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Too Much For One Man; Showdown 32
Topic Started: Jul 11 2008, 08:58 PM (82 Views)
Tsalmavet
Dark Shadows
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[Mental Thoughts of A Lost Mind]

A mental image that can scare one for eternally is what I am cursed with at this very moment. Unable to speak out, because he cannot hear what's ripping me apart mentally, emotionally! I went to Showdown to impress my son, and what I got for my actions, was my own creation, embarrassing me in front of him...With help from trainers and a few referees, when I returned to the locker room, I saw it.

A child with tears running down his eyes, screaming for his father, SCREAMING FOR ME! Maybe I have gotten in over my head. I am far from a young fuck, looking to make his name a memory one will never forget. My mark was left years ago, and I am now surrounded by guys who I have almost ten years of age on, ten years of body abuse, mental damage, and torture of emotions that none can relate too. I started off like a ball of fire, an inferno unable to be put out. It was like youth found me, and I was twenty years old again, climbing into a ring for the first time.

I now sit here, aching, feeling every bump, bruise, and cut on my body. My mental edge, it disappeared somewhere, and I have no clue where to find it. I have no one to help me look for it either. Maybe I am in over my head. I demanded a match against the champion, and I got it. I should be excited, but yet, I am in doubt. I could not defeat his lackey, how in the hell can I beat him? I am far from the same man who he went against a month or so back, to earn his shot. I had the edge, I had the focus. All I have now is, a son who disappointed in me, and world that is steadily crumbling before my very eyes. I'm hating all of this, I'm hating myself most of all!

Not to mention my match in August, but just a few days away, I must go up against a man who would love to make his name even bigger by destroying me. A man who I share nothing in common with. A man who's beliefs are pointless, and fairytale like. Yes, your religion is ignorant, it's a weakness you have yet to see. Your God died ages ago, before his begotten son, and not a damn soul gives a damn. Faith is not something of power, it's nothing of solid value. It's an opinion you will never get me to agree with, a lie that no one has told you the truth about yet.

[Snap Out of IT!]

Sitting on my bed, inhaling a deep breath from the cold condo, I am unable to smile at the pure feeling of being in my home, my safe haven. Silk sheets against my skin, not soft enough to ease my pain, my emotional wreck. I hear the sounds of Sponge Bob coming from my living room. I know where my son is at, and hopefully, he is at peace for the moment. My white wife beater is soaked with sweat, from my over active thinking. I stretch out my arms, cock my head back slightly, and yawn, "ARHHHHHHH" exits from my vocal cords, and echoes in the hollow walls of my bedroom. The memory of Dory is missing, as everything that reminded me of her, I had thrown out. It's mainly my bed, my dresser, and my television in my room. Simple, yet, it's me...

"Am I, what I fear the most, of being? A man, unable to follow through with what he has promise! A soul, lacking a body to keep grounded. Wandering like a lost puppy, lacking the feel of love, the excitement of joy, and the taste of food and water on my dried tongue. Unable to drool, unable to rest! A meaningless word, echoed in an empty forest for no one to hear or make sense of! A brain barely holding on, damaged for the world to poke fun of. Some sad sap, on the corner of the street, begging for your spare change. Due to the fact I am unable to cope with life afterwards. After the wars, after the images that haunt me! Am I anything more than just SOME GUY?!'

I look down, viewing the palms of my hands. I slowly move them over my face, covering it with them, and shaking my head, forcing my face to rub back and forth in them, heating both the palms and face. I pause, and gently run my palms over my face and my bald head, reaching the back, and stopping.

"I've been to the top every mountain I ever tried to climb...Like some slave, I am beaten and abused, forced to this. Is it for my pleasure, or for yours? I've never blamed someone else for my problems, my faults. At where I am at now, is not to blamed anywhere else, but at me. However, do you honestly feel I am some sort of savior of your kind? Through the wasteland I have walked. Sometimes, I was joined by others, and at other times...I stood alone, and had to battle whatever came before me. From the bottom of this mountain, I started. Atop has been three men since I have been here, none with my name, yet at least. In order to proclaim the KINGDOM and to sit on my THRONE...I have a long ways to travel, and a few more demons to battle on my way. Each one hoping to gain a piece of me, so when if I am knocked down, they can step up, or! If I win, they have rights to claim contendership at what I have. Does being a target make a difference? You are either the hunted or the hunter. Sometimes, you are both, like I am at this moment. It never makes a difference if you at bottom, middle, near it or on the, top...You are one of the two or both! It's life, it's what this business is made of, it's what we strive to achieve! To be the most hunted, is to be the biggest prey in the woods, and the one everyone wants to mount on their wall. However, I can inform you now, I am not your fucking trophy piece, so deem that right for someone else. I am not the guy you want to set you aim on for too long. A quick shot, is okay, but anything longer, and you become my PREY!"

I remove my hands off the back of my bald head, and grab the covers on my body, and fling them off like paper flying lightly in the wind. I throw myself around, feet hitting the floor lightly from the left side of the bed. I take my right hand and rub my face to help me get motivated for the day.

"Son, you want to make your name bigger at my expense? Be my guest. Defeating you, it means nothing. You are below me, and will never gain enough steam to over me. You defeating me, gives you the strength to attempt an upraise, but you will fall short fast, being nothing more than what you already are. A merely pathetic champion in a lower class status. I have no sorrows for you, nor do I have shame for what may happen at Showdown. You want to be something infamous in this wasteland, but you are nothing more than a cum for a lifetime, stain that will be a black light laugh at the end of the day. No matter how you word it, in whatever language you want to translate it in. You are a mere joke, a carnival attraction, and will soon fade away in body and mind. Your name will be nothing that rings a bell!

While you spend your days wasting everyone's time, you could just save yourself time and energy, as well as the rest of us, and just drift away. At the end of the day, you'll still be a Hardcore Champion, and I will still be the number one contender at the sVo Championship! Win, lose, or draw, I have my spot at the top, you still need to earn yours kid! Until then, I a few words of advice. FUCK OFF! This is my chance to make my name stick in sVo, and you'll just be another opponent that has either loss too, or beaten, The Golden One, Travis Williams!"

I throw my body out, standing up. I looking around the dim room, and start heading forward towards the doorway. Just about twenty feet in front of me, sits my son. On my black leather couch, bouncing around, to the sounds of Sponge Bob screaming, "I'M READY, I'M READY!" as he repeats it slightly a second behind him. I walk towards him, taking a sharp right into my kitchen and head for the stainless steel fridge. Opening it up, I remove a bottle of Dole Apple Juice, and close the door.

The kid never even takes notice of me, as I shake the bottle, making sure to follow the "SHAKE WELL BEFORE OPENING" directions on the bottle closely. Turning the blue lid, I open up the apple juice and toss the cap on the bar top counter between the dinning room and kitchen. I walk out to the left, faced with either sitting at my dinning room table or joining my overly happy son on the couch for some memorable father and son SPONGE BOB BONDING MOMENTS!

I decide to take a seat beside my life's pride and joy, that would be Trenton by the way, as his eyes light up when he finally realizes I am up and moving around! "MORNING DADDY!" He wraps his arms around me tightly, never taking his eyes off the ignorant NICK cartoon that is infesting my expensive DLP Television, but I cannot turn it, he loves it. "Morning my son, are you hungry?"

Some of you may get sick here, this is where we spend time talking to one another, so either exit the place now, or go on. He looks directly at me...

"Yes I am!"

"What would you like to eat Trenton?"

He gets that funny "I AM THINKING" look, as he taps his head a few times...

"I want some French Toast!"

"Is that it?"

"I also want some Orange Juice!"

I am now amused, so young, but he knows what he likes...

"I hope you do realize Trenton...Daddy is not the greatest cook in the world. Orange juice I can do, but French Toast, that might have to be something Denny's or IHOP will have too! Want to go to one of them?"

A big grin comes over his face, and he jumps on my couch...

"YES!"

"Calm down Trenton, you going to bust your head on the glass top table, and your mom would come up here and kill Daddy, and we do not want that!"

He sits back down, as he shakes his head no to what I have said about mom...

"So which one do you want to go too?"

"IHOP!"

So there you have it. The kid not only has his mind made on what he wants, but also where he wants it from. I was hoping Denny's, I could have gotten a beer with my steak and eggs, but I guess I will go have some blue berry pancakes and some coffee instead. Maybe this father thing is not as bad as I was stressing it to be. The whole last week at Showdown thing seems to be out his mind. But at that age, things only effected me for a few hours, after that, it was forgotten history storied in a part of my mind that would later be discovered by some doctor who charges a hundred dollars an hour to hear me whine about my childhood...

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The Dark Shadows
Travis Williams
I Evolve With Time!
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