| Fighting fungus. One toejam case at a time...; RP Vs. Trufik | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 19 2011, 08:33 AM (41 Views) | |
| Pat | Feb 19 2011, 08:33 AM Post #1 |
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That one guy who is awesome
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"Is this your card pumpkin?" My daughter squeals as I show her the Ace of Hearts. "YES! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" I smile mischievously as she gushes at me. "You know the rule honey. I can't tell you due to the Magician's Code. And what is rule number one of this code?" My daughter pouts, the cutest display EVER as she says. "A good magician never reveals his secrets." I nod as I reach over and tickle her. She giggles and runs off. I stare off into the space she left, a small, nostalgic, smile on my face. However, I'm brought sharply out of my reverie by Jocelyn. "We need to talk..." I sharply turn to face her, my eyes narrow and the jester preps for battle. The "We need to talk," conversations never go well. Never in history has one of those conversations turned out well. She was going to divorce me. She was cheating on me. She was going to take the gets to Guatemala and sell them into slavery! "DAVID!" I snap out of it and smile sheepishly at my wife. My love. She's the reason in my life. She's my inspiration. "Yes honey?" Jocelyn looks carefully at me before she sits down across my the table and takes my hand in hers. Our fingers fold around each other like they were made to be like that. However, no cheeky smile is worn by Joce as she looks at me. Quite the contrary she looks concerned, frightened, with a tinge of angry. "I want to know the truth. Why did you really have to stay away for an extra week on 'business?'" The truth? She wanted to know that I was actually a professional wrestler? One that her, OUR, son looks up to when he can't even look at his own father in the eyes? She wants to know that while I have supported her anti-violence attitude throughout our marriage, I'm currently involved in a sport that involves hitting people over the head with chairs, putting them through a table, or *GASP* HITTING GIRLS?!?! "I told you honey. The meeting ran longer than expected. The boss felt bad for making us stay, so he gave us all vacation at the resort." Joce shakes her head but manages to smile. She doesn't believe me, but I can't afford to have her figure out my secret. I can't afford to let anyone figure it out. She would probably give up the nonviolence thing in a flash if she found out and break multiple pieces of expensive china over my head. I sigh heavily as the jester in me laughs from behind the mental prison that I imprisoned him in. My way is MUCH easier than this Dave. You know it. I know it. We'll do it quickly. It will be like a band aid! Sure once you rip that sucker off, at first it will sting, but after that feeling subsides, it will feel much better... "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" I scream it. I hear the laughter of my son and daughter in the other room subside as my wife whips around. Her next words are like acid searing into my flesh. A brutal, searing, hiss of a whisper. "I don't know WHAT Dave?!" I start to answer but Loki shakes his head. Rhetorical question Dave... Just shush! "I don't know that you're off sleeping with another woman while you're gone on your, quote, unquote, 'BUSINESS' trips?! I don't know that you're not cheating on the sanctity of our marriage? Tell me Dave! Is THAT what I don't know?" You may want to defend yourself Dave... "Hun! It's nothing like that! It's all business I swear!" Jocelyn nods frantically as she replies. "You may want to tell your actual employer then Dave, that your going on their business trips, since apparently you NEVER WENT INTO WORK LAST WEEK EITHER! I told them about the business trip running late though. I told them that you wouldn't be home for a week and that they should get on the ball. You know what they told me Dave? You know what they said?" I turn my gaze to Loki who calmly sips some imaginary drink while leaning up against his mental prison. He snaps his fingers as if remembering something... I KNEW there was something I forgot! Silly me! You know jesters, in one ear and out the other! To illustrate his point Loki pulls a handkerchief from out of no where and inserts it in one ear. He pulls it out the opposite ear and pretends to floss between his ears. He laughs hysterically at me as I try to calm the new Tropical Storm Pissed Off Wife. "Sweetie listen to me. It's nothing. A couple guys and I went to Vegas for a Bachelor Party. I knew you wouldn't approve, so I did the wrong thing and lied to you. I'm sorry. I made a mistake and it won't happen again." NICE! Bachelor Party Excuse! Let's just hope she doesn't find the naked pictures of that sultry vixen that we had our fun with last week... I absently take my phone from the table and put it in my pants pocket. The jester laughs but I manage to block it out for once since my wife is staring daggers at me. "You're sleeping with someone aren't you? I shake my head but I'm at a loss for words. "Aren't you? There's no business meeting. I checked. Where have you been going?" Everyone is silent. Everyone is on pins and needles. Everyone is on the brink of falling of that cliff, barely able to hang on.... I open my mouth to speak but I'm cut off by Billy who waltzes in and gives me a hug while looking up at me with a look I haven't seen since I told the kid I wouldn't be around a lot due to work. "Why didn't you tell me dad?" The color falls from my face. My wife stares from me to our son, who had my bag in one hand and in the other... "What the HELL is that MASK?" I grab the mask from Billy as Loki snarls at my son. I look Billy in the eyes and say. "Please don't touch my mask." He nods, still star struck as I turn to my wife. "Listen, Jocelyn. I'm Loki Synn, professional wrestler slash jester extraordinaire. That's where I've been going every week. I'm actually saving up some money so we can all move out there!" "Where David?" Her tone is acidic still. I hide the mask from her for fear of any of that acid from getting on it. The mask was important. I yearned to put it on, but I hold back, not wanting to add fuel to this fire. "Vegas. That's where the business I'm in is based out of." "We will talk about this later David. Rest assured this is NOT over. For right now though I want you out. Just get out. Hotel room, plane to your 'business,' whatever. Just GET OUT!" She screams finally losing her temper much like a levee would break against a flood of water. Billy looks up at me as I confirm for him that his dad is indeed Loki Synn. He follows me around as I pack a few things and head out. Finally I have managed to gain the respect of my son. But it appears that it may cost me my wife. Damn. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is this thing on? Tofu? Toejam? Tinkleberry? I don't know who you are and I have the hardest time pronouncing your name. Fuck it. I have the hardest time even REMEMBERING your name. Would you like to know why my esteemed opponent for this week? It's because you're not important to me. You see that rock over there? No. Not there. Over THERE. Yeah, that's the one. That rock has more importance to me than you do. Mainly it's because I can put the rock to good use when I bash someone over the head with it. You? You're nothing but a waste of space. The fact that our match this week is a Falls Count Anywhere match only adds to my delight. Not only will this be an easy win to notch onto my belt, it's a win I can get from ANYWHERE in the arena. Matt Anderson wants to keep me on the bottom of the card with cheap gimmick matches against people that no one has heard of? Well, there's going to be an issue. Mainly that I'm not a fan of people trying to bury me. That's exactly what Anderson is trying to do. Trying, but not succeeding. Each week Anderson tries to bury me on the bottom of the card, I'm going to beat my opponent to a bloody pulp. Pretty soon Anderson won't have any choice but to give me what I want. A shot. So laugh all you want now. Laugh at my mask, my precious mask, without which I'd be nothing. Laugh at my brightly colored clothes that make me noticeable. It doesn't matter. For at the end of the day, I, Loki Synn, sVo's resident Jester will have the... Last... Laugh.... ha. Ha. HA. HA! |
![]() 6/5/0 Winner of Reaper ATH 2.0! | |
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2:31 PM Jul 11