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76 Trombones; CD2V roleplay 2
Topic Started: Jun 27 2008, 07:24 PM (279 Views)
Alex Ross
The Perfect 10
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Seventy Six trombones led the big parade,
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand...


Parade? Did someone say parade? Oh the magic of that word. It brings back childhood memories for everyone, doesn't it? The 'rat-tat-tat' of the snare drums and the 'oom pa-pa' of the tubas. The taste of cotton candy, so sweet it could dissolve your teeth. On top of that, you have firetrucks with their sirens full of people with bags of candy, tossing it out to all of the boys and girls. Oh, they are magical indeed.

What's more magical than your standard Memorial Day parade? Of course, the parade that every child dreams of going to see in person, the largely televised Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! There are huge balloons of everyone's favorite characters, from Snoopy to Pikachu, there indeed is something for everyone. Why do we put so much work into these celebrations? For the sake of the children, of course. We do it to inspire the children. Being in the parade, for them, is a dream. It's largely comparable to that of professional wrestling. Children grow up watching suplexes and powerbombs, hoping that someday they could be in the squared-circle.

The idea of inspiration, following your dreams, it is all greatly upheld by the sVo World Champion, Psyko Stevo. He works to teach us that we should be proud and true to ourselves. His latest mission is that of holding his very own Psyko Stevo PRIDE Parade to capture his fans' hearts and minds, telling them that "It's okay to be proud of yourself". Oh, very touching.

Alex Ross, although against him this week at Countdown to Violence for the World Title in the main event, is not against Psyko Stevo in his celebration. 'The Perfect Ten' supports the idea of giving back to Las Vegas before the big match in Toronto. He supports honoring a legend like Psyko Stevo. Tonight Alex Ross will join in on the celebrations. In his journey down 5th avenue to Greenwich Village in New York City, after a day long trip from Toronto, the former International Champion is about to show us what we can expect from Psyko Stevo's very own PRIDE parade, and also a few words from his fans.

It's sunny out, the air is warm, but not too warm. The crowds are insane, you can barely walk on the sidewalks and the road is blocked off for traffic. You have floats of many colors traveling down, people on top of them dancing and celebrating. On the ground, along with the spectators dressed quite frivolously is Alex Ross. He's wearing his signature "10/10" t-shirt and khaki cargo shorts with an sVo microphone in hand. The crowds are loud, so when Ross begins to speak, it's actually more of a yell.


Ross: It's a bright and shiny day today, much like the bright and shiny atmosphere here on southbound 5th Avenue. The crowds are cheering and chanting, there is just so much damn pride that I can barely stand myself being here. This is indeed a sight to see, if you can stomach it. Yes, this is Alex Ross here at the annual New York City "PRIDE" parade, showing you what you can expect very soon on the Las Vegas Strip in Nevada. Perhaps no one is ready for what they are about to see, including me, but regardless... I support my opponent Psyko Stevo in his decision to show his own pride. First off, I'd like to thank my good friend Talon for the opportunity to broadcast this very "magical" moment for all to see, and I'd also like to thank Psyko Stevo for being so mature in the way that he has handled all of the recent media attention. Okay, now that my thank yous are said-and-done, I'd like to take a moment to talk to the people, see how they feel about all of this madness in the streets.

Alex Ross wanders over to the group closest to him and pokes a long blonde haired woman on the shoulder. He waves to her as she turns around and smiles. This was not the droid Alex Ross was looking for, oh no, this was a man. This is a man in drag, no less, pounds of thick makeup caked onto this bold face.

Sheman: Hey there, muscles.

Ross: Hi, I'm Alex Ross, Sanctioned Violence Organisation. Is it too much trouble to ask you a couple questions about the parade?

Sheman: Oh am I on television?

Ross: Yes, ma'am, you will be.

Sheman: How exciting!

Ross: Excitement, indeed. This is madness going on here. What about it has brought you here?

Sheman: Madness is right, I love love love love love love love it! We're here to SAY IT OUT LOUD that we are here and that we are PROUD to be here! People don't understand that they can pretend for forever that we don't exist but we are always going to be here. We can't deny our sexuality. If you can't be proud of what you are, then what can you be proud of?

Ross: A good insight for the folks at home. When did you come out?

Sheman: I came out... hmmm... It's been seven years two months ago.

Ross: And how did it feel to come out?

Sheman: It was exhilarating. It's like a rush of color comes into your life after all you've ever known was black and white.

Ross: Like that movie, Pleasantville?

Sheman: Exactly. When did you realize you were gay?

Ross: Oh, I'm not gay.

Sheman: Okay, silly. HOMOSEXUAL.

Ross: No, no, I mean I'm straight.

Sheman: Well that's a shame.

Ross: Okay, well... Have you heard anything about the big PRIDE parade in Vegas?

Sheman: No, I haven't.

Ross: Well I can tell you this much... A man by the name of Psyko Stevo is on top of it all, he's personally funding it and everything. I think it's going to be a big step for him in his pride and for others to be inspired by it.

Sheman: It sounds lovely.

Ross: Well I'll let you get back to your chanting, have fun.

Sheman: Thanks, hun.

Alex Ross side-steps slowly away from the person in the blonde wig slowly and uncomfortably. He nervously laughs and he finally gets the man out of camera sight and moves on to the next person. This man is brightly colored in his rainbow boa and purple wife-beater tanktop.

Ross: Good day to you, sir. I'm Alex Ross of the sVo and I'd like to talk to you for just a minute.

Boa-Man: You ain't a hater, are you? YOU ONE OF THOSE INTOLERANT BIBLE BUMPERS TRYIN' TO GET A LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE?!

Ross: No, I just want to ask you some questions about the parade.

Boa-Man: Oh, well just checkin'. Go ahead.

Ross: There's a big pride parade in Vegas coming up, it's just been announced. Have you heard anything about it?

Boa-Man: No. Are you sure it's LGBT?

Ross: I'm not sure what that means.

Boa-Man: Held by the official Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, and transsexual community.

Ross: It's being held by Psyko Stevo, my wrestling opponent this week for his title.

Boa-Man: PSYKO STEVO? OH MY GOD. You're a wrestler? I knew you looked familiar!

Ross: You're familiar with him?

Boa-Man: OH MY GOD YES YES YES I LOVE STEVO. HE INSPIRED ME TO COME OUT WHEN THINGS WERE HARDEST.

Ross: Ohhh... Really?

Boa-Man: Is it so hard to believe?! I was married with two children, so afraid they would all disown me... and they did. THEY DID BUT NOW I'M TRUE TO MYSELF AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, BUT I DID AND NOW I FEEL FREE AS A BIRD.

Ross: Alrigh...

Boa-Man: *singing* IF I LEAVE HERE TOMORROWW...

Ross: Okay, thank you.

Boa-Man: WOULD YOU STILL REMEMBER ME?!!!

Ross: Alright, I have to move on now.

Boa-Man: FOR I MUST BE TRAVELING ON NOWWWWWWWWW...

Ross: Okay, thanks.

Boa-Man: CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY PLACES I GOTTA SEE...

Ross: Fuck this. Bye.

Alex Ross strikes his face with his palm with stress and tries to move on in the program. The man singing, however, decides to get in front of the camera and finish his song.

Boa-Man: BUT IF I STAYED HERE WITH YOU GIIIIIRL, THINGS JUST COULDNT BE THE SA-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-AME! CAUSE IM FREE AS A BIIIIIRD NOW.... AND THIS BIRD YOU CAN NOT...

As the word "change" reaches the man's mouth, Alex Ross clotheslines him to the ground. The man squeals on impact, but is now entirely knocked out. The crowd around him gasps in shock, but their moods change quickly from surprised to angry. The mass of drag-queens and short-haired butches charge 'The Perfect Ten' Alex Ross with intentions to send him to the hospital. Ross is quick on his feet to get out through a nearby alley, but the angry mob follows close behind, glitter sparkling and feathers from boas flying through the air. As Ross flings crates and boxes that he passes backward to serve as obstacles to the masses, his cellphone goes off. Ross pulls it out to see who it is. Of course, it is none other than his friend Talon on the other line. Ross answers.

Talon: Hey Ross, what's up?

Ross: I'm being chased by fairies.

Talon: Yeah, I'm not really in the mood for sarcasm, the governor thing didn't really work out.

Ross: Not sarcasm. I can't talk. I'll call you when I reach safety.

Ross hangs up and tries to speed up a little. His nonstop training for this Pay-Per-View main event is paying off, as he can get just enough speed on the crowd to have turned the corner around a building and jump into a dumpster before they turn the corner aswell. As he lands in the trash, the angry mob of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals all rush by, confused as to where he could have gone.

Man: Find the hater and CRUSH HIM.

Butchy Woman: Let's try splitting up, he's got to be around here somewhere.

Alex Ross catches his breath in the dumpster, but not pleasantly, being a dumpster. The voices get quieter as they get further away. Ross felt like he had won the battle, but not the war. 'Freebird' was stuck in his head, after all. Nobody wins there. Finally, he can't take it any longer and he just has to sing it.

Ross: NOW IM FREEEEE AS A BIIIIIIRD...

As Alex Ross starts blasting the southern rock ballad, the voices stop entirely and all attention is brought back to that same corner that they had previously turned. The crowd creeps back, eventually everyone staring into the dumpster. Ross holds himself in the fetal position, hoping that the masses won't tear him to shreds.

Man: You hit an innocent man. Poor little Stuart, my little hemophiliac lover. You killed him.

Butchy Woman: Well not yet...

Man: But the internal bleeding won't stop.

Ross: I'm sorry. It wasn't anything against the gay community, I have a lot of gay friends in the sVo. It was just that guy, he got "Freebird" stuck in my head.

Man: That was his anthem!!

Ross: Yeah but it's fucking irritating.

Man: Oh the nerve! I oughta...

Butchy Woman: No... He's right. It is irritating...

Sheman: I agree.

Butchy Woman: The truth is, no one really liked Stuart aside from Roarke over here... But that's because they were together.

Sheman: Yeah, we always thought he was kind of a twat.

Ross: Wait, so... Are you guys still mad?

Butchy Woman: No... We forgive you.

Ross: Oh, thank God.

Sheman: But we still want Psyko Stevo to kick your lily-ass.

Ross: That's understandable.

Butchy Woman: Yeah, we're his most loyal fanbase.

Ross: That Stevo, everything for his fans. Well thanks guys, but I should get going.

Sheman: Well I hope you learned your lesson today.

Ross: And a valuable lesson at that... Don't clothesline a hemophiliac at a gay pride parade.

Sheman: Make sure you remember that in Las Vegas at Stevo's parade.

Ross: Thanks guys and girls... and she-guys... and he-girls. I will.

Ross gets out of the dumpster and brushes himself off. He walks off into the horizon as all of the gay and lesbian crowd wave goodbye to him. He turns around and waves back. As he turns back around to keep walking, Ross pulls out his cell phone and dials Talon. The screen fades black as we hear these last words.

Ross: Hey Talon, I think I just killed a gay hemophiliac.
Edited by Alex Ross, Jun 27 2008, 07:47 PM.
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