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Maccasgirl's son passed on; Please pray
Topic Started: Sep 2 2006, 09:23 PM (6,879 Views)
Jacaranda
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What a marvelous article Diane. It's wonderful to see that so many people can appreciate Johnny and his gifts to others.
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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BeatleBarb
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The article and your Johnny has moved me beyond words, Diane.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Thanks, Andy, Linda, Lisa, and Barb. I am so very happy that the article did tell the type of person my son was. And I am glad to know that other people are surviving now thanks to him. I really hope to meet them some day.

But I still struggle with the fact that he had so much life left to live and how devistating it is that he didn't get the chance. :cry: So many dreams unfullfiled.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Jacaranda
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MaccasGirl
Nov 1 2006, 04:09 AM
But I still struggle with the fact that he had so much life left to live and how devistating it is that he didn't get the chance. :cry: So many dreams unfullfiled.

Oh Diane it makes so much sense that you are struggling, it is still so soon and it was such a tragic unexpected loss. Be gentle with yourself; I think about you every day and hope that you can find solace wherever you can.
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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beatlechick
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In Paul's Arms!
That was a beautiful article and listen to what Jacarand said. I have to echo it wholeheartedly. Take your time to grieve but take some heart that his dreams have only been rerouted to the people that he saved. He still lives on.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
In honour of Johnny's benefit Saturday night I want to share this special picture of a very special day for him. This is dedicated to my beautiful boy. You will be in my heart and soul forever, John.


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This photo was taken on June 18, 2005

"Our dance"
Our song, "In My Life" by the Beatles

In My Life

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places had their moments,
With lovers and friends I still can recall,
Some are dead and some are living,
In my life I’ve loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compared with you,
And these mem’ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more.
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more.
In my life I love you more.


I am thankful to have had you in my life, Johnny. You were a blessing and a joy.
I will always love you.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Dorfliedot
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Beatlelicious
He was a very beautiful boy. I am sure he too is proud you were his mother Diane.
I wish you all the best. You deserve it. Lov ya. :flower: :hug: :console: Remember if need anyone to talk to I am always here. ;)
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ogoble
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Di,
I don't know how you do it. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose one of my children. When my little girl almost died, I was devastated. I admire your strength. Johnny was very fortunate to have a mom like you.
Olen
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Dorfliedot
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ogoble
Nov 3 2006, 05:26 PM
Di,
I don't know how you do it. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose one of my children. When my little girl almost died, I was devastated. I admire your strength. Johnny was very fortunate to have a mom like you.
Olen


Exactly olen. I can't imagine either.
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BeatleBarb
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An absolutely lovely picture, Diane. You certainly are a proud mother, and rightly so. I hope the benefit is successful and offers some relief. Take care of yourself.
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fab4fan
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Caretaker
Sorry if there is a typo, its hard to read with watery eyes.

In the movie 'Contact' there was a scene where Jodie Foster was questioned about an absolute. She replied my father's love. The gist of it was it couldn't be seen so her questioner disputed it. If I could show the questioner the above photo, along with your writings there would be no question about a parent's love for their child.

I can't allow myself to really try to feel the ache in your heart. Its too painful for me to bear. I just hope that wherever you draw your strength from continues to comfort you.

I hope your celebration tomorrow night goes well!
Mnisthiti mou Kurie!
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Merry
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(((Diane))), what a lovely photo, I can see the love there between you and Johnny.

My heart breaks for you...I can't imagine where you draw your strength from, but I admire you a great deal for it.

I echo John's sentiments, I hope your celebration goes well tomorrow.


Merry


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Sandra

It's a lovely photo Diane. :D

I hope you have a successful night tonight.
<a href='http://eapr-1/@0@Sandra@1@Edinburgh%2C%20Scotland@' target='_blank'></a>
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maccascruff
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What a beautiful photo. Hope all goes well tonight.
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jayjay
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A beautiful picture indeed. It was taken on my husband's birthday. Cherish that picture for the rest of your life... it says amazing things about the relationship you and he shared.
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Jacaranda
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Diane, it is a beautiful photo and you both look fantastic in it. What a precious memory and thanks for sharing it with us. Best of luck tonight, hope all goes well.
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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BeatleDude1964
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i hope its going well!
I've always heard that the good die young
There's little time left to prove them wrong.
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bluemeanie
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is now a happily married woman x
(((Diane)))

That is a beautiful photograph of you both :flower:

Hope everything as gone ok tonight :hug:

still thinking about you and your family :hug:
Jayne x

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is loving life and is so happy xxx
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Diane, thank you for sharing that photograph with us. I hope the benefit went well, that it achieved all you'd hoped it would and you'll share some details with us.

Hope you're doing OK & I hope you don't mind, but I've merged this thread with the original thread for Johnny, so that we don't lose any thoughts or posts about him or your family.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Rose
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Well, here's another clue for you all, the Walrus was Paul...
GORGEOUS picture of both you and Johnny, Diane. I hope everyday gets a little bit easier for you...you are still in my thoughts daily!

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"I'm in awe of McCartney. He's about the only one that I am in awe of. He can do it all. And he's never let up... He's just so damn effortless." ~ Bob Dylan
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maccascruff
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How did the benefit go, Diane?
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
The benefit was very successful although I haven't been given any totals or amounts earned yet. We think around 700 people came many of whom I didn't know. The building it was held in is very nice and while the main room was a bit crowded, they also had tables set up in other areas. The items for the silent auction were fantastic and people were so generous with giving these things~~ like chain saws, leaf blowers, lawn mower, weed eater, tons of gift certificates, prints, gift baskets, toys, quilts and afghans, I could go on and on. The raffle items were great, too. The food turned out very well and there seemed to be just enough. The people have been so wonderful to us and we even had some classmates we haven't seen in over 30 years come! It was difficult talking to all these people and we all had our moments of just feeling weird and depressed. I had to stay out of the main room because of the slide show since it always reduces me to tears.

On the down side, we are barely on speaking terms with my daughter-in-law now. I'm not sure if she's going to let us know how it turned out or not. She and her parents seem to have it in for us for some reason. I feel like they took ownership of my son and want to take away all that we have left that was his. I am so hurt. I just pray they leave us alone now.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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BeatleBarb
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I'm glad the benefit went well. I'm so very sorry about the daughter in law. This totally sucks, Diane and is certainly the last thing you need. These things seem to happen. My brother hasn't spoken to me since the day I told him my Dad died....6 years now. Not that we were that close, but it is still painful.

I think of you often. Take care.
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maccascruff
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Diane, I am so sorry about your daughter-in-law treating you like this. I was going to send a check, but I don't want the money going to her. Send me a PM if you need something.
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Queenbee
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Yes it is a beautiful picture on Mom and son :-)

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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scottycatt
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Diane, I've been away from the board for awhile due to a computer crash, but I've been catching up on your news. The photos you posted reduced me to tears. What beautiful memories you have. Thanks for having the courage to share them. I don't know where you find the strength.

I'm so very sorry that relations are strained with your daughter-in-law. Barb's so right -- a sudden loss of a loved one causes people to react in strange ways. I'm hoping that with the passing of more time, you all will be able to reach out again to one another. You're all hurting right now and emotions are so raw and right at the surface. My two sisters had a falling out when we lost our parents, but time has passed and the knowledge that our parents wouldn't have wanted them to fight has finally helped to mend hurt feelings. I sincerely wish the same will happen for you and your family.




Why?
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LITTLE LAURA
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How are you holding up during this season, Diane? Hugs. :hug: :console:
PM for ya. Hang in there, girl.
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BEATNUT

ogoble
Nov 4 2006, 01:26 AM
Di,
I don't know how you do it. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose one of my children. When my little girl almost died, I was devastated. I admire your strength. Johnny was very fortunate to have a mom like you.
Olen


Hi Diane,

I doubt that anyone can add anything to what Olen has written. I don't even know you, but trying to even put myself in your place is absolutely horrifying. I have two sons myself and they are my life.

How happy and glowing you look. I'm so sorry for your tragic loss and I pray that God continues to give you the strength you need especially this time of year. My deepest, sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Beatnut
Location: Self-Imposed Exile.
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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
Diane sent me a beautiful Christmas card. The stamp had a picture of Johnny on it.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Ohh.. I didn't know the thread was back, you guys.

Thank you Laura and Beatnut. Yes, I haven't talked to you, Beatnut, but I've heard a lot about you ;) Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate that.

I'm really struggling right now and it is a parent's worst nightmare. It's supposed to be a Merry Christmas but not for us. We're just doing whatever we can cope with. The first thing I did back in November was get a grave blanket for him and a wreath. I haven't done much around my house so you know where my mind is at.
I have 4 other kids so I need to keep on for them, but I just don't push myself.

Hooray, Linda, you noticed the stamp!!! Almost nobody sees its :hmm:
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
The stamp was the first thing I saw when I got the envelope out of the mail box, Diane. It's beautiful.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Awww....you're a sweetheart, Linda.

And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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BikerLikeAnIcon
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maccascruff
Dec 21 2006, 12:21 PM
The stamp was the first thing I saw when I got the envelope out of the mail box, Diane.

Me too. I knew who the card was from before I even looked at the return address!
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MaccasGirl
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BikerLikeAnIcon
Dec 21 2006, 11:26 AM
maccascruff
Dec 21 2006, 12:21 PM
The stamp was the first thing I saw when I got the envelope out of the mail box, Diane.

Me too. I knew who the card was from before I even looked at the return address!

Tassy, you won the prize for being the first one who told me they noticed it :lol:
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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BEATNUT

MaccasGirl
Dec 21 2006, 05:20 PM
Yes, I haven't talked to you, Beatnut, but I've heard a lot about you ;)


Wow! Just the fact that after you heard a lot about me and still want to talk to me is very encouraging! :D
Location: Self-Imposed Exile.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
BEATNUT
Dec 21 2006, 12:34 PM
MaccasGirl
Dec 21 2006, 05:20 PM
Yes, I haven't talked to you, Beatnut, but I've heard a lot about you ;)


Wow! Just the fact that after you heard a lot about me and still want to talk to me is very encouraging! :D

Yes, it's all good gossip, don't worry!
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Jacaranda
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Diane:

I have been thinking of you lately and hoping that things are not too difficult right now. This may sound odd to say, but in a few days, the holidays will pass and maybe a little of the burden you may feel of having to be "up" will pass too. Hang in there. It is always wonderful to see your posts around here and to know that you are always around with a kind word for everyone here.

I hope that your husband is feeling better after all that you've been through recently and that you and your family have a peaceful Christmas.
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Queenbee
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MaccasGirl
Dec 21 2006, 12:20 PM
Ohh.. I didn't know the thread was back, you guys.

Thank you Laura and Beatnut. Yes, I haven't talked to you, Beatnut, but I've heard a lot about you ;) Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate that.

I'm really struggling right now and it is a parent's worst nightmare. It's supposed to be a Merry Christmas but not for us. We're just doing whatever we can cope with. The first thing I did back in November was get a grave blanket for him and a wreath. I haven't done much around my house so you know where my mind is at.
I have 4 other kids so I need to keep on for them, but I just don't push myself.

Hooray, Linda, you noticed the stamp!!! Almost nobody sees its :hmm:

Yes I was one of those who didn't see it!!!!!! We get so much mail, it was a oversight!!!!! I hope Diane has one at home she can show me next time we get together. :-(
And yes I don't know how Diane keeps going.Someone must keep charging her batteries at night. Johnny must be at her side, walking with her.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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BeatleBarb
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Queenbee
Dec 22 2006, 02:27 AM
MaccasGirl
Dec 21 2006, 12:20 PM
Ohh.. I didn't know the thread was back, you guys.

Thank you Laura and Beatnut. Yes, I haven't talked to you, Beatnut, but I've heard a lot about you ;)  Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate that.

I'm really struggling right now and it is a parent's worst nightmare.  It's supposed to be a Merry Christmas but not for us. We're just doing whatever we can cope with. The first thing I did back in November was get a grave blanket for him and a wreath. I haven't done much around my house so you know where my mind is at.
I have 4 other kids so I need to keep on for them, but I just don't push myself.

Hooray, Linda, you noticed the stamp!!! Almost nobody sees its :hmm:

Yes I was one of those who didn't see it!!!!!! We get so much mail, it was a oversight!!!!! I hope Diane has one at home she can show me next time we get together. :-(
And yes I don't know how Diane keeps going.Someone must keep charging her batteries at night. Johnny must be at her side, walking with her.

Diane, I not only noticed the beautiful stamp, but I kept it as well. It's too beautiful to throw away. I showed my daughter and she was touched. I think it is a beautiful way to mark your Christmas cards.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Jacaranda
Dec 21 2006, 07:53 PM
Diane:

I have been thinking of you lately and hoping that things are not too difficult right now. This may sound odd to say, but in a few days, the holidays will pass and maybe a little of the burden you may feel of having to be "up" will pass too. Hang in there. It is always wonderful to see your posts around here and to know that you are always around with a kind word for everyone here.

I hope that your husband is feeling better after all that you've been through recently and that you and your family have a peaceful Christmas.

Thanks, Lisa, I am hanging in there. Just goin' with the flow for now. :sweet:
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
(((Barb))) I appreciate you keeping my stamp. I did it as a remembrance of him to let people know to keep him in their hearts and minds this Christmas season.
He's never out of mine.

And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Queenbee
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I would have saved it too had I been more observant!!!!!!! :o

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
I am going to save it also, Diane. I haven't thrown out any envelopes yet, but I am saving that one.
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jayjay
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Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, Diane. I'm sure it's not an easy holiday season to endure, however, I do hope that somehow this Christmas provides you and your family with peace and love, and that God touches your hearts with a ray of sunshine. All the best to your and your loved ones.
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bluemeanie
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is now a happily married woman x
:wub: Diane I'm thinkin of you this christmas time :( it will be hard but loads of us will be thinking of you xx
Jayne x

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is loving life and is so happy xxx
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scottycatt
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Diane, thinking of you on this Christmas morning. I know this is going to be a very difficult day to endure. May you be comforted by the knowledge that so many other people have you in their hearts and that, because of your courageous generosity, other families have reason to celebrate.


I hope peace and comfort may find their way to your home and to your heart.
:hug:




Why?
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bec_walker
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Hope you have a good Christmas. Hang in there, we're all thinking of you.
Keeping Rock n Roll Alive:

http://www.cavernshowcase.com
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maccascruff
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Diane, John and family, I know this must be a hard day for you. Just remember your Strawberry Fields family is here for you. We care. :hug:
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audrey
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Diane, Merry Christmas. Thinking of you during this time that many spend with loved ones and family. know we all care about you and hope you can find some joy on this first difficult holiday without John. Remember the joy, the fun, the memories and have a wonderful, prosperous new year
audrey,

and i noticed and kept the stamp/envelope

a pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Thank you Janet, Jayne, Bev, Bec, Linda, and Audrey for thinking of me and my family. We are doing alright and still trying to go on with our family traditions.

John, the kids,and I all had a good cry together this morning. So hard to be without our Johnny. My daughter placed a bouquet of red rose, white carnations, and evergreens in his stocking. It is beautiful and I was very touched by that. :cry:

I searched high and low for a replica of Johnny's wedding ring for John. I found one and he lost it when he opened it~we all did. He told me he had planned on buying one. His gift to me is a necklace and earrings with my son's birthstone and mine. So pretty and I cried over that, too. Both gifts have special meaning to us.
All in all we did fairly well and had a good Christmas.

We still have the party tonight with my inlaws so it isn't over yet! Everyone is being so kind to us.

I hope you all have had a nice Christmas. I appreciate you asking about me. :sweet:
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Dorfliedot
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Beatlelicious
I am wishing all the best diane.. My thoughts are always with you..
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BikerLikeAnIcon
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Oh Diane. How incredibly moving! I bet Johnny would want you all to have a good Christmas and it sounds like you did. I can imagine it's difficult to continue on with traditions when someone so dear is missing. Maybe you should start some new traditions to honor Johnny. That way he'll always be included in your festivities.

Merry Christmas
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BeatleBarb
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Oh, Diane...that is so beautiful and moving. I'm glad you're all coming together and honoring and remember Johnny in such a loving manner. Merry Christmas to you all.
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JeffLynnesBeard
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Fiona and I have been thinking of you and John today, Diane, and hoping that today wouldn't be too tough on you both. We didn't want to 'remind' you of what you're both probably thinking of all day anyway, but we can only hope that you have as good a day as you possibly can.
...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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Queenbee
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(((((Diane, John and Family)))) I can't even imagine what your feeling today, your first Christmas without Johnny there. Your gifts to each other where very thoughtful. You can tell a lot of meaning and love went into buying them. I'm sure this will be a roller coaster day with feelings. But it sounds like your dealing as best as can be expected. Sending Love to all of you.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed New year!

Love you,
Judy

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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audrey
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What perfect presents, and you both are obviously grieving yet healing in your own special way
hope the evening went as well as the morning
a pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
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Jacaranda
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Diane, how wonderful and so thoughtful your husband and your presents to each other. I hope that you will be okay for the rest of the evening...it is so wonderful how you all remembered Johnny. Take care and we are all thinking of you. Merry Christmas. :)
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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
Those presents you and John exchanged make me cry, Diane.

I think Johnny would want you to continue living as you really have no choice. It's very touching what your daughter did, too.

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Reverend Dave
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The first Christmas is always hard. The 2nd Christmas will also be hard. The 3rd Christmas will be hard, too.

The pain will never go away, but someday it will be easier to do those hundred daily things you have to do.

I had a teacher once who told me that the more pain we feel for lost loved ones, the more we remember them. Remembering them is the best thing we can do for them.

The best thing you can do for yourself is keep talking.

I don't need to pray for your son. He is in a better place. I will pray for you. With all of your friends here and everywhere else, you will make it.
With great power comes great responsibility. With great age....
What was I going to say?
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ogoble
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Diane, you are one amazing lady.
Your son was truly blessed to have a mom like you.
All the best in 2007,
Olen
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LITTLE LAURA
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Oooooh Diane. That was soooo moving. You've got a great Family there. And buying a piece of jewellery, is a time-honoured tradition of remembrance in many cultures. I do it as well. I have 2 pieces I bought to remember 2 friends I've lost. I find it comforting to look at the rings I chose, & the ones my Parents gave me of my Grandmothers', & the locket one of them owned. It's like having their essence still with me. [And that of both my Grandpas', who gave the jewellery to them.] I hope your gifts do the same for your Family.

On New Year's Eve, I'm going to raise a glass of bubbly, [tho in my case it'll be ginger ale ;) ], in memory of Johnny. I just wanted you to know......


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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Well, Christmas is over and we made it through. Not easy but I don't think it will ever be easy again. As Rev Dave says, the pain will never go away and it won't. We will always think of our son and brother each and every moment.

It's not just getting through holidays and birthdays, it's getting through EVERY day without him. We just try to make it through each day as best as we can. That's all one can do.

Thank you for being such an awesome, supportive group of FRIENDS. I love you guys. :hug:

P.S. I want to give a big 'thank you' to those of you that sent me Christmas cards this year. It means a lot to me getting something in 'real' mail! :)
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Rose
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Well, here's another clue for you all, the Walrus was Paul...
Diane-
Very moving words in your post. Like everyone else, I couldn't help but think of Johnny this weekend, and how your family was coping with his absence. You're an incredible lady, Diane...your strength and courage is remarkable. I hope 2007 is filled with peace and happiness. :hug:

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"I'm in awe of McCartney. He's about the only one that I am in awe of. He can do it all. And he's never let up... He's just so damn effortless." ~ Bob Dylan
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Sandra

Diane,
Your family were in my thoughts often in the run up to Christmas. Hearing about the way in which you were all together as a family supporting each other, remembering Johnny and sharing the tears was very moving. I think the gifts you gave to each to honour Johnny's memory are so thoughtful too.
I'm glad you were able to enjoy some of the festivities. :)
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Jacaranda
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Diane:

I'm glad to see you around everywhere as always, but I was just wondering how you and your family are doing. I hope now that the stress of the holidays has relaxed that things are at ease somewhat.

I am thinking of you and Johnny today and just wanted to let you know.... :sweet:
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Awwww, what a surprise seeing this pop up, Lisa. Thanks for thinking of us :hug:

The days just blend together anymore and we get through as best we can. Some "things" still remain unresolved and it makes it hard to grieve. Some people are just plain mean. <_<

I think we're all a bit depressed~all the kids and us. We never stop thinking of our son and brother. I still cry usually when I'm alone in the car or in the bathtub, I don't know why those places but its always there! But it isn't constant.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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bec_walker
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:( Hang in there.
Keeping Rock n Roll Alive:

http://www.cavernshowcase.com
http://www.kingsizetaylor.com
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Thanks, bec :sweet:
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Jacaranda
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Grief takes a long time to resolve Diane and it never completely is gone, but what replaces it is acceptance. It takes a lot of time to get there. I am so sorry about the mean people. I understand about crying in the car and in the bathtub -- you really are by yourself in there (frequently anyway I am in my bathtub ;) ;) ) and you can be yourself without affecting anyone else. I hope that you are still with Compassionate Friends or if not, with some type of support system.

Your story is and was remarkable. I admire you.
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"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through." General Melchett, Blackadder Goes Forth




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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
I admire you, too, Diane. You have handled this a well as anyone could. I know from experience that you have to cry it out. I also know that grief never goes completely away. I'm sorry there are still issues.
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audrey
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MaccasGirl
Jan 25 2007, 01:50 AM
Awwww, what a surprise seeing this pop up, Lisa. Thanks for thinking of us :hug:

The days just blend together anymore and we get through as best we can. Some "things" still remain unresolved and it makes it hard to grieve. Some people are just plain mean. <_<

I think we're all a bit depressed~all the kids and us. We never stop thinking of our son and brother. I still cry usually when I'm alone in the car or in the bathtub, I don't know why those places but its always there! But it isn't constant.

feelings never have to make sense.
You are muddling through and are surviving and actually going on living which is what he would want all of you to do.
There are better and worse days but you well know that by now.

We all still remember your beautiful boy and his special moments, the rainbows, the lives he has saved that are still seeing the sun come up every day because of his gift.

My thoughts are still with you and your family also.........hang in there friend, you can only do the best you can do.
a pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
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Queenbee
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(((((Hello Sweetie))))), The sun is out today, but it feels like the North Pole. Hope your staying warm running errands,

I hope your writing in your journal ~~ that's what you should do when your feeling down.

It's kind of acknowledging your feeling at the moment.

I'll call you later. (aren't you lucky :wacko:).

((((love n hugs)))
Judy xo


PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
Everything is such a chore to do. All I do is sit in front of a computer or a tv, maybe run errands and do what HAS to be done business wise. I don't push myself. If I don't feel up to it, then I don't do it at that moment.

I know I should write more in the journal, Judy, cause it does help. I just forget sometimes :blush:

I really wish I would hear from the boys with his organs. I wrote them all a letter and it would do so much for me to get letters back. I have this worry that since they're all young guys they probably won't write but I sure hope I'm wrong. Even if their parents wrote, that would be so nice.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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MarthamyDear
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The best thing you could do is just be good to yourself........you deserve it! (I noticed on the Birthday thread you and I have to same B-Day :D ) Maybe you can plan a trip in the near future to lift your spirits???? It would be something to look forward to.........................

You haven't heard at all from the boys who recieved your treasured son's organs??? If I were those parents, I'd make darn sure someone got back to you by now........................Take care!
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong, I'm right.......Where I belong I'm right..........Where I belong.
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BeatleBarb
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Oh Diane, I wish you would hear back from those boys, especially since you were the one to first write to them! They must know what it would mean to you. Hopefully, they are just struggling for the right words and you will receive word from them. I know I would feel the same way as you, especially after giving the most generous gift one human can give to another.

I hope it gets better for you - I understand being on "auto-pilot" to get through the day. Give yourself some credit - you've done an outstanding job during the most horrendous event of your life. You come here, you're interested and friendly with others, you're keeping your family together, and generally doing your best, I'm sure.

I'm sure others join me in letting you know we all still think of you often with both empathy and admiration.
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Sandra

Wonderfully put Barb.
Diane I hope you hear from the boys. Do you get any information from the transplant co-ordinator on how they are doing?
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MaccasGirl
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The last I heard, which was back in December, the guys were all doing well.
The coordinator sent the letters first to the transplant facilities and then they decide whether to send them to the recipients. I suppose if they aren't doing real well then they won't send the letters. I'm not sure how long this process of sending the letters takes and I'm anxious, of course. It hasn't been real long, maybe a month.

My dream is to meet at least the heart and lung recipients some day and it would be fantastic to meet all of them!
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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Queenbee
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Wouldn't it be funny if the recipient of the heart was a city boy and all of a sudden he had the urge

to go hunting and wanted to chop some wood? I don't think that uncommon.

PEACE and love to my friends, Judy

When the Power of Love over comes the Love of Power, the world will know Peace.
-Sri Chinmnoy Ghose

Till me meet again ~ I Love you Mike! You were one of a kind.
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theonlyfab4fan
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I AM THE BIGGEST JOHN FAN!
((Diane)) I so hope you hear from the young men who recieved Johnnys organs. I can only begin to imagine what a thrill and relief that would be for you. There is not a day that goes by that I don`t think of you and your family. Love and Hugs, Betsy
You say you want to save humanity but it`s people that you just can`t stand
John came to me in a dream and this is what he said. "I had a vision of a man on a flaming pie, and he told me that Betsy with a B not Lisa with a L is the biggest fan of mine". John trumps 'the boss' !

I WAS ROBBED BY THAT DEVIL WOMAN

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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
Diane, I'm sure it does feel like you are an auto pilot. When I'm not at work, I feel like I'm on auto pilot.

I am another one who thinks about you and your family every day.
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MaccasGirl
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Born To Be Wild
It always helps me to know I have friends here that care about me and my family.
Sometimes people think that it all goes away with time, but I assure you it does not and your continuing support is greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your posts, Linda, Betsy, Barb, Judy, Sandra, Audrey, Lisa, and Marthamydear. You all are so kind.
And in the end...The love you take..Is equal to the love you make.


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maccascruff
Sing the Changes
I know it will never go away, Diane. My friend's mother mentions it to me in every Christmas card and she's been gone 20 years now. One of the worst parts is dealing with all the people who think you should be over it by now.
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