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Behind the Yellow Line; #5
Topic Started: Jun 28 2008, 09:45 PM (295 Views)
Frank James
sVo Contender
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Narrator ‘Frank and Rick had spent the better part of two days sitting on various greyhound busses. Rick was able to keep Frank appeased with several bottles of alcohol, but they had recently run out.’

We fade in to a shot of Frank and Rick sitting on a crowded greyhound bus.

Frank ‘I’m going to ask.’

Rick ‘Please don’t.’

Frank ‘I’m going to.’

Frank gets up out of his seat and begins making his way to the front of the bus.

Rick ‘Frank please don’t do this.’

Frank gets to the front of the bus and stands next to the driver.

Frank ‘Hey boss do you guys …’

Driver ‘Stand behind the yellow line please.’

Frank doesn’t move.

Frank ‘Look, I’m just trying to find out if you have …’

Driver ‘Please sir, stand behind the yellow line.

Frank ‘Dude why does it matter where I’m stan …’

The Driver’s eyes widen as he slams on the breaks. Frank reaches out for something to hold onto but, after not being able to find anything, gets thrown face first off the large windshield. As we pan to the right we see that a car had stopped short in front of the bus.

Driver ‘That’s why I asked you to stay behind the yellow line. It’s very dangerous up here sir.’

Frank slowly peels himself off the window and falls to his knees. He begins crawling toward the back of the bus as it begins moving again. Frank get behind the yellow line and, still kneeling, looks up at the driver.

Frank ‘I just wanted to know if you guys serve alcohol.’

Driver ‘… of course we don’t.’

Frank ‘Spectacular.’

Frank crawls back to his seat and pulls himself up into it.

Rick ‘I told you.’

Frank looks over at Rick and smiles.

Frank ‘That just means you have to go find me some.’

Rick ‘Where am I going to find you alcohol on this bus? Look around man, it’s a bunch of old ladies going up to Canada to get cheap medication.’

Frank looks around the bus and notices that it is indeed filled with old ladies.

Frank ‘Hmm … well, they had to have brought some pills with them right?’

Rick ‘Well, yeah but you’ve had like three bottles of …’

Frank ‘Oh I’m sorry I forgot you were a doctor.’

Rick ‘You don’t have to be a doctor to know you shouldn’t take medication after drinking. They have the warning right on the bottle.’

Frank ‘Where?’

Rick ‘You know the little picture of the glass with the line through it?’

Frank ‘I always thought that was a check mark.’

Rick ‘No it’s a line … meaning don’t drink.’

Frank ‘I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with you there.’

Rick ‘I’ll show you.’

Rick gets up and begins making his way towards the back of the bus. Frank looks into the camera and smiles.

Voice ‘Excuse me sonny.’

An old shriveled hand reaches out and grabs Frank’s shoulder. He jumps away in horror and then begins trying to wipe off this shirt.

Frank ‘WHAT!?’

The camera pans over and down to find a small old lady.

Narrator ‘Frank had always been creeped out by contact with the elderly, but recently had spent time trying to overcome his phobia.’

We cut to a shot of Frank sitting at a cafeteria table in a bingo hall. He is surrounded by elderly people, but appears to be fine. He carefully marks his card and as the last number is read Frank jumps out of his seat.

Frank ‘BINGO! I got a bingo!’

An old lady walks over to Frank’s table, and he leans back away from her, as she checks his card.

Old Lady ‘We have a good bingo! Congratulations!’

The Old Lady puts her hand up to offer Frank a high five and, without thinking, Frank reaches up and smacks her hand. He jumps back the second he makes contact, and begins cringing before throwing up on the floor in between them.

Narrator ‘Needless to say he was unsuccessful.’

We cut back to the bus.

Old Lady ‘I’m sorry did I scare you.’

Frank looks over at her and is visibly freaked out.

Frank ‘You’re still kind of scaring me.’

Old Lady ‘I’m sorry I just need some help. Do you think you could reach under my seat and grab my purse? I’m just not as flexible as I used to be.’

Frank ‘… sure.’

Frank reaches down cautiously, leaning away from the old lady. He grabs her purse between his thumb and index finger and hands it to her.

Old Lady ‘Thank you. Here let me give you some candy.’

Frank ‘Oh no I don’t want any candy … that’s ok.’

Old Lady ‘Don’t be silly. Everyone likes candy.’

Frank covers his eyes with his hand and shakes his head, as the old lady reaches into her purse. After fishing around for a few seconds she pulls out a metal flask, screws off the lid, and takes a sip.

Old Lady ‘Here ya go …’

Frank, with one hand still over his eyes, reaches out an open hand expecting to have some, old unwrapped, candy dropped in it. The old Lady sets the flask on Frank’s hand and, as he feels it, Frank spreads his fingers and looks through his hand. When he sees the flask he uncovers his eyes and grabs it off his hand.

Frank ‘What’s a little old lady doing with a flask?’

Old Lady ‘Well, I ..’

Frank smells it.

Frank ‘Is this Jack?’

The old lady just smiles at Frank, as he smiles back and takes a big gulp. He goes to hand it back to the old lady, but pulls it back at the last second and takes another gulp, then reaches the flask out to her.

Frank ‘You know I’ve learned something today. Although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, you crazy old ladies can still serve a purpose.’

The old lady looks at Frank, disgusted, and quickly grabs the flask out of his hand.

Frank ‘Thank you.’

The old lady groans and turns away from Frank, as Rick returns with a pill bottle.

Rick ‘See, look right here.’

Frank turns to look at Rick and his eyes focus in on the bottle.

Frank ‘What are those?’

Rick ‘It’s not important. I just got it so I could show you the …’

Frank ‘You’re right who cares what they are, give ‘em.’

Frank reaches out to tries to grab the bottle but Rick holds it away from him.

Frank ‘Give it up!’

Rick ‘No, I’m just trying to show you …’

Frank and Rick begin fighting in their seats over the bottle.

Driver ‘Hey! Settle down back there or I’m kicking you off.’

Frank and Rick stop fighting.

Frank ‘Good job Rick!’

Rick ‘How is it my fault? I was just trying to show you this label.’

Rick reaches the bottle out in front of Frank’s face and points to the label. Frank acts like he is getting in closer to read it, but just snags it out of Rick’s hand. He quickly screws off the top and overturns it on his hand, but it is empty.

Rick ‘Yeah I already emptied them into my pocket, ‘because I knew you’d get your hands on the bottle. Just look at the label there … see it’s a line.’

Frank looks down at the bottle quickly and then tosses it on the floor.

Frank ‘Yeah great it’s a line. Make with the pills.’

Rick ‘No …’

Rick reaches down and grabs the bottle off the floor.

Rick ‘I need to get these back to Mrs. Featherbottom, and you need to think about your match.’

Frank ‘Mrs. … Featherbottom?’

Rick ‘Yeah that sounded weird to me too.’

Rick leans in and whispers to Frank.

Rick ‘To be honest it kind of looked like a guy dressed up as an old lady.’

Rick gets up and begins to walk to the back of the bus.

Frank ‘Wait.’

Rick stops and turns around.

Frank ‘You want me to think about the match … and I want pills. I think we can come to an agreement.’

Rick walks back over and sits down.

Rick ‘Alright, but we can’t just make fun of their names … we need to think about some strategy.’

Frank ‘Who needs strategy when you have jokes? Am I right?’

Rick ‘That doesn’t even make sense.’

Frank ‘… you don’t make sense.’

Rick shakes his head.

Rick ‘Look lets just focus on the match.’

Frank ‘I am focused. I remember all the nicknames I made up the other day. There was the C … Napoleon … and … there was another one right?’

Rick ‘There are seven other ones, but you’re thinking of Kaden Alo…’

Frank ‘That’s right girl’s name. See I’m ready for this match. Make with the pills.’

Rick ‘No, Frank … we didn’t even get to everyone’s name … and all you’ve done is make up nicknames.’

Frank ‘Like I said Ricky … what else is there?’

Rick ‘Like I said … strategy.’

Frank rolls his eyes.

Frank ‘Look I’m going to make up a nickname, and you’re going to give me a pill. Got it?’

Rick sighs.

Rick ‘I don’t even remember all the names.’

Frank ‘Well just pull out that IPhone.’

Rick ‘… we sold it.’

Frank ‘Oh yeah that’s right. I got you that sweet deal.’

Rick ‘Yeah you sold a three hundred dollar phone for forty bucks, thanks so much.’

Frank ‘No problem. Now make with the names.’

Rick leans his head back and starts moving it from side to side as he tries to remember the names.

Rick ‘Um … there was Rodiman …Rodiman … I think that’s it.’

Frank ‘Dennis Rodman!?’

Rick ‘No Dennis Rodman is a huge black guy … this is a short white guy with a 1950s robber mask.’

Frank ‘Well that’s a relief, and that’s a pill.’

Rick ‘What?’

Frank ‘Rodman … that’s his nickname, and that’s good for a pill.’

Rick ‘I don’t remember agreeing to that.’

Frank folds his arms, closes his eyes, and opens his mouth. Rick sighs, then reaches into his pocket, and tosses a pill into Frank’s mouth. After Frank catches it he sits back in his seat and swallows it with a big smile on his face.

Rick ‘Alright, how about Quinten Fa …’

Frank ‘What are you doing?’

Rick ‘Trying to give you these names.’

Frank ‘Why? I got a pill already.’

Rick ‘You only want one?’

Frank ‘While I appreciate that you’re trying to get me to OD, I’m feeling good. I got some Jack from his nice old la …’

When Frank looks over at the old lady he finds her passed out still clutching the flask. Frank gently pulls it out of her hand, and goes to take another drink but stops and holds it out in front of him instead. We fade to black as Frank turns over the flask and we see that it is empty.

Narrator ‘Next Time …’

When we fade back in we hear police sirens, and see their lights flashing on the side of the greyhound bus. We pan to the right and see the police questioning Rick.

Police Officer ‘Did you know it was illegal to bring medication across the boarder without a prescription?’

We see Frank getting off the bus very slowly. He looks over to the right and when he sees Rick talking with the police, he hides his face with his hand and walks in the opposite direction as we fade to black.
Worse than TJ Raven.
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