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Limp
Topic Started: Apr 24 2010, 09:51 PM (61 Views)
Xtreme Fusion
sVo Superstar
[ *  *  * ]
I plop myself down into a chair in the airport and pull out my phone. I quickly look up Johnny’s number in the cell phone’s phonebook and push call. “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al starts playing as I wait for Johnny to answer his phone. Finally I hear Johnny’s voice on the other end of the phone.

Johnny: Hey you’ve reached Johnny’s phone but not Johnny. I’m out looking for the Eiffel Tower but in a day or two I promise I’ll call you back if you leave me your name and number. Hey wait… is that it? I JUST FOUND THE EIFFEL TOWER!!!

BEEP!

Limp: Johnny you freaking idiot. You booked me a flight to Birmingham, Alabama instead of Las Vegas, Nevada. Call me back so I can yell at you properly!

I hang up the phone and slide it into my pocket. About as soon as I do “Ego” by Element 80 starts and I pull the phone back out and answer it.

Limp: Johnny you fool-

A stunned and disappointed look crosses my face.

Limp: Oh sorry honey I was expecting someone else obviously. I’m just a little pissed off right now as Johnny has me stranded in Birmingham Alabama when I need to be in Las Vegas, Nevada for Sunday night's Showdown show.

The camera closes in on me so everyone can hear Amanda talking to me.

Amanda: Well let me get on the internet real quick and see if I can get you there on time.

Limp: That would be great.

Amanda: I’m seeing here that you just missed a flight out of Birmingham to New York and then could have connected to go to Las Vegas. The only choice left is a 4:30 flight to Toronto, Ontario, Canada and then hop on another plane to get to Las Vegas, Nevada.

Limp: Toronto? Toronto doesn’t have anything except the Maple Leafs… but who cares about the Maple Leafs?

Amanda: They also have a flight that connects to Las Vegas, Nevada and I think you do care about that.

Limp: Yes I do. Just one final question thought. It’s not Southwest is it?

Amanda: Why?

Limp: There were a few problems and I’ve kind of been banned from flying Southwest ever again.

Amanda: (She Sighs) No it’s with Delta and Air India.

Limp: Marvelous! Book it for me please.

Amanda: You owe me big time for this one.

Limp: I’ll make it up to you when I get home. How’s Joey doing?

Amanda: He got in a fight at school.

Limp: Did he win!?

Amanda: That’s not the point.

Limp: Yeah you’re right…. He hurt the other guy more right?

Amanda: For your information he got in a fight because of you. Some Junior had the gull to tease him about you losing at the PPV.

Limp: I hope Joey cleaned his clock. I mean you saw the match… if it wasn’t for that crooked referee we would have won that damn match.

Amanda: Limp, you’re 34 years old. When are you finally going to quit this business for good and spend time with your wife and son?

Limp: Oh sorry hun… my signal is breaking up. I’m going to have to call you later. Love you bye!

I quickly hang up the phone and slide it into my pocket. Amanda isn’t stupid though and she knows that was just a horrible excuse to avoid her question. The “R” word is something that I’ve battled for a few years now. I maintain that I still have a ton of talent and am better then everyone else… because it’s the truth. However my recovery time seems to be slowing down a lot, as my right hand is still killing me from my last match, and the stitches in my head won’t be taken out for a few more days. But I’m going to gut it out and Marvelously Manhandle Travis Williams and Anti-Hero at Showdown to win the SVO World Tag Team Titles.

I look at the clock on the wall and notice that I still have a good two hour wait until my scheduled flight to Toronto. So I get up to try to find something constructive to do for a while. As I’m making my way through the airport my phone goes off again and I answer it.

Limp: Hello

Johnny: Limp I’m so sorry

Limp: Johnny you are an idiot. You’re lucky that Amanda bailed you out by getting me tickets to get to where I need to go. You’re not secretary material.

Johnny: You could always make me your manager.

Limp: No chance in hell buddy. It took me forever to get rid of you, I’m not screwing up and getting stuck with you again.

Johnny: Oh come on it will be fun.

Limp: No, in fact I’m done talking to you now. I have a ton of free time and I don’t want to spend another second of it talking to you.

I once again hang up my phone and slide it back into the pocket of my red trench coat as I continue to walk around in the airport. As I walk I start to hear the sound of music and figure I’ll go hang out there and at least get a little entertainment. As I approach the source of the music I see one of those bad airport bands that have like four old guys in them. I sit down and listen to them butcher a song and then they announce that they are going on a 15 minute break. Bored and frustrated by the events that have lead me to hick town USA I decide to take a seat behind the keyboard up on the little stage. I belt out the keys from Jaws… you know when the shark is going to attack. I snicker and then switch up to the opening to the opening for “Old Time Rock n’ Roll”. I notice that people are starting to look at me sitting up on the stage and I figure I might as well give them a little show. I start playing “Barbara Ann” By the Beach Boys.

Limp: Ah, Travis Williams and Anti-Hero


Oh Travis and Anti-Hero, come lose to me
Travis Williams and Anti-Hero
I’ll have you flippin’ and floppin’
droppin’ and jobbin’
Travis Williams and Anti-Hero


We’re going to fight, after my flight
against Travis Williams and Anti-Hero, in a victory I’ll delight
Against Travis Williams and Anti-Hero, Travis Williams and Anti-Hero
Come lose to me
I’ll have you flippin’ and floppin’
droppin’ and jobbin’
Travis Williams and Anti-Hero-

Suddenly I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I turn and get a cane upside my head by one of the old men that used to be up here. A security team stands between me and the old guy to stop me from ripping his head off and shoving that cane up his ass.

Knowing that I can’t get into any legal trouble I head away from the old farts and head off to pick up my tickets for my Delta flight to Toronto. I quickly walk up to the counter and give the lady my name and grab my tickets and head for the plane. After passing through all the security measures I finally find myself boarding another airplane. I get on the plane and make my way to the first class section and sit down. I sit back and relax when I once again feel a tapping on my shoulder.

Limp: I totally have first class tickets!

Flight Attendant: I was just going to ask you if you wanted something to drink Mr. Limp.

Limp: Oh…. I’d love a water thank you.

The flight attendant hands me water and the scene fades.

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

The camera guy once again catches up with me getting off the plane in Toronto. I’m a happy man as it was a good flight and I got some more rest. I grab my luggage from the luggage return rack and roll over to the chairs as I have a few minutes before I have to board my flight to Las Vegas, Nevada. There are a few people already sitting down and I notice they seem to be whispering as I approach.

Man: Hey, it’s Limp everyone! How’s the hand and head?

Limp: First thanks for blowing what little cover I had. Secondly I’m doing fine.

Man: I hear you’re taking on Travis Williams and Anti-Hero for the SVO Tag Team Titles at Showdown. I’ve got front row tickets to the event.

Limp: Good for you. You will get the pleasure of watching both DVD and myself win the Tag Team Titles Sunday Night.

Man: What do you think Travis Williams and Anti-Hero are going to have in store for you?

Limp: Travis who? Oh that new tag team that has our gold. I don’t care what they think I am going to do. Xtreme Fusion is going into Showdown and will be beating Travis Williams and Anti-Hero for the SVO World Tag Team Titles. Then I’m going to march right straight to the SVO's Office and demand a shot at the Las Vegas Championship. And that will be the end of Howard Thompson's title reign.

Man: But he has been a great champion.

Limp: Why does everyone keep over looking the fact that he can't call himself a great champion without beating me? I have been screwed over and nobody seems to care.

Man: The Xtreme Fusion has screwed so many people over that it was only fair it turned on them.

Limp: What are you talking about? The Xtreme Fusion always fights fair. You didn’t see me paying off a referee so I could win a match at the PPV did you? No, but The Corporation did. Because they know that in a tag team match with no bullsh*t they couldn’t wear our jockstraps.

Man: I can’t wait to see the future Hall of Famers at Showdown.

Limp: Well you know you’re sitting next to a current Hall of Famer in XWF.

Man: Where is that place?

Limp: Never mind. The point is that if people think for one second that Travis Williams and Anti-Hero are going to beat us at Showdown because they are coming off of a high of becoming Tag team Champions they’ve thought one second too long on it.

Johnny: Yeah Limp is going to Limpown them.

Man: It’s Johnny!

Limp: What in the hell are you doing here!?

Johnny: I’ve got a ticket here in my hand that says I’m flying to Las Vegas, Nevada.

Limp: And what do you think you’re going to do there?

Johnny: Accompany you to the ring like I used to do.

Limp: No way! I’m not letting you backstage.

Johnny: Then I’ll buy a ticket.

Limp: The show has been sold out for weeks Johnny. This is SVO not some second rate fed that doesn’t sell out shows.

Johnny: Then I will just buy someone else’s ticket.

I watch as Johnny swipes the front row seat ticket from the man’s hand and tosses him a wad of cash.

Man: Cool thanks. This will pay for a ticket to a future show and basically my entire trip.

Limp: Where did you get that money from?

Johnny: All those rookies from the training center paid me their tuition today.

Limp: You just gave away the tuition for Five Wrestlers?

Johnny: Actually no. I got a front row ticket for it… and it was actually Six Wrestlers Tuitions. Pfft.. and you’re supposed to be the smart one.

Limp: Johnny I don’t have the time or patience to deal with you.

Johnny: Sure you do. We’ve got a long flight to Las Vegas to talk about things. Speaking of which we’re going to be late Limp… we should get going.

I shoot the man who sold Johnny a ticket to Showdown a dirty look and grab my luggage and start to head for the boarding gate with Johnny (unfortunately) at my side. Johnny is walking along talking like a hyper little lap dog but I’m just ignoring him… or else I’d have to smash something over his mother loving head. And right now I’m just trying to focus all of my anger and hatred on Travis Williams and Anti-Hero and stripping them…… of their Titles. Suddenly my train of thought is broken by Johnny.

Johnny: Hey Limp! I Found The Eiffel Tower!

I slap myself in the forehead as Johnny is pointing at the airplane. The scene fades as we step onto the plane.
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