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Limp
Topic Started: Mar 31 2010, 04:38 AM (258 Views)
Xtreme Fusion
sVo Superstar
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When we last left Limp he was in a Bakery caught in the middle of a food fight. The good news is that there were a bunch of beautiful women there as well… not like that is a strange thing for Limp. Today we are meeting up with Limp and his 6 remaining beautiful girls… and the 1 accidental ugly one. Tonight three more girls will be eliminated from the competition to become Limp’s Assistant for the Xtreme Fusion and the competition will happen in a familiar place for some…. LIMPBURGER. We join Limp outside his ‘marvelous’ establishment where Limp is standing right next to a big Red “L” that has “Limpburger” written across it.

Limp: Welcome SVO’sers to Limpburger! This is my chain of fast food restaurants that have been making me rich for years. Did you guys hear that? I’ll repeat it again for those of you with hearing aids that need to turn them on or up. This here is Limp's creation, is my fast food chain that has been making me filthy stinking rich for years. I hope you heard that Chris Wrestling, you see nobody can ever claim that Limp made his riches off a slot machine. The first ever Xtreme Fusion Training Facility is where I made my money. Gambling and winning more money is just a hobby of mine, and when I have even more money to play with I build more Training Facilities, or more Limpburgers, or go off on some other new adventure. But you wouldn’t know anything about that Corporation, because you don’t know the real Limp. But at Resurrection you’re going to experience ‘Nookie Shock’ first hand.

But The Corporation isn’t the reason we are gathered here today ladies and germs. We are here to meet up with the hot women that are fighting for the right to be my secretary for the Xtreme Fusion….. and then that one ugly girl that cost the casting director his job. Walk with me inside and I will reveal the competition to you guys.

We follow Limp into Limpburger where the ladies are all lined up waiting for instructions from Limp. The restaurant has a modest crowd in it considering it is 8pm. About half of the seats are filled and the line at the counter has only about 4 families in it. Limp paces in front of the ladies like a drill sergeant does with his students at boot camp.

Limp: Ladies today we are going to split into…. Wait a second. Who is missing here?

Limp starts to look at the girls and notices that 1 is not there. There is Mallory, Margaret, Megan, Mia, Meredith, and Mercedes.

Limp: Where in the hell is McKenzie?

Limp waits for someone to speak up… eventually Mercedes (the ugly one) steps up.

Limp: Whoa! You gotta warn Limp before you take any steps closer to him. Jeesh you trying to kill me? I suppose you know what happened to McKenzie… well?

Mercedes stands silent for a second and then finally breaks her silence with that horrible un-womanly voice.

Mercedes: I believe she was forced to quit Israel.

Limp: Whoa whoa whoa. First things first, you don’t get to call me Israel. You guys refer to me as Limp or Mr. Limp. Second of all do you smoke like 12 packs a day or something? You need to quit that stuff man you sound horrible. And finally, what do you mean she was forced to quit? Nobody is forced to quit this competition unless I eliminate them… thus forcing them to quit!

Mercedes: Well she was injured in the food fight when a banana hit her right in her eye. She was taken to the hospital and I believe she is done now.

Limp: Hell yeah she is done now. Limp waits for nobody, and I am not about to have a weak secretary who will miss work because a little banana poked her in the eye. That’s just simply unmarvelous.

Mercedes steps back in line and Limp starts up his drill sergeant pacing again.

Limp: Now with the 6 of you left here is what we are going to do. We are going to split you into two teams of three. Mallory, Margaret, and Megan are on one team and Mia, Meredith and Mercedes you are on the other team. Your goal ladies, is to see who can sell the most Limpburgers in 20 minutes. There are only two rules. Rule number one is that you cannot buy the burgers yourself; they must be purchased by a guest. Rule number two, there is no discounting the burgers. You must find ways all by yourself to sell the burgers without the cheapness of announcing a “sale”. We don’t do mark-downs here at Limpburger… it’s all rack rate, all the time.

Now let’s not hold up this competition any longer then we already have. On your mark, get set….. GO!

The two teams of ladies rush off to gather their burgers from behind the counter and begin to set up their own little Limpburger stands right there in the lobby of Limpburger. Meanwhile we follow Limp away from the action and sits down in a corner booth.

Limp: I understand that to the other losers in this Tag Team Title match at the PPV DVD and I are unproven wrestlers. In fact The Corporation has pretty much proven to the entire World that they don’t know a damn thing about us. So let me tell you a little bit about us. We're the greatest tag team in the entire world, and we hail from the greatest wrestling city ever… that being Fajardo, Puerto Rico. When we where in XWF last we did nothing but manhandle pieces of trash on a weekly basis. But more importantly then all of that, we are the team that none of you will ever be. You pathetic losers can only hope to achieve half as much as we have in our wrestling careers.

You see Corporation we don’t run around trying to make ourselves look like something we're not. We are what we say we are… and that’s Marvelous. We don’t try to sit here and try to make ourselves look like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, when in all actuality your displays look more like horribly choreographed versions of the Nut Cracker.

Corporation, nobody buys this ‘macho’ man façade you try to employ. You think you’re big men on campus because you’ve been around the world? Well guess what? Xtreme Fusion has spent some time travelling the world too. I was thrown in jail amongst rapists and murderers and all I did was steal Brittney Spears ink pen. And then when I was released I fought in my greatest match of my entire career…. The Ultimate Iron Match against Canadian Crippler. Meanwhile you were probably just made to be ‘Bubba’s lil play toy’. While in jail you probably got poked in your butts more times then a diabetic pokes their fingers.

But you know what Corporation I do have to give you some credit. You’re not as pathetic as Chris Bond. I’m already sick and tired of hearing this guy promote a match against a blow up doll. He has no self confidence and in a way I can’t blame him. If I had to step into the ring with someone like Limp I’d be nervous and full of self doubt too and would prefer to fight a doll.

The Corporation does have a cute little story though. You know they're running from their past demons and mistakes. They feel as if they have to win this match to start their “good Samaritan” turn. Who in the f*ck cares? What did people ever do for you? You know what the fans have done for Limp? Not a damn thing. It makes no difference to me if they cheer for me of if they want my opponent to win. They have no effect on the outcome of a wrestling match. Do you know who does have an effect on the ending of a wrestling match? I do! At Resurrection you’re going to lose Corporation… not because a poll says so, not because the fans say so, but because Xtreme Fusion says so.

We take a brief moment to pause from Limp and glance over at the ladies. The team of Mallory, Margaret, and Megan have a long line of patrons in front of their stand. Meanwhile the other team of Mia, Meredith, and Mercedes have a much shorter line. But then their line starts to get a few more people in it just because it’s a shorter wait then the other one.

Limp: Heh… that’s a lucky little twist of fate for the ugly lady and her team. Speaking of luck, that is the only way that The Corporation walk out of the PPV still the SVO Tag Team Champions. Take DJ for example, on his best day of the week he couldn’t defeat a superstar the caliber of Limp. Not even if I was having my worst day, it just isn’t something that is going to happen. The only ‘possible’ way is an unfortunate ‘lucky’ turn of events that has been known to happen from time to time in this business. But as I’ve proven in the past, Limp doesn’t have bad luck.

Just to further prove my point… did anyone hear the news on Chris Wrestling? All of a sudden Wrestling may not be at the PPV due to some sort of “crisis”. Limp doesn’t care if Wrestling makes it to the PPV or not. The only thing it changes for me is if we beat two other opponents or just one, because when it is all said and done Xtreme Fusion will be the next SVO Tag Team Champions.

Limp is distracted by some loud noises coming from the opposite side of the restaurant where the competition is taking place. Limp gets up to go investigate the matter. As we approach we see that the Team of Mallory, Megan, and Margaret have run out of Limpburgers.

Limp: What in the heck is going on over here?

Margaret: Well we figured the best way to beat our opponents over there was to open up a kissing booth. You buy the burger and get a free kiss from one of us.

Limp: Not a bad idea.

Margaret: Yeah that is what we thought too… until we ran out of burgers.

Limp: Well perhaps instead of sitting here you could go to the kitchen and grab some more.

Mercedes appeared to be listening to Limp and Margaret’s conversation and Mercedes gathers Mia and Meredith and quickly comes up with a game plan.

Mercedes: Listen, I know we grabbed more Limpburgers then our opponents at the beginning of this competition. They now have to go get more and I was listening to them and they’re giving away kisses if you buy a burger.

Mia: So what do you think we should do? Copy them?

Mercedes: Yes and no. We give away kisses to our customers just like them… but if they buy a burger from over there I’ll give them a kiss.

Mia and Meredith look on kind of confused but then Mercedes jumps up on a table.

Mercedes: Attention everyone! We are also giving away free kisses with Limpburgers, however only Mia and Meredith are going to be kissing our customers. I on the other hand will be kissing anyone who buys one from our competition.

With that announcement being made every single person that was in line at the other booth moves over into the other line.

Limp: And perhaps that is even a better strategy.

Limp glances at his watch and notices that there isn’t a lot of time left in the competition... currently the team of Megan, Mallory, and Margaret are in the lead. But with the change of luck and fortune right here it looks like the other team is primed for a comeback. Mallory gets back from the kitchen with bunch of burgers but looks panicked when she notices they have no customers anymore. The three girls then start to worry as they discuss a new plan.

Limp: You see that is what my opponents are going to look like on Sunday at Resurrection. They are going to be dazed and confused because they don’t know what is coming at them. We are machines and we will not be stopped until we are the SVO Tag Team Champions. If they don’t like it there are two things they can do about it… NOTHING, and LIKE IT!

With that being said a timer going off telling Limp that the contest is over. Limp walks up to the two cash registers and quickly prints off a little receipt that tells him the total amount of money brought in by the two teams. Limp looks at them for a minute and then just smiles. He looks up at the two teams and begins to speak.

Limp: It was a very close contest this week ladies. Mercedes, Mia, and Meredith if you three could please step up to the counter.

The three ladies approach the counter looking a little dejected.

Limp: You girls put up a ‘marvelous’ effort this week. And it pains me to have to inform you of this... but… YOU WON!

The three girls duck and Limp pulls a soda gun out from under the counter and sprays Mallory, Margaret, and Megan with pop soaking them from head to toe. The scene fades as Limp continues to hose down the girls.
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