Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Who knew life came down to an Iron Butterfly song?; vs La Envidia Mata
Topic Started: Apr 17 2010, 03:55 AM (47 Views)
Bond
Member Avatar
sVo Icon
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
________________________________________________________________

:: In the Beginning ::
________________________________________________________________


Millennia ago, it was told of a man who would stand up for the injustices of society perpetrated by an evil corporation.

That one day, he would come and save the day. He wouldn’t be a cookie-cutter hero. He wouldn’t be the stereotypical savior. He would be one of a kind. He would rise one day, and know what must be done.

And it just so happens, that today was that day.

And that is where we find the genesis of story.

“Today was a day that was unlike any other day.” Bah, hum bug. Today was the day after yesterday.

However, today was the day that Chris Bond arose with the goal to beat the living hell out of Inna Gada Davida, the apparent leader of the Corporation. (Ironically, not trademarked by the WWE.)

And on this day, it was foretold that Chris Bond would deliver unto the Corporation a beating so devastating, that greater men would die from. (No, that’s not an error. The Corporation is lame.)

Also foretold was the death of the Corporation. It was stated that the birth of the Corporation was the death of the wrestling industry. News flash--it was the death of all humanity.

Yes, again, the Corporation is that lame.

It isn’t about a collection of talent--or lack thereof--nay, the Corporation is an alliance of ill-equipped wrestlers, under one flagship, lead by a man so high on himself, if he looked down he’d get a nosebleed (formerly known as DREAM Wrestling)…

But that’s not what was different about any other day--today, Chris Bond, aware of what Inna Gada Davida spoke and thought of him, today Chris Bond swore to end the misery created by the Corporation. The misery that was spread every time one of their promos aired. The misery that continued every time they hyped their matches. The misery that never ended, especially during one of their less-than-stellar wrestling matches.

Chris Bond knew that today would be the day that he took the sword from the stone, and he would ride with Excalibur and slay the five headed dragon terrifying Camelot.

Chris wasn’t King Arthur, no, but he would be better. King Arthur failed at keeping Camelot safe. Chris Bond would not fail.

It wasn’t foretold centuries ago.

It wasn’t even foretold when they booked this show.

For deep within each and every psychic, mystic, and all-around medium… they knew that Chris Bond couldn’t fail. The only man that could stop him, wouldn’t.

So he would succeed.
Failure wasn’t an option.
________________________________________________________________

:: From the Desk of: My Foot In Your Ass ::
________________________________________________________________


Rule #1: Don’t insult somebody who is going to be handing you your ass on a silver platter.

Rule #2: Fuck you, you little bitch. I’m kicking your teeth down your throat.

Rule #3: If decide to ignore any of the rules, make sure it isn’t Rule #1 or Rule #2.

So you want to toss around the gay analogies Inna Gada Davida?
You want to call me a loser?

Do you have any idea as to who I am? I’m not some little bitch, some little n00b who you’ll be using as a goddamn stepping stone.

Let me fill you in:

I’m an sVo Original. I was here two years ago, and two years from now. I was fighting in the main event scene while you were off masturbating to Victoria’s Secret magazines.

I helped carry the entire Hostility Wrestling Federation on my shoulders, for almost it’s entire life.

I’m a two-time Hostility World Champion.

I ended Ozric Mortimer’s Hostility Career.

What have you done?

Let me guess… hold championships in some federation I’ve never heard of, never care to hear of, and you call yourself a “wrestling God”.

News flash Sugartits, this isn’t about what you call yourself.

This is about who you are.

And thus far you’re nothing.

Let me put it to you this way, if I was standing in front of you right now, I’d probably expect you to be taking my order at McDonalds, or I’d assume you were the valet.

You’re about as relevant in today’s wrestling scene as what I had for Thanksgiving Dinner is to my toilet. Don’t mean nothing but shit.

So you go right ahead. You make fun of me. You call me gay. You can call me a loser.

But while you hurl insults at me to make yourself something bigger than you actually are, know this.

For every jab you throw at me, every insult you toss my way… I’ll level you with three or four more and then throw that ball right back in your face. In this version of “Who’s Dick Is Bigger?”… let’s just say you’re dealing with a cocktail weenie and I’ve got a fucking kielbasa. Oh, and that’s about how big my penis is in real life… so yeah, just thought I’d throw that out there, too.

But back to what I was saying. It doesn’t matter what you say Olive Garden… the truth of the matter is this, your words mean nothing and the ass-whipping you’re about to receive is going to show you, and your little group of ass-pirates, that you guys are nothing here.

You should all pick up your things and just fucking leave.

Once we step inside the squared circle, you’re going to realize you’re way in over your head. You might wet yourself, but listen, don’t be scared. The most painful part of the night is when my foot connects with your face. Then you’ll hit the mat, I’ll pin you. The match will be over, then you can run and tuck your tail between your legs.

See, simple pimple.

So like I said earlier. Make your jokes.

But don’t forget to say your prayers. Because by night’s end, you won’t be the same.

And come hell or high water, your ass isn’t leaving Goodfella’s with a victory over me. Of that I am certain.

________________________________________________________________

:: Randomosity ::
________________________________________________________________


The following story serves no purpose with the rest of this promo. It’s just here to further a story.

Now don’t be a little bitch with your chit-chat.

Just show me where my…. wins at.

[Walking down from his hotel room to meet a good friend of his for lunch, Chris Bond takes a left, then a right, then two more lefts, and another right before stopping in front of the elevator. He pushes the ‘down’ button and waits. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding… the bell counts down, mere floors away. Chris looks down and notices his shoe is untied, so he bends down and, well, ties his shoe. DING. The doors open, and Chris looks up, and sees a pretty little blonde staring down at him. She’s got her phone out and Chris smiles before standing up and stepping into the elevator.]

“Shoe was untied.”
He says with a smile.

[She just awkwardly smiles back and continues on with her texting. Moments later, his phone starts to vibrate and then Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” starts going off. She looks at him, finding it odd that a muscle bound, 6’3” man covered in tattoos had quite the girly ringtone. She just shrugged it off. He must be gay, she assumed.]

“It’s a text.”
He replied, as if she cared.

[Suddenly, there was a ding and she smiled a little bit as they were at her floor. She stepped out and looked back, still amazed that “Tik Tok” was his ringtone.]

“It’s a catchy song!”
He exclaimed.

[She chuckled to her self. He rolled his eyes and the doors closed and the elevator was on it’s way. He flipped open his phone and clicked the okay button, reading the text.]

“Bondoloid, got a prop 4 ya. Call me @ 4:20.”

[He couldn’t believe it. How could he get his number… and what could HE… of ALL PEOPLE… want!? As another ding went off, the elevator doors opened and Bond just shrugged it off, exiting the moving box and making his way towards the Strip. Bond put his phone away and went about with his day, unsure of what proposition was awaiting him.]
Posted Image
Posted Image

ATH: Reaper Edition I & II - Winner

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · sVo Showdown RP Archive · Next Topic »
Add Reply

threesixty by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone