now available. My sister and I have had to fight for those services for him. He needed those. It's so important to educate yourselves and advocate because there will come a time when you need it.
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maccascruff
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I have a friend with an adult son, in his 40's, who is very developmentally impaired. She got divorced about a year ago and her ex husband always said the problems were her fault because she babied him. Well, the divorce judge said to get him tested and apply for SSI, Medicare, etc. She did and now he is labeled as mentally retarded or something like that, but he does receive SSI and Medicare. His self esteem has gone up partly because his dad is no longer belittling him every day, but now he has income of his own--even if his mother is the trustee of the bank account.

They had set up a trust for him for when they are gone because they don't want to burden their other children with him.
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tagandolfo
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Ya for this mom!
Even though he went through years of turmoil, it sounds like things are going to be better in the end.
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MarthamyDear
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iscreamer1
Dec 30 2006, 09:31 PM
Is your son in assisted living now? That must be so tough. I too wish for a miracle cure but I'd settle for some for of treatment that would actually help. My heart breaks for this kid on a daily basis. Mind you he is happy as can be but I know it will be a difficult life.

My son is only 11 yrs. old..............but the future needs some serious planning on his behalf. I also can relate to the previous post about doctors and not taking Mom's seriously......same story with me!!! My son's pediatrician (also a neighbor/friend at the time), was pooh-poohing me too, when he STILL wasn't talking around the age of 2............I'll never forget him saying "Oh, these boys, they sometimes take their time talking".....WTF????? I knew in my heart something was amiss at the time. Sadly, it would be quite some time before we got the diagnoisis and some of the experts tip-toed around the "a" word, since parents don't want to hear "autism"...........Doctor's are not the experts with our children, us Mothers are..........and intuition should be considered a science, because it proves true some many times unfortunately :(
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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modgirl1964
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Now, don't get mad at me, but I get really leary of labeling someone with a special need. Why? Because it happened to me as a kid. When I was in 3rd grade, my teachers noticed that I wasn't paying attention in class, looking out windows, reading books I had brought from home, ect. and that, although I was a very bright kid they said, my work efforts wasn't great. So the school suggested to my parents to get tested for this new disorder called ADD. I was tested by every doctor under the sun, given zoloft and by that point was expected to focus in class. Here's the catch, I didn't and no one could understand why. They blamed it on depression when I got to middle school and my early days of high school. Everyone knew I was smart, when I was in 7th grade, I was reading at college levels and could tell you anything about American history. It took my junior year of high school and my father stopping my intake of zoloft to see that all those years in school I was bored. When I start taking more challeging classes in my last two years of high school, my work ethic was more better, I focused in class, I loved getting up in the morning to learn something new. When this was discovered, I was just so disgusted at how quickly everyone just wrote me off as a "special needs student" and stuck me in lower level classes. In fact one of those teachers in such classes went to the school and asked why I was in her class when I all ready have an understanding of it, hence what pulled me out of the special ed programs.

There are just way too many kids being written off as ADD, ADHD, and every other disorder that this socitey has today. People should really and throughly look at every option before going, "oh, well, I guess my kid's this and I better put him on meds." How do you know? Maybe kids today aren't being challeged enough. It just disgusts me how quick people fall back on the special needs line. I know not everyone is misdaigose, but so many are and it makes me very leary of it.
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Modgirl, that is such an awful experience for you. I can understand why you are leary of labels. Unfortunately, the doctors aren't good at knowing what is wrong with a child unless it is an obvious syndrome. But they keep looking for labels, which is what a doctor does - label and prescribe meds. For the last 30 years or so, schools wanted to do the same thing. They applied a medical model to kids - diagnose, label and prescribe a course of study - "special" education. This hasn't worked obviously. There is a movement in this country to move away from the medical model. The emphasis is on teaching kids the way they learn best and using different techniques and instruction to increase their learning outcomes. It's working in 95% of the cases - there are still a small percentage that need special education. IT'S NOT THE KIDS FAULT!! It's important that schools and teachers use all of their resources to teach kids before labelling and putting special ed.
I just hope things get better. As much as we are stressed about NCLB it is making us be more accountable.

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Well there was a little incident at school today. My son was walking through the hall and claims some kids were talking to him in a mimicing voice. He got upset and slaped one of them in the face. The school called and asked me to punish him at home because suspending him would be counterproductive. That's cool. When he got home I asked him why he did it and he said "it's like a have 2 sides of my brain. A good side and a bad side and sometimes the bad side wins" I don't know what to think about that. Is it good that he expresses himslef that way? I mean sometimes everyones bad side wins. Or is it bad that he feels he has 2 sides of his brain? This can be so hard.
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iscreamer1
Jan 25 2007, 02:09 AM
Well there was a little incident at school today. My son was walking through the hall and claims some kids were talking to him in a mimicing voice. He got upset and slaped one of them in the face. The school called and asked me to punish him at home because suspending him would be counterproductive. That's cool. When he got home I asked him why he did it and he said "it's like a have 2 sides of my brain. A good side and a bad side and sometimes the bad side wins" I don't know what to think about that. Is it good that he expresses himslef that way? I mean sometimes everyones bad side wins. Or is it bad that he feels he has 2 sides of his brain? This can be so hard.

Actually I think it shows he has a lot of insight into what is going on in his head. Which if you ask me is a healthy thing. Now the key is to teach him how to recognize which side he should choose to guide his actions.
You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand
John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' !

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theonlyfab4fan
Jan 25 2007, 02:12 AM
iscreamer1
Jan 25 2007, 02:09 AM
Well there was a little incident at school today. My son was walking through the hall and claims some kids were talking to him in a mimicing voice. He got upset and slaped one of them in the face. The school called and asked me to punish him at home because suspending him would be counterproductive. That's cool. When he got home I asked him why he did it and he said "it's like a have 2 sides of my brain. A good side and a bad side and sometimes the bad side wins" I don't know what to think about that. Is it good that he expresses himslef that way? I mean sometimes everyones bad side wins. Or is it bad that he feels he has 2 sides of his brain? This can be so hard.

Actually I think it shows he has a lot of insight into what is going on in his head. Which if you ask me is a healthy thing. Now the key is to teach him how to recognize which side he should choose to guide his actions.

Thanks, that's what I thought. I actually spoke to him about helping him choose the good side. Not sure how to go about that.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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MarthamyDear
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Try to get his school involved to help him with "both sides" of his brain! It boils down to impulse control and behavioral issues, something his special ed. teachers should understand. I don't blame him in a way for striking out the way he did, I'd be upset too I'm someone was making fun of me..................When are the students in schools going to STOP ridiculing kids who are "different"????? Life is so hard as it is for our kids, then they have to deal with bullying and ostracizing from the others. It wouldn't be acceptable to make fun of a kid in a wheelchair, but because our kids look "normal", they get picked on..............I hope those boys who instigated your sons' incident where talked to and not let off completely.
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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modgirl1964
Jan 3 2007, 04:59 PM
Now, don't get mad at me, but I get really leary of labeling someone with a special need. Why? Because it happened to me as a kid. When I was in 3rd grade, my teachers noticed that I wasn't paying attention in class, looking out windows, reading books I had brought from home, ect. and that, although I was a very bright kid they said, my work efforts wasn't great. So the school suggested to my parents to get tested for this new disorder called ADD. I was tested by every doctor under the sun, given zoloft and by that point was expected to focus in class. Here's the catch, I didn't and no one could understand why. They blamed it on depression when I got to middle school and my early days of high school. Everyone knew I was smart, when I was in 7th grade, I was reading at college levels and could tell you anything about American history. It took my junior year of high school and my father stopping my intake of zoloft to see that all those years in school I was bored. When I start taking more challeging classes in my last two years of high school, my work ethic was more better, I focused in class, I loved getting up in the morning to learn something new. When this was discovered, I was just so disgusted at how quickly everyone just wrote me off as a "special needs student" and stuck me in lower level classes. In fact one of those teachers in such classes went to the school and asked why I was in her class when I all ready have an understanding of it, hence what pulled me out of the special ed programs.

There are just way too many kids being written off as ADD, ADHD, and every other disorder that this socitey has today. People should really and throughly look at every option before going, "oh, well, I guess my kid's this and I better put him on meds." How do you know? Maybe kids today aren't being challeged enough. It just disgusts me how quick people fall back on the special needs line. I know not everyone is misdaigose, but so many are and it makes me very leary of it.

Bridget, Schools are great at labeling because they get more money per student that has problems.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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MarthamyDear
Jan 26 2007, 02:40 PM
Try to get his school involved to help him with "both sides" of his brain! It boils down to impulse control and behavioral issues, something his special ed. teachers should understand. I don't blame him in a way for striking out the way he did, I'd be upset too I'm someone was making fun of me..................When are the students in schools going to STOP ridiculing kids who are "different"????? Life is so hard as it is for our kids, then they have to deal with bullying and ostracizing from the others. It wouldn't be acceptable to make fun of a kid in a wheelchair, but because our kids look "normal", they get picked on..............I hope those boys who instigated your sons' incident where talked to and not let off completely.

They are addressing the situation. The only problem is we are not sure theythe other boy actually did instigate the incident or Jake just preceived it that way. It was loud and crowded and overwhelming for him. His para just stepped away for a minute and it happened. The teacher said if it was any other kid he would have gotten hit back but the kids would never hit Jake. But they weren't talked to, I should have requested that! In either case he has to be taught to control those impluses, but how!?
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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tagandolfo
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Irene,
Does Jake's case manager or sped teacher do any social skills training with him? One technique that works well is to role play with reg ed kids situations like this and then video it. Have Jake key in on the reactions - especially facial clues - so that he learns to read body language - which is really hard for him I am sure. Then he can practice role playing with another student. It is something you can do at home too.
Times such as transitions between classes, lunch etc are actually the hardest times for kids with autism. They have to work so hard to make sense of what is going on around them. He needs to know that although he was wrong he has alternatives that he can learn.
Hope that helps.
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modgirl1964
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Queenbee
Jan 26 2007, 11:04 PM
modgirl1964
Jan 3 2007, 04:59 PM
Now, don't get mad at me, but I get really leary of labeling someone with a special need. Why? Because it happened to me as a kid. When I was in 3rd grade, my teachers noticed that I wasn't paying attention in class, looking out windows, reading books I had brought from home, ect. and that, although I was a very bright kid they said, my work efforts wasn't great. So the school suggested to my parents to get tested for this new disorder called ADD. I was tested by every doctor under the sun, given zoloft and by that point was expected to focus in class. Here's the catch, I didn't and no one could understand why. They blamed it on depression when I got to middle school and my early days of high school. Everyone knew I was smart, when I was in 7th grade, I was reading at college levels and could tell you anything about American history. It took my junior year of high school and my father stopping my intake of zoloft to see that all those years in school I was bored. When I start taking more challeging classes in my last two years of high school, my work ethic was more better, I focused in class, I loved getting up in the morning to learn something new. When this was discovered, I was just so disgusted at how quickly everyone just wrote me off as a "special needs student" and stuck me in lower level classes. In fact one of those teachers in such classes went to the school and asked why I was in her class when I all ready have an understanding of it, hence what pulled me out of the special ed programs.

There are just way too many kids being written off as ADD, ADHD, and every other disorder that this socitey has today. People should really and throughly look at every option before going, "oh, well, I guess my kid's this and I better put him on meds." How do you know? Maybe kids today aren't being challeged enough. It just disgusts me how quick people fall back on the special needs line. I know not everyone is misdaigose, but so many are and it makes me very leary of it.

Bridget, Schools are great at labeling because they get more money per student that has problems.

No kidding, they fought to keep me speical ed after our discovery! Heard one teacher say, "well there goes more funding." That really p*ssed me off.
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LadyMacca
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modgirl1964
Jan 27 2007, 03:59 PM
Queenbee
Jan 26 2007, 11:04 PM
modgirl1964
Jan 3 2007, 04:59 PM
Now, don't get mad at me, but I get really leary of labeling someone with a special need. Why? Because it happened to me as a kid. When I was in 3rd grade, my teachers noticed that I wasn't paying attention in class, looking out windows, reading books I had brought from home, ect. and that, although I was a very bright kid they said, my work efforts wasn't great. So the school suggested to my parents to get tested for this new disorder called ADD. I was tested by every doctor under the sun, given zoloft and by that point was expected to focus in class. Here's the catch, I didn't and no one could understand why. They blamed it on depression when I got to middle school and my early days of high school. Everyone knew I was smart, when I was in 7th grade, I was reading at college levels and could tell you anything about American history. It took my junior year of high school and my father stopping my intake of zoloft to see that all those years in school I was bored. When I start taking more challeging classes in my last two years of high school, my work ethic was more better, I focused in class, I loved getting up in the morning to learn something new. When this was discovered, I was just so disgusted at how quickly everyone just wrote me off as a "special needs student" and stuck me in lower level classes. In fact one of those teachers in such classes went to the school and asked why I was in her class when I all ready have an understanding of it, hence what pulled me out of the special ed programs.

There are just way too many kids being written off as ADD, ADHD, and every other disorder that this socitey has today. People should really and throughly look at every option before going, "oh, well, I guess my kid's this and I better put him on meds." How do you know? Maybe kids today aren't being challeged enough. It just disgusts me how quick people fall back on the special needs line. I know not everyone is misdaigose, but so many are and it makes me very leary of it.

Bridget, Schools are great at labeling because they get more money per student that has problems.

No kidding, they fought to keep me speical ed after our discovery! Heard one teacher say, "well there goes more funding." That really p*ssed me off.

:blink: It would p*ss me off too!
-Liz
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tagandolfo
Jan 27 2007, 09:15 PM
Irene,
Does Jake's case manager or sped teacher do any social skills training with him?  One technique that works well is to role play with reg ed kids situations like this and then video it.  Have Jake key in on the reactions - especially facial clues - so that he learns to read body language - which is really hard for him I am sure.  Then he can practice role  playing with another student.  It is something you can do at home too. 
Times such as transitions between classes, lunch etc are actually the hardest times for kids with autism.  They have to work so hard to make sense of what is going on around them.  He needs to know that although he was wrong he has alternatives that he can learn. 
Hope that helps.

Theresa, I never saw this post. Yhis is a great idea and I will tell them about it at school. I will also try it at home.




Has anyone heard of Daniel Tammet? I saw this on Yahoo and was very encouraged. He descibed his childhood behavior very much like my son's. Actually he sounds a bit more disabled than my son does. Very interesting, very inspiring and exciting. I am going to get his book soon.

http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/44/brain_man
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My mom and I have a freind whose daughter has down syndrome, she is 23 now I believe. She is a good girl for the most part but like any person with a mental illness has her bad moments. It takes alot of, love, patients, and knowledge to care for these people. The metaly handicaped, like children or elderly need supervison and assistance.
Now if someone were to have a special needs child, and they put the child for adoption or puts them in a special home, not because they didn't love the child or financial reasons, but they recognized that they didn't have what it takes to care for a child with such a handicap, how would you feel about the parents?
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You have made a very valid point dantheweatherman. I guess if the parents have thought long and hard and they concluded that they could not cope physically or emotionally then that could be a reason, but I don't know what is the answer. I guess the welfare of the child is the most important thing. I know when I was born because of my condition the doctors asked my parents if they wanted to keep me and explained the problems I may have in the future. I am very grateful for the care and love I had from my parents and still have. (I don't have downsyndrome). I guess what I am saying its a very difficult question to answer. But today there are so many organisations that provide support to parents.
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I guess I would be glad the parents were able to acknowledge that they feel they couldn't take care for the child. If they loved the child and it wasn't a financial situation, I would have a hard time understanding why they would give their child to someone else.......how many of these children would be adopted? And to be put in a foster home.....I don't know, who could love them and give them the nurturing that a parent could give? I would talk to the parent and let them know what is available to help them in this situation. I would have to know the parents. A lot of parents would be better to give their kids up, who have healthy kids, because they are such a bad example as a parent. All their doing is messing their kids up. Let alone a child who has a handicap.
Tough question, guess I would have to know the people involved.

I personally could never give my child up.

I have a Teacup Yorkie who will be outside for hours but will come in the house and pee or poop.
She will go for a long walk, then immediately, walk in the garage and pee in the doorway. The dumb sh*t will walk up the steps to poop or pee on the deck and not in the yard. People ask us, why don't you get rid of her.....I would say, I wouldn't get rid of one of my kids if they did this. Fortunately it's tooties roll poop! lol

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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dantheweatherman
Mar 4 2007, 06:17 PM
My mom and I have a freind whose daughter has down syndrome, she is 23 now I believe. She is a good girl for the most part but like any person with a mental illness has her bad moments. It takes alot of, love, patients, and knowledge to care for these people. The metaly handicaped, like children or elderly need supervison and assistance.
Now if someone were to have a special needs child, and they put the child for adoption or puts them in a special home, not because they didn't love the child or financial reasons, but they recognized that they didn't have what it takes to care for a child with such a handicap, how would you feel about the parents?

I couldn't walk in another man's shoes. there are so many circumstances to consider I could never pass judgement.
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You guys have very good points, I personaly would understand a parent saying I can't, for the sake of the child fnd someone who can. If the parent just doesn't want a child with a disabilty because it is embarrassing, I hope you never have kids! Normal kids do things alot more embarrassing things than a challenged child would do, think of it, if a down syndrome kid thoughs a fit in a store people sympathize with the parent having there hands full. Get a normal kid to do that, you would say or think "Spank that kid".
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The one thing I think it's really important for parents of special kids to remember is that this disability didn't happen to them. It happened to their child. The child lives with it 24/7 every day of it's life. While it certainly affects the parents life, they still can leave the house, close the door, do whatever and they are "normal". I have never and I would never say "why me"? But I ask every day, "why Jake"?
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I have worked as a volunteer with people who are developmentally disabled and they are really great people. I also have a good friend who's 2 (almost 3 year old) son has a mild form of autism, and my brother-in-law has a nephew who is autisic. So I know somewhat about it. I'm still learning though.
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(((Irene))) Thank heavens Jake :wub: has a wonderful Mom :wub: like you.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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BeatleBarb
Dec 26 2006, 03:47 PM
Well, I don't have any children with special needs, but I do have some that come to the library.  A few of them are my favorite people, I can tell you that!  I just finished reading Thinking in Pictures, by Temple Grandin and am now reading Animals in Translation. As you may know, she is a gifted animal scientist who has autism.  Her life is extraordinary and her work fascinating.  She has designed one third of all livestock handling facilities in the United States with the goal of decreasing the fear and pain animals experience in the slaughter process.  She has also said that she wouldn't change her condition for anything.

It's also interesting to note that so many researchers consider that we are in the middle of an epidemic of autism.  How do you feel about that assertion?  From her observation, she does feel that autism has increased. I'm wondering if we have just got better at managing data and more astute in diagnosis.  Whether we are experiencing an epidemic in autism or just getting better in recognizing this developmental disorder, it's clear from reading her books that autism manifests itself on a great continuum with very low functioning individuals on one spectrum and the likes of Temple Grandin on the other.

Is this the same woman who was written up in "PEOPLE' magazine about 10 yrs. back?
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iscreamer1
Mar 5 2007, 04:34 PM
The one thing I think it's really important for parents of special kids to remember is that this disability didn't happen to them. It happened to their child. The child lives with it 24/7 every day of it's life. While it certainly affects the parents life, they still can leave the house, close the door, do whatever and they are "normal". I have never and I would never say "why me"? But I ask every day, "why Jake"?

Thanks for saying that. :hug: :) Being a "special needs" kid/adult myself, once in a while we need to hear exactly what you said.

I remember once, about 10 yrs. ago, while shopping in Sears, of suddenly being aware I had aquired a pint-sized "shadow". Turning to look, I saw a tiny pre-school boy, no older than 3, staring at me. Seeing I'd spotted him, he spoke up in a most concerned voice: "does that hurt?" I've never minded that kind of question from kids, so I answered, truthfully: "Only once in a while. Not all the time". He looked enormously relieved. "That's good", he said. Then his Mom found him, & took him away. He was soooo sweet. All he wanted was to make sure I was gonna be ok. As he walked away he looked over his shoulder at me once, & smiled at me.

If only all little kids were exposed to that kind of encounter, then "different" kids/adults wouldn't seem anything other than people.
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Thanks for that you guys. Did any of you watch the video I posted? Really interesting.
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iscreamer1
Mar 5 2007, 04:34 PM
The one thing I think it's really important for parents of special kids to remember is that this disability didn't happen to them. It happened to their child. The child lives with it 24/7 every day of it's life. While it certainly affects the parents life, they still can leave the house, close the door, do whatever and they are "normal". I have never and I would never say "why me"? But I ask every day, "why Jake"?

Excellent point Irene. It is easy to fall into the trap of "pity me" when you are a parent. However, I know very few children with special needs who feel that way. They are usually the happiest people I know. I only see them down when the outside world doesn't give them a break.
You are a mom with your act together!! Lucky Jake :)
Where did you post the video?
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http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/44/brain_man

check it out Theresa.
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((Irene)) I didn't see the link to the video either. Could you post it again? Thank you.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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see the post above yours Judy. We must have posted at the same time
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Very interesting Irene. It's amazing with Brainman and how he memorizes numbers. I need to go back and check on the Brainman.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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Liz, can i ask you a question? Well I'll ask it and you can answer if you like. You communicate very well. Have you always been able to converse this well? Did you do certain types of therapy or did it come with maturity? I want to make sure I am giving my son the best i can and even tho his Dr say's we're doing everything he needs I just think there could be more.

Thx

Irene
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Thanks for the link Irene. I remember the story now and my husband is reading his book. It's interesting how well he is functioning now. His brother is also an individual with Asperger's but he does not display the savant abilities that Daniel does.
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tagandolfo
Mar 9 2007, 01:19 AM
Thanks for the link Irene. I remember the story now and my husband is reading his book. It's interesting how well he is functioning now. His brother is also an individual with Asperger's but he does not display the savant abilities that Daniel does.

The savant abilities are pretty cool but I am more amazed at how well he has socialized himself. I wish I could find out what he did to work on those skills. Does he discuss it in his book? I'm on a long waiting list at the library for it.
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MarthamyDear
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I think it's great when we hear about savant's and their amazing talents..........however, the vast majority of people suffering from autism are really struggling and are very disabled (my son is one of them).......and those stories while inspiring, give people the wrong impression on this disability. Yes, everyone has a talent, but the geniuses are few and far between, even among the normal functioning population. Maybe 60 Minutes should do a story on the typical autistic individual and how it affects the whole family................believe me, it isn't pretty :sweet: Even in my own family, someone bought my son a rubiks cube and thought he'd be able to solve it........she means well, but doesn't "get it".
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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iscreamer1
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MarthamyDear
Mar 9 2007, 02:23 PM
I think it's great when we hear about savant's and their amazing talents..........however, the vast majority of people suffering from autism are really struggling and are very disabled (my son is one of them).......and those stories while inspiring, give people the wrong impression on this disability. Yes, everyone has a talent, but the geniuses are few and far between, even among the normal functioning population. Maybe 60 Minutes should do a story on the typical autistic individual and how it affects the whole family................believe me, it isn't pretty :sweet: Even in my own family, someone bought my son a rubiks cube and thought he'd be able to solve it........she means well, but doesn't "get it".

I hear ya. They always show the "success stories' Why not clue the world into the real story like we need more research and funding for this growing epidemic!!!!!!!!!
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

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tagandolfo
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iscreamer1
Mar 9 2007, 03:17 PM
MarthamyDear
Mar 9 2007, 02:23 PM
I think it's great when we hear about savant's and their amazing talents..........however, the vast majority of people suffering from autism are really struggling and are very disabled (my son is one of them).......and those stories while inspiring, give people the wrong impression on this disability.  Yes, everyone has a talent, but the geniuses are few and far between, even among the normal functioning population.  Maybe 60 Minutes should do a story on the typical autistic individual and how it affects the whole family................believe me, it isn't pretty :sweet:  Even in my own family, someone bought my son a rubiks cube and thought he'd be able to solve it........she means well, but doesn't "get it".

I hear ya. They always show the "success stories' Why not clue the world into the real story like we need more research and funding for this growing epidemic!!!!!!!!!

That is so true. The majority of the children with autism that I work with have varying ranges of abilities. Some are very Hyperlexic - ability to read just about anything you put in front of them- but thier comprehension is poor due to communication skills. Some are not able to talk and have impaired sensory and social skills. The children with Asperger's really struggle with the socialization process.
I really do wish news reports would focus on the impact this has on families and the indivudual life long. Early training seems to offer some hope but it has to be the right kind - which is VERY expensive and not every family or school district can afford it.
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LITTLE LAURA
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Beatlesluver
Mar 4 2007, 06:54 PM
You have made a very valid point dantheweatherman. I guess if the parents have thought long and hard and they concluded that they could not cope physically or emotionally then that could be a reason, but I don't know what is the answer. I guess the welfare of the child is the most important thing. I know when I was born because of my condition the doctors asked my parents if they wanted to keep me and explained the problems I may have in the future. I am very grateful for the care and love I had from my parents and still have. (I don't have downsyndrome). I guess what I am saying its a very difficult question to answer. But today there are so many organisations that provide support to parents.


My parents didn't have any "support organizations" either, & the Docs said the same thing to them when I was a baby as well. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Of course they did what yours did.

When I was growing up, we lived in such an isolated little place, my Mom was basically all alone in coping. With 3 other kids to care for too. Looking back I don't know how she did it--and she did most of it, as my Dad played the "too busy at work card" to the max. He virtually stayed there.

My best friend's parents did listen to the idiot Drs. "advice", and handed her over to so-called "proper authorities". Institutionalized her is what they actually did. [I met her as an out-patient]. She was bright, articulate, and very insightful. Let me tell you all that was wasted horribly! When she grew up, she had no choice but to go straight into a long-term adult care facility, as they decided for her what my Mom furiously objected to when they tried to do it for me: which was deciding she was "too disabled" to educate.

Tho boys/men have a hard time too, society treats most harshly disabled females. At one time they even thought it was "ok" to sterilize us in order to "prevent more such 'tragedies' ". :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :angry: Mostly females wound up at the wrong end of the surgical knife on that one--male Docs, [as they all but were then], had a real aversion to doing same to their own sex. The 1st to go under the knife were autisitic, & even mildly retarded children. This was '50's/early '60's-U.S. and Canada--not Hitler's '30's Germany. :o :o :o
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