| Topping the Charts pt. 1; Showdown RP #1 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 12 2008, 04:28 AM (105 Views) | |
| Zero | Jul 12 2008, 04:28 AM Post #1 |
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sVo Contender
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[The scene fades in on Anthony Moretti, Zero, and Steven Steele, all standing together amid the bustling crowds of McCarran International Airport. Out of the three men, only Moretti seems comfortable around the chaos] Zero - Tony, remind me why we are here again? [Moretti sighs, and turns to face Zero] Moretti - Zero, I told you. This is my latest idea to raise the popularity of Bad Religion. We are going to record and release a song, and we are meeting Oscar Fields here today to discuss it with him. He's a very well-know music producer. Zero - Oscar Fields? Never heard of him. Moretti - He likes to keep to himself, anyway, he's going to be here any minute, and just let me do all the talking okay? This is the guy who will help us reach out to a whole new audience, and if it takes off and is a huge hit, it will put a lot of pressure on the sVo to take you guys seriously. Zero/Steele - Yes boss... [A figure can be seen cutting through the crowd. The man is huge, easily towering over all three members of Bad Religion. He is unshaven and unkempt, wearing a dirty brown jacket and black shades, carrying a dented suitcase, and talking loudly into a cell phone] Man - Well, you can tell him to fuck off! If he wants a fucking spa bath filled with fucking champagne in his dressing room, he can fucking pay for it himself! Moretti - I think thats the guy. Man - Tell him it's a deal breaker! And if he doesn't like it, the tours off. [The man ends the call, folding up the phone and sliding it into his pocket. He squints down at the three men standing in front him in, and Steele timidly holds up a piece of cardboard with "Fields" scrawled on it] Man - Right, which one of you is Anthony Moretti? Moretti - Uh, yeah, that’s me, Oscar isn't it? Man - Uh, yeah... [Oscar digs into his pocket and pulls out a small bottle. He unscrews the lid, and shakes it a little on his palm. Two pink pills pop out, and he throws them back into his mouth. He puts the lid back on and returns the bottle to his pocket] Oscar - That's better... Moretti - Are you okay Mr. Fields? Oscar - Nah... ugh... I just haven't slept for a few days... Zero - Whoa, rock and roll man! [Both Oscar and Moretti stare at Zero. Zero shrugs, and both men shake their heads] Oscar - Fuckin' idiot... Moretti - Anyway, this is my pussy, as I think you call it in the music industry, this is Zero, and this is- Oscar - Uh, don't you mean posse? Moretti - Oh. Yes, posse, that's what I meant. Anyway, this is Zero, this is Steven, and I'm, well, you already know who I am. Oscar - How are you all? Zero - Yeah, hey man... Steele - Hey... Oscar - Well, okay, here's the deal alright? We're going to- [Suddenly, Oscar's cell phone begins to ring, and he holds up a finger as he fishes it out of his pocket. He flips it open and holds it to his ear] Oscar - Axl, hey man, how are you? Nah, nah, I'm fine, I just haven't been to sleep yet. Yep? Tonight? I'll try and get my people to call you, we'll work something out okay? No, thats fine. Okay boy, we'll be there. Okay. Bye. [Oscar folds the phone up and returns it to his pocket] Oscar - Sorry. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. Okay, heres the deal. I don't know a lot about wrestling, but some people in my office are big fans and they think a couple of guys who wear tights for a living recording a song might have legs okay? Wrestling is a big hit with the kids, so we'll be aiming it that way, and wrestling is always popular, so timing doesn't matter. So what we'll do is- [Suddenly, Oscar's phone begins to ring again. He rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone] Oscar - Hello? Bono! How are you? Nah, nah, I just haven't slept yet, big night. I'm with a couple of wrestlers here man, so if you could- Peter Gilmour? Nah, a couple of others. Yeah, I know you hate him. What? Backing vocals? Um, yeah, I'll see what I can do. Anyway, I'll be in London next week, we'll meet up then okay? Okay. Bye man. [Oscar ends the call and shakes his head] Oscar - Bono, what can I say? [All three members of Bad Religion shake theirs heads sympathetically] Oscar - Okay then. So. What we're going to do, is getting a really hot band, a gun producer and engineer, and create a grungy, rocky sort of sound okay? Then we'll throw you three guys into the studio and hope we can drag a half-decent vocal out of you, and if it works, we'll have ourselves the novelty hit of the summer. Okay? Moretti - Yeah, I think we all "dig" where you are coming from here, haha. Oscar - Um. Yeah... [Oscar's phone rings again, and the so-call music mogul answers it. He turns around, facing away from Bad Religion] Oscar - Hello? Billy? Hey man. No, I'm fine, I just haven't been to sleep yet. Big night last night. Yeah, anyway... Wait, you're pulling the Smashing Pumpkins out of the August shows? Wait, well, you gotta make the dates up sometime, I'm not refunding the tickets... Um. Yeah. Okay. I'll fly out to Chicago in a day or two, we'll meet up and discuss what we will do. Okay? Bye. [Oscar ends the call, and puts the phone back into his pocket] Oscar - Okay. It's all set then. But before I even let you near my studio, all three of you guys need a serious overhaul. You're about as cool as melted ice cream. Moretti - We are cool, thank you very much! Oscar - No, you're not. Here. Go to this address. I'll set up a guy to teach you guys street slang, and just what it takes to get in touch with today’s youth. [Oscar scrawls an address down on a pad, tears off the page and hands it to Moretti] Moretti - Well, uh, thanks Mr. Fields. [Oscar nods, and pulls out his phone again. He dials a number, and begins to talk] Oscar - Hey? Hello? Donny? Yeah it's me, Oscar. Yeah listen, I need a favour. Yeah, I'm calling the one you owe me after the Kowalski incident. I still have those pictures, do you really want me to send 'em in? That's what I thought. Listen, I have some very unhip, uncool people that I'm about the record with, and I need you to, well, uh, make them as hip and cool as soon as possible. Well, it's not gonna be easy. But you can start by filling them in on street language, so can I send 'em over later today? Yeah, I'm in Vegas. Yep. Okay. See you soon. [Oscar ends the call and smirks at the members of Bad Religion] Oscar - Okay, that was Donny Richards, he's helped people like Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Britney, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, all of 'em are only cool today because of this guy. Okay? Go to that address, he'll be waiting for you. Okay? Moretti - Uh, yeah, that should be fine. Oscar - Leave everything to me, okay? I'll handle it. You guys just go and become cool. Fast. Moretti - Sure. Thanks for all this, Oscar. Oscar - No problem. Now, I gotta go. You guys just go and meet up with Donny okay? Moretti - Sure. [Oscar walks away from the members of Bad Religion, again chatting away on his cellphone] Oscar - Hello? Sting? Hey buddy, yeah, we'll have to... [The conversation fades away as the crowd swallows Oscar up. Moretti turns to Zero and Steele] Moretti - Okay. Let's go meet this guy. Later that day, somewhere in Vegas... [The scene fades in on the three members of Bad Religion, standing in a seemling-empty warehouse on the outskirts of Las Vegas] Steele - Is this right address Tony? It looks like this place hasn't seen human occupation for years... Moretti - Yes yes, I'm sure! This is the address Oscar gave me! Zero - But, Tony, look at this place- Moretti - Look, Zero, this song could be our one big chance to get the support we need! I'm not gonna screw it up! This is the right place, I promise you! [All three men stare each other down, ready for an argument. Suddenly, there is a timid knock on the warehouse door] Moretti - Uh... come in? [A door at the far end of the warehouse opens, and a man looking to be in his late twenties, with long blonde hair and a wide grin appears, dressed in the latest designer clothing] Moretti - Um... Donny? [The man grins even wider as he walks towards the members of Bad Religion] Donny - That would be me. I can see what Oscar meant, you guys are definitely the most uncool people I have ever seen! [Bad Religion look at each other and frown] Moretti - Yes, well, let me introduce my pussy to you, this is- Zero - Uh, Tony, it's posse, not pussy. Moretti - Oh. Fuck. I'll get that right one day... Anyway, Donny, this is Zero, and this is Steven. Donny - Well. Okay, Oscar gave me a call and said he wanted me to roll you in the dirt a bit and, y'know, teach you the language of the rappers and the hip-hoppers. Moretti - Uh, that's okay, but we are cool already. But, I think you should just refresh our memories... we're putty in your hands Donny. Donny - Okay then. Now, I want you to each take one of these and study them- [Donny begins handing out yellow textbooks to Moretti and his cohorts, and they also each recieve a copy of "Street Slang for Dummies"] Donny - Keep them, take them home and read them okay? But firstly, we'll work through it together. The first word is "sick". Now, can anyone tell me what that means? Zero - Haha, the old curbside quiche? Yeah, I've been there a few times in my life- Donny - Um, no. The word sick actually means good. And "fully sick", means something really, really good. Zero - Jeez, I can't work that out! Thats just bizarre! Donny - Don't try and work it out man, just take it on board! Moretti - Yes Zero. Don't work it out. Just take it on board... Donny - Alright. Now, does anyone know what "phat" means on the streets? Zero - Oh yeah, it means lardass! Tubby Taylor! [Steven and Zero both begin to laugh, and Donny rolls his eyes. He leans in close to Moretti] Donny - Is there any chance of getting that guy to shut the fuck up? Moretti - Ah yes, behave yourself please Zero! Come on you guys, concentrate! Donny - Now, in the language of the rapper, there are a few expressions that convey something is good, or is appreciated. As well as sick and phat, there is also wicked, and gnarly, sweet as is also a way of saying good, so is pimpin', horns up, is also a way of showing appreciation that something is cool. Now, what you do with this expression is hold your ring finger and your middle finger down against the palm of your hand, using your thumb like so... [Donny demonstrates the technique to Bad Religion] Donny - And you point your index finger and your pinky up in the air, making the shape, of the devil's horns! Now, can you all try to do it? Moretti - Like this? Steele - I can do it! Zero - Um, Tony, I can't um, do this... Donny - What's wrong? Moretti - Oh, years of wrestling have left Zero's fingers like a pack of Cheetos. Donny - Oh, well, he can skip that one, but for you two, to finish off the horns up, you just need to do that gesture and say "Horns up!" or pull some kind of facial expression that conveys "Hey man, this shit is wicked!" Zero - I can get my pinky in the air... Donny - Yeah... it's just not the same though is it? Anyway, now I want to talk about greetings. Now, a rapper or a hip-hopper wouldn't say "Hey man, whats going on," he would say" Yo, what's up," or "What's crackin' playa?" Zero - Haha, that's bullshit, I can't believe it! Donny - Dude, shut the fuck up. Moretti - Stop interrupting Zero! Donny - Tony, look, at the end of the day it doesn't matter, Oscar is paying me by the hour to do this. Okay, now the next word is "mad", as in "It's mad hot in here!" [The scene fades out, showing Bad Religion looking at each other and shrugging, and Donny rolling his eyes. It's going to be a long day...] |
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12:56 AM Jul 11