| Crippler RP | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 22 2011, 02:41 AM (43 Views) | |
| Canadian Connection | Jan 22 2011, 02:41 AM Post #1 |
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sVo Superstar
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Prologue Do you really need the person sitting in the next room from you? Is there some requirement in this life that ensures every one of us will find our most needless moments in the most important facets of our everyday? When at war, will a soldier think more of the time spent killing or the time spent being killed? Only this is for sure-- the clock that tells the most consistent time in the world is the one that didn’t run in the first place. Crippler welcomes you. Act I Perfect Governor’s log Throughout this election process, there have been two types of peons that pervaded the Crippler’s experience—those who doubt me, and those who kneel before my existential superiority. With the election approaching, most of the pieces are in place for the Crippler to govern his home state, despite that ignoramus Tim Pawlenty trying to blackmail me into bowing out. I partially have to thank my supporters for this…but let’s be realistic; it’s really all my amazing doing. But if there’s one thing anyone can tell you about the Crippler, it’s that he never, ever… (Where you goin’ for tomorrow? Where you goin’ with that mask I found?) …Excuse the Crippler…I just received a new voicemail …undoubtedly from one of my millions of admirers. Voicemail: New message, Thursday, 5:53pm. Hey Crippler, it’s Arcadia. I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I wanted to let you know that I’m coming back to Minnesota tomorrow night to talk business. Cassie is fine and talking again, so I think that the best place for me to be is there with you before the election. I’ll see you tomorrow. End of message. …Well, that was unexpected. The kid has half a brain cell after all. There are many possibilities here… Arcadia appeals to the Jonas Brothers crowd out there… having him back on the trail could be ultimately beneficial to my perfect cause. He’s so very…usable. The state of Minnesota is as good as mine. Cassie…she may yet be mine again. -Controlling your life so you don’t have to, Crippler Act II (Thursday, 7:13pm) *Minneapolis, Minnesota—as War heats up across the pond in Normandy, the coolest of heads prepares to prevail in the coldest state of the union. On this brisk spring night, the car headlights of Thursday night life zoom down Main Street, home of Minnesota’s finest Asian cuisine, Eastern Hotel. As several groups of disgruntled tourists walk out of the poorly-named restaurant, likely thinking that it is an actual hotel, one of the state’s mainstay celebrities sits inside a booth that drops down into the elevated floor to give that true Asian cultural feel…not the most pleasant position when you’re 6’2”, but cultural nonetheless.* Crippler: Pardon, good sir-san, it would appear that my date’s curry was not prepared correctly. Waiter: Oh? What is wrong with it? Crippler: I specifically ordered it to be just as hot as she is. As you can see, her mouth is not reminiscent of the gates of Hades presently, so you have not done your job. *The waiter, a short Korean individual, tilts his head confusedly at the Crippler, who is dressed to the nines for a preemptive inauguration dinner date. Crippler’s slick black suit with a powder blue dress shirt and royal blue power tie underneath give the air of someone ready to swoon even the stingiest of Minnesota voters. His date, the aptly-named Cindy, likely has even less of a chance.* Cindy: Hehe, don’t worry; Crippler’s always jokin’ like that, mister waiter. When we first met at Jackie’s, he came in and ordered a platter of three burgers and me and my roommate’s phone numbers! Crippler: …Which was not at all awkward until I realized that she still lived with her parents… Her dad and I had a pretty good conversation about sports cards, however. *Crippler and Cindy begin laughing as the waiter, unsure of what else to do, laughs with them. Crippler, noticing this, immediately stops and harshly stares at the waiter, causing the poor worker to nervously cease his own joy and walk off to take another table’s order. Crippler’s suave expression returns as he turns back to the pink dress-wearing Cindy.* Crippler: Cindy, my dear, the day of reckoning is finally upon us! Tim Pawlenty will cease to control the great state of Minnesota, and any and everyone who stands in the Crippler’s way will cease control of their minds. Life is good. Cindy: Life sure is swell! You’re the best wrestler ever, Crippler, so Matt Anderson must be shivering in his boots that you’re on The Canadian Connection! *Crippler takes a bite of his Pad Thai, savoring its peanut buttery succulence, then takes a drink of wine, picturing himself standing on the steps of the Minnesota Capital Building, a woman on each arm…and several more women on each of their arms.* Cindy: Yeah! You’re so much cooler than all of those Company people. Um, Crippler, when did you start doin’ hypnosis though? *Crippler sets down his glass and eyes sweet Cindy cautiously, noticing that this is one of the rare times her blonde hair is not tied back in pigtails, but instead flows down her back like a rushing wave across the surface of her perfect skin. He can barely stand to stop admiring the work of art before him to address her oddball question.* Crippler: Hypnosis? Cindy: Yeah, you know. You said you were taking people’s control of their minds away from them. Is that like makin’ them think they’re chickens or fairies or something? Crippler: No, suffice to say, I would not want anyone to believe they were Raven. It’s more like…mental corruption. For example, do you remember that day at Jackie’s when I met you in the back storage room… *Crippler coolly moves Cindy’s plate of curry aside, brushing her hair back away from her face.* Crippler: …and I told you how I had been thinking about you that whole day… *Cindy blushes and smiles as Crippler caresses her cheek. Effortlessly reaching under the table, he gently but sensually runs his other hand up her nyloned leg. Cindy’s blushing becomes more extreme as her heartbeat increases in speed and her body trembles slightly.* Crippler: …and then over the course of the next ten minutes, you and I had the most incredible, most heart-stopping, most physically euphoric… *Cindy’s eyes grow wider with every word, clinging to each eloquent syllable delivered by the Crippler. Before Crippler can finish his example, however, “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play, freezing Cindy in the moment.* Crippler: …Excuse the Crippler one second, doll. *Crippler pulls his blue and black cell phone from his suit jacket pocket, leaving poor Cindy suspended in confusion before she finally has to settle herself down on her own. She goes back to eating her curry as Crippler fields a call from his campaign manager, “Dangerous” Dina.* Crippler: Dina dear, you’d better have a good reason for interrupting the Crippler’s amazing sex. Dina: Trust me, it’s important, Crippler. First off, your SVO offices have informed me that they want you in Las Vegas ASAP, as they’re afraid you’re going to let all the fans down, giving the image that SVO treats its audiences unfairly. Crippler: Eh, hogwash. Everyone knows the Crippler thinks the fans are just as useless as the other fans outside of Minnesota. Perfectly fair. Is that all? Dina: Well, they’ve scheduled you to appear at a fan breakfast with the rest of The Canadian Connection the morning before Showdown. We still expect you to be cordial to your supporters. Crippler: Breakfast with Chris Wrestling, Rey Rosario, and a bunch of whiny kids… Please, Dina, help me contain my superfluous excitement. *Crippler rolls his eyes before he notices Cindy now taking a call on her own cell phone. Crippler quickly tries to end the call to get back to his date.* Crippler: Now is THAT all? I have more important matters to attend to… Dina: We know about the photos. *Crippler, having psyched himself into forgetting about the photographs of himself and Cassie being used to blackmail his campaign, takes another drink of wine, appearing disgusted with the scandal being mentioned again.* Dina: Crippler, as your manager, I think it may be wise to take Governor Pawlenty’s offer and drop out of the race to save the public image of both yourself and the state of Minnesota. *Crippler meticulously sets down the glass and clears his throat, planning his every word so as to not reveal any confidential information to Cindy.* Crippler: Miss Dina, the Crippler knows Tim Pawlenty has different ideas of how the state of Minnesota should be run, and I accept that. What I will not accept is my prominence being lessened by any opponent, political, wrestling, or otherwise. I’ll have you know that my former running mate, Arcadia, is coming back into town tomorrow night to re-energize the campaign. Our partnership ends now. Dina: Mr. Crippler… I implore you… don’t… Crippler: Miss Dina, you have a tremendous talent (and a tremendous rack), but you have sinned against your Messiah. You’re fired. *Crippler flips the phone shut without giving Dina another word. He replaces it in his pocket and takes another bite of his meal, realizing that he must win the election with no campaign manager, a scandal on his back, and a running mate whom he hasn’t spoken to in over a month. Life, however, is still good.* Crippler: So Cindy, where were we? Cindy: Actually Crippler, I just got called in to work a night shift over at Jackie’s to handle the Golden Gopher women’s lacrosse team. They sure are swell about giving overtime! I’ll be at the inauguration party on Saturday! See you there! *Cindy carefully stands up from the lowered table and bends back down to give Crippler a quick kiss. Crippler sits still as a statue, befuddled at the very notion of being left with the bill by a date. He adjusts his tie and peers around the room, noticing several couples eating and having a good time. At one table, a man stands up and walks toward the restrooms, leaving his date, a curly-haired brunette in a skimpy black dress alone. Crippler smirks arrogantly to himself and raises his hand toward the girl. The girl soon takes notice and sees herself being waved over by Crippler. Crippler charmingly smiles at her and soon, she is leaving her table and sitting down where Cindy had just occupied.* Crippler: Welcome, darling. I’m Canadian Crippler, next Governor of Minnesota…but you can call me Crippler. Your name is…? Candice: Candice… I remember you… I think we met at a party downtown once for Andy! Crippler: Ah yes, Andy…what a card. Hmm…Candice… *Crippler brushes Candice’s hair back out of her face and gently caresses her cheek. The girl blushes slightly and smiles.* Crippler: Do you remember that time when I met you in the back storage room at Andy’s and I told you how I had been thinking about you that whole day…? Act III (Friday, 11:45pm) *With less than a week to go before the historic election, night has settled upon Minnesota with hopes of a brand new day on the horizon. Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport is particularly empty tonight, sans the night owls of the North Star State who are huddled in small groups across the main terminal, awaiting the arrival of the airport’s last few flights of the evening. The dreary airport lights do not, however, dim the mood of one man talking on his cell phone to his sister while looking for a particular flight coming in from Phoenix, Arizona.* Crippler: Yes little sister, in just a few short days, you’ll be looking at your new Governor. Can you feel the excitement? Shay: I couldn’t be more thrilled…especially considering I live in Nevada, far from your stupid chauvinistic polygamy doctrines and whatever else you have planned to put into law! Crippler: You think that’s chauvinistic? You are aware of the kind of stuff that’s legal in Nevada, correct? Shay (sighing): Yes…thankfully Ryan and I are quite happy with our marriage. Crippler: Statistically, someone had to be, I suppose. Did I tell you the Arcadia kid is coming back tonight? I’m at the airport to pick him up. I figure he’ll prove useful, even if he bailed on the campaign last month. Shay: Just don’t do anything stupid like sleep with his girlfriend. *Crippler’s eyes light up in a combination of shock and flooding memories before he takes a quick moment to recollect himself. He clears his throat and smirks.* Crippler: Too late… Well sis, I have to go! Time to pick up Arcadia and win at Showdown and all that! Shay: Wait! What did you…? *click* *Crippler quickly flips his phone shut, avoiding any further questioning from his younger sister, Shay. Crippler smiles deviously as he watches a parade of passengers emerge from a giant set of double doors leading down a long stretching hallway with a people mover mounted in the middle. A small collection of Diamondbacks jerseys among the group indicates that this is, indeed, the flight from Phoenix. Crippler peers down the hallway like an eagle seeking its prey before finally locking his eyes on a suit-wearing Arcadia at the rear of the procession. Once most of the other travelers have reached his position, Crippler smirks his broadest smirk, which Arcadia returns as he travels down the people mover. When he reaches the end of the line, Crippler extends a professional handshake in Arcadia’s direction.* Crippler: Arcadia, it has been too long. Suffice to say, your life has been empty without me. What do you say we head back to... *SMACK* *Before Crippler can say another word, his Singapore cane clatters to the ground and the back of his head eats the tiled floor of the terminal hard, his jaw suffering from a head-on collision with the clenched fist of Arcadia. Arcadia rubs his fist as he stands over the fallen Crippler, who writhes on the ground, gripping his face in pain.* Arcadia: No Crippler…it’s been just long enough. To be continued… |
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2:32 PM Jul 11