| The Dick Gets A Raise | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 18 2010, 01:36 AM (76 Views) | |
| Pat | Apr 18 2010, 01:36 AM Post #1 |
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That one guy who is awesome
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Of all the places one would expect to find the best, excuse me, the BEST, star the sVo has to offer, it'd be a huge surprise to find that one perfect example, that one shining example of perfection that anyone on the roster and everyone privileged enough to witness just one of his matches aspires to become, in a mother trucking McDonald's. Yet here we are, a shiny newer looking McDonald's in the heart of Hollywood, with the one, the only, Christopher St. James, sitting in a booth trying very hard not to vomit. Sure people noticed him, snapped pictures with their phones and sure, he was going to be the topic of many wrestling forum threads. What was CSJ doing in a Mikey D's? What was he doing alone? While he may not have "true" friends, he could certainly pay someone to hang out with him, but would they seriously go to McDonald's especially with CSJ's mega millions paying? It didn't matter. Any likeness posted of CSJ without his approval was subject to a lawsuit. It's part of his contract, a contract that was drawn up personally for him, by, well, his high priced lawyer. However, I digress... Out of no where CSJ's sullen look becomes one of slight interest as a man who could easily be described as "portly" entered the world famous fast food establishment. He was wearing a dark green golf shirt complete with pit stains that any fat guy has to worry about in the California heat. The guy had no neck since his many chins hid it from view. He was bald, the only hair on his head being red, outlining the huge bald spot on top of his head. To complete the ensemble he is wearing a pair of khakis, complete with a pair of white socks and sandals. CSJ can't help but smile at the bizarre appearance of his Dick. The Dick's beady eyes scanned the restaurant and quickly spotted CSJ, he nods and proceeds up to the cash register. "I'll have an extra large number one, extra special sauce please. Hell you only live once right?!?! Hahahaha. Make it two of the same. You can keep the pickles." The Dick says in a voice that can be described as the perfect fat guy voice. The poor lady leans to the right, seeing if the husky Dick was hiding anyone from view but finds that he's the only one in that radius. In fact it seemed that a lot of the people while still aware of CSJ's presence, were now more amused at the fat guy. What can I say? Fat guys amuse the general public. The Dick pays for his food receives it and heads over to where CSJ sits, a look of mingled fury, confusion, and amusement displayed on his face. "Dick?!" The Dick sits down across from CSJ, his huge belly pushing the table into St. James, effectively pinning him to the booth. Grabbing some fries, The Dick shoves them into his mouth and takes a gulp from one of his extra large cokes. He nods as he continues with his first box of fries. CSJ tries to push the table away from him, gaining little ground but enough that he can wiggle and breath. He continues to stare at The Dick as the fat man continues to eat food. "You can't be...MY Dick though. HE wasn't, you know..." "Fat?" CSJ nods as The Dick takes another swig from his first cup, effectively taking out three quarters of the beverage in two gulps. He takes a deep, rattling breath like only a fat man can and says. "I have a glandular problem. Something to do with my, uh, epiglottis." CSJ looks like he accepts this but finally it clicks. Before he can say anything though The Dick whispers in between bites. "I'm incognito. I don't like people knowing what I look like. Before you ask because I know your taste in dining doesn't expand to McFuckingDonald's but this costume of mine wouldn't fit in any where else. Look and play the part. You know the drill, I believe I explained all this to you last time." "You did, but...Uh...Just remember who signs your paychecks." The Dick nods and asks. "Did you find my last information useful? You know, that stuff about that French fella? Tobias?" CSJ nods but before he can stop himself says. "He's not French. Fuck. I've just heard it so much. But yeah, he's under my payroll now. My own personal bitch." CSJ looks at his watch and then back at The Dick. "Right now he should be in the middle of his proper English lesson." The two share a laugh much like a pair of friends would share a laugh about a really good joke. They calm down quickly however, to avoid any more attention than what they were already given. CSJ observes in disgust as The Dick polishes off his fries and moves on to one of his Big Mac's or as CSJ calls them, heart attacks on a bun. "How can you eat that shit?" The Dick shrugs and says. "To be honest, I despise this crap. Playing the part though. After this meeting is done working out becomes my number one priority. Don't worry though, I've done some more digging and found some more dirt for you to play in." Suddenly CSJ's face lights up, much like a child's does when you tell them that they're getting their most desired toy. The Dick only continues to eat as CSJ leans forward in eagerness. As he finishes the first Big Mac The Dick says. "Listen, I found another star on your roster that is having money issues. Possible gambling problem based on what I saw when I saw him at Goodfella's Casino. Has a child and pays child support. Kid lives with her mom. It's all in the file I sent you. Of course you haven't gotten it yet but I needed to tell you in person. After this I of course will want a raise." CSJ nods and waves his hand as if to dismiss the raise. "Of course, money is no object of concern. Who is it?" The Dick laughs and staying true to his moniker says. "I won't tell. Like I said, it's all in the file I sent to your personal office, to be handled only by you, to do with as you please. Why spoil the surprise?" The Dick looks on in amusement as CSJ starts to fidget, eager to get back to his office and find out who was next on his list. Sure it wasn't as easy as getting Tobias under his thumb. Loan sharks are all one in the same. Give them what they want, they're satisfied. When it came to child support, a subject that CSJ knew very little about, except that he'd have to get personally involved. It wasn't just a one large payment and it'd disappear. This was something he'd have to get legal documents for, a process, not to mention the personal aspect of things. Still though, if he got Night under his thumb, it'd be well worth it. As CSJ continued to daydream about what he'd do with Night as his puppet The Dick finished his meal. He proceeds to throw out his garbage and starts to sip his final drink as CSJ continues to fidget. Once again to live up to his name The Dick says. "Well I can see that you're about to jizz yourself in your excitement. It's Shame. Roscoe Shame. I spoiled it for you." CSJ stopped fidgeting and looks at The Dick. "Really?" The Dick nods and CSJ falls silent and still. The Dick says. "Any plans for what you're doing with this information?" CSJ nods. "The usual. It will take some doing but I'm going to go for it. I know you asked for a raise, that isn't an issue. Same process?" This time it's The Dick's turn to nod. CSJ stands up and says. "Well, it's been a pleasure and I thank you. We'll stay in touch." The Dick nods as CSJ leaves the restaurant, his head spinning as he starts to make plans for his newest asset. Was Roscoe desperate enough to accept a CSJ payout? Was he desperate enough to fall into the same hole that Tobias dug for himself? Here's hoping for a resounding "YES!" Who said money couldn't buy friends? ============================================================ My first week in the sVo and jumped on the "I hate CSJ" bandwagon. You told everyone how much of a despicable person I am. I can't dispute this fact, I am a dick. I've been buying my own happiness ever since I was conceived. Why not spread the wealth though? Roscoe, this week I offer to you my hand. No, not to shake, but to kiss the rings that I wear, much like a simple peasant kisses the rings of royalty when they grace him with their presence. Why though? The fans will boo me as soon as I show up. They don't know what happens behind the scenes. They don't have access to the information that I do. Did you know that with a phone call I can find the location of Paige Johnson? Did you know that I have information on EVERY SINGLE ROSTER MEMBER IN THE sVo? No one is untouchable. Every little piece of information has it's price and to be honest there isn't a price I can't pay. Why am I telling you this Roscoe? Is it because I want to be nice to you and share my information? No. To be honest it's just to rub that fact in. Think of this as salt being poured into a fresh wound. I know everything there is to know about you Roscoe. I know about your money problems. I know that you're being a piss poor example of a father by gambling away your child support money. However, I'm not that evil of a man. This Sunday, after I beat you senseless in our match, I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. Because to be honest, you don't have that many options left. So the next time you see your daughter I want you to think long and hard about your options. You can either take my offer, or you can get your visitation revoked because you'd rather lose you money to a fat ass in a cheap suit than to pay your child support. I'm your way out of that mess. I suggest you take it. To business though. On Sunday during our match I will once again regain my momentum to the top. I will take down the International Champion in a display that will make it very hard for the powers that be to ignore. After you I'll move on to Night who won't last in the ring against me. One step at a time though right? I'll see you Sunday Roscoe, when it will be, what was it again? Oh yes, SHAME TIME! Because I am Christopher St. James, Mr. #1derful, God's Gift to Everything, The Personification of Perfection, and like a rock on a hill, that's how I roll. |
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12:54 AM Jul 11