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Shean
Topic Started: Dec 4 2010, 05:46 AM (47 Views)
BBD
"Beautiful"
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Love is a funny thing. For some people love is like a light switch, one second it’s on and it’s one of the brightest lights you’ll ever see. Then with a simply flick, the light is out and you are left in complete and utter darkness. I wish it were that simple for me…

It’s been a few years since the divorce was signed and sealed, but people still stop me on the streets and ask why. Mostly it’s wrestling fans who’ve spent a little too much time on the internet and think since they read an article about my ex-husbands life, they automatically assume they know everything about our situation. They couldn’t be more wrong.

There were no articles on his infidelity. There were no articles about the nights, or should I say mornings, he stumbled into our bedroom with the stench of cheap beer on his breath and lipstick still smeared across his lips and other places a bit more hidden while clothed. Nothing written about him passing out in the bathroom floor, usually in a pool of his own piss or vomit, or a combination of the two.

No, I had my reasons.

“Momma! Momma! Come on already!” the little girl pleads at the foot of the bed.

Lying on the bed I look up with weary eyes. The ten hour flight, combined with the time difference between Houston and London, didn’t seem to effect little Lorelai as much as it effected me. Even with the short two or three hour nap, getting out of bed was not high on my To Do list.

“Momma!” she pleads again stamping her foot on the floor of our hotel room.

“Alright, alright, I’m up…” I say rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands as I kick the blankets off. “I’m up, I’m up.”

I smile down at my six year old daughter, happy that as much of a cheating, lying bastard that he was to me, he was always an amazing father to his daughter. Climbing to my feet I walk over and give my little angel a big hug before turning towards the door, my daughter walking hand in hand as we head out the door and towards the lobby.

An hour or so later, I find myself standing outside the front door with my daughter in my arms. Ringing the door bell for the fourth time, I’m moments away from turning around when suddenly the door swings open and the familiar sight appears before me.

“Beautiful” Bobby Dean… My ex-husband… Standing before me in a towel wrapped around his body, sweat dripping down, eyes wide with shock before suddenly he remembers.

“Oh shit!” He cries out, “It’s today isn’t it?”

I cannot hide the shame in my eyes, but neither can I deny the pure joy in my daughter’s eyes as she sees her “daddy” standing there just out of arm reach. Bobby looks into my eyes and I see the apology, raising my hand I shush him before he can waste his breath on worthless words. Words I’ve heard from him countless other times.

“Da-da!” our daughter cries out as she reaches out for him. Bobby reaches out and grabs her from my hands and spins her around in his pale muscular arms as she giggles happily.

“Bobby!?” a female voice calls out from deeper inside the house. “Aren’t you coming back?”

I peek over his shoulder to see a bimbo blonde, with big fake tits and killer legs walk out of the hallway in nothing but a pair of black high heels. Seeing my daughter in his hands, stops her cold, seeing the look on my face has her spinning around heading back to the bedroom from which she came from. Bobby looks my way, again with that same apologetic look on his face, but instead of shushing him with an upraised hand I smile and say, “Don’t worry about it Robert, it’s not like we’re married or anything.”

He looks at me with a mixture of confusion, surprise, and relief. Given our history, I’m sure those were the last words he would expect to hear from me. In fact I’m pretty sure he was waiting for me to yell and scream and possibly even get physical, but deep down inside, as much as it annoys me to see he hasn’t changed, the fact remains the same. He and I are not married. He is free to make whatever decision he wants, as dumb as I think they are, it’s still his dumb decision to make.

“Well come on in…” Bobby offers as he leads the way into his house with our daughter laughing in his hands as he bends down and blows strawberries onto her cheeks.

Following him in, I can’t help but look around, with judging eyes, I spy the furniture layout, the empty wine bottles on the bar counter that separates the living room from the kitchen. The furniture had a certain flare to it, certainly not something I would have picked out but it fit the overall flow of the room.

Handing over Lorelai Bobby walks out of the room and down the hall. Taking a seat on the couch with Lore, I look up moments later to see Bobby walking back towards the living room in a pair of shorts and a BBD shirt. The bimbo blonde a step or two behind looking fierce.

“Give me my God damn money you bastard!” the bimbo calls out, now fully clothes, if you could call the dress ensemble she’s squeezed herself into “fully clothed”.

I look away but turn back with the corner of my eye to see Bobby turning around on the blonde. “I’m not going to pay you! I bought you dinner at a 5-star restaurant! I took you out dancing where you ran a tab more expensive than dinner! Then when we get back here you pass out drunk… We haven’t even had sex yet, so please tell me, why in the world would I pay a hooker who doesn’t have sex? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of buying a whore?”

The smack of her hand across his face is deafening. But before he can respond the blonde is already across the room marching out of the house. With the slam of the door Bobby turns around and faces me with a lop sided smirk on his face. “Little does she know, we did have sex… Well, I had sex, she was passed out.”

There he is. The Robert Dean that I know so well. Shaking my head in amazement and a bit of amusement, Robert walks over and takes a seat on the couch, with Lorelai climbing into his lap, he turns the television on and flips it over to Lore’s favorite channel.

An hour later, sitting on the couch with our daughter sound asleep between us and Dora the Explorer going on another adventure, we suffer through a bit of awkward silence before I finally speak up. “George and I saw your match at Roll the Dice the other month.”

Bobby smiles a bit shyly as he turns and looks my way with a bit of surprise on his face. “Oh? What’d you think?”

Back in the day when we met I knew nothing about wrestling. Bobby started training the day he turned 18 with a college fund his grandparents had started for him when he was starting elementary school. He was following a dream. A dream his family didn’t understand, a dream that is ever evolving, a dream that he has followed with all of his heart. When we met he had a couple of years of experience under his belt. I would listen to him for hours, talking about the intricacies of the business, the finer points that I knew nothing about, but his love for the business was contagious.

Listening to him describe how he loved to rile the fans up, building them to such a frenzy with his cowardice and his arrogance. Driving them to the point where they were itching to climb over the guard rail to rip his throat out. With trash raining down on him, his music blaring through the arena, and fans promising his death, Bobby never felt more alive than in that one instance. If they only knew, Robert was not arrogant and he was no coward, but he played his character better than most because he understood what needed to be done.

The world revolves around Good vs. Evil, the fans must need someone to hate, just as much as they need someone to get behind and root for. Kids had dreams of being fire fighters, army men, police men, super heroes. Bobby had none of those dreams. As sadistic as it is, when Bobby played cops and robbers, he always chose to be the robber and he was rarely, if ever, caught, so he says.

“I thought the swerve was perfect!” I said with a smile. “No one saw it coming and it sets up perfectly with your feud against the Company.”

Bobby and I sat there talking, the door was open for him to take charge of the conversation. Like old times, I sat there engrossed in his talk about the feud with the Company. Right then I made the decision to Tivo the next episode of Showdown and every episode after. Although my light switch was set to “Off” the light never goes out completely.



Days later the doors to the arena open as I walk in with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder, my sunglasses hiding my eyes from the many faces that turned my way at my arrival.

“Hey Bobby!” Jeremiah Sloan calls out rushing up to my side. After a shake of hands he asks, “You ready buddy? Tonight’s a huge night for Beautiful Shame. Cooper and Rider… Company vs. BS…”

“BS?” I ask with a snicker. “Seriously?”

“Beats what some of the other nicknames I’ve heard. For instance, Shean (Shame + Dean = pronounced Sheen)” Sloan says with a laugh that’s cut short by my intense look. “Ok, so we need to work on the whole nickname for the group and all, but seriously, tonight is a big night.”

I smile, raising my sunglasses up, my eyes burning with an intense fire. “Don’t worry Jay, “Beautiful” Bobby Dean is ready for this fight.”

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