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Topic Started: Feb 17 2011, 11:28 PM (305 Views)
Los Locos
sVo Contender
[ *  * ]
The office of DR. EMILE KRAKOUER is rather cozy and bare. There is a small desk with a phone, legal pad, and pen holder against the left wall. A bookshelf filled with psychology texts next to it. On the opposite wall there is a couch with a chair several feet from it. Between them both is a glass coffee table with a box of Kleenex sitting dead center. ANGEL THE MALIGNANT sits on the couch looking directly at DR. KRAKOUER, who looks over at him through is brown wire rim glasses, the overhead lights emitting a dim reflection from his bald head.

DR. KRAKOUER:  As I mentioned on the phone, time is limited---

ANGEL:  It IS my time too here doc!  If I make an effort to show up week after week, then so do you.

DR. KRAKOUER:  I told you---

ANGEL:  Yeah, like, ten minutes before I got here!

DR. KRAKOUER:  I do apologize for that but it is an emergency so---

ANGEL:  Deal with it doc!

DR. KRAKOUER sighs.

DR. KRAKOUER: The last time you were here, you had made the decision to return to the SVO. How did your wife take the news?

ANGEL: I did exactly what you told me to do, I sat her down and explained that financially, this was the best option for us, as a family. She wasn’t happy, but a few dozen roses and thirty-eight balloons later she was more receptive to the idea. She made one request, that I no longer bring the Ruler of Maliglantis, Sultan of Sea-Maligle, Baron of Boca Maligon persona home with me.

DR. KRAKOUER: How did you respond?

ANGEL: A marriage is a combination of compromise and sacrifice. That being said, I see her point. I am an insufferable jerk with tendencies towards jackassery when I get too caught up with it.

DR. KRAKOUER: That’s some progress.

ANGEL: Great. Give me a cigar.

DR. KRAKOUER: And when is your grand return?

ANGEL: At Showdown this Sunday night.

DR. KRAKOUER: Yes. Of course.

ANGEL: The return itself is everything I could have hoped for. Just that satisfaction of walking into SVO with the sole purpose of screwing Matt….and I don’t mean that in the usual prison way….I mean it in terms of sticking it to…no, I’m not going to say that either….

DR. KRAKOUER: Just say what you mean.

ANGEL: Last time I did that you told me I had homosexual tendencies.

DR. KRAKOUER: I never said that.

ANGEL: You didn’t have to! It was implied!

DR. KRAKOUER: I have no recollection of that.

ANGEL: Remember at our last session when I said that in high school Terrence Gerrard told me I threw like a girl during gym and then I threatened to pound him like a man?

DR. KRAKOUER: Yes.

ANGEL: You asked me a question implying---

DR. KRAKOUER: I asked you how you meant it.

ANGEL: Exactly.

DR. KRAKOUER: I meant as a joke or a legitimate threat.

ANGEL: Oh. Hmm. I guess you should have been clearer.

DR. KRAKOUER: I’ll be more careful.

ANGEL: Darn right.

DR. KRAKOUER: Back to the Showtime---

ANGEL: SHOWDOWN!

DR. KRAKOUER: Yes. You have mentioned this Matt Anderson before in both admiration and disgust before.

ANGEL: Of course. I looked at him as a kind of….mentor, if you will. Then he allowed Asesino to assault me.

DR. KRAKOUER: You’ve admitted that you don’t think he ordered him to attack you, so why hold the resentment?

ANGEL: Because the action of allowing it to happen is just as bad! It’s like those people who witness a crime and do nothing. They are just as culpable in my eyes! Look at my brother, there were dozens of people who knew he was doing drugs, but they did nothing to stop him! And now look, he has no job, he has no prospects, and he’s letting our mother support him at close to a thousand dollars a week! Yes, he made his bed and he is lying in it now…..but those people who knew, they cleaned the sheets for him.

The fact of the matter is, after everything I have given him….success after success, he turned his back on me. He betrayed me.

DR. KRAKOUER: And that who assaulted you?

ANGEL: Oh don’t worry, I’ll deal with Asesino the second he slithers out from whatever rock he is hiding under. But Matt Anderson? He’s public enemy numero uno.

DR. KRAKOUER: You are aware of our talk, right? If I feel you are about to commit a crime, it is my obligation to notify the authorities. Doctor-Patient privileges do not extend to---

ANGEL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn’t some street corner, doc. This is Sanctioned Violence Organization. Besides, Matt’s ego would never allow him to just hand me over to the authorities if I laid a hand on him. No, he would be out for blood. He would WANT the blood on his hands. Not only would he want it, he would bathe in it.

DR. KRAKOUER: Interesting.

ANGEL: Why else would I come back to SVO? To get even.

DR. KRAKOUER: Uh-huh. So the return will be successful.

ANGEL: Ultimately, yes. I will win the Tag Team Championships thereby keeping it out of the hands of the Rodriguez Brothers who have been messing with my good friend El Locon. So…yeah. Except….

DR. KRAKOUER: Yes?

ANGEL: Nevermind.

DR. KRAKOUER: Go on.

ANGEL: The moment has passed!

DR. KRAKOUER: Let’s get back to your wrestling….what is in store for you next?

ANGEL: I have been placed in a match with El Locon to take on Beautiful Shame and The Rodriguez Brothers for the SVO Tag Team Titles.

DR. KRAKOUER: This Rodriguez Brothers…you have mentioned them before….

ANGEL: Yes, they are the ones who have assaulted El Locon the past couple of months. I figure I can exact my revenge on them this Sunday and cross them off the list.

DR. KRAKOUER: And how do you feel about the other two?

ANGEL: Roscoe Shame….he’s a flunky. Granted, he is a talented flunky, but he is a flunky nonetheless. You can’t argue his credentials. Former SVO Champion and International Champion. He has the tools but not the brain. He is merely a puppet of Bobby Dean just like Reaper.

DR. KRAKOUER: I see.

ANGEL: The match will be a knock down drag out but I think we’ll win it.

DR. KRAKOUER: It’s that you have confidence after being out of action for almost six months.

ANGEL: I am nothing if not humbly confident.

DR. KRAKOUER: And how are you sleeping?

ANGEL: Better now. The nightmares have subsided.

DR. KRAKOUER: Excellent. And what about the house?

ANGEL: Still a mess. My lawnmower is busted so now my front lawn is turning into the Congo. The roaches have roaches. The roof is leaking. Do you know how much that flipping thing is going to cost to get repaired? Three thousand five hundred dollars! What a rip off! Not like I don’t have bills to pay already! Taking into account hotels and food for being on the road, we’ll be scraping by as is!

DR. KRAKOUER: Times are tough for everybody.

ANGEL: How wonderful this economy is.

DR. KRAKOUER: And the flying saucers?

ANGEL: Okay, I researched it….it turns out there was no flying saucer. It was just a low flying emergency helicopter. I was completely wrong about that and I apologize for taking so much time last week on that subject.

DR. KRAKOUER: And how are you feeling about the claims of impending zombie attacks?

ANGEL: Mark my words! That is real! You, my wife, my mother…you are all being so short sighted and narrow-minded! Rest assured, the water has been stockpiled and have my crossbow and arsenal of arrows stored away! I’m learning to fire a handgun. When rotting corpses begin walking the earth, you will all thank me for preparing!

DR. KRAKOUER: You do realize that most corpses have been embalmed or decomposed to the point that movement would be impossible.

ANGEL: It will only affect the recently deceased! Or it will be a virus! Movies like “Night of the Living Dead”, “Dawn of the Dead”, “28 Days Later”…these are essentially survival films slightly exaggerated for dramatic purposes!

DR. KRAKOUER: Those are just movies.

ANGEL: Right! Movies about surviving a zombie attack! You can tell me I’m wrong all you want to, but when a book is published entitled “The Zombie Survival Guide” it’s a sure fire sign that it is coming and coming soon. The book even has historical accounts of zombies!!!

DR. KRAKOUER: Hm.

[DR. KRAKOUER writes something down on the pad in his lap.]

ANGEL: I’m not saying it’s going to happen next week. It could be a year from now or ten years from now, so why not be prepared for the worst?

DR. KRAKOUER: I’m sorry but our time is up.

ANGEL: I just got here!

DR. KRAKOUER: I told you last week this would have to be a short session.

ANGEL: I see how it is. When faced with the truth you decide to ignore the facts and cut me off. I see how it is.

DR. KRAKOUER: Actually, I feel we need to delve deeper into this belief of yours but it will have to wait until next week.

ANGEL:  You better not charge me the full session otherwise I will do something we'll both regret.

DR. KRAKOUER:  Are you threatening me?

ANGEL:  What?  Eating a pint of chocolate ice cream while watching "Beaches" and then complain about it at the next session is a threat?

DR. KRAKOUER:  "Beaches"?

ANGEL:  That or "The First Wives Club".  Either way, it's depressing and trust me, you do not want me discussing the subpar acting Bette Midler does in either film!  She sickens me!

DR. KRAKOUER writes something on his pad.

DR. KRAKOUER:  We'll talk about it next week.

ANGEL THE MALIGNANT rises from the couch and heads out the door towards the exit, not looking back at DR. KRAKOUER. ANGEL closes the door behind him as the scene ends.
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